Obscure Laughingstocks - Lolcows without substantial online presence.

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Christ, I'm glad I never waded into the the chat since I started playing a bit ago. Can't wait to see how this explosion plays out, I had no idea this was going on.
 
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I saw these posts on lolcow.farms. Kenaz Filan seems like a promising cow.
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link: https://archive.is/2018.09.17-02:05...w-breaking-criminal-type-psychopath-for-years
 
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Teddyboygreg
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This guy has really slowed down over the past for years, but during his prime was quite a trip. He used to post all sorts of insane, likely drug fulled rants both in text and video form. He would also brag about the literally skid row hookers he was fucking on a regular basis.

This dude considers himself one of the only real "true american teddyboy". If you are wondering what the hell a teddyboy is or why anyone would want to be one, its a rather obscure british subculture from the late 50s that looks a lot like rockabilly, but dont call him a rockabilly as they are poseurs. This dude once spent >1k according to him on teddyboy robes which is like their equivalent of a biker jacket but makes you look like some sort of old fuck who never leaves his smoking room.

He used to have a rivalry with another LA area barber who goes by "richie the barber" who has tatted his whole face to look like a clown. That guy is a minor lolcow in his own right.

Currently teddyboygreg (TBG) lives in Moscow running the only true and honest american teddy boy barber shop in all of Russia.

current instagram; https://www.instagram.com/teddysrocknrollbarbershop/

old reuploaded youtube sperging; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23bRhTHUfgU
 
I've been browsing a Disney World forum, at least 90% of the posts from this one member who goes under the name "Zootopia Dude" are him bitching about the lack of Zootopia in the parks:
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He's celebrating the closure of a wildlife exhibit at Animal Kingdom because he thinks it means that Zootopia is going into the space, he even tags his friend (who he apparently thinks is the actual character).
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He got pissed off because employees wouldn't let him hug one of the characters DURING A PARADE:
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His obsession with that film and the persistence of having it represented in the parks is so bad that it (supposedly) affected him in real life:
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"I'm not a furry, but don't discriminate against us!":
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Someone called a spade a spade, and he's not having it:
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Dunno, this guy may have some potential...

EDIT: Found his twitter
https://mobile.twitter.com/jsjmbloom
 

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For years I've watched Charles Webster Baer of Bend, Oregon sperg out on the internet. His big thing has always been GIG, short for Global Internet Government. I won't bore you with all the specifics of GIG, but suffice to say, much autism.

He has a website for it.

http://www.globalinternetgovernment.com/g-i-g-.html

He has been on the internet for well over a decade, and his footprint is pretty large.

He's known for spamming about GIG all over the internet, particularly in jamband or Phish related fan communities which is where my degenerate wook ass became aquainted with him in the late 2000s.

He's not exactly hilarious unless you get to interact with him in a forum, but these days he mostly just spams and doesn't actually engage.

Of course, he's been on YouTube for years which is where most laughs are going to come from.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0ysfiSMcGnk&t=33s

 
Found an old school Deviant Art cow who goes by the name DisneyBrony2012.

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He makes tons of OCs by tracing from other artists on the site. Here's some Pokemon trainers he drew.

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Here's an OC he made from the old children's cartoon Kids Next Door w/ bonus backstory. I laughed so hard at the name of this OC that I had to read it back to myself aloud to make sure I wasn't going crazy.

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Here's another Sailor Moon OC he made with backstory of course.

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He's also really into writing fan fiction. Here's part 1 of a MLP story he wrote.

https://web.archive.org/web/2018100...012/art/A-Flurry-of-Emotions-part-1-699631183

I really wanted to write up an OP for this guy, but after doing some digging, I just don't think he'd sustain a good thread. Haven't found any really good chimpouts. This is the best I could find.

Some other chuckle head made a journal ranting about him for getting angry at Marvel,
and him getting angry with Deviant Art because they were "random flagging" artists.

I believe his thread would also fail because he primarily sticks to Deviant Art. He doesn't rant on Twitter or have a backlog of Youtube videos of him getting angry like a spastic. If anyone could find more information on this gentleman, let me know. Maybe the Op can be salvaged.
 
Spax3 and KoiKitsune2006 come to mind. Well, Spax3 wasn't obscure about a decade ago, but he is now, in the sense that he is definitely past his peak of popularity as a Youtuber and lolcow.

Both of these guys were angry video game reviewers. I'll post about these guys here because fuck encyclopedia dramatica, I can't stand the style of writing there. Spax3 was a hardcore sonic fan who was really passionate about his fandom...perhaps too much. He really hated Jason Griffith, not just for his shitty voice work as Sonic, but because he actually sent him an email, like a sperg, telling Jason that he should do a better job. Griffith responded, according to Spax, and gave him a rude response. Gee, I wonder why.

This got to the point where he'd basically throw tantrums just mentioning him, and iirc, he got his fans to call Sega (or 4Kids), trying to get him fired.

Now, this is where my memory gets foggy, but here are the crazy things I remember about Spax3 (what I mentioned with Jason was merely the appetizer):
  • His mother is a lawyer, so Spax would use her to threaten legal action against a few people, including a 13 year old girl who criticized him for his laziness on some Sonic fan project (a movie where Spax was being lazy as fuck and got kicked out of it)
  • Other people would take note of what a little bitch Spax was being, and since Spax had a YouTube partnership, he would get videos criticizing him pulled from the site
  • He even threatened encyclopedia dramatica with legal action from his mom - nothing happened in the end
  • Spax3 had a deviantart account where he made typical "original content, do not steal" imagery that is often associated with Sonic fans. And yes, he made a character to represent himself, it was Alex/Ed The Hedgehog
  • He made his Channel Awesome-like site called Cartoon Network ASN. Mostly terrible shit there, among the people there were ChibiNekoDemyx (who has a thread here), Guru Larry, Wizwar100 (a snobby Asian retard who was also on the angry game reviewing bandwagon), and BigAl2k6.
  • InternetAristocrat made a video about Spax3's website, holy shit
  • BigAl2k6 and Spax3 once had a slap fight that reached Youtube, Al uploaded a long skype chat with some other folks talking about what a lolcow Spax became. These were all taken down, and for a while, they made peace with each other, until...
  • I'm not sure what happened, but the friendship came to a bitter end at some point. This year, at PlayItBogart's* discord server, Al didn't have nice things to say about Spax3
  • Spax3 is still somewhat active on Youtube. Just look at him and his current friends in that banner, good lord...Spax is begging for a JUST photoshop.
  • Also, he acknowledges the asshole he was in this video from February 2018. And jfc, I just noticed part 2, it's over half an hour long, fuck that.
* - PlayItBogart is another game reviewer from the previous decade
In the imgur album linked above, there's someone named Harley. That brings me to the other guy I mentioned, KoiKitsune2006. As one of the screencaps says, he got retsupurae'd. "Look, I'm sorry!" is one of my favorite lines from them. Anyways, he was...not a great reviewer even for the standards of 2006-2008 Youtube. After some account deletions and returns, he has almost no viewership today. He may seem inoffensive, but there is one creepy story about this fucker from 2012-13, where he tried to fuck an underage autistic girl since she was 14 (source). Koi was hunting for her pussy, even though she had an emotionally sensitive boyfriend. His chase hurt their relationship for a bit, to the point where the boyfriend was thinking of killing himself. This ultimately failed, with the boyfriend realizing what was happening, and getting Koi to fuck off. And Harley was legitimately autistic, too, she didn't get that Koi was trying to fuck her.
 
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Cody Linman is an infamous shitposter from /v/ and one of the biggest Nintendrones I've ever seen to date. He's infamous for shilling mediocre Nintendo games like Paper Mario: Sticker Star , Paper Mario: Color Splash, Star Fox Zero and Metroid Prime: Federation Force. He's also a fucking hypocrite and a compulsive liar. I'll start by posting some images I found on /v/ which can give you a pretty good idea of the dumb shit he's done.

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Above are his pitiful attempts to cover his tracks on Twitter.

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Here he uses the same image to reveal his presence, which is a bad idea.

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He even uses his own YouTube comments to start threads on /v/.

Other offenses have included:

* Regularly bashing Sony and their games (He seems okay with PC and Mircosoft though)
* Bashing Devil May Cry and complaining how dumb the games are, despite liking the first Bayonetta game which was made by the same guy (He hates Bayonetta 2, though)
* Going after YouTubers like SomeCallMeJohnny and Angry Joe for not sharing the same views on games like him (Johnny for making a negative review on Skyward Sword and Joe for liking the new God of War game, for example)
* Arlo for doing a retrospective on Nintendo's infamous 2008 E3 conference
* Sean Malstrom, a blogger who writes about the business side of Nintendo, is also one of his main targets for regularly criticizing Nintendo's developers like Eiji Aounma, Yoshio Sakamoto and even Shigeru Miyamoto among other things (to be fair, Malstrom's kind of a looney himself).
* Applauding Nintendo for shutting down fan projects like AM2R

At least two of his vids were posted in the YouTube Autism thread. Here's one where he gets salty over Angry Joe's positive review of God of War.


His upload schedule is pretty erratic, he'll post like 4-5 vids within minutes of each other about every half week or so. Most have more dislikes than likes.

https://archive.fo/hJugQ - YouTube profile
https://archive.fo/QU03a - Disqus Profile
https://archive.fo/xAP6j - Current Twitter Account
https://archive.fo/stwxQ - Old Twitter account, now abandoned.
http://archive.is/sP8XG - Even older Twitter account.
https://archive.is/Uk0j4 - GameFAQs account
http://archive.is/cvVsi - Metacritic account
https://archive.is/IVJc5 - Fanfiction.net account
https://archive.fo/bNprc - His wordpress blog that he regularly shills on /v/
 
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I remember this old skitzo dude called Josef Boberg who used to comment spam a lot on Swedish Wordpress blogs. Most of it was just New age woo/alternative theories and "There is something wrong with women, they won't fuck me" bullshit, but he had one hangup in particular that stood out: His crusade against underwear.

You see, underwear is something that THEY have invented just to keep you down. Underwear are adult diapers, and that is why you should refuse to wear underwear. He also refused to refer to underwear as anything other than "Adult diapers". He confessed that his preferred mode of dress was a jumpsuit with nothing underneath. One time he wrote a lengthy dissertation on the proper way of wiping your ass, in the form of a numbered list. He also claimed to have a "long-distance live-in girlfriend", who was probably just a mental health case worker.
 
Okay, if we can mention 4chan people here, then hoooo boy. Let me introduce you to the 4chan Cup. Basically, during the peak shitposting era of 2010-11, someone got an idea to do streams with PES 2011. I think it was originally teams representing consoles, and then it became the 4chan Cup. Basically, the host at the time, Germanbro, took a bunch of teams in PES 2011, and changed them to represent 4chan boards.

This idea surprisingly caught on with a considerable amount of viewers in the later stages, with matches like /sp/ vs /v/, /a/ vs /v/, /sp/ vs /a/ and the potential other matches that could have happened. Naturally, the tournament got bigger as more teams were added, managers were brought into the mix, and the cup even got a wikidot page (and later, its own website). Initially, Germanbro was making all the rosters by himself, so to get more accurate teams, managers were allowed to be the ones with all the power. Those managers being trips, of course...you can already see how this could cause trouble, with just that detail.

And then you had really cancerous boards getting in on the cup, like /pol/ and /mlp/, among others. Oddly enough, really small boards were added as well, which was where I kinda turned against the event, to be honest. Shit like /an/, /3/, /diy/, /ic/, etc. got teams, and it's like who fucking cares about those? Apparently, one man did, his name was Dragonfag.

Dragonfag was such an autistic fan of this event that he was involved in many ways. Test streams, wiki editing, and he managed /n/...as well as 16 (sixteen) other teams, with alter egos. He did this by getting multiple accounts on the wiki, and on skype, and used numerous trips. What gave him away was his alter ego to manage /cm/. See, this supposed /cm/ manager was supposed to be in France, but when he posted on /sp/ (a board which shows the flag that is determined by the user's IP), his flag was Irish...Dragonfag was Irish. Then the guys in charge of the wiki checked his IP, and found out all the usernames he used there, giving away that he managed all those teams.

This is one of many tales from the cup, probably the most interesting one by far. The Rigged Wiki's full story is here.
 
(Unfortunately, most of the original posts have been pruned/deleted before anyone thought to archive them)

Do you like owning virtual items that other people can't get?
Do you like to spend tens of thousands of dollars on artificially scarce .swf files in 15-year old flash games?
Do you like to sit at your computer, refreshing a forum page over and over for 10 hours on end, to get a code for an exclusive item that only 10 people will have?
Do you like to break down in tears when popular demand means new items similar to older exclusive items are released?
Do you like to threaten to sue indie game developers for removing bugged content because that would make something you don't have be permanently unavailable to you?

If you do, you might be Ninjaty.
There are people who are attached to things they own, and there is a 20+ grown man who has meltdowns whenever rare (i.e. no longer available) virtual items are involved.

The most recent incident is one where the game dev gave away codes for an exclusive item. Ninjaty didn't get one, and he had a lot to say about it.

(This Zippleclopper fellow isn't really involved, but the original post in the quote got deleted.)
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It's pretty funny in context, but it only gets more bizarre when this incident from 3 years back comes to mind.
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He contacted lawyers about these virtual items. The threads are long gone, but this apparently wasn't the first time he's tried to sue over something like this, it was the third in four years.

I didn't even know he had a Twitter, so imagine my surprise when it shows up on Google and it's exactly what I expected it to be.
As a crazy fan who spends thousands of dollars, the devs are obviously reluctant to ban him. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop him from airing his grievances out on Twitter, where he's been muted by pretty much everyone on the dev team.
I am very sorry that these all go in reverse chronological order, because some of these are very long.

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One might wonder why someone might be like this, to which the following might give a clue.
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Eh, virtual items that because of ToS rules you don't even own are basically the same as humans.
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To be clear, you can't even trade between players, so the only value anything has is "you were online during a specific week nine years ago and spent $5".
 
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There once was this plastic looking Instagram girl named Rosalee Ochoa, from Utah. She popped up in numerous pages that post hot girls because of her boobs, and being in decent shape. At some point, her account abruptly disappeared. And later, she had a new one called ms_rosalee_ochoa

She was active there until October of last year, with no posts since then. Out of curiosity, I did a bit of digging, and oh boy. First, #rosaleeochoa leads you to her mugshot from years ago, with no makeup. Sadly, there isn’t much information beyond a screencap of the cause of her arrest (protective order violation). The account that posted it, rosalee.ochoa, is a troll account. A commenter there is the only apparent source of her private life. Supposedly, Rosalee left her daughter to be an escort. She also supposedly wanted to be a porn star when she was 19. Maybe her story is known to some people who had to deal with her in the area? Who knows.

I checked on her Facebook (Miss Rosalee Ochoa) and it seems like this thot is in prison.

Per someone’s post on the page:
“For those wondering why Rosalee Ochoa disappeared, it looks like she got arrested on some very serious charges. Would love to be corrected, but it looks like she is in prison, and will be there for a long time. Possession/use of a controlled substance, drug paraphernalia, controlled substance schedule violation. The city lines up, too, Salt Lake City. Anyone know her age? Just making sure I got the right person here.”

http://slsheriff.org/docketroster/docket/Docket_2018-01-31.pdf
 
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Reactions: AnOminous
"We've got to bring Jack Grimes back to this country now as he's the only man who can save America, save us, from the crap that gutter rats like Bush have been pulling. We know he'll quit Canada and become active again, even though we're outside of the timeline Nostradamus established for him to becom Dictator of America, if there's a public demand for Fascism as a real economic theory."

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Perfect thread for my personal pet project that absolutely nobody knows about or remembers.

This guy, Jack Grimes of the "United Fascist Union," seemed like he was a hoax but in fact he was real. He ran for dictator of America in, I think, the 2000, 2004, and 2008 elections. He was once on Jerry Springer even--and you'd think he was one of the actors Springer sometimes used, but no, this guy was actually real.

What is the United Fascist Union, you might ask?
  1. The United Fascist Union exists to promote a revival of the republican commonwealth of Imperial Rome and stand against liberalism, public corruption, decadence, and Democracy in all evil forms they manifest themselves in. While the Fascist Union is a "White Civil Rights" organization, we will not limit our membership on the basis of race or religion provided the applicant is a conservative of national origin. Nor will the U.F.U. endorse the vile form of racial hatred being practiced by conventional rightist groups. We will not accept those who hate minorities, practice discrimination, or do violent, stupid things as members.
I've identified 3 names associated with the UFU -Jack Grimes, of course, and also Sally/Joanne Parker (pictured below) and "Heather Goldsmith" whom may or may not have actually existed as I cannot find any photographic proof of her. But I believe he mentions her on one of his facebook posts, so...

Pictured with Sally Parker:

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Fun facts:

Believes in instituting a psychic stormtrooper force by the government.
Believes fascism is the only proven economic theory.
Believed Nostradamus predicted he would become America's dictator.
Believes that he can see people souls leaving their body and that different races have different kinds of souls.
Is a vegan.


Here's the party's shitty website.

Here he is on Jerry Springer with Sally AKA Joanne Parker. Interestingly, the black guy at the end proclaims he is an American before being a black man, something that the left has reversed itself on wildly since then... a sign of the times.


Here's an older website they have with some pretty prcious speeches.

Another old site and source of the pictures with Joanna/Sally Parker-seems to have not been property archived--look for the list of archived files.

Here's an example. This and his choice of fashion in his speech I'll link next tells me he's a big fan of Bester from Babylon 5 (a show he references in a speech).

"The United Fascist Union believes that the psychic is the next great step in the evolution of humankind on this planet. We believe that with the dawn of the New Age that will come about at the turn of the twenty-first century there will be a marked increase in the birth rate of natural telepaths, both senders and receivers. This will come be a good thing because it is a natural part of humankind's evolution back towards the spiritual plane and away from the carnal desires that have marked the age of Pisces and held human beings back from developing to their fullest potential."

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Here's (part ii) another speech he gave for the esteemed Flying Saucer Society of Dover.

Here's a "speech" he gave on video. Absolutely worth a watch.

Post from FB (I think) about how he can see souls:

By Mr. J. Grimes

11/13/2014

Ever since early childhood I’ve had the ability to see death. By this I mean whatever the component of a human being is that animates his body during life then departs upon his death. The first time I saw this thing was at my Uncle Wilhelm’s funeral as they were lowering his coffin. There was a yellowish-green cloud above the grave, some instinct told me that this was the soul.

Several decades later, I noticed when I was in Vietnam, different races have different sorts of souls. For example, when an Aryan was killed, this same yellow-green aspect would exit through the top of his head. When a Charlie died, his soul was a smokey gray or bluish-hued colour leaving via the soles of his feet. When a Negro fell in combat, there was a white line, then a dot that went across his eyeball, that became a dot, nothing more whatsoever.

When I was a member of the National Socialist Party of America, I told Frank Collin and Hal Kaiser about the phenomenon I observed in combat, thinking it proof positive that races are different spiritually, that should be published in our newspaper “The New Order”. Commander Collin ordered me never to tell anyone else this, lest it be thought the Nazi Party attracted nut cases.

Now, the N.S.P.A. has no authority over me I don’t feel obliged to continue my silence. It seems good evidence to support the white racist position and may be scientific evidence of racial differences that should not be lost when I pass away."

Another:

https://archive.org/details/united_...oBQ-S7iNQ56RHatIoQPixOXJFFTSRUuIbbyeTHYI6tXxw

His facebook pages today I've dug up--now he identifies as being with the Ku Klux Klan:

https://www.facebook.com/jackson.grimes.1
https://www.facebook.com/jacksonkirk.grimes.7

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Amazon wish list taken from fb page:

https://www.amazon.com/registry/wis...fpd9F34DZigvL8GGwK3BU4mZkDrCxq5XmVIbNJNgEUspE

"Liberal poop about our most sublime brotherhood. Doesn't gel with what I was taught in Klancraft & Klanology, as a member of the Southern Knights of the Ku Klux Klan. I should have known better than to buy a film produced by The History Channel."

Here he ties his racist KKK stuff and the UFU. Note that it's a bit of revisionism, as he was apparently pagan back then (possibly Sally/Joanne Parker's influence?) and no Klan member would be involved in that stuff. Also, he was anti-America back in those days (see the Springer clip) and wanted to revive the Roman Empire in America which is definitely not a Klan thing.

People have requested that I do more movies. I deduce they're referring to the two short films I made for the United Fascist Union, while I was running for US President during the 2000 & 2004 elections, which can be found at the Internet archive.org. I was paid and paid well to make those two films. I appreciate people telling me what a good job I did with the short moving pictures Joanne Parker and I made together but, let's face it folks, we live in a capitalist society and, as such I can't work if I'm not paid to do so. All of us, the leadership of the U.F.U., had either come from the American Nazi Party or the Ku Klux Klan, so the non-racial Fascist U. was our attempt to do an end run around the Jewish system. We hoped our party would become the central organ of state through an election, then we could introduce whatever kind of laws were deemed necessary to restore balance and harmony in America.

This is where one of you can possibly assist. Apparently the UFU people donated a treasure trove of records to Brown University. If someone nearby could retrieve copies of everything from them that'd be amazing.

https://library.brown.edu/riamco/xm...ZJB8UjVQETnxdrvFuKU-Wb6PxXOED6-bfkw0a81WjsL7w

There's plenty of other great stuff on the above links. This is most of what I've found. Click around and view his FB page, etc, and get a good laugh.
 

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I didn't know exactly where to put this because he's not worthy of his own thread, but I thought I'd share what I have collected on him so far. For what it's worth, though, he considers himself a lolcow.

He has been posted here twice, so I'd like you all to meet XanderMartin98 for the third time. This time, however, there are links! And feet. His feet. Check out the posts on page 53 and 60 for more info. Funnily enough, though, a lot of this info comes from Xander himself.

Feet.

He is 20 and apparently comes from San Antonio, Texas. He is a writer of rather... interesting fanfics.

Namely, Rocko's Modern Life and Parappa the Rapper brain control fetish fanfic. If you're a frequenter of subreddits dedicated to 90s cartoons, undertale or metroid, you've probably seen him posting his foot fetish and brain control 'art' all over the place. He sockpuppets so fucking much that it's pretty fucking obvious to tell that it's him posting his own content over and over on the same two fucking accounts. He is obsessed with Alphys and Un Jammer Lammy, and infact, has been BANNED from several undertale subreddits because he spammed his foot fetish art / fanfics there. All it takes is one google search to find this out.

Now, when I say brain control fetish, I mean it literally. He wants to slide into someones 'slimy, meaty' brain and control it 'spongebob style'. He's said that himself and all of his fanart depicts that. It was pretty easy to find all of his accounts because he uses the same username for everything. He has also been banned from deviantart once, but that won't stop him. Nothing will stop Xander from telling the world about how much he wants to fuck Lammy's footpussy.

Did I mention he's really, really horny for Lammy? According to the Parappa wiki, she had 3d feet in her game. Which probably explains a lot about his obsession with her, actually.

He has a HUGE thing for embarrassment. Particularly, embarrassing himself on the internet in front of strangers. He does all of this so people will make fun of him while he's over there rubbing (licking?) his feet and stroking his dick. In fact, he's so desperate to be humiliated, he actually made his own kiwifarms thread, which immediately got sent to spergatory... Honestly, for someone who wants people to make fun of him, he left a lot out of his thread. Like this pornhub video he uploaded of him showing off his feet and licking them.

Now, I could post links to his fanfics, but let's look at something a bit different than what he's usually known for.

He is a member of some website called thetoptens. He was/is a frequent poster there, and as you can tell from the site name... It's dedicated to posting top 10s. For your reading pleasure, here's a top 10 he made of the sexiest things to happen in his fanfics!

Not enough? Here's some more. He apparently identifies with Rick Sanchez, Robbie Rotten and Kazuichi Souda from Super Dangan Ronpa 2. For reference, Souda is a shameless pervert just like Xander. And apparently, Xander has a 'porn fetish'. Wow!

(Unfortunately, I can't get any of these to archive properly and it's so late i dont wanna do them individually)

Also yes, as you can tell, he is legitimately autistic. He has said it himself. I don't think that excuses his... behavior, though. Apparently he's been going at this for years (his imgur account dates back to 2014), and got even worse in 2017 with the discovery of his brain vore control fetish thing. He is also bisexual and a furry... And besides what was listed, he is also obsessed with Ren and Stimpy, and has drawn stimpy foot fetish porn. I don't particularly need to post pictures since he's so... open about this.

He posts on reddit quite frequently. One of his accounts has a picture of him with his Rocko plushie.

While highly regarded as being one of the only actually consistently smart, tasteful and relatively inoffensive users of the website (despite remarkably little being known about his actual real-life personality due to his distinctive lack of blog posts) and having some really impressively large and well-educated lists, Xander's TopTens content is unfortunately plagued by numerous issues, from the Admin's retardedly strict and often nonsensical grammar-correction and content-filtering policies utterly ruining his lists to borderline troll users jumping onto them and leaving all kinds of idiotic, ignorant, random crap on them, from duplicate posts that could have easily been avoided simply by checking the Remix page to gratuitous Lion King/Kingdom Hearts hatred of the absolute highest degree you could possibly imagine. Overall, though, the sheer quality of his content makes it worthwhile.

Although none of his obsessions have truly reached the level of absolute LOLcows like Danteem and Disney1994, XanderMartin98 has still acquired a pretty unhealthy number of them over the course of his many, many months of service to TheTopTens, including Cave Story, Xenoblade Chronicles, Undertale, the Parappa The Rapper/Um Jammer Lammy franchise, and several normally quite underrated Youtubers such as I Hate Everything.


youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRtO18ARrcfmqhxrBDJdzMw (nothing of interest here tho)
tumblr https://xandermartin98.tumblr.com/ (ARCHIVE https://archive.is/gebio )
soundcloud (yeah) https://soundcloud.com/user-625329871-327098627 (https://my.mixtape.moe/mnezya.png )
twitter (unused) https://twitter.com/XanderMartin98 (ARCHIVE https://archive.fo/jDdeW )
ff https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5606545/xandermartin98 (ARCHIVE https://archive.is/AjNp2 )
thetoptens wikia http://thetoptens-site-v2.wikia.com/wiki/XanderMartin98 (ARCHIVE https://my.mixtape.moe/nddjkm.png )
kiwifarms (banned) https://kiwifarms.net/members/generalsinner666.20141/
the thread he made about himself https://kiwifarms.net/threads/xandermartin98-xander-martin.37406/
reddits
https://www.reddit.com/user/Darkrai9000/ (suspended)
https://www.reddit.com/user/Darkrai9OOO/ (inactive) (archive https://archive.is/NH9ik )
https://www.reddit.com/user/PleasantPersonality0(archive https://archive.is/criuC )
https://www.reddit.com/user/FenderBender4756 https://archive.is/8nmMn
furaffinity (suspended, of course) https://www.furaffinity.net/user/xandermartin98/
deviantart https://www.deviantart.com/returnofxand96 (archive https://my.mixtape.moe/qdsdie.png HUGE image. also contains garfield feet)
imgur https://imgur.com/user/xandermartin98/submitted (archive https://my.mixtape.moe/rkzcvq.png REALLY HUGE image)
pornhub (yeah. nsfw) https://www.pornhub.com/users/xandermartin98 (archive https://archive.is/z4fJ1 )
ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/users/xandermartin98/pseuds/xandermartin98 (archive) https://archive.is/810jq and an archive of one of his fanfics https://archive.is/iUOnx
 
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Peter K Jonelelt ( 78 )
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Peter K Jonelelt is a German born American businessman who graduated from the UCLA Anderson School of management. He has worked as a CEO/COO for several companies, a Project Manager and as an executive consultant. You can check out his impressive resume from his web page.


WARNING: FULLY FLASH SITE

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Once you get past the triumphant star-trek like intro, if you click around all the buzzwords and obtuse business imagery, you can find links going to his personal page, where he writes about the Sons of Light and his views on religion... more specifically, his belief that lizard zionist nazis control the world. His websites are a treasure trove of web 1.0 kitsch.

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In 2011, he created another webpage called PatriotsOccupyAmerica
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I guess this guy is interesting to me because he started believing this stuff well before he retired from his job as an executive consultant. The idea that the guy in a suit you paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to reorganize your company believes that mini nukes blew up the twin towers is really amusing to me.

 
This guy
https://www.quora.com/profile/Arnold-Limatoc
I found him on Quora (I don't see too many cows from this site here, that's a shame), and he's been posting the same copypastas since september, if I remember well.
Apparently, he has invented some kind of locking nut for engineering applications, it seems pretty legit.
The only problem being that he has some sort of narcissistic complex, self proclaiming himself a genius on Quora and posting multiple times a day nonsensical shit about his invention, invoking quantum physics and relativity, which of course are completely unrelated and denote not only total incompetence in said domains, but also complete lack of self awareness when confronted to people who call him on his bullshit.
His website, where he sells his nuts, as well as his patent, make no mention of that, strangely enough ...
http://www.cpnfastener.com/
https://patents.justia.com/assignee/arnold-permanent-nut-llc
Oh, and he's also quite eager to tell everyone he's a genius on every topic he posts on, no matter the subject.
Mr Arnold is one of my favourite personnal cows for now.

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