DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

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Wing Zero said:
That example is especially LOL-worthy because his "voice acting" was literally just him reading the dialogue in his own voice for every character. It still amazes me to this day how his viewerbase didn't just plummet to zero after calling his fans lazy for not showing up.



The sad thing is that he's gonna be bragging about those meaningless achievements and think he's owed the world for them until the day he dies, and the only thing he'll actually be remembered for is the videos/tweets/forums etc of how much of an narcissistic asshole he is.
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LaPreferencia said:
That little clip I think is where his Process was most transparent at that time: "I'm running through the checklist of things viewers like seeing based on what the popular people are doing, where's my money?" - the only thing he forgot on that list was simply to also Be A Likeable Personality

But even since then it seems like Phil's slipped even further from that and isn't even putting in the effort for VAing or the likes, which is partly why I think his viewing has been so boring lately for everyone involved.
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I wish more people would use that Pokemon run in detractor videos, because like you guys said, it really is just pure, distilled DSP entitlement beautifully gift-wrapped in one boring playthrough(©DSP, 2008).
 
Wurstbrot said:
Now I have RDR2 and Phil streamed it before I could even start it.
WHAT A SHILL ASSHOLE. THIS IS NOT LEGIT, THIS IS NOT EQUALITY, THIS IS NOT FAIR.
Oh, stop the Wild West horses, I don't give a shit.
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IT is fair, as Phil stated in his latest rant, he is a "Professional". His is reasoning is that because he is being paid he is a professional. I guess all of those panhandlers in the subway are all "professionals" too then. What a loser
 
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You guys don't understand, Phil is the hardest working human under the sun.

Did you know Phil does heavy lifting every morning? It's true. He strains his muscles hard lifting his fat ass out of bed every morning. The struggle, the pain, most humans don't know the hardship of getting out of bed every day. But he does it. For you.

Then there's the hygiene. Phil risks drowning every single day. Not once, but twice. The first time, he has to endure a boiling cascade of water that inevitably coats his whole body. Not only that, but he must endure this torrent of water while also applying the highest class of good-smelling products to his body. Then, after surviving an uphill battle only salmon swimming up waterfalls could understand, he risks drowning a second time. This time, a minty solution fills his mouth. He has to endure the coarse bristles of a brush as it runs up and down his gums, threatening to break them and cause him to bleed out. He does all of this to look good. For you.

Then Phil does acrobatics. While on his broken back, no less. He has to bend down, and pull clothing up onto his body. Multiple times if he needs to wear underwear. The he has to raise his heavy ass meaty arms to put a shirt on. The strain is intense and grueling. But he does it. For you.

No wonder this man eats a high caloric intake. His morning workouts would put us all to shame. Luckily he has a gone through the trouble of supporting another human being (yes, out of the goodness of his heart), and they do the tiniest task of cooking all his meals for him. For such a small task, being able to live in close proximity to a god like Phil is all they could ask. And they do it. For you.

Then the mightiest task of the day. This man sits on a couch. He risks getting sores on his ass. He presses a series of EXTREMELY COMPLEX and EASY TO FORGET buttons to start streaming. And he has to remember the camera and microphone are on. The mental ability required for this is one only a master genius could have. It took 10 years of constant practice and mental training to accomplish this feat. And he did it all. For you.

For 4 hours at a time, this man is locked into the most precarious of situations. He has to play videogames of a master class level, with puzzles that would boggle all our minds, while engaging with an active audience of around 20 people. Not since Swordfish have I seen such multitasking. No wonder they throw their money at him. He's exploring territory nobody has ever seen before. Doing things on a MASTER CLASS gaming level. And all while giving jokes of the utmost wit. And he does all of this, free of charge, for you.

The agony of such a life is so complex, so grueling, it only makes sense when pretenders to the throne appear. These usurpers, these SHILLS, have to resort to dirty underhanded tricks to become popular and steal all of Phil's hard-earned money. They do silly gimmicks like dancing like clowns, or yelling into the microphone, all to entertain and steal away Phil's viewers. Phil is the only streamer, the only bastion of morality and class, who is honest and truthful and HUMAN at all times. And he does all of this. For you.

There are other unthinkable challenges as well. There are things no ordinary person faces, known as BILLS. These horrible things that never go away, respawning in around a month's time. They always demand Phil's hard earned money for services he's clearly using. These services should naturally be free, since no human could understand our God Phil's suffering, but they just don't understand. So doing even more for us low-level human scumbags, he pays the bills. Truly it's a sacrifice worthy of praise. And he does it all. For you.

I'll be honest I got tired of typing this at this point. Imagine I finished with a joke on taxes and detractors. That's about it. Have a spooky Halloween, all.
 
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Holy shit, I knew we'd get this rant from him but I didn't expect him to get that ass mad. Yeah there's some guys out there who benefit from streaming earl, but by and large, most people will watch their favourite streamers. Now why are some streamers more popular than others? Well, because they're more entertaining, usually. That's how we've consumed media for decades now. The most popular stuff tends to be the most entertaining. Phil can't face up to this fact though, because it would imply he himself isn't the god tier comedian, erudite analyst and witty raconteur he thinks he is. So he makes up wild conspiracies for why other people are more successful than him, because his fragile little ego can't handle the fact that someone might be better than him at something. It's utterly insane.. But great to watch.
 
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neger psykolog said:
I have no idea how he isn't ADHD. Add in the rocking back and forth, the maddening attempts to schedule his shit, him losing his temper when things don't go his way, an inability to pay attention, a lack of spatial awareness, the non-stop talking about random shit, the drinking, the never cleaning up his house, the never trying anything new, impulsively saying/doing things without thinking, the need for instant gratification, the inability to adhere to rules, difficulty taking turns (no multiplayer), inability to hold down a job, and a big inability to manage personal finances, making promises and never keeping them (Patreon goals)

It's not because he's too stupid to improve things, he just has no control over what he can pay attention to. He's obviously developed some coping skills but has never clearly figured out what makes himself tick.

The perfect, perfect example is his prestream length. He has no fucking control over it.

Maybe its purely an environmental thing when someone isolates themselves so much and for so long, but he clearly has issues with all of these things.
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I do not subscribe to the belief that Philip has any kind of 'tism. He knows (or maybe knew at this point in his life) how to conduct himself in a social environment. For the most part he can function independently when performing a job. I think Phil is just an overall stupid and arrogant man with a case of arrested development (let's say he's perpetually stuck at the age of 14 mentally). That's my armchair diagnosis.

As for being bad at games there's other explanations other than autism: he refuses to wear prescription glasses so this is why he constantly misses things on the screen. His arrogance and narcissism leads him to believe that he doesn't need to look at the tutorial or check the options screen to understand game mechanics. As far as forgetting fundamental knowledge I have a theory that his alcoholism might be effecting his memory. To go back to Street Fighter 2; Phil has forgotten tons of fundamentals that you just don't easily forget in a game you've been playing in tournaments for almost decade. You don't forget how tick throws work, Balrog's 50/50 setup after a throw, and other shit. It's just like riding a bike, you don't easily forget information like that. So I'm willing to bet that alcohol has negatively impacted his memory or it could be Alzheimers.
 
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PomegranateKing said:
You guys don't understand, Phil is the hardest working human under the sun.

Did you know Phil does heavy lifting every morning? It's true. He strains his muscles hard lifting his fat ass out of bed every morning. The struggle, the pain, most humans don't know the hardship of getting out of bed every day. But he does it. For you.

Then there's the hygiene. Phil risks drowning every single day. Not once, but twice. The first time, he has to endure a boiling cascade of water that inevitably coats his whole body. Not only that, but he must endure this torrent of water while also applying the highest class of good-smelling products to his body. Then, after surviving an uphill battle only salmon swimming up waterfalls could understand, he risks drowning a second time. This time, a minty solution fills his mouth. He has to endure the coarse bristles of a brush as it runs up and down his gums, threatening to break them and cause him to bleed out. He does all of this to look good. For you.

Then Phil does acrobatics. While on his broken back, no less. He has to bend down, and pull clothing up onto his body. Multiple times if he needs to wear underwear. The he has to raise his heavy ass meaty arms to put a shirt on. The strain is intense and grueling. But he does it. For you.

No wonder this man eats a high caloric intake. His morning workouts would put us all to shame. Luckily he has a gone through the trouble of supporting another human being (yes, out of the goodness of his heart), and they do the tiniest task of cooking all his meals for him. For such a small task, being able to live in close proximity to a god like Phil is all they could ask. And they do it. For you.

Then the mightiest task of the day. This man sits on a couch. He risks getting sores on his ass. He presses a series of EXTREMELY COMPLEX and EASY TO FORGET buttons to start streaming. And he has to remember the camera and microphone are on. The mental ability required for this is one only a master genius could have. It took 10 years of constant practice and mental training to accomplish this feat. And he did it all. For you.

For 4 hours at a time, this man is locked into the most precarious of situations. He has to play videogames of a master class level, with puzzles that would boggle all our minds, while engaging with an active audience of around 20 people. Not since Swordfish have I seen such multitasking. No wonder they throw their money at him. He's exploring territory nobody has ever seen before. Doing things on a MASTER CLASS gaming level. And all while giving jokes of the utmost wit. And he does all of this, free of charge, for you.

The agony of such a life is so complex, so grueling, it only makes sense when pretenders to the throne appear. These usurpers, these SHILLS, have to resort to dirty underhanded tricks to become popular and steal all of Phil's hard-earned money. They do silly gimmicks like dancing like clowns, or yelling into the microphone, all to entertain and steal away Phil's viewers. Phil is the only streamer, the only bastion of morality and class, who is honest and truthful and HUMAN at all times. And he does all of this. For you.

There are other unthinkable challenges as well. There are things no ordinary person faces, known as BILLS. These horrible things that never go away, respawning in around a month's time. They always demand Phil's hard earned money for services he's clearly using. These services should naturally be free, since no human could understand our God Phil's suffering, but they just don't understand. So doing even more for us low-level human scumbags, he pays the bills. Truly it's a sacrifice worthy of praise. And he does it all. For you.

I'll be honest I got tired of typing this at this point. Imagine I finished with a joke on taxes and detractors. That's about it. Have a spooky Halloween, all.
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The whole time I was reading you describe Dave's daily routine, and picturing him doing it, I was hearing the Rocky theme play in my head... Da-dun-daaa, Da-dun-daaa... oh great, now this post is gonna get content ID'd... listen I really need you guy's help...

Edit: rob warren just tipped dave $10 and said "I just got a new joystick for my chair, now I can drive it again"... hmmm

Edit edit: then immediately afterwards that asshole tut comes along and knocks the poor cripple off the whoreboard with a $20 tip.
 
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what do you think is the most disgusting thing phil has done? to me it was him jacking it and not even cleaning and washing himself, just straight to streaming for hours.

you can probably smell the stench of phil a block away
 
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gaarashatan said:
what do you think is the most disgusting thing phil has done? to me it was him jacking it and not even cleaning and washing himself, just straight to streaming for hours.

you can probably smell the stench of phil a block away
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I've seen a lot of stuff on the internet so it takes quite a bit to actually disgust me.

I guess dropping the toast on his dirty kitchen floor and eating it was pretty gross.

The first shower video.

The second shower video.

Getting hacked and the hackers finding his Brazzers account. (Because crying poor and begging for money and then paying for internet porn)

The authentic Italian sauce.
 
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Sparkletor said:
I've seen a lot of stuff on the internet so it takes quite a bit to actually disgust me.

I guess dropping the toast on his dirty kitchen floor and eating it was pretty gross.

The first shower video.

The second shower video.

Getting hacked and the hackers finding his Brazzers account. (Because crying poor and begging for money and then paying for internet porn)

The authentic Italian sauce.
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i didnt know he had a brazzers account, free porn wont do it for phil, he needs premium porn!

RobVC3 said:
The hospital incident.
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with leanna and that ordeal?
 
RobVC3 said:
That would be the one. It's one thing doing what he does on the daily, it's another thing broadcasting personal things like this over the internet about someone he 'loved' at the time, and especially how he handled everything about it.
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i was not surprised by his actions, he saw his chance to play the victim card and took it. like he always does. hes worse than jerry smith (cmon season 4)

so to me, he handled it exactly how i imagined he would. and this was probably the turning point for leanna. she finally woke up and realized phil doesn't care about her, at least not without making it an ordeal to his tiny fanbase. i cant imagine the life she had, couldn't even have a proper meal without him filming himself and handing her the camera.
 
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gaarashatan said:
what do you think is the most disgusting thing phil has done?
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Probably not the worst but telling everyone his swating was just a minor inconvenience that in no way hurt him, then realizing he could use it to garner sympathy and make money off it, then turning around and telling detractors they almost got him killed was pretty bad.
Moving the horse with the money that was supposed to be for his taxes was pretty gross too.
The hospital thing probably does take the top spot though... and turning his facecam on when his prestream ends.
 
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RobVC3 said:
That would be the one. It's one thing doing what he does on the daily, it's another thing broadcasting personal things like this over the internet about someone he 'loved' at the time, and especially how he handled everything about it.
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I am of the opinion that they were already broken up when the hospital thing happened. Leanna was done with Phil, but he was not done with her. That is why he referred to her as his girlfriend and fiance. He was hoping she would change her mind and stay. I also imagine he was playing mind games with her to try and accomplish this i.e. paying for her phone and letting her drive the BMW. Maybe telling her how she's ruining her life by leaving him and how she will never do better than him or something along those lines. This could have given her added stress and helped bring about an anxiety attack. But that's just my opinion.
 
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