DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Wing Zero]

View attachment 578181

seen two people mention this
is this real? please tell me phil isn't this stupid

He's considering getting that for that sub-goal DSP Tries It, under the condition he can get off his lazy ass long enough to drive to Burger King.

Edit: Sorry, i'm an idiot. I only just noticed the stream overlay. I thought you were asking if he was dumb enough to buy the burger.

 

[Sparkletor]

Phil is going to need to get 10,000 views to be able to recoup the cost on that sandwich.

 

[Agent Proper]

He's considering getting that for that sub-goal DSP Tries It, under the condition he can get off his lazy ass long enough to drive to Burger King.

You mean the goal he has put to the side for months? I would be surprised to see him make it out of his house to drive the 10 minutes to Burger King just to give us some lip smacking ASMR for 10 minutes, While he tries to not show the other bag of greasy food and the large drink on film.

 

[notquiteaperson]

My favorite bit of dave-esque commentary so far: he looks at chat and says "someone said there's something written in the middle of the lake. He goes to lake and finds the writing and says "huuuh... what is this? Has anyone ever found this before?"
No dave, I think you're the first, I guess you just have a sixth sense for these things.

 

[Surly Muppet]

So Phil just tried a door that didn't open. The owner subsequently came out in a cutscene and Phil killed him, then left. Chat started telling him to go back and loot the house and Phil started going on about how he already did, it was locked, and to knock it off. He then said 'Fine, I'll prove it to you!' He went back, and lo and behold, the door opened. His response. "Oh. What? That's stupid, it doesn't make sense."

For a guy who rattles on about being a logical human, he couldn't fathom how this worked. The guy in the cutscene had to unlock the door to come out and get shot, meaning the door was now open. Literal logic. No apology to chat, no concession that any of this made sense. Just several assertions that the game was dumb. Chat was blasting him, he looked at it, said nothing. God gamer.

 

[gaarashatan]

He's considering getting that for that sub-goal DSP Tries It, under the condition he can get off his lazy ass long enough to drive to Burger King.

Edit: Sorry, i'm an idiot. I only just noticed the stream overlay. I thought you were asking if he was dumb enough to buy the burger.

probably have khet pick it up for him on her way home LOL

 

[PenisMuncher23]

So Phil just tried a door that didn't open. The owner subsequently came out in a cutscene and Phil killed him, then left. Chat started telling him to go back and loot the house and Phil started going on about how he already did, it was locked, and to knock it off. He then said 'Fine, I'll prove it to you!' He went back, and lo and behold, the door opened. His response. "Oh. What? That's stupid, it doesn't make sense."

For a guy who rattles on about being a logical human, he couldn't fathom how this worked. The guy in the cutscene had to unlock the door to come out and get shot, meaning the door was now open. Literal logic. No apology to chat, no concession that any of this made sense. Just several assertions that the game was dumb. Chat was blasting him, he looked at it, said nothing. God gamer.

He still can't comprehend how the door was locked and then unlocked. He's not very bright.

 

[Sparkletor]

probably have khet pick it up for him on her way home LOL

Kat brought home Burger King but she smells like fried chicken...

 

[ZehnBoat]

He's considering getting that for that sub-goal DSP Tries It, under the condition he can get off his lazy ass long enough to drive to Burger King.

i know that, but why is it just a screen shot of the online menu?
he can just have one of his fans make a special picture announcing it

he wont do it anyway

Phil is going to need to get 10,000 views to be able to recoup the cost on that sandwich.

of course
do you know how much work it would take

Spoiler

he's got to:
wake up
take a shower
brush his teeth
put on clean clothes
walk to his car
get in his car
turn on his car
drive without his glasses
pushing pedals and turning a wheel
stop next to a speaker box
open his mouth and talk
sweat buckets and hope they have the food
listen to other people who aren't giving you money(the second hardest thing)
drive up a bit
lean over to give people money (the hardest thing)
drive up a bit more
lean over to grab a bag of food
drive home
tolerate people's criticism of his driving (muh depression)
park the car
leave the car
hope those evil mentally ill child detractors didn't follow him his gated community
hope his neighbor wont yell at him
walk into the house
pick up a camera
start filming
talk as he films
pull out food from bag
open containers
open mouth
put food in mouth
chew multiple times
swallow
think for once in his life
talk again
stop filming
upload to youtube
drink gin

more back breaking and strenuous than any other job ever, alaskan crab fishing is a dream compared to the constant pain of dark's life.

My favorite bit of dave-esque commentary so far: he looks at chat and says "someone said there's something written in the middle of the lake. He goes to lake and finds the writing and says "huuuh... what is this? Has anyone ever found this before?"
No dave, I think you're the first, I guess you just have a sixth sense for these things.

it's getting to the point he's going to claim he found and invented everything

 

[gaarashatan]

Kat brought home Burger King but she smells like fried chicken...

maybe with a hint of watermelon and a stain of grape juice on her shirt



edit: now i feel racist lol

 

[Surly Muppet]

According to Phil, for a period of his life, he was 'Mr.Nice Guy' and got used by a lot of women. He did nice things for them and then got 'friend zoned'. Good God.

I don't know where this falls on the timeline where the hot Latina was after him, when he wanted to bang his 3rd grade nun/teacher, when he was depressed and on the cocktail of medication... what a diverse, relatable and entirely not-fictional life our boy Dave has led.

 

[notquiteaperson]

more back breaking and strenuous than any other job ever, alaskan crab fishing is a dream compared to the constant pain of dark's life.

"The deadliest couch"

 

[PenisMuncher23]

According to Phil, for a period of his life, he was 'Mr.Nice Guy' and got used by a lot of women. He did nice things for them and then got 'friend zoned'. Good God.
I don't know where this falls on the timeline where the hot Latina was after him, when he wanted to bang his 3rd grade nun/teacher, when he was depressed and on the cocktail of medication...

I bet it was his 3rd grade teacher who led him on by congratulating him on getting a question right, and then friendzoned him when she told him she wasn't interested in dating an 8 year old.

 

[gaarashatan]

According to Phil, for a period of his life, he was 'Mr.Nice Guy' and got used by a lot of women. He did nice things for them and then got 'friend zoned'. Good God.
I don't know where this falls on the timeline where the hot Latina was after him, when he wanted to bang his 3rd grade nun/teacher, when he was depressed and on the cocktail of medication...

i can see it, phil does give off that neckbeard aura. and he currently is getting used by a woman LOL

 

[Surly Muppet]

Phil seems to be of the opinion that so long as he writes it in his stream chat, he can say whatever he wants. He said some stuff in the chat for his inactive stream during the E3 conferences (that he 'wasn't live reacting to') that, had his stream been live and they were said out loud, probably would have gone nuclear. He'll also write inflammatory stuff in the chat while streaming instead of saying it out loud. I guess it spreads less effectively than a sound clip, but it fits with Phil's MO of needing to run his mouth when he thinks he is in a safe spot to do so.

 

[Wing Zero]

Phil seems to be of the opinion that so long as he writes it in his stream chat, he can say whatever he wants. He said some stuff in the chat for his inactive stream during the E3 conferences (that he 'wasn't live reacting to') that, had his stream been live and they were said out loud, probably would have gone nuclear. He'll also write inflammatory stuff in the chat while streaming instead of saying it out loud. I guess it spreads less effectively than a sound clip, but it fits with Phil's MO of needing to run his mouth when he thinks he is in a safe spot to do so.

Which begs the question of why he's stupid enough to keep running his mouth in any format when he damn well knows anything he says is gonna be captured, archived, and probably sent to whoever would be offended by the mouth-running. It's ironic for a guy with the thinnest skin on the internet to keep relying on the people he keeps insulting to have thicker skin than him.

 

[gaarashatan]

Phil seems to be of the opinion that so long as he writes it in his stream chat, he can say whatever he wants. He said some stuff in the chat for his inactive stream during the E3 conferences (that he 'wasn't live reacting to') that, had his stream been live and they were said out loud, probably would have gone nuclear. He'll also write inflammatory stuff in the chat while streaming instead of saying it out loud. I guess it spreads less effectively than a sound clip, but it fits with Phil's MO of needing to run his mouth when he thinks he is in a safe spot to do so.

lol, phil always talks about people insulting him, and how they wouldnt say that to his face. yet here he is, afraid to even say it. has to type it XD

Which begs the question of why he's stupid enough to keep running his mouth in any format when he damn well knows anything he says is gonna be captured, archived, and probably sent to whoever would be offended by the mouth-running. It's ironic for a guy with the thinnest skin on the internet to keep relying on the people he keeps insulting to have thicker skin than him.

ive always wondered about this, he always talks about keeping a positive place, and yadda yadda blah blah bullshit. and yet whenever you look at him. hes always just bitching and making excuses about a game or crying about detractor shit.

my theory is that, he has to, cause if he did make sure a place come true. where everyone focused on the game and him, and just had fun. they would realize just how unfun phil really is, no attention span in a game, no skill, and no care for its story or the game itself.

phil talks about staying away from drama, but he doesnt know how to live without it

 

[WeeblesWobble]

When he says keeping it positive what he means is
1.Don't say anything negative about HIM
2.Don't say anything negative about the whales
3.Don't say anything negative about the game, unless he is also shitting on it
4. Give him money.

Everything else is open season. Mention PewdiePie or someone getting a game early and he goes into attack mode shitting on that person and then he can't stop so he inevitably starts going on about other people. That's positivity to him.

 

[N0thingICanDo]

AKA

let me translate the Pigroachish to English

"I was playing extremely boring with riding around wasting time because CHAT didn't handhold me, I mean they did but I didn't see it until the end because they didn't CHEER or TIP when they handheld me, okay? I didn't do anything wrong, there's nothing I can do!"

 

[Zaryiu]

He's trying to get people to get angry at him, right? Maybe not conscientiously but he's doing it