r/polyamory

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https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/...y_hes_mono_we_cant_find_middle_ground_doomed/

A pre-emptive :feels: for that poor guy once his heart gets broken by his scumbag fiancée, especially if she follow's this twat's advice:

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Feline Companion said:
imagine breaking up with your fiancee just because you want to FLIRT WITH OTHER PEOPLE, why even get this far with a person just to break their heart. these people have no value for relationships, they're like horny teenagers but wont acknowledge it
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If she's admitting to flirting, she's probably actually going much further than that.
 
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Alpha Loves You said:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/9o103x/my_relationship_fell_apart/

And people still think poly relationships are a good idea
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Unbelievable. The guy is doing nothing but blaming himself when it's his whore girlfriend who fucked a mentally ill girl's husband and then decided her feelings about the shiny new thing were more important than a ten year relationship or the other girl.
What's sad is if not for the veneer of "poly" this shit would clearly be just as I described it and everyone would realize how completely socially unacceptable it is. But instead we get people beating themselves up for no reason.
 
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That documentary was pretty interesting, and I always love how Louis always probes people with difficult questions. Hard to watch Jerry as he was obviously uncomfortable. Also I found all the talk of " I'm not responsible for their emotions/selves" pretty disingenuous, especially considering they married under that very principle.
 
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It is superficially true that one is not fully responsible for others' feelings, but there is such a thing as reasonably anticipable consequences of one's actions. These people want to :autism: their way out of that in order to do as they like in the moment. Swine, bears, seals behave this way, but none of those species have created durable communities.
 
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"Not responsible for their feelings" is another malappropriated therapist-ism. That's what they tell innocent people when they're stuck dealing with bpd/narc assholes who manipulate others by having abnormal emotional responses, i.e. adult toddler meltdowns. It was never meant to mean that you can treat your partner like shit, and it's their fault for having a normal reaction to it.
 
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Alpha Loves You said:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/...y_hes_mono_we_cant_find_middle_ground_doomed/

A pre-emptive :feels: for that poor guy once his heart gets broken by his scumbag fiancée, especially if she follow's this twat's advice:

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You gotta love the advice she gets. Act like a huge, selfish jerk to a guy that loves you because he needs to understand that if he's gonna be with you he's gonna get cucked and like it. Someone needs to tell the boyfriend that he deserves better than this bitch. Because she's going to drive a stake through his heart sooner than later.

Stop babying him? Yeah because other people's feelings don't matter. All that matters is your right to cuck your boyfriend over and over again and he better learn to like it.:roll:

Pray to God that this ho doesn't get knocked up. A kid does not need to be in the middle of these things.
 
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AprilRains said:
It is superficially true that one is not fully responsible for others' feelings, but there is such a thing as reasonably anticipable consequences of one's actions. These people want to :autism: their way out of that in order to do as they like in the moment. Swine, bears, seals behave this way, but none of those species have created durable communities.
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Do they apply this maxim to their friendships and familial relationships too? Would they say 'hey, I think infertility jokes are hilarious, and if Aunt Joanne doesn't like it, she doesn't have to come to Thanksgiving next year, 'cause I'm not responsible for her feelings'? Would they bring beer to every friend group hang out even though Sam's a recovering alcoholic, 'cause they're not responsible for his feelings? If so, that's a really awful way to go throughout life.

edit: It feels very childish to me. Little kids can be assholes because they don't know better. But hopefully they learn to not be one, either through adults correcting them or because they see other people's reactions. Poly people really are just incapable of understanding human social interaction.
 
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Crunchy Leaf said:
Do they apply this maxim to their friendships and familial relationships too?
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I talked about some poly people I've seen in the wild earlier in this thread, and yes, they treat family and friends just as poorly. The ones I knew dropped family members for ridiculous reasons. They would just find a new person to try and fill whatever void existed in their lives from going no contact with family and friends. Polyamory seems to require an endless supply of new people to use up and dump.
 
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