Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Iron Father]

What the fuck, she has two elbows.



Edit: sorry I was so freaked out about her elbows that I had to make a post and missed the dozens of people already pointing this out lmao.

 

[12 Inch Taint]

Her selling point was the non fatty face and semblance of cheekbones that she now paints on ( totally agreeing with multiverse). I think her age is a huge factor here, too. Quite a few models can still pull off work past 30, but it does require some effort and looking after yourself. She hasn't aged well, her look hasn't really changed (same poses, same whitetrash pin up esque look, same hair), she doesn't bring any exciting hype with her any longer. She has sized herself out of pretty much all work but the occasional print campaign.

(I'm not a Kate Moss fan girl but she's probably the best example of a model who has aged her style very well--always her 'distinct' look in the style of that moment, always current)

 

[multiverse]

She hasn't aged well, her look hasn't really changed (same poses, same whitetrash pin up esque look, same hair), she doesn't bring any exciting hype with her any longer. She has sized herself out of pretty much all work but the occasional print campaign.

And it's not just the super morbid obesity, nor the bad skin, nor the face ruined with waaaaaay too many injectables. Her entire body being covered in tattoos eliminates her from job even if she sized herself back into "small fat" sizes like 18-20. Her skin is going to hang, they're going to be stretched out, and most clients don't want such a distraction when the model is there to sell the clothes, not the other way around.

Even if she lost weight, even if she got skin surgery: her face would still be awful if she gave up most of the injectables now (it deflates like crazy once you start doing fillers), and her tattoos would always hold her back.

Her only chance was making it as a "personality", which M.ilk tried to spin her as with lots of daytime TV guest spots, but she's not witty or funny, she's very poorly educated, she's not interested in other people so she can't interview, and the only topics she's well-versed in are: herself, her hashtag, and 1-2 lines about how "all bodies are beautiful". That's it. Thats' all she had. She got one round of all the big shows, and some little ones, and no invites back.

I wonder if that dentist would ever give her the old receptionist job back?

 

[Particle Bored]

I'm sure Jane Fonda, workout queen of the 80s and long time political activist, was thoroughly impressed that you used this opportunity to squelch around in your overdone outfit, hair and makeup, and pretend to work. She was thinking exactly what we were thinking: what a fat, lazy, self-serving cow.

 

[LoveYouLongTime]

And it's not just the super morbid obesity, nor the bad skin, nor the face ruined with waaaaaay too many injectables. Her entire body being covered in tattoos eliminates her from job even if she sized herself back into "small fat" sizes like 18-20. Her skin is going to hang, they're going to be stretched out, and most clients don't want such a distraction when the model is there to sell the clothes, not the other way around.

Even if she lost weight, even if she got skin surgery: her face would still be awful if she gave up most of the injectables now (it deflates like crazy once you start doing fillers), and her tattoos would always hold her back.

Her only chance was making it as a "personality", which M.ilk tried to spin her as with lots of daytime TV guest spots, but she's not witty or funny, she's very poorly educated, she's not interested in other people so she can't interview, and the only topics she's well-versed in are: herself, her hashtag, and 1-2 lines about how "all bodies are beautiful". That's it. Thats' all she had. She got one round of all the big shows, and some little ones, and no invites back.

I wonder if that dentist would ever give her the old receptionist job back?

She should try capitalizing her tattoos and orbital girth by starting up a fatty version of SuicideGirls. That way, when she inevitably looks too awful to market herself to feeders, she can capitalize off other dwarf planets.

 

[pinkbutterfly]

@multiverse At this point, anyone who books her is complicit. It's blatantly obvious the message she proclaims isn't honest and she demands more than any other model to smooth and squish and fake her way as near to "beauty standards" as she can get.

Fuck your beauty standards!

Except the make-up, that one makes my skin look nicer. And hang on, I need quite a lot of it to fake cheekbones. Can you airbrush out some of my leg fat? Shapewear - that's fine, right? It doesn't make me look skinny, just skinnier, so it doesn't count. Which filter are we using for the Instagram post? Can we change the lighting and angle to hide-- I mean, t0 express my personality better?

 

[Candidae]

Fuck your beauty standards!

Except the make-up, that one makes my skin look nicer. And hang on, I need quite a lot of it to fake cheekbones. Can you airbrush out some of my leg fat? Shapewear - that's fine, right? It doesn't make me look skinny, just skinnier, so it doesn't count. Which filter are we using for the Instagram post? Can we change the lighting and angle to hide-- I mean, t0 express my personality better?

That's what gets me the most about this girl. She literally follows all beauty standards with the exception of maintaining a particular physique for the sake of gluttony . Not even minor gluttony too because of how large she is.
She isn't a girl going "fuck shaving my legs, men don't have to and all this effort is dumb for a particular aesthetic", she's going "I wanna eat like a pig until I blow up to disgustingly unhealthy levels of fat which takes more effort than eating a bit less". She isn't an activist taking pictures of herself on her off days or a photoshoot normalising natural body types with maybe a touch of fat, she's forcing her way into a corporate industry designed to sell clothes and is demanding to be part of the system. Nothing ~radical~ about that. She's not even a model refusing to take jobs which will touch her up like Aerie (though they still only pick beautiful girls for their untouched pictures). She's not even in the level of that beauty YouTuber from a while back who refuses to use foundation to cover up her freckles and got mad when a makeup company she had an eye palette with airbrushed her freckles away.
Tess will make no positive impact on the beauty industry's impossible beauty standards, but she has no intention to do so anyways

 

[SnarkySperg]

She pisses me off so much. She claims to love her body and fuck you if you don't, but she lies. I will NEVER believe she's a 22. If she loves her body so much, why won't she admit her true size? Most women (the ones who don't look like whales that is) will proudly tout 'Well I'm an 8!' because they're proud of their body. If you go to certain clothing websites, the models have their height and size listed. Forever21 for example. It'll say 'model is 5'11" and wearing a Small' below the pictures. I understand the frustration that modeling places will model girls who are 'plus size' who are on the lower limit (Ashley Graham is definitely not fat and I'm sure most people who consider themselves overweight wish they had her body). Aerie brags that they don't Photoshop their models, but their models don't need it. They might have a slightly flabby stomach, but that's it. Even the models they've been featuring with 'imperfections' are still model gorgeous. So I do get the desire to have overweight models that are actually overweight. But there is a balance between a size 16 and a size 26.

 

[rocknrollmartian]

Her selling point was the non fatty face and semblance of cheekbones that she now paints on ( totally agreeing with multiverse). I think her age is a huge factor here, too. Quite a few models can still pull off work past 30, but it does require some effort and looking after yourself. She hasn't aged well, her look hasn't really changed (same poses, same whitetrash pin up esque look, same hair), she doesn't bring any exciting hype with her any longer. She has sized herself out of pretty much all work but the occasional print campaign.

(I'm not a Kate Moss fan girl but she's probably the best example of a model who has aged her style very well--always her 'distinct' look in the style of that moment, always current)

I actually am a Kate Moss fangirl and am sad to report that Kate's definitely gone round the bend. She requires as much shopping as Tess these days, albeit she's 10 years older and has done far more cocaine:

If Tess really thinks she can bank on being a model or even an "influencer" ad infinitum, she's even stupider than her signature slack-jawed looks suggests.

 

[Dysnomia]

The day before the election, Tess participated in an event titled "Telethon for America", where C and D list 'celebs' came to work the phone lines for a get out the vote effort. Oh, and Tess was there.

And boy oh boy, did her Z-list, no-name, fat ass stand out. You see, while everyone else showed up in casual clothing, no makeup or hair done, ready to sit in a garage and do regular work at a political phone bank, Tess decided this was an opportunity to shine.

So she showed up like a drag queen going out the club: hair extensions teased up to the max, overfilled and over lined lips, slutty dress, multiple pairs of fake eyelashes, and all the Spanx she could squeeze into.

The other attendees (see Tess shoved into the far corner - note the difference in her clothing and appearance compared to others):
View attachment 586713 View attachment 586714 View attachment 586715

And this is what Tess looked like:
View attachment 586716 View attachment 586717

She was livestreaming, and clearly had an assistant shooting her, so people would see her next to more famous people. No one else was using this is as self promotion, but Tess wanted to name drop and pose:
View attachment 586718 View attachment 586720 View attachment 586721

She hired a crew to prepare for this like is was a fucking red carpet event:
View attachment 586723

And tried to squeeze her way into photos, looking utterly desperate as well as massively out of place in more ways than one:
View attachment 586724

I'm sure Jane Fonda, workout queen of the 80s and long time political activist, was thoroughly impressed that you used this opportunity to squelch around in your overdone outfit, hair and makeup, and pretend to work. She was thinking exactly what we were thinking: what a fat, lazy, self-serving cow.

Every time I see that stupid nose ring I think about how it makes Tess look even more like livestock than normal.

She really does look like a drag queen in those photos. Everyone else is casual. But Tess decided to show them up by waltzing in like a painted up sow.

What the fuck, she has two elbows.

View attachment 587213

Edit: sorry I was so freaked out about her elbows that I had to make a post and missed the dozens of people already pointing this out lmao.

It's a totally normal reaction. We all get shocked by her false joints. Her knees and elbows are eldritch horrors no mortal man should ever have to lay eyes on.

 

[Tiny Clanger]

And it's not just the super morbid obesity, nor the bad skin, nor the face ruined with waaaaaay too many injectables. Her entire body being covered in tattoos eliminates her from job even if she sized herself back into "small fat" sizes like 18-20. Her skin is going to hang, they're going to be stretched out, and most clients don't want such a distraction when the model is there to sell the clothes, not the other way around.

I think the tats are going to be her excuse - and points on the oppression scale - for when she can't get even the low-rent crappy jobs she's recently scored. Since M.ilk dumped her I'm sure that all the big agencies are feverishly working on their bids to ensure they snatch this once-in-a-lifetime chance to sign the bestest soopamoddle eva. That high-stakes contract is coming her way soon....any day now....just dotting the i's....

I think her last real campaign was Eloquii, and not only did she completely shaft them on sizing, but the photos were all about Ten-Ton, not the clothes. I've got no problem with tats, but when you have two life-sized heads on one hamhock and room for three more it doesn't just distract from the actual clothing, it makes items like evening gowns look ridiculous.

She epitomises the old saw about taking the girl out of the trailer park. Only in this case, she ate it.

 

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

I wonder if that dentist would ever give her the old receptionist job back?

Doubtful. I don't think a dentist's office has the budget for buying new extra-reinforced chairs every three months.

She should try capitalizing her tattoos and orbital girth by starting up a fatty version of SuicideGirls. That way, when she inevitably looks too awful to market herself to feeders, she can capitalize off other dwarf planets.

Suicide [By Eating] Girls

 

[12 Inch Taint]

I actually am a Kate Moss fangirl and am sad to report that Kate's definitely gone round the bend. .

Ooof. What a shame; i know she was (not sure if still is) a heavy smoker alongside the drinking and nose candy. Her face is wanked. She still dresses and turns out very well.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Her selling point was the non fatty face and semblance of cheekbones that she now paints on ( totally agreeing with multiverse). I think her age is a huge factor here, too. Quite a few models can still pull off work past 30, but it does require some effort and looking after yourself. She hasn't aged well, her look hasn't really changed (same poses, same whitetrash pin up esque look, same hair), she doesn't bring any exciting hype with her any longer. She has sized herself out of pretty much all work but the occasional print campaign.

(I'm not a Kate Moss fan girl but she's probably the best example of a model who has aged her style very well--always her 'distinct' look in the style of that moment, always current)

The trouble is that while you can be a bigger model or an older model or an alt chick model, but Tess wants to be all three while not being a good example of any of them.

 

[Iron Father]

It's a totally normal reaction. We all get shocked by her false joints. Her knees and elbows are eldritch horrors no mortal man should ever have to lay eyes on.

Her limbs are the old god trees from Game of Thrones.

 

[Flawmil]

Tess making a tragedy all about herself.

 

[multiverse]

Tess making a tragedy all about herself.

Domestic violence is not the same as a mass shooting you fucking twit. And neither has anything to do with you.

 

[Tesshollidaysflupaknees]

She could of made that post without the Domestic violence stuff, but Tess always has to mention it for pity points.

 

[JambledUpWords]

She could of made that post without the Domestic violence stuff, but Tess always has to mention it for pity points.

What other things does Tess talk about in interviews that don’t involve effyourbeautystandards, fat acceptance, fashion, domestic violence or a social justice cause of the day? She seems to be devoid of a personality that is engaging.

 

[PatTraverse]

What other things does Tess talk about in interviews that don’t involve effyourbeautystandards, fat acceptance, fashion, domestic violence or a social justice cause of the day? She seems to be devoid of a personality that is engaging.

Most people involved with fat acceptance are exactly like Tess.They partly use the cause as a way to try to hide the fact that their lives revolves around food and otherwise have nothing to talk about.