The Retail Horror Thread 2: More Tales to Chill your Bones

[ADN_VIII]

I picked up part time work in a deli run by a sweet older couple. Bless their hearts, they're the absolute best. Pay under the table and they let me keep any cash a customer hands me for tips.


But that's not the horrible thing. My town is home to a JW mission hall, a mormon temple, and like three evangelist churches. I don't mean evangelist in the "garden variety baptists" way either. I mean the "will ambush you on the street and threaten you with hell if you don't follow Jesus" type. So my customer base can sometimes be a bit weird. Lately I've heard from other retail workers in the area that someone has been leaving around those fake 20s with Ray Comfort style evangelist malarkey on the inside. The Mobil station down the street has a sign declaring that being caught leaving them around will result in being banned from the premises.

So the other day I made a church group a pile of sandwiches. Like, 50+ dollars in sandwiches. And the guy who paid hands me a 5 as a tip. It disappears into my apron, because there's a line, and I get to work on the next customer's order. It took me about ten minutes to get through the line and discover that the 5 was a bunch of evangelist crap. I was genuinely steamed since if they're passing them out to non tipped workers, that means they're passing them out to tipped workers as well. And lets face it, passing out fake tips makes you an asshole like no tomorrow.

 

[Water-T]

So the other day I made a church group a pile of sandwiches. Like, 50+ dollars in sandwiches. And the guy who paid hands me a 5 as a tip. It disappears into my apron, because there's a line, and I get to work on the next customer's order. It took me about ten minutes to get through the line and discover that the 5 was a bunch of evangelist crap. I was genuinely steamed since if they're passing them out to non tipped workers, that means they're passing them out to tipped workers as well. And lets face it, passing out fake tips makes you an asshole like no tomorrow.

Go to their church and drop all the fake "tips" you can find in their donation box. Let them see how they like that shit.

 

[Adamska]

I picked up part time work in a deli run by a sweet older couple. Bless their hearts, they're the absolute best. Pay under the table and they let me keep any cash a customer hands me for tips.


But that's not the horrible thing. My town is home to a JW mission hall, a mormon temple, and like three evangelist churches. I don't mean evangelist in the "garden variety baptists" way either. I mean the "will ambush you on the street and threaten you with hell if you don't follow Jesus" type. So my customer base can sometimes be a bit weird. Lately I've heard from other retail workers in the area that someone has been leaving around those fake 20s with Ray Comfort style evangelist malarkey on the inside. The Mobil station down the street has a sign declaring that being caught leaving them around will result in being banned from the premises.

So the other day I made a church group a pile of sandwiches. Like, 50+ dollars in sandwiches. And the guy who paid hands me a 5 as a tip. It disappears into my apron, because there's a line, and I get to work on the next customer's order. It took me about ten minutes to get through the line and discover that the 5 was a bunch of evangelist crap. I was genuinely steamed since if they're passing them out to non tipped workers, that means they're passing them out to tipped workers as well. And lets face it, passing out fake tips makes you an asshole like no tomorrow.

Yeah, my experience is with groups like these are they're ungrateful bags of shit who just waste table space by treating the place as a little club after church, tend to be stingy with what they buy, and don't tend to tip but will give you their hateful little strips of newspaper. Pretty much expected it the moment you brought up that they do the pamphlet thing.

For extra comedy, leave an unmarked pamphlet decrying them of refusing to be charitable next time they come in if you know their regular table.

 

[ADN_VIII]

Yeah, my experience is with groups like these are they're ungrateful bags of shit who just waste table space by treating the place as a little club after church, tend to be stingy with what they buy, and don't tend to tip but will give you their hateful little strips of newspaper. Pretty much expected it the moment you brought up that they do the pamphlet thing.

For extra comedy, leave an unmarked pamphlet decrying them of refusing to be charitable next time they come in if you know their regular table.

They don't have a table since it's a take out deli. When you buy a sandwich i wrap it in paper and hand it to you to take to the register.

 

[Adamska]

They don't have a table since it's a take out deli. When you buy a sandwich i wrap it in paper and hand it to you to take to the register.

Damn, so they'll know it's you then. Oh well, just refuse to take their fake money or hell maybe try to get them into hot water for it since it's a very scummy move even for a fundie. Most just give you a real pamphlet, not fake money that is one.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

Each time I hear of people doing this, I feel an increasing urge to slap each of them with a Bible, preferably of the every-single-tiny-thing-is-illustrated, coffee table-sized kind.

 

[neverendingmidi]

Each time I hear of people doing this, I feel an increasing urge to slap each of them with a Bible, preferably of the every-single-tiny-thing-is-illustrated, coffee table-sized kind.

Something like this:

 

[ADN_VIII]

Each time I hear of people doing this, I feel an increasing urge to slap each of them with a Bible, preferably of the every-single-tiny-thing-is-illustrated, coffee table-sized kind.

I should introduce you to my aunt's coffee table, which has a lectern sized bible literally built into the surface.

 

[AF 802]

TFW work forgets to enter your hours into Kronos and you have to go in-person on your day off to get hours.

 

[Dysnomia]

Ok I can't stand it anymore. Walmart needs to enforce some hygiene standards on the pajeets stocking the shelves. They should be told "wear deodorant or don't bother coming in". The smell is vile and really really strong. I did complain here about it before. But it has become worse because it seems almost every shelf stocker now is a pajeet or a Mexican and no one seems to understand the value of deodorant. Mainly the pajeets. Every aisle smells like an hour long trip on a bus with a broken AC in July. I was literally gagging while shopping.

Can I complain or is it useless?Like how do you even do that? What would you say? Yeah. I don't think I can bring myself to do it. But why don't they wear deodorant? Are they really ok smelling like neanderthals?

 

[CWCissey]

Ok I can't stand it anymore. Walmart needs to enforce some hygiene standards on the pajeets stocking the shelves. They should be told "wear deodorant or don't bother coming in". The smell is vile and really really strong. I did complain here about it before. But it has become worse because it seems almost every shelf stocker now is a pajeet or a Mexican and no one seems to understand the value of deodorant. Mainly the pajeets. Every aisle smells like an hour long trip on a bus with a broken AC in July. I was literally gagging while shopping.

Can I complain or is it useless?Like how do you even do that? What would you say? Yeah. I don't think I can bring myself to do it. But why don't they wear deodorant? Are they really ok smelling like neanderthals?

You have to keep complaining, and get others to complain too until the store realises that customers really aren't happy with it.

Failing that, shop elsewhere. Simple as.

 

[AF 802]

You have to keep complaining, and get others to complain too until the store realises that customers really aren't happy with it.

Failing that, shop elsewhere. Simple as.

I know retail well, and they won't do anything. Retail management is basically a clique and won't give a shit unless you ass-kiss up to them, that's why I put up with a lot of abuse, because I know management won't do shit if I go to them. Done it before and they just told me to deal with it, while others get action done.

Unfortunate that stores don't really have unions anymore, otherwise you could go there.

 

[CWCissey]

I know retail well, and they won't do anything. Retail management is basically a clique and won't give a shit unless you ass-kiss up to them, that's why I put up with a lot of abuse, because I know management won't do shit if I go to them. Done it before and they just told me to deal with it, while others get action done.

Unfortunate that stores don't really have unions anymore, otherwise you could go there.

Dysnomia was talking about the workers at WalMart. Not other customers. The company will clamp down on stuff if enough people object, even they're not so stupid to hate money like that.

 

[AA 102]

A decade ago when I was but a lowly high schooler I worked for this local bakery that specialized in making dog treats. The owner was a nut who was in his late 50's to mid 60's. He listened to Rush Limbaugh 24/7 and would mention the "gay mafia" to me at least once a week. He would sell his treats at a farmer's market (they always sold pretty well actually) every week. Despite having a "company van" (aka a 2001 Honda Accord), he would make me drive to the farmer's market every week with my car and never covered gas. Most of the time I had to go the to market alone and set up and pack by myself, but once in a blue moon he would tag along in his "van". My car constantly smelled like dog treats. He was just loud and obnoxious all the time. He'd yell at his computer constantly when customers weren't around and he would argue with his wife in Russian in front of customers. His wife was a sweet old lady and never treated me badly. But that's not where the horror comes in.

See, he made dog treats for dogs with allergies to different things, which was why his stuff always sold so well. Apparently he was the only guy in the area that did this so he monopolized that niche market. But this guy was a dumbass who didn't understand how gluten worked. Sometimes dogs can have a legit gluten allergy and this guy would use regular flour in his "gluten-free" dog treats. Why did he do this you may ask? Because, "the flour is really finely ground so it doesn't have gluten in it." When I asked him why he said something along the lines of the gluten being destroyed in super finely ground flour. I'm sure most of the people buying the gluten-free dog treats were just health nuts that bought into the whole "gluten is bad" and I always thought those were the returning customers. There were a fair amount of non-returning customers though and I figured they were the ones who owned the dogs with legit gluten allergies who fed their dogs those "gluten-free" treats.

On the rare occasion the farmer's market didn't sell well (usually because of the weather) he'd yell at me for being a bad employee. He payed well (and maybe under the table ) and the hours were super flexible so I put up with it for about 6 months before just calling it quits. The straw that broke the camel's back was when it started to rain during a farmer's market. People left, meaning poor sales. The stand we had at the market had a tent over it but it was still a 150ft walk to my car and involved multiple trips. I packed up at the end of my shift (it was still raining) and headed back. I was wet and cold and he still yelled at me for the poor sales. I just had enough at that point and casually walked right past him, out the door, and went home. Never came back, didn't even put in a notice. About a week later he hired some other poor high schooler and from what I remember they only worked there for about two weeks before they disappeared and another poor soul took their place. A few years later his shop either closed or changed locations.

EDIT: Fixed formatting
EDIT 2: I learned how to spell

 

[drtoboggan]

Go to their church and drop all the fake "tips" you can find in their donation box. Let them see how they like that shit.

I wish I still worked for tips so I could do exactly this. And steal the real money.

 

[Water-T]

I worked for this local bakery that specialized in making dog threats

So you made cakes that said, "I'M COMING TO FUCK YOUR SHIT UP, FIDO" or "YOU'RE GONNA GET YOURS, MR. FLOOFYKINS"?

 

[Gordon Cole]

Some fun stories of working at my movie theater:

* The elderly people who can't tell their ass from elbow macaroni. They can't read or hobble to the right theater even after incredibly specific instructions on how to get there. They also make up about 75% of our clientele.
* The time that people threw up in the theater and straight up pissed on the bathroom floor.
* People acting belligerent towards the ushers because they showed up late and were mad that the theater was all but sold out at that point.
* The time a middle-aged couple cornered a trainee on her break because they overestimated the amount of tickets they bought. (In other words, not her fault.)
* The frequent malfunctions, from smoky heating in the theaters, to the toilets in the ladies bathroom leaking, to the oil pump under the popper leaking, which led to us spending two hours closing instead of the normal 30-45 minutes.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

So during my short stint as a cashier, I was always in the first register, so I always had three customers come up, get their shit scanned, and go. Every time I thought I was finished, three more people came to me and I had to keep scanning shit, and these people filled their carts to the top, and it was just a constant pain in the ass. If on the odd chance that I wasn't in the front, I still kept getting people constantly.

 

[Gordon Cole]

So during my short stint as a cashier, I was always in the first register, so I always had three customers come up, get their shit scanned, and go. Every time I thought I was finished, three more people came to me and I had to keep scanning shit, and these people filled their carts to the top, and it was just a constant pain in the ass. If on the odd chance that I wasn't in the front, I still kept getting people constantly.

It sounds like you're complaining that you had to do your job, tbh. Where are the people shitting on the floor?

 

[Ido]

So during my short stint as a cashier, I was always in the first register, so I always had three customers come up, get their shit scanned, and go. Every time I thought I was finished, three more people came to me and I had to keep scanning shit, and these people filled their carts to the top, and it was just a constant pain in the ass. If on the odd chance that I wasn't in the front, I still kept getting people constantly.

Cashier life, every time. My department didnt finish opening because there was a shit ton to clean and I ended up having to go on register the rest of my shit because someone called in. I fucking hate register, I'm not a talkative person at all so its painful and goes by so slow, especially when we're busy, then I go insane.