Abandons Beg-A-Thon Part 3 "Podcast" - The Return of: Detractor Throat

[Agentsmith]

[ @Haunter: Cuz I'm a dope, this is gonna have to be the OP:

The December 23 “Beg-A-Thon Part 2” ended with a dejected Phil apologizing for his underwhelming Holiday event, both during the stream and on Twitter.

The planned climax for these special, festive streams was to be a more personal “Podcast”. However, following the perceived failure of Part 2, the defeated Phil has been calling in sick due to a “swollen throat" (later becoming a "cold"), and has appeared only once (admittedly sounding ill) for a “chill” Minecraft stream on the 26.]

Sounds like a great Xmas in the gout mansion

 

[LiquidCancer]

What the hell could his throat be swollen up from? The dry ass cereal? Surprised he isn't calling the company detractors for hurting his instrument (voice)

 

[Anonymous Dimwit]

Can gout affect the throat? I know it can attack feet but I wondered if Phil's lifestyle is so unhealthy that illnesses can manifest in new and exciting ways.

 

[Destro1986]

It's probably the year-old beer.

 

[Freshtodeath]

 

[actually]

View attachment 622861

Not even remotely unique for Phil. Check out how many times he had a "swollen throat" and posted about it on Twitter: https://twitter.com/search?l=&q=swollen throat from:theycallmedsp&src=typd

 

[N0thingICanDo]

This SORE THROAT has become a yearly, recurrent issue, let's recap


In 2014, he can't stream because of sore throat due to having excessive Gin after stream and fell asleep (alone) on the cum-stained casting couch

Then in 2015, he can't stream again because of sore throat, this time due to Leanna being a detractor and passing germs to him

In 2016, same shit happened again, but this time it was accompanied and due to POST NASAL DROP aka EXCESSIVE SNORTING

This time, it was suspected that he has been moving his head up and down too many times and overstretched his neck during this specific movement to cause the throat pain, guys, just look at that FAT THROAT one more time will ya

 

[TheGoutinator]

#SaveTheHouse

 

[DiabeticSP]

So 'sore throat' is Phil talk for 'hungover' the way someone might say they're 'under the weather' after new years.


Loving those muffins. Dave is such a basic bitch. 99c cupcake mix box, some 2 buck Pillsbury frosting, and sprinkles.

He didn't even need to leave the shelf at the grocery store.

Credit to Khet for putting in the minimum effort, dumbfuck probably called them 'homemade' anyways.

 

[clownpiss]

#SaveTheHouse
View attachment 622871

his podcast streams are his grand finale of begging, where he goes to no end reading off his woe is me crafted stories to squeeze whatever he can out of whoever.
the fact that he is just nonchalantly talking about skipping it is very odd and i think it may be one of two things.

1. the holiday gaming marathon failure hit him and as we saw he couldn't deflect or change the narrative so his ego had to take the reality that no one found his shit entertaining and not even the retards are pity baited by his cries for help. phil is terrified of that happening again and his ego being crushed even worse. it's like in fighting games where he just avoids multiplayer because he literally cannot take losing. if this is the case he is either blatantly lying about the money he needed or he and kat thought up a new plan for the future and something drastic will happen.

2. phil is going to do it no matter what but is just pushing every inch of wahh feel bad for me and also wants people to reply "hey what about the podcast i was really looking forward to it!!" because hes that much of a teenage girl. I can already hear it tomorrow
*unmutes mic* *speaks from the back of his throat in the roughest way he can* "well hello everyone, after much debate i decided to just say what the hell i cant miss this. i mean after seeing OVERWHELMING support and interest and people saying phil cmon phil every year you do the podcast you cant miss this year i said what the hell lets give it a try"

 

[Destro1986]

So 'sore throat' is Phil talk for 'hungover' the way someone might say they're 'under the weather' after new years.


Loving those muffins. Dave is such a basic bitch. 99c cupcake mix box, some 2 buck Pillsbury frosting, and sprinkles.

He didn't even need to leave the shelf at the grocery store.

Credit to Khet for putting in the minimum effort, dumbfuck probably called them 'homemade' anyways.

$5 they came from an endcap display. Also, $5 is more than they cost. Saving money!

his podcast streams are his grand finale of begging, where he goes to no end reading off his woe is me crafted stories to squeeze whatever he can out of whoever.
the fact that he is just nonchalantly talking about skipping it is very odd and i think it may be one of two things.

1. the holiday gaming marathon failure hit him and as we saw he couldn't deflect or change the narrative so his ego had to take the reality that no one found his shit entertaining and not even the exceptional individuals are pity baited by his cries for help. phil is terrified of that happening again and his ego being crushed even worse. it's like in fighting games where he just avoids multiplayer because he literally cannot take losing. if this is the case he is either blatantly lying about the money he needed or he and kat thought up a new plan for the future and something drastic will happen.

2. phil is going to do it no matter what but is just pushing every inch of wahh feel bad for me and also wants people to reply "hey what about the podcast i was really looking forward to it!!" because hes that much of a teenage girl. I can already hear it tomorrow
*unmutes mic* *speaks from the back of his throat in the roughest way he can* "well hello everyone, after much debate i decided to just say what the hell i cant miss this. i mean after seeing OVERWHELMING support and interest and people saying phil cmon phil every year you do the podcast you cant miss this year i said what the hell lets give it a try"

I am partial to option 1.

While he might lie about why he's upset, Dave isn't a particularly good actor, I don't think he could fake the actual emotion in that depressing ramble. I think his apologizing really shows that something hit him where it hurts.

 

[Anonymous Dimwit]

I look forward to hearing how raspy his voice is as he's saying all of those classics in Smash like "I couldn't blahk" and "Unearned win"

 

[Pargon]

You can always tell when Phil truly is feeling blue. That's when he heads on down to the bus station to suck half a dozen dicks in a row.

The sore throat is just the inevitable aftermath. Feel better, buddy!

 

[Wurstbrot]

There are two things which won't make his throat better but most likely occured after the horrible Sunday stream:

• Disgusting throat clearing
• A fall from his office window

 

[Drip Feed]

Smart, now the kids/mentally ill donators will be told he was 3 days of sickness and depression and that Christmas coulda been better, thats 3 days worth of subs, bits n cheers.

 

[Sparkletor]

Idea. Phil should still stream tomorrow and to save his poor throat just set up a text to speech program and spam "please send money"

 

[gin_nose]

his podcast streams are his grand finale of begging, where he goes to no end reading off his woe is me crafted stories to squeeze whatever he can out of whoever.
the fact that he is just nonchalantly talking about skipping it is very odd and i think it may be one of two things.

1. the holiday gaming marathon failure hit him and as we saw he couldn't deflect or change the narrative so his ego had to take the reality that no one found his shit entertaining and not even the exceptional individuals are pity baited by his cries for help. phil is terrified of that happening again and his ego being crushed even worse. it's like in fighting games where he just avoids multiplayer because he literally cannot take losing. if this is the case he is either blatantly lying about the money he needed or he and kat thought up a new plan for the future and something drastic will happen.

2. phil is going to do it no matter what but is just pushing every inch of wahh feel bad for me and also wants people to reply "hey what about the podcast i was really looking forward to it!!" because hes that much of a teenage girl. I can already hear it tomorrow
*unmutes mic* *speaks from the back of his throat in the roughest way he can* "well hello everyone, after much debate i decided to just say what the hell i cant miss this. i mean after seeing OVERWHELMING support and interest and people saying phil cmon phil every year you do the podcast you cant miss this year i said what the hell lets give it a try"

I like both but

Option 3: One of his pay pigs ate up the depression woe is me mah poor throat bullshit hook, line and sinker and sent him like $2000 tip via paypal on x-mas eve. I always say, he always starts to skip streams, show up late, act egotistical when he is over fed. you over feed the pig and he gets fat and lazy. i wouldnt bne surprised at all if he got a big x-mas tip that needs ot stay "behind the scenes" so trolls dont attack the donator. its hard to explain why else he would skip huge begging streams (other than option 1 and 2 abovve which are also very good theories). of course its also possible he is lying that he needs money that bad and he wanted it for a big x-mas gift for kat or a ring or a vacation and kat told him dont worry about getting it this year so he no longer is worried a bout it.

or going back to dsp needing the 16k to pay off kats debt so they can get married theory. maybe she told him she thinks they should wait to get engaged and married for a while regardless so he no longer desperately needs the money to pay her debts. maybe she broke this delay of the marriage news to him in the middle of the drinking stream which is why he came back so depressed and upset and then lost all interest in begging for money the next several days.

 

[gaarashatan]

"sry guys, i know i might lose everything, but i cant do a day of "work" cause my throat is sore"

ive seen people in work the day after they lose a loved one.

like fuck, he cant even do this "job" properly, there no way in fucking hell he quit those others job. and hell never get a job again. the moment phil cant make money from streaming is the moment he ends up homeless or living back with his parents

 

[Ilscuro]

He's not sick, it's more likely he and Khet are taking a mini Christmas vacation with all his scammed money.

 

[Haunter]

(Real OP later. Movin' discussion outta Mega-Thread.)

(Godammit. Now @Agentsmith is the thread creator. Wut the fudge.)

Um... @Agentsmith I'll edit an OP into your post, I guess?