DSP: "I have to visit CT and see sick parents in 2019" - most dramatic event of all of 2019 so far

[Mooty Mooty Mooty]

so Phil is over his back issues now?

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

so Phil is over his back issues now?

It miraculously disappeared since he moved to Washington and hasn't mentioned it since. Weird huh?

 

[Commander Keen]

His dad is working full time with all these health issues? That's interesting.

DSP’s parental unit is probably just old and kinda run down. He probably said something like “I’m not gonna be able to work much longer and the amount of money we send is gonna drop” and DSP just assumed the nigga was about to croak or something.

DSP thinks any minor health thing is something horrible. Runny nose? Fucking serious health condition I could die. Scratchy throat? I’m choking because I can’t swallow super easily.

I imagine if DSP bumped into someone with actually serious medical issues, he would try to compare them to his.

 

[gin_nose]

the most annoying part of this story arc is that his parents arent even old. early 60s is like the new late 40s. early 60s is not old at all. plus anyone who is in bad shape is not working full time, period.

since when is a bad back a death sentence? and "heart issues"??? his dad probably had some typical boomer operation like a stent or a roto-rooter of his main artery or something like that which is completely normal for people in their 60s and like a minor procedure these days. and i dout its even that much. probably his doctor told him he should get an EKG on a regular basis because he is getting old so phil spins that into heart issues.

while he doesnt want his fans to pay for the trip, he will want them to pay for the time not streaming DURING the trip! so he does want his fans to pay for the trip!

just when you thought phil couldnt do something more disgusting, he does it. this is why he is my favorite cow.

Also, i wouldnt be surprised he told them he is going to marry kat and they said they wouldnt give him a huge wedding gift if they didnt meet her first, probably only reason he is even doing this trip.

 

[TurboSwine]

I really wonder if his parents are fully aware of his streams and what he says. I can't imagine anyone being okay with their kid telling the world that they are dieing even if it is true.

I pondered writing his parents a letter offering to pay for them to head out there in any fashion taking as much time as they need since they are in such poor health. I'm sure we would learn of their reaction via Phil in a very hilarious manner. But i also just don't care enough.

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink]

I imagine if DSP bumped into someone with actually serious medical issues, he would try to compare them to his.

Considering he already does this in every facet of his life, and has already compared his nasal drip to someone missing a foot, I’d say this is a solid assumption.

“Got cancer? Yeah man I feel ya dood, I snort constantly and had a leg spasm on the highway once.” Then he snorts right in the guys face.

 

[Commander Keen]

Considering he already does this in every facet of his life, and has already compared his nasal drip to someone missing a foot, I’d say this is a solid assumption.

“Got cancer? Yeah man I feel ya dood, I snort constantly and had a leg spasm on the highway once.” Then he snorts right in the guys face.

We playing this game? “SirButtsOnFire, huh huh huh nice name, cheered 1488 bits and said ‘I’m glad you stream during the day, I have short bowel syndrome and am constantly on the crapper having explosive diarrhea. It sucks really bad but watching you while liquid fury erupts from my tender anus makes it a little better.’ Yeah, man, I feel ya. I ate two week old sweet and sour pork and I was just crapping my guts out. It took me like 20 minutes to get off the toilet, bro, so I know exactly what you mean. I get diarrhea about once a month and it just makes me so fucking exhausted so I relate with what you’re going through.”

 

[Sparkletor]

Phil's parents must be multimillionaires. Here's two reasons why...

Both mom and dad have health issues. Since we know for a fact that a trip to the doctor for the common cold costs $2000, imagine how much a heart condition would set them back. Ouch!

They own 3 cats! 3 cats!
Phil makes over $10k a month and can't afford 1 pet cat. These folks must be swimming in money to be able to afford three!

 

[harbinger]

This is the Phil I came to enjoy watching! It’s the same Phil that did Friend Request Ridicules all those years ago where he insulted his fans all evening! It’s the same Phil that fucked over his friends and collaborators on Project 7! It’s the same Phil that had to wake up his sick girlfriend who had been in bed all day so she could make him dinner! It’s the same Phil that read his parents the riot act for not buying him that wolverine doll! I miss this Phil! I wish we could get more of this! This is great!

Also, is Phil getting rounder? I swear he has the build of soft-serve I’ve cream (and complexion of vanilla). Has he never had a neck, or am I just now seeing that he doesn’t for the first time? He looks like that robot from the new Star Wars movies with his head just rolling around his shoulders.

 

[BrunoMattei]

 

[Gout of Redemption]

It's really disgusting how he can constantly keep getting away with pulling this pity party in order to try and make money

 

[BrunoMattei]

It's really disgusting how he can constantly keep getting away with pulling this pity party in order to try and make money

I think he's biding his time until they die and he can collect their will which will momentarily save his ass.

 

[gaarashatan]

its moments like these that i understand full well why dsp is a lolcow. its non stop begging with this guy.

even talking about money for a hotel? why dont you just sleep at your parents you dumb fuck

 

[Hatoful Dandy]

I think he's biding his time until they die and he can collect their will which will momentarily save his ass.

Wonder if he's gonna have competition from his cousin that his parents adopted. You know, the one with junkie parents he talked about for no other reason than khantent.

 

[BatChatillon]

Would be funny if the parents confront him with something he did not expect, like him getting disinherited or they telling him they want him to marry. Also imagine he introduces Kat to them.
Doesn't change the fact that his parents pay his trip to visit them because their good son would never visit them on his own. He can't tell us what he got Kat for Christmas but he can tell people that his parents are very sick.

 

[Hatoful Dandy]

Also, is Phil getting rrrrrrrroooooounnnnderrrrrr?

 

[Xenomorph]

You know just when he can't be a bigger piece of shit than he already is, he goes and proves me wrong.

 

[BrunoMattei]

You alright, Neger?

Losing his modship kind of broke him.

 

[DerelictOnion]

There are people in their 80s who are healthier and more active than Phil. I wouldn't be surprised if his parents are in fact in better shape than he is.

 

[strandedcastaway]

As disgusting as Phil using his suddenly dying parents for donations is, he's smart enough to describe it in a manipulative way that it might fools the suckers who listen to him. My parents "could take a sudden turn for the worse"...well yeah, no shit, anyone (especially someone older) could theoretically take a sudden turn for the worse and die. Some paypigs hear that and the logic will actually work on them, even though it's true of anyone at any time in any situation.