Lovequest 26 November 2014- Chris Asks for Advice on How to be A Slut

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Hah, this is classic. Now that Chris is a self-proclaimed woman, all he has to do is "be a slut" to get sex on-demand... right?
Tell him to dress conservatively, because lesbians are always tempted the most by the prospect of seducing an "inaccessible" woman. "Downton Abbey" can provide fashion examples.
 
Might be a good time to at least try to get him using shampoo and conditioner designed for greasy, colour damaged hair. Every time I see that bleached birds nest I wanna weep.
 
Flufflehugs said:
Well, Chris is done with my commission. I have no clue what it will be about.

In other news, he would like to become a slut and needs some advice.View attachment 9792
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I kinda feel like I owe you an apology for this. Renee started the whole "sex positive" thing. Why on earth would he be asking you for tips on being a slut? What makes him think you're sex positive? Odd how he make such an assumption based on few eBay purchases.
 
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warongiygas said:
Also, this sex positive stuff is interesting. He doesn't seem to understand that women who identify as sex-positive also often identify as sluts. The term isn't an alternative to being a slut at all; it encapsulates a range of ideas from sexual empowerment for women to anti slut-shaming.
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He seems to think that "sex-positive" means nothing more than someone who has sex a lot.

What a dunce.
 
Flufflehugs said:
Well, Chris is done with my commission. I have no clue what it will be about.

In other news, he would like to become a slut and needs some advice.View attachment 9792
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"Well, for starters, women really get super turned-on when you avoid eye-contact and stay several yards away from them. Oh, and you know what really makes chicks melt? Never saying a single word to any of them. You'll have to beat them off with a stick!"
 
He Sets Me On Fire said:
"Well, for starters, women really get super turned-on when you avoid eye-contact and stay several yards away from them. Oh, and you know what really makes chicks melt? Never saying a single word to any of them. You'll have to beat them off with a stick!"
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If only Chris tried that technique on guys. Why, he'd be beating off guys with both hands.
 
Honeyrabbit said:
If only Chris tried that technique on guys. Why, he'd be beating off guys with both hands.
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Like he did behind Best Buy?

Also, best advice for Chris is to wash, listen, don't come on too strong, get a job, move out of Mummy's house, and most of all DITCH THE TOMGIRL SHIT.
 
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Giving Chris advice on getting ladies would require a lot of fucking writing. To start with, you'd have to undo tomgirl in his head, and that'd take 6+ months. Unless someone has something very unique to say on the subject, we should probably move on.
WilhelmIIofPrussia said:
He's blaming delays on snow.
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Eh, Chris isn't the most talented driver, plus he lives out in the sticks and Barb might not want him getting stranded.
 
I don't know if I think you should point Chris at Autostraddle.com or not. On one hand, Chris could use the wakeup call, but do the Autostraddle folks deserve Chris?
 
Whatever you tell him is going to end with an offended woman at the mall and possibly a jerkcop involved, so be careful with your advice.
 
Just tell him to be himself and get it over with.

It's not like Chris is going to listen to any GOOD advice such as:
1) Get a job and start managing your finances
2) Stop being self-centered and narcissistic
3) Shower
4) Learn to stop shitting yourself
5) Spend money other than on yourself
6) Stop focusing only on sex
7) Take responsibility for your actions
8) Or do something that makes you a desirable person
 
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Tell him that he needs to go to the lesbian bar, stand on the pool table, and yell "HEY! Which one of you cuties wanna come home with me and lick my soul-vagina!"
 
You should just say you're not a slut so you can't help him and offer him tomgirl beauty tips or whatevs.

EDIT:point him towards Kai's makeup tutorials.
 
I sincerely doubt anything you do or say could help him get girls (that tugboat has sailed) but maybe tell him to take a little better care of himself?

Or just ignore the message/point out how inappropriate it is to ask, it's what I would do.
 
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