Bio:
Kiwi was discovered in the jungles of Africa shortly after WW2 in 1946. After being transported to a Nevada research facility, Kiwi just kinda wandered off and spent the rest of the 40s as a lounge singer in New York. Kiwi spent the 1950s in the US Army as a chef, participating in the Korean War by making waffles for the troops. Kiwi became good friends with JFK in the early 60s and was going to accompany him to his parade on the day of the assassination but instead stayed home to watch the first episode of Doctor Who. Following the 1964 Summer of Love, Kiwi spent 7 years as a filthy hippie and then the 70s as an alcoholic journalist. After inventing and then killing disco in the late 70s Kiwi went on to follow various bands around during the 1980s. After impeaching Bill Clinton and making a lot of money off of the Napster lawsuits in the 90s, Kiwi settled down in the 2000s to become a world traveler, which entails a lot of watching the Travel Channel. Kiwi was employed as Obama's speech writer, but outsourced the work to China.