Gross Anna Johnson / The Fit Vegan Ginger / Creation Nutrition / Anna's Organics Lynchburg - Jesus Freak, orthorexic, creator of vegan food monstrosities, munches to avoid getting a job

[multiverse]

Did she ever say she completed an undergrad degree? Don't you have to do that, plus take the GRE before you start working on a doctorate?

No, she hasn't completed undergrad and is open about this. Why she expects people to think she enrolled in a PhD program before completing undergrad is beyond me. Of course, the program she claims to be in offers doctoral graduation in 6 months. . .

 

[FitBitch]

No, she hasn't completed undergrad and is open about this. Why she expects people to think she enrolled in a PhD program before completing undergrad is beyond me. Of course, the program she claims to be in offers doctoral graduation in 6 months. . .

Well... that's embarrassing...

 

[Candidae]

Anna takes another inspirational selfie as a widdle uwu 12 year old girl as she explains that she determined to "take her life back" from pretend CF, only to have her hopes all dashed as her starved body gets weaker. But them she remembered daddy God! Girl, you never shut up about him. I simply do not believe you when you say your faith strayed. I believe you cheated on the meal plan you agreed to with your parents, which is different from losing faith in God. That's just you being a shitty person.

And if she thinks you're supposed to poke fish inside their tanks, I truly pity any fish Anna has ever owned. Those analogies, yikes.
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She made "healthy" spinach artichoke dip. Let's guess the ingredients! My guesses are: contains greek yogurt, vinegar and dijon mustard for sure.
View attachment 653983

And how right was I? Dude, this dip is supposed to be served hot, or at least warm. It's supposed to be cheesy and bubbling and baked until it has a tiny crust on the edges.

This is yogurt which is going to curdle the second you add vinegar to it; watery frozen spinach with no instructions to drain it; and a single tablespoon of the lowest fat calories cheese there is. All "dumped" in a bowl cold. Wow, so yummers Anna. Cold canned artichokes, soggy defrosted spinach and curdled yogurt. With mustard!
View attachment 653989 View attachment 653988

Edit: for reference, this is a normal ingredient list and method for this dip. Anna's uses the same amount of spinach as a dip intended to serve 10, is missing mayo and cream cheese, and even for a one person serving, Anna's doesn't have enough cheese in it to make the melty dip consistency. Hers will be a bowl of watery canned and frozen veg with curdled yogurt and mustard on it.
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Ironic she uses typical indulgent language by claiming "all dips are superbowl ready" for the least indulgent recipe ever
Sometimes I'm tempted to make a blog like hers but where I try to fix her recipes cause jeez, it's possible to make healthy and even really low calorie versions of foods really tasty but this girl is so incapable of even trying despite this basically being her job

 

[FrickleMyPickle]

Ironic she uses typical indulgent language by claiming "all dips are superbowl ready" for the least indulgent recipe ever
Sometimes I'm tempted to make a blog like hers but where I try to fix her recipes cause jeez, it's possible to make healthy and even really low calorie versions of foods really tasty but this girl is so incapable of even trying despite this basically being her job

I'm still hung up over the fact that she used garlic powder in stir fry. Fresh garlic is the easiest thing to get and prepare and also really good for you.

 

[Dysnomia]

Re canned pumpkin - in the dog owner world it's considered practically a miracle food. have a fat dog that can't exercise more to lose weight? replace a portion of their food with canned pumpkin. got a dog that needs to poop but can't or has anal gland issues? canned pumpkin. got a dog that can't stop pooping? canned pumpkin.

Anna loves her poop potions. I think they are not just for weight loss but to make her look sicker because she's in the bathroom all the damn time. She's gotta make that colon look like it has to come out somehow.

 

[Kate Farms Shill]

Anna loves her poop potions. I think they are not just for weight loss but to make her look sicker because she's in the bathroom all the damn time. She's gotta make that colon look like it has to come out somehow.

Wouldn't be surprised. She claims crohn's as one of her fake diagnoses. They probably also serve to make her feel awful all the time therefore less inclined to eat/more inclined to lay around pretending she's dying.

 

[Gentleburd]

Anna takes another inspirational selfie as a widdle uwu 12 year old girl as she explains that she determined to "take her life back" from pretend CF, only to have her hopes all dashed as her starved body gets weaker. But them she remembered daddy God! Girl, you never shut up about him. I simply do not believe you when you say your faith strayed. I believe you cheated on the meal plan you agreed to with your parents, which is different from losing faith in God. That's just you being a shitty person.

And if she thinks you're supposed to poke fish inside their tanks, I truly pity any fish Anna has ever owned. Those analogies, yikes.
View attachment 653979 View attachment 653978 View attachment 653980

She made "healthy" spinach artichoke dip. Let's guess the ingredients! My guesses are: contains greek yogurt, vinegar and dijon mustard for sure.
View attachment 653983

And how right was I? Dude, this dip is supposed to be served hot, or at least warm. It's supposed to be cheesy and bubbling and baked until it has a tiny crust on the edges.

This is yogurt which is going to curdle the second you add vinegar to it; watery frozen spinach with no instructions to drain it; and a single tablespoon of the lowest fat calories cheese there is. All "dumped" in a bowl cold. Wow, so yummers Anna. Cold canned artichokes, soggy defrosted spinach and curdled yogurt. With mustard!
View attachment 653989 View attachment 653988

Edit: for reference, this is a normal ingredient list and method for this dip. Anna's uses the same amount of spinach as a dip intended to serve 10, is missing mayo and cream cheese, and even for a one person serving, Anna's doesn't have enough cheese in it to make the melty dip consistency. Hers will be a bowl of watery canned and frozen veg with curdled yogurt and mustard on it.
View attachment 653994
View attachment 653997

Adding the curdled dip to the event tomorrow. That shit’s gross as hell.

 

[AbraCadaver]

The canned pumpkin fascination is weird to me. One would think a health nut wouldn't like canned food, with it being so high in sodium, having preservatives, etc. But she doesn't seem to mind showing her followers that she "uses" and "eats" it regularly.

Canned foods have the exact number of calories printed on the side. No weighing fresh ingredients and trying to do the math yourself.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

Classes here are based on credit hours, not sheer number of classes. I think the average is about sixteen credit hours, with classes typically being three credit hours/course (as well as one or six credit courses being used for padding if you have to meet a full time requirement for scholarship reasons) , and you have to get the okay from the University Dean before you can have over ~20 hours (can't remember the exact number).

When I attended my university, 4-5 classes was normal for full-time students, especially if one of the classes was less than 3 credit hours. Also, my university considered 18 credits or more in a semester an overload that required approval. I imagine different universities have different overload numbers and policies.

What few online classes I've taken use the syllabus to outline what assignments were due when - leaving it up to the students to manage their time wisely to meet the deadlines.

As for first day coursework, it largely depends on the class and the format. When I took community college courses that met once a week for 3-4 hours, it was normal to be given homework the first day to prepare for an assignment, quiz, or exam the following week. Most classes that met 2-3 times a week largely went over the syllabus on day one and perhaps directed students to do a smaller assignment or reading to have done for next time.

 

[Kate Farms Shill]

When I attended my university, 4-5 classes was normal for full-time students, especially if one of the classes was less than 3 credit hours. Also, my university considered 18 credits or more in a semester an overload that required approval. I imagine different universities have different overload numbers and policies.

This is how the university I worked for operated. 5 was standard full time and 6 was pushing it for undergraduate but not unheard of. Sciences tended to take five 3-credit classes plus one or two corresponding 1-credit labs. Four classes per semester wouldn't let you graduate on time unless you also took Summer and Winterim courses.

Online classes tend to assign more short writing assignments to make up for the loss of proper in-class discussion. The ones in my department usually require weekly "reaction papers" or blog posts where students prove they did the assigned readings and at least superficially understood them. They take all of 20-3o minutes to write. We all know Anna exaggerates to make herself seem special-er. I believe she has three "essays" due after the first day but guarantee she's not writing more than a few paragraphs to prove she has a pulse.

 

[Gentleburd]

Shopping is done and the chosen recipes are as follows:

SAVORY OATMEAL
2016/02/my-favorite-weeknight-dinner-http://thefitveganginger.blogspot.com/savory.html?m=1

JESUS COOKIES
http://thefitveganginger.blogspot.com/2016/03/holiday-post-resurrection-cookies-high.html?m=1

GREAT GREY-GREEN GREASY TURMERIC PANCAKES
http://thefitveganginger.blogspot.com/2016/04/pancake-sunday-turmeric-blueberry-spice.html?m=1

CURDLED ARTICHIKE DIP
Posted a page or so back.


The ingredients:

 

[multiverse]

GREAT GREY-GREEN GREASY TURMERIC PANCAKES
http://thefitveganginger.blogspot.com/2016/04/pancake-sunday-turmeric-blueberry-spice.html?m=1

Remember, any peanut butter has to be powdered (pb2) and syrup must be Walden Farms!

 

[Gentleburd]

Making the dip. It smells like death.

Remember, any peanut butter has to be powdered (pb2) and syrup must be Walden Farms!

Jokes on you I’m using the powdered stuff for reals.

Dip is surprisingly not vomit inducing. Just...bleh. Won’t be finishing it.
Gentlebro, being a trooper, went back for seconds to make absolutely sure it wasn’t poisonous. Semper fi.

Gentlebro will be offering his insight into the cooking fails after we do all the recipes. If he survives.

 

[FrickleMyPickle]

Dip is surprisingly not vomit inducing. Just...bleh. Won’t be finishing it.
Gentlebro, being a trooper, went back for seconds to make absolutely sure it wasn’t poisonous. Semper fi.

Gentlebro will be offering his insight into the cooking fails after we do all the recipes. If he survives.

The dip at least seems salvageable. Add some extra cheese and pop it in the oven and you're back in business. Onion Cashew Oatmeal only wishes it could be so lucky.

 

[Gentleburd]

The dip at least seems salvageable. Add some extra cheese and pop it in the oven and you're back in business. Onion Cashew Oatmeal only wishes it could be so lucky.

Actually, the oatmeal was a big surprise! It was actually kinda good. It tasted like chicken.

We just cooked it like regular oatmeal, added spices, then tossed on some steamed veggies. It wasn’t bad IMO.

 

[Gentlebro]

Dip is surprisingly not vomit inducing. Just...bleh. Won’t be finishing it.
Gentlebro, being a trooper, went back for seconds to make absolutely sure it wasn’t poisonous. Semper fi.

Gentlebro will be offering his insight into the cooking fails after we do all the recipes. If he survives.

Hello again, Kiwi Farms. It's been a long time.

So, some quick exposition. Since our first encounter with the Gastronomicon, I have been permanently scarred by our experiences. I cannot smell apple cider vinegar without gagging. Garlic and onion powder send me reeling for the nearest chaser. I still haven't been able to look at beans and bananas without curling into the fetal position. So when 'burd approached me about a return to the book, I was quite skeptical. Trying to make any sense of those recipes seemed as fruitless as trying to live off of them.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm only doing this because I was promised cookies.

So, the first dish was to be a vegan spin dip. From a glance, she suggests Greek yogurt and parm cheese. While I have seen non-dairy Greek yogurt before, I have not seen non-dairy Parmesan. I just had to ask 'burd whether or not the FVG is still V, as these two ingredients are giant red flags to me. If she's off her strict diet, who knows what mad science she has invented...

Honestly, @multiverse has already pointed out the critical flaws in planning this dish out and preparing it: ingredients do not pair well together, and it is served at the wrong temperature. Before tasting it, I was worried that this dip would sour quickly, due to both the acid from the vinegar and the temperature shock from mixing cold yogurt with steaming hot spinach. For most dairy products, and especially in those developed with bacteria culture, temperature shock will prompt a pre-curdling response that (re)activates the bacteria to start converting the lactose into lactic acid. The pH of dairy products is closely related to its ability to remain a colloid, and once the pH becomes too acidic, the product will separate. Lactic acid smells and tastes sour, thus when you do what the FVG suggests, you essentially create a rapidly spoiling party food. Obviously, this should be a nonstarter.

The dip was all thrown together. Our pictures ended up being fairly close to what hers are, thus I will take this as sign of prosperity from the Old Gods. I tasted it twice on plain Ruffles: once to determine its overall quality, and again to determine whether the first bite was simply lucky. I expected to be grossed out by the apple cider vinegar, which was apparent to the tongue, but overall the taste is quite bland. The temperature is easily the worst part about it; the first bite was warm, but the second was deep in the uncanny valley between "lukewarm" and "hardened grits". It's reminiscent to an actual spin dip, but it is missing a huge amount of flavor and a creamier consistency to truly compete with something you'd have to actually cook. Since being vegan isn't a limitation anymore, I'd suggest cream cheese and sour cream instead yogurt to get a thicker dip. Also, using a slow cooker makes serving a breeze.

 

[Gentleburd]

The Jesus cookies are in the oven! Mixing the dough was interesting, since 4 tablespoons of water created nothing but dry crumbles. We ended up having to add 3 more tablespoons of water to make actual dough.
We formed four orbs instead of the suggested three because we’re rebels like that.

We also have the pancake batter mixed as well. We had to add a teaspoon of water to that as well since it was so thick it wouldn’t pour. We will be making the pancakes now!

(Edit: Gentlebro is writing up his take on the rest of the recipes. Once he posts I will show the rest of the pics I took and share my opinion on the food. I think you guys will be surprised which recipe was the worst of the lot.)

 

[Gentlebro]

Actually, the oatmeal was a big surprise! It was actually kinda good. It tasted like chicken.

We just cooked it like regular oatmeal, added spices, then tossed on some steamed veggies. It wasn’t bad IMO.

So, savory oatmeal. I'm a fan of savory breakfast foods like grits or biscuits and gravy, yet seeing her rabid enthusiasm towards a "new thing" gives me pause. No, savory oatmeal is not a new thing, but I will admit that I prefer sweet dishes with oats (peanut butter bars, granola bars) over savory (meatloaf, etc). Like hominy or lentils, oatmeal is a decent binder/thickener for different stews or salads, and it is a good source of protein and complex carbs.

In general, nothing about this recipe stands out as terrifying. The taste profile of the ingredients show a coarse direction for flavor with a lot of room for improvement. This is not necessarily a bad thing; if you were to use this oatmeal as a side for something else, I think it would go well in complimenting the main's flavor with different spices in the oatmeal. Her suggestions for toppings also contribute to this, though I disagree with her use of lentils, as they are superfluous along with the oats.

My first bite of the oatmeal was shortly after I added the spices and returned it to the heat to reduce. The best way I could think to describe it would be this: take an orange Maruchan ramen packet, lick your finger and dip it into the spice packet, stick your finger in your mouth, and then munch a bunch of the broken scraggly bits of noodle from the bottom of the bag. Somehow, and I'm really not certain how, I was tasting hints of chicken flavor. Using a bag of steamed mixed veggies as a topping, the dish as a whole had a slight balance to it.

If only it wasn't on its own. Honestly, substituting a bullion cube for the spices would probably put this recipe over. She's close to something real here.

 

[Gentleburd]

The Jesus Cookies didn’t quite end up like Anna says they should have. The marshmallows didn’t really vanish like Jesus. They kinda sploded out like a bloated corpse.

The cookies tasted good. They weren’t too crumbly or dusty. The cookie part wasn’t too sweet and balanced the mallow out nicely.


The pancakes. The final dish. They were a disaster. To put it simply, they taste like burnt popcorn. How they got that flavor will forever be a mystery much like the spontaneous chicken-ness of the oatmeal.
The taste was a real shock since they smelled so good. We were really looking forward to blueberry pancakes and instead we got...Yuck.

 

[multiverse]

A giant


To @Gentlebro and @Gentleburd for taking on yet another culinary vortex of horror. I'm shocked that the dip didn't come out as horrible as expected, but then imagine an ana-chan eating it at glacial pace as it curdles and cools.

The oatmeal experiment was also surprising, but I believe she makes these things with only low calorie oat bran which makes the crucial difference. Never does she describe in full the actual horrors in full that she inflicts upon food.

All the