Obscure Laughingstocks - Lolcows without substantial online presence.

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Mandy Vanity has long been a favorite of mine.
[youtube]BmP1TtTmCP8[/youtube]
"Off with his head, yeah!"

A former scene queen who was friends with Dahvie Vanity and decided she was going to become a famous pop star. Her album "Fairy Tales and Nightmares" is full of lyrical gems like "Here's the concept, I'm not a desperate whore but when it comes to you, you leave me wanting more" and "Quit calling my freaking phoooone! G-T-F-OoooOOooOO!" She legally changed her last name to Urie because she's obsessed with Brendon Urie, and used to insist that she was going to marry Eminem but now she has a boyfriend so I guess that's off.
 
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Maria (craftybeautydiva1) has been claiming that people trolling her giving her constructive criticism makes her feel suicidal sometimes.

You know, not her losing custody of her two kids, being evicted over and over again, her family not having anything to do with her, none of that.
 
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sparklemilhouse said:
Maria (craftybeautydiva1) has been claiming that people trolling her giving her constructive criticism makes her feel suicidal sometimes.

You know, not her losing custody of her two kids, being evicted over and over again, her family not having anything to do with her, none of that.
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She's such a wonderful trainwreck. Between her and Cary getting "executed" from their various apartments and Cary turning into a mass of quivering jelly over God's will getting them a church I don't know what's better.
 
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I've never heard her bring up her side of the family, like her parents. I assume they evicted her out of their lives due to her poor decision making.
 
Maria went on a spending spree at sephora days after being evicted and moving into a room at a "friends" house.

When my parents house was foreclosed on 9 years ago, we bought food to last us for the week while we packed like maniacs. But you know she lives in a different twisted world than us normals.
 
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sparklemilhouse said:
Maria went on a spending spree at sephora days after being evicted and moving into a room at a "friends" house.

When my parents house was foreclosed on 9 years ago, we bought food to last us for the week while we packed like maniacs. But you know she lives in a different twisted world than us normals.
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Don't worry, she got her Jesus on. Looks like she went to the Dallas Galleria too.

I did some completely dumb shit while (clinically) manic and after losing my grandma in 2012 (YES I WILL DRINK THIS CASE OF WINE PUT IT ON MY CC PLEASE) but that was the wakeup I needed and pulling cash out of my ass was a good way to make it real.

I've had a good time watching the exploits of Maria's friend who got weight loss surgery and basically went as noncompliant as possible as soon as possible. I've known people who've had it and it's serious fucking business. It's not some get-skinny-overnight magic bullet and it requires a SERIOUS reevaluation of your relationship with food.
 
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^youuuure welcome. She is so stereotypical white trash its hard to believe she's real.

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I've mentioned before that I enjoy watching old commercial breaks on youtube. A couple of years ago, this dumbass, "Cory S." spammed so many commercial breaks with endless one word comments (example).

I went on his profile page for the first time ever this morning to see if he's still doing it, and seems like I'm not the only one annoyed by him:

https://www.youtube.com/user/cstoczyn/discussion
 
Remember how a few years ago, there was a lot of drama about ~*hAwT GAMER GURLZ*~ taking sexy pictures with their controller and telling guys not to hit on them, stuff like that? There used to be a minor shitstorm around this one girl called Vickiipedia:
hey i’m vickii :3

yes i have a vagina; get over it. being a girl doesn’t make me suck at the game, i’m a challenge to most guys in the cod community :). i am 19 and live in a small town in the north east of england near newcastle. i’ll let you all assume that i’m a geordie and we’ll leave it at that. in case you haven’t already guessed i’m a new member of FYcod and i’ll be recording for the open lobbies on xbox with my HD PVR.

i own a ps3 and an xbox but i don’t really play on my ps3 since i haven’t got any games for it or a headset. you may add me on xbox if you want, my gamertag is x TiGERLiLY just message me saying you follow here so i know ^^ . whenever i’m on there playing any sort of cod game i’ll more than likely be recording, since i’ve recently started doing black ops commentaries which you can all see on youtube (i think you should all check out ;D).

if i’m not thinking about cod, i’m more than likely thinking about either pokemon, harry potter or glee. guys automatically assume that just cos i’m a girl who plays xbox that i’m a total tomboy but i’m far from it. i think the geeky things are cute though. if i meet your standards in the awesome ladder, feel free to follow my personal http://vickiipedia.tumblr.com/.

i look forward to talking to you all :)

if you haven’t already noticed i suck at grammar
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Made infamous due to her stunning hypocrisy:
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She couldn't choose one single way to attention whore, so sometimes she'd complain about guys always hitting on her, other times she'd complain about always being called ugly, other girls are bitches and whores, she's bullied for having big boobs (really just a push-up bra), and she's a better gamer than any guy. Also used to threaten to delete her account, and sometimes she did but she came back every time.
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Though she did delete her last known Tumblr a long-ass time ago and switched all her social media accounts. Wonder where she is now.
 
^ i love the youtube thumbnail that was chosen for the vid of the judge looking like, "are u shittin me?"

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(organizedlikejen)

Sitting around on her ass all day doing nothing and making videos about her 1% life is just soo hard you guize.
 
Buckle up, kiddos, because I have a fandom lolcow to share with you: thedeadexaminer, hereafter referred to as TDE.

Sadly, this guy has deleted his Tumblr and deviantART both, but he was just infamous enough in the Homestuck fandom that it's still possible to find a bit of info. All the rest of this is from memory.

TDE claimed to be married to one of the trolls, Aradia. To make things extra-weird, the character in question is around thirteen years of age at the time of her introduction; TDE claimed to be in his thirties. He also claimed that Aradia was really closer to nineteen years old (which is...still a pretty squicky age gap, IMO), and that he had a portal into the Homestuck universe where they hung out and such. And he got her pregnant at one point...somehow. (For those not in the know: the finer points of troll reproduction are left to the imagination in canon, but it's heavily implied from what we do know that they aren't actually capable of pregnancy. So let's add "flagrant disregard for canon" to this guy's laundry list of sins.)

Also, he claimed that he and Aradia had been married for two years...back in 2011, when she'd been a character in the comic for less than one year. Yeah, try to wrap your head around that one.

He also drew a fair bit, and while, like I said, he deleted his dA, the magic of the Internet Archive means you too can experience the sheer awfulness of this guy's "art."

Here, have fun.

Oh, and let me repeat: THIS GUY WAS IN HIS THIRTIES.

Now, it was never truly concluded whether or not this guy was trolling. His lack of talent, bizarre claims, and general WTFery all point to him being a troll...but given the fact that he blocked me on dA for me jokingly asking him to draw Sollux/Aradia fanart (he frequently took requests), I'm honestly pretty sure he was at least semi-serious.

I kinda miss him, all things considered.
 
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Chris's antics with CHANGE SONIC'S ARMS BACK NOW NOW NOW!!! reminded me of a guy that was on the Sci-fi Channel boards back in 2004-2005.
His handle was Languatron and he really hated the reimagined Battlestar Galactica. He wanted a continuation of the original. He loudly demanded the new series cancelled, the sets destroyed, Ronald D. Moore blacklisted and let Richard Hatch take it all over. He wanted everything exactly the way it was back in 1978, including having all of the sets built as they were back then. He was going to BOYCOT all of NBC/Universal's lineup until his demands were met. He was eventually banned and made enough ban evading accounts to make TJ Church proud. He would do this on EVERY sci-fi related site and even on LDS websites since the original series was often called the Book of Mormon in Space.
When he ran out of places to be banned from, he started his own board where only he and his sockpuppets could post. From there he'd rewrite press releases to say what a flop the show was and how it was going to be cancelled and pulled from the lineup before all 13 episodes aired.

I doubt any of this survives anywhere. Scifi purged his presence and eventually just mentioning him could get you banned too.
 
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Gothicserpent said:
I wouldn't call him obscure, but this video made me lose most of my respect for Egoraptor.
His reason for hating Ocarina Of Time boils down to "I'm impatient, gameplay is the ONLY thing that matters, games shouldn't give you objectives, and if you disagree with me then you are an idiot."

And yet he still think's he know everything about game design. In other Sequelitis videos he gave the audience food for though.

In this one he comes off as a bullying jerk.
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I did think Ocarina was awesome, but a bit lacking in challenging puzzles compared to ALttP and ALBW, and the exploration felt more like you were being set along a path than openly exploring a world. Of course the combat system is a lot more complex because of how many more attack animations they could put in an N64 Zelda with a proportionate 3D model, compared to an SNES top-down view sprite where it's difficult to show Link doing anything besides stand, shield, walk, stab, and slash. I could sperg on about much the same points as he did only more respectably, but I will say what would have made Ocarina more like a true Zelda game is if you weren't clearly set along a path, it had an item setup like LttP with the obvious thingy about child/adult modes disabling certain items, and the bosses and mini-bosses were more like Iron Knuckle.

In short, I think egoraptor is kinda right about Ocarina of Time vs Link to the Past, just being arrogant about it and acting like OoT is the biggest fail since the CD-i games. And I felt that way before watching that, from actually having played a good portion of the Zelda franchise, including OoT and LttP.
 
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Nickolaus Pacione has launched a brilliant Indiegogo campaign where you can give him money and he will give his self-published horror books to some creationist dude. I dislike creationism as much as the next person, but that seems too harsh a punishment.

Prize to the person who can translate that word vomit into English!
 
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I may have found someone.

Here's someone I came across named Pax Humana, who I've been observing for quite a while now. I thought this guy was a troll at first, but looking at more of his comments is pushing him dangerously close to lolcow territory, if he's not already there. He's one of those types where you can't have a rational debate with anyone because he acts so childish and goes on a warpath with people he disagrees with. He's a conspiracy theorist, creationist and Christian extremist who also oozes Internet Tough Guy, with a galaxy size ego to boot. He was supposedly trolled and abused in the past, making him untrustworthy towards others, partially because he has autism (Asperger's Syndrome, to be more precise.). The reason I don't think he's a troll is due to these conversations below:

The first is from this Game Theorists video. The conversation has since been muted, (You can read the rest here if you're so inclined)but I screencapped a good portion of it.

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The second is from an Iron Maiden song. This conversation has not been muted.

Watch what you say online you idiot.jpg

This last one isn't from youtube, but from this news article. but I thought this was worth posting, TBH.

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He even admits he's very serious about his beliefs. He even said homosexuality is heterophobic, a form of hate speech, and is even illegal. You can see more in the links below if you're interested.

Google Plus profile
Youtube profile
Disqus profile (Deleted recently, most likely banned)https://disqus.com/by/pax_humana/
Facebook profile (I found it via his disqus profile. You also learn his real name there. Recently deleted.)
 
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