i wasn’t expecting this... 2/12/19

[JambledUpWords]

Mundane content:

• First day on Optavia
• Gorl tries her first feeling

Gorl pictured devouring a cranberry oat bar

• Gorl goes to Neck’s sister’s house for the day
• There’s pizza at the house but gorl isn’t hungry for pizza
• Gorl eats her lean and green meal at home instead

Gorl’s lean and green meal including ball-samic vinegar and a condom-ent on her chicken

• Second day of Optavia
• Gorl tries the dark chocolate cherry shake feeling

Gorl getting in her nutritional meal

Gorl organizes her feelings

• Third day on Optavia
• Gorl says that there was a bonfire last night with hot dogs and chips
• Gorl was sad she couldn’t eat any of it but she wasn’t hungry
• Afterwards admits to eating a cup of rice and a cup of noodles after the bonfire
• Gorl gets curious about the calorie amount
• Realizes that she’s only getting in about 900 calories a day from her feelings
• Talks to doctor and her struggles
• Decides to give Optavia another shot

• Day 8 on/off Optavia
• Realizes that Optavia isn’t for her because there are too few calories and she worries about her metabolism
• Says that this is all part of the journey and that she’s been crying a lot lately making all these observations
• Decides to go on a low calorie plan of her own and quit Optavia
• She’ll be uploading content more often now

Tl;dr Hamber weasels her way out of Optavia due to worrying about eating too little

 

[CreedenceLeonoreGielgud]

Today, in part eleventy billion of Amber Virtue Signals that She Loves Water

 

[Rabbit Bones]

I hate when I get here before people have had time to post summaries.

 

[Strine]

Eight ads. Eight.

 

[Polystyrene Glioblastoma]

-Shows off bars
-Goes to Becky's sisters house and claims to resist the temptation of pizza
-Claims to have dropped 3 lbs the first day and hopes to shed the elbees and water weight
-Says she is not having horrible cravings
-Talks about getting used to energy drop and then rise once the fat will eventually burn off on day 5
-Feeling good guize
-Likes the taste of most bars
-Gagged on the chicken soup tho
-Claims she wanted to find excuse to quit
-Had brown rice against program rules and ate 1600 calories instead of 900 cals
-OPTAVIA coach goads her to try again
-Gained weight from a cup of noodles, muh pound of sodium water weight
-Had a mini binge once she faltered
-Tried to go back to the program
-Our gorl has a cold
-Amber claims to have been crying
-OFFICIALLY DECIDES TO NOT DO OPTAVIA (Didn't even last fully more than 3 days)
-IT WOULD MESS UP MUH METABOLISM
-Says her doctor said to give it up, not enough calories
-Says a lot of things have been going on with her blood family
-"I'm gonna do more consistent weight updates"

 

[ricecake]

Quit Optavia.

 

[ADHD]

I have to eat every 2 and a half hours, gotta set my alarm for that

Fucking what? Looks like our gorl has some new arm boo-boos.

 

[Rabbit Bones]

She didn't even make it a week. I'm laughing. It must have tasted like shit if the lure of eating sugar bars five times a day couldn't even keep her in line.

 

[Clop]

I hate when I get here before people have had time to post summaries.

She's still fat.

 

[Got A Lotta Moxie]

1) Bitch, it's like one, but what did I expect from your inconsistent ass?

2) You quit already and I'm fucking cackling. Can't wait to read more comments later on.

 

[Puta Bruja]

Well color me surprised by her quitting another fad diet. WLS will be another entertaining failure.

 

[Rotogravure]

OFFICIALLY DECIDES TO NOT DO OPTAVIA
-IT WOULD MESS UP MUH METABOLISM
-Says her doctor said to give it up, not enough calories

Sure thing Gorl.

 

[Lunete]

"I have to eat every 2 and a half hours, gotta set my alarm for that"

Bitch, eating constantly is what got you into this mess.

 

[Dainty600lbGorl]

"I spoke to my doctor" Sure Jan. No doctor would say no to a blob her size restricting their calories to 900 a day.

She just got hungry on day one and decided she couldn't do it.

We all knew this was coming. Who wants to take bets on how much weight she gains in the next month, even.


Oh also, side note, no way does she weigh less than 580 lbs. If lahs were calories our gorl would have been dead years ago.

Edit- I can't spell.

 

[Salade Nicoise]

Amber. You failed. Again. Congratulations gorl.

Edit: She wasn't expecting this, but we literally all were.

 

[497]

Yeah guize, she was losing too quickly. Totally unhealthy. Her singing doctor even said this Optavia plan wasn't healthy because it's too low in calories. It'd be too hard to add in some extra calories so she has to quit. Also hard to resist pizza even though she doesn't like pizza. She did so much research yet those of us who did a quick search in less than 2 minutes could see the calories of those foods.

Her excuses are out of this moon...she says someone her size can't maintain on such low amount of calories.

 

[YourMommasBackstory]

could she go to a doctor before spending $400 on optavia?

 

[I liek fr0gs]

Let me try my hand on this.

• "Optivia/Optiva/Opti..."
• 553 elbees
• Honey NOTE Granola bar
• Gonna eat all these "feelings"
• Talks about storage of her "feelings" and how the packaging is "seeew kyewt"
• She and Becky are going to Becky's sister
• Talks about how she successfully resisted pizza at Beck's sister's house
• Shows lean and green meal
• Wakes up, February 2nd, and shows her dark chocolate cherry shake which she will taste test for y'all
• Adds more water than recommended
• 550 elbees
• Talks about water weight is bad for the heart. Sure Jan
• Day 2 and she says she doesn't have cravings since she started
• Day 3 storytime. Says she felt incredible and that she didn't feel this great in all her previous programs. She enjoyed all the tastes.
• First 3 "feelings" tasted disgusting
• "This food sucks" nearly quits
• Attends a bonfire, and resisted eating chips whatnot
• Checked calories she was ingesting and freaked out that it was just 900 cakories
• She ain't hungry y'all
• Messaged her coach she can't do it anymoar. Eats brown rice and noodles.
  
  SHE QUIT "OPTIVIA".
• Someone this big can't eat that little. lol
• Admits it was a dumb idea
• Coach tries to persuade her to continue
• She was already going binge crazy
• Gave in to it and messed up
• She will talk to her health coach about it
• February 8. Super head cold, wheezing sneezing, hard to breathe etc
• "I'm a wreck", did some "extreme crying"
• OFFICIALLY QUIT "OPTIVIA"
• Spoke to her "doctor" and this "doctor" agrees it wasn't really ideal to be eating sub-1000 cals
• Wild month so far. Promises to make more consistent updates
• Be more "there" on youtube. (lol hwat)
• "Optivia is a great program, the food is really good for you food but it just isn't for me, because 800-900 cals isn't good for me"
• Glad that her doctor agrees that it wasn't for her. Her coach is still there for her regardless
• Will upload more, just tweet her, IG DM her for what content we wanna see.

THE END

EDIT:

It amuses me to no end that suddenly she has her doctor's opinion again. lol

 

[SarahRaeBarfas]

I'm actually beginning to think she won't make it to 2020. If she gains as quickly this year as she did last... our gorl is a goner for sure.

 

[ADHD]

I wonder if she's started regretting being such a smug cunt about all the research she did on Optavia.