i wasn’t expecting this... 2/12/19

[Aldora]

Are you guaranteeing on just a hunch or is there circumstantial evidence at the very least you're assuming this from, even if it's only past experience with big AL's tendencies? I could see it from the descriptions of how she "totally turned down pizza at her gorlfriends family's place boo boo" virtue signals to the viewers in this one, tbf

In the last few years Amber has never been able to succeed at a normal calorie controlled diet, she has said herself that even if she has a good day, she will treat herself to a candy bar or other sweet thing, even when she is on a calorie controlled diet with Becky, they have both admitted to "slipping" almost everyday. On this diet Amber is eating only 5 granola bars and one "lean green" mean and based on everything that has happened before, there is zero chance that she didn't eat something else on the three days that she was on OPTAvia. Amber has no will power, none at all.

You didn't even mention stupid.

She is very stupid and ignorant, but I don't think those things are as damaging to her health as being lazy, greedy and bored.

 

[497]

In the video she made about her dietician blocking her, she admits that the only reason she lost the infamous 89 lbs was because she was eating around 900 calories a day. I guess she "forgot" about that She knows what she's doing though, guys.

it must of messed up her metabolism that's why she got so much fatter. also the exercise and walking made her gain.

when her health/sales coach told AL she could lose 200lbs in a year AL must of really thought this was a magic pill that would still allow her to eat 1000s of calories 6 times a day. She seems to know the concept of calories in and calories out but just forgot about that with optavia.

 

[Bliss]

Calling amber a liar about petty things will only fuel her self-righteousness about the haydurs. Amber is unremarkable, dumb, and weak.

She probably did talk to her doctor, but remember she has the lazy email system where she can bother her doctor all day and night while bedbound. She was fishing for an excuse out, which is why she talked to her doctor now and not before starting optavia.

She probably didn't eat the pizza at the gathering or whatever, because she bothered to brag about it like it was such a great accomplishment. She isn't smart enough to fabricate stories and make a narrative.

She doesn't even know how to be a proper cow by ending the optavia arc after 3 videos (and was originally planning for this video to be about the entire month on optavia, as if that was going to happen)

 

[RarityGORL]

At this point I think OPTAVIA might as well pay her to never mention them again.

 

[brainbarf]

So... Amber said it took every last ounce of her to try and eat the chicken soup/ not to vomit.
I’d say she should have succeeded seeing how 10000 ounces is a pretty respectable army.

I’m also kinda disappointed. Guess I hoped the optivia saga would be more entertaining. It seems like she wasn’t even trying while coming up with an excuse.

 

[IslamicContentental Belt]

Just for posterity I have attached the face AL makes when she rips a massive loud fart around the 12:20 mark and reacts to it. She edits out tons of her heavy breathing but can't seem to manage editing our ripping a massive fart or a cockroach falling out of her hair. Gorl, u nasty.

Edit @C3PBRO caught it first but this thread was scrolling faster than I could keep up.

 

[easyaf]

Didn't she admit a few videos ago during the dietitian saga that she had (supposedly) been on about 900 calories a day when she lost the infamous 89 elbees?

 

[Whatthefuck]

Calling amber a liar about petty things will only fuel her self-righteousness about the haydurs. Amber is unremarkable, dumb, and weak.

She probably did talk to her doctor, but remember she has the lazy email system where she can bother her doctor all day and night while bedbound. She was fishing for an excuse out, which is why she talked to her doctor now and not before starting optavia.

She probably didn't eat the pizza at the gathering or whatever, because she bothered to brag about it like it was such a great accomplishment. She isn't smart enough to fabricate stories and make a narrative.

She doesn't even know how to be a proper cow by ending the optavia arc after 3 videos (and was originally planning for this video to be about the entire month on optavia, as if that was going to happen)

I'm still stuck on her having a doctor via email who is willing to dispense advice and diagnoses on the fly, sight unseen. I don't get it. Maybe that's how they do it in Hicksville, but it sure as shit isn't how it's normally done. This "doctor" either doesn't exist, approached Hambert from IG, or should lose their license to practice.

 

[pecansandies]

whenever super obese people talk about doing things for "my body" i.e. "I can't do this diet because it's not good for my body", it's always reminiscent of, and said in the same tone of shit helicopter parents who do things for "my children" i.e. "as a mother, I know what's best for my children, and won't vaccinate them"

it's a wilful kind of stupidity where they think they found the "off" button for criticism. Ok, gorl...your body, your body, your body. It's super duper important to you. Sure, Jan. Your body is shutting down. Your body has two tiny scars that have been unable to heal for months. Your body is suffocating any time you try to sleep. Your body has a series of pains and aches that could be a blood clot as easily as they could be strained from hoisting up your girth. Your body's frame is distorted from being so obese for so long. Your body is slightly more mobile than a rock. Your body is rife with delusion and untreated mental illness. Your body is addicted and dependent on high sugar/high sodium/high fat garbage. Your body has an incredibly high risk of ALL cancers and heart related diseases. Your body is a ticking time bomb. Your body, from now until the end of time, will be fighting you to stay at this size, because you let it get to that point, making any kind of weight lost 10x harder than it would normally be.

But a restrictive calorie diet? Oh no...no THAT'S the line you don't cross to protect the sacred temple that is your body.

Just for posterity I have attached the face AL makes when she rips a massive loud fart around the 12:20 mark and reacts to it. She edits out tons of her heavy breathing but can't seem to manage editing our ripping a massive fart or a cockroach falling out of her hair. Gorl, u nasty.View attachment 664721

(just watch)

 

[AbraCadaver]

I always thought some of these people (inlcuding amber) were trolling, but I now know some of them really think that they are starving. Like its an exagerated survival instinct.

It’s probably because these people eat when they’re not hungry, ALL the time, so they have no idea what actual hunger feels like. When they suddenly become actually hungry, the sensation must be terrifyingly unfamiliar.

 

[Rumpled Foreskin]

>rips a wicked fart
>hardly misses a beat continuing talking about “if she doesn’t lose weight she’s going to die”

 

[497]

Just for posterity I have attached the face AL makes when she rips a massive loud fart around the 12:20 mark and reacts to it. She edits out tons of her heavy breathing but can't seem to manage editing our ripping a massive fart or a cockroach falling out of her hair. Gorl, u nasty.View attachment 664721

thumb in the back doesn't even care like it's just the usual to have AL's smelly farts.

Never heard of a doctor you could email back and forth for advice either. maybe for questions about medication if the dr. is still prescribing AL blood pressure meds? Let's not forget AL has a tendency to not tell the entire truth with these doctor talks and visits so the doctor probably told her to eat a few hundred more calories- AL took that as an excuse to drop the entire program and go back to her McDs diet.

 

[Hidden Squirrel]

Calling amber a liar about petty things will only fuel her self-righteousness about the haydurs. Amber is unremarkable, dumb, and weak.

She probably did talk to her doctor, but remember she has the lazy email system where she can bother her doctor all day and night while bedbound. She was fishing for an excuse out, which is why she talked to her doctor now and not before starting optavia.

She probably didn't eat the pizza at the gathering or whatever, because she bothered to brag about it like it was such a great accomplishment. She isn't smart enough to fabricate stories and make a narrative.

She doesn't even know how to be a proper cow by ending the optavia arc after 3 videos (and was originally planning for this video to be about the entire month on optavia, as if that was going to happen)

I totally agree. Maybe I'm naive because I've only been following her for a few months, but I don't think she outright lies a majority of the time. I think she's truthful about the weights she gives in this video, and I believe that she didn't eat the pizza.

What she doesn't say is what she ate between day 3 and day 10, so that is left up to our active imaginations. And it may just be me, but she actually looks bigger on day 8, like her face is swollen or something.

What frustrates me is that she says in advance that days 3 and 4 are supposed to be tough, but if she pushes through to day 5 she should start feeling better. I don't know why that is or how true it is, but clearly she had so little self control that she couldn't even push through for a couple of days to find out if it would get better.

Now she is back to "healthy eating" with no apparent plan in place, which is guaranteed to not work, because any actual healthy eating she does is undone by binges on other days.

I'm actually kind of proud of her for uploading all this footage even though it reflects terribly on her. I'm glad that we get to see her on camera makin excuses and coming up with reasons that this program won't work for her. She even meets with her "coach" to discuss how to increase calories while staying on the program, so "too low calorie" isn't even a viable excuse. Besides, the reason she got so excited for the diet was the prospect of losing 200 pounds in a year, and the only way to do that is to eat super low calorie. But whatever excuse works for her. Now she can happily indulge in whatever she wants until she realizes she's gained another 20 pounds and comes crying to us about how hard weight loss is.

 

[Big Al's Crusty Sty]

I bet the bon fire was when Big Al was ordering Becky around & when Becky’s sister met the Binge Monster for the first time. That’s probably what started the family drama.

 

[AbraCadaver]

She lasted a day and a half longer than I thought and she spent an ungodly amount on food she’ll now throw out. What a punter.

 

[Whatthefuck]

I totally agree. Maybe I'm naive because I've only been following her for a few months, but I don't think she outright lies a majority of the time. I think she's truthful about the weights she gives in this video, and I believe that she didn't eat the pizza.

What she doesn't say is what she ate between day 3 and day 10, so that is left up to our active imaginations. And it may just be me, but she actually looks bigger on day 8, like her face is swollen or something.

What frustrates me is that she says in advance that days 3 and 4 are supposed to be tough, but if she pushes through to day 5 she should start feeling better. I don't know why that is or how true it is, but clearly she had so little self control that she couldn't even push through for a couple of days to find out if it would get better.

Now she is back to "healthy eating" with no apparent plan in place, which is guaranteed to not work, because any actual healthy eating she does is undone by binges on other days.

I'm actually kind of proud of her for uploading all this footage even though it reflects terribly on her. I'm glad that we get to see her on camera makin excuses and coming up with reasons that this program won't work for her. She even meets with her "coach" to discuss how to increase calories while staying on the program, so "too low calorie" isn't even a viable excuse. Besides, the reason she got so excited for the diet was the prospect of losing 200 pounds in a year, and the only way to do that is to eat super low calorie. But whatever excuse works for her. Now she can happily indulge in whatever she wants until she realizes she's gained another 20 pounds and comes crying to us about how hard weight loss is.

Gorl, no. Hambert lies for the fun of it. She will lie about anything big (heh) or small. Her entire existence is built on lies. The only time I believe her reported weights is when she's crowing about them. She didn't crow about this program the entire time she was actually (supposedly) on it. That's an instant tell for our gorl. She's uploaded this footage because she needs the cash. That's all there is to it. She's a habitual liar so everything that comes out of that duck lipped pout must be taken with the largest grain of salt you can find. This is why we follow our gorl, to see what hot dumpster fire she falls face first into next. She is only consistent about her pattern, which we've cracked the code on, and lying through her crooked teeth.

 

[AbraCadaver]

Gorl, no. Hambert lies for the fun of it. She will lie about anything big (heh) or small. Her entire existence is built on lies. The only time I believe her reported weights is when she's crowing about them. She didn't crow about this program the entire time she was actually (supposedly) on it. That's an instant tell for our gorl. She's uploaded this footage because she needs the cash. That's all there is to it. She's a habitual liar so everything that comes out of that duck lipped pout must be taken with the largest grain of salt you can find. This is why we follow our gorl, to see what hot dumpster fire she falls face first into next. She is only consistent about her pattern, which we've cracked the code on, and lying through her crooked teeth.

Don’t have to go far from AL to find the biggest grain of salt. She eats so much sodium her blood has been mapped as an ocean. Little tiny people picnic on the banks of her arteries like a day at Brighton. If you hold her foot to your ear you can hear the tides.

 

[Faggot Gift]

I got an ad on the video for a protein bar company "GoMacro" that started out "Now this... is BIG."

Yes I know adblock is a thing

EDIT:

The only thing I can't really tell from the reviews of this, is it a must watch for kiwifarms haydurs or can I skip it and just enjoy the thread summaries without missing much? I tend to think it might be worth a double speed watch but she's been grinding my gears something fierce these last few months while the manic phase ramps up higher too, so I don't know, some haydur's going to skim the cream from the top of this tard cum in vlog form at some point anyway...

Try to really immerse yourself in the Amber experience. Smoke a pack of cigarettes to get a rough idea what it must be like to breathe as Amber all day every day, don't forget your orange chicken

 

[Botched Tit Job]

I can't be fucked to find it again but I saw a study (scientific, peer-reviewed) that long term fasting (<1200cal/day) maybe lowers your metabolism by 70 calories a day. And even then, that repairs itself over time. And if she was that fucking worried, she could have added a cliff bar and a bit more chicken and easily hit 1300.

She just missed orange chicken and Reese's cups and panicked. That's all this is.

 

[497]

there are studies that say calorie restriction extends lifespans...so that would of been a problem for our gorl. https://www.lifeextension.com/Protocols/Lifestyle-Longevity/Caloric-Restriction/Page-01