- Joined
- Aug 24, 2014
(Archived)
TL;DR - Slingblade leaves because Phil is a filthy, greedy pig. And the last straw was that Phil told him that he really really got a gun, and Slingblade worries one of Slingblade's own "alters" will use that gun to commit suicide.
TL;DR - Slingblade leaves because Phil is a filthy, greedy pig. And the last straw was that Phil told him that he really really got a gun, and Slingblade worries one of Slingblade's own "alters" will use that gun to commit suicide.

I need to begin by stating that the person in this thread –we'll call them Ari (NOT their real name)– saved me from certain homelessness almost 3 years ago.
For weeks on end, I did just about everything Ari asked of me, and even after that I tried to get to a point where I felt okay /not/ doing things for them because I was tired of trying to repay the kindness Ari afforded me by the rescue. I was put on the lease after the first two months and for two years we had a very nice and wonderful platonic relationship.
This has been my home, and I feel truly bad that it has gotten to the point where I now feel compelled to leave due to circumstances I cannot control.
But before we get there I must state a few irritating things that were early warning signs that this arrangement was doomed to failure almost since it began.
I have an odd quirk, you see. Whomever I live with, I will tend to take on their outward characteristics. If they're a neat freak, I'll be neater. If they're messy, I'll wax that way.
Ari is the latter.
Things do get bad to a point where I'll rage-clean, so the place is never horrid, but I also refuse to be someone's maid. No matter how many times I complain to them about things like… simply putting empty food boxes in the recycle bin, food boxes will be on the counter.
Ari will buy food I cannot eat due to my dietary restrictions (so we can't share that) but then Ari will eat food I buy specifically for myself. All this was a mere annoyance at first, but it never changed. And even so I still feel guilty if I don't occasionally share food.
Ari did save me from homelessness, after all.
//guns// But recently we had a lengthy discussion about weapons, specifically firearms for personal protection. My stepfather owned guns, so it's not like I've never been around them. He taught me gun safety when I was 8.
TW: Suicidal ideation mentions from here on: The biggest difference between then and now is the fact that when I get suicidal, it's far more intense than it was when I was a closeted trans teen. My stepdad kept his guns in a locked trunk, and he and my mom had the only two keys on their key rings. He also had trigger locks and case locks on many, so I could be suicidal without a firearm handy.
I told Ari all of this.
Considering the political climate we live in, the constant hatred of trans people, and the fact that we both were victims of cyberstalking, literal stalking, and harassment, I could fathom why they'd feel the need for one.
I told Ari not to get one, however.
I told them that I wouldn't feel safe with a firearm in the house. Not because I don't know how to handle one, mind you… but because I do.
I also know I suffer from DID, an one of my head-mates (when triggered) is intent on destroying me. A gun in the house would guarantee that outcome. We went back and forth for weeks before I told Ari they could get a gun on ONE condition: THAT I NEVER KNOW ABOUT IT.
This ended the discussion.
Until about a month ago.
I don't know what the hell Ari was thinking but they told me they owned a firearm, and had for two months.
This was a critical upset of the balance we maintained, not only as roommates, but also the internal balance in my head.
Now whenever Ari leaves, I have to fight with myself not to look for wherever they may have said weapon. I have lost that battle on occasion.
I haven't found it, but my concern is the fact that I might. There are 6 personalities in this DID System, and one is VERY suicidal, and another doesn't give a rat's ass about consequences.
These are NOT who I want in control if or when the firearm is located. Whenever Ari leaves, this delicate DID system fixates on the damned gun, and I am constantly at war with myself. It is primarily for this reason that I need to move out.
I have a place to move to. It's in the Midwest with a roommate I've lived with before. My body isn't what it once was, and my recent back (re)injury proves I need to hire people to help me move. To that end, I have created the following TransCrowdFund: (Plumfund e-begging page redacted)
Living here is no longer an option and I'd like to be able to move during that period of time when the weather is mostly good for driving from the PNW to the Great Lakes region. I thank Ari for what she's done for me, but I can't do this anymore
(He posts his Plumfund e-begging page again)