Tesshollidaysflupaknees
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2018
I wonder if the Cheesecake Factory will cater big AL's funeral. 
Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.
- Thread starter PiggyPie
- Start date
Chapterhouse
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2019
If they did they would have to have a second funeral that day as well. Becky would eat herself to death during the service, stuffing cheesecake down her gullet to numb the pain of losing Big Al.I wonder if the Cheesecake Factory will cater big AL's funeral.
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2019
like a two for one deal. The cost of the food alone to cater to the kentucky lesbian mafia would negate any benefit for hosting one of the worlds wonder's funeral.
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2019
I don’t know where to post this but I can’t get it out of my head how much our gorl resembles Luna from Bear in the Big Blue House.
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2018
Fun fact: the 2018 top rated sumo wrestler Kakuryu Rikisaburo weighs 350 lbs.
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2018
Queen Kimberly
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 23, 2018
Yeah gorl, so slimming!
Edit; Sorry for the terrible formatting, I took the screenshots from that cunty Facebook group.
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2018
Oh, I see. She thinks that people are saying she needs help because she gained weight between pictures. She's claiming she hasn't, and just looks smaller because of the color.
She's missing the fact that EITHER photo ought to be enough to inspire you to do literally anything to save your life.
Dumb or deluded? Hrmm...
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2019
She's so deep in denial, it's depressingly funny. Black is slimming on someone 10-20lbs overweight. When you're the size of a house, wearing black just makes you into a massive black hole.
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2018
Seems to be a combination of denial and defense mechanism. Just like on her younows someone will suggest she needs help or mention how much bigger she looks and she will say "I mean trueeee lez be real" and laugh with Eric.
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2018
Get it straight, shitlords! Amber's channel isn't just about the fact that she's super-morbidly obese and is dying from a multitude of obesity-related illnesses!
It's also about her hobbies which include:
- Eating
- Sitting on her bed, thinking about eating
- Conspicuous consumption
I'm certain we can expect a triumphant update on her "100 day challenge" any old day now, because if there's one thing we know for sure it's that calorie counting and consistency are her strong suits! It's what works for her, Honey-Boo-Boo!
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2019
Wow, the disrespect. Don't do my girl Luna like this.
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2016
She needs to take up knitting. It will keep both of her hands from feeding her face.
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2016
I can't wait for our gorl to publish the next Great American Novel, since she's so busy with her "hobbies" which include wrideeeeen. Considering how much spare time she has, by now she should have been able to write a worthy successor to Lolita.
The novel will be a triumph of imagination: the protagonist is a dainty gorl who is slightly overweight (only 400lbs, but she still fits a size 6) and her trials and tribulations as menfolk attack each other in the streets in jealous rages over her as she imperiously scootypuffs past them - unfortunately for them, she's totally a lezbeeen! The narrative climax comes when a horde of online haydurs start harassing her out of envy (what other reason could there be?) but they're defeated and destroyed by her lethal combination of giving incredulous excuses for weight gain, wearing piano covers with basic bitch slogans on them, uploading filtered SC stories disproving her own claims of dieting, and calling her detractors "boo boo". The book, titled A Clockwork Orange Chicken, will win every Pulitzer prize of the year including the ones for non-literary categories and then Amber will spend the profits on more floral horse blankets she doesn't fit into.
The novel will be a triumph of imagination: the protagonist is a dainty gorl who is slightly overweight (only 400lbs, but she still fits a size 6) and her trials and tribulations as menfolk attack each other in the streets in jealous rages over her as she imperiously scootypuffs past them - unfortunately for them, she's totally a lezbeeen! The narrative climax comes when a horde of online haydurs start harassing her out of envy (what other reason could there be?) but they're defeated and destroyed by her lethal combination of giving incredulous excuses for weight gain, wearing piano covers with basic bitch slogans on them, uploading filtered SC stories disproving her own claims of dieting, and calling her detractors "boo boo". The book, titled A Clockwork Orange Chicken, will win every Pulitzer prize of the year including the ones for non-literary categories and then Amber will spend the profits on more floral horse blankets she doesn't fit into.
wommart rat
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2019
Love it, but there are way too many literary references in this post for AL’s fat noggin to comprehend. Pretty sure she gets all her books from Walmart, and they’re mostly for show. She’s a book nerd girl who has somehow never read Harry Potter.
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2016
Look, if she could go on a quiz show and somehow get the category "garbage Wommart novels aimed at 12yos about dainty lesbians" then she'd make it through at least two rounds. I feel like she's read at least enough to have a delusional idea about her own literary talent, but then again she also claims to be a poet and she knows nothing whatsoever about poetry except that it's supposed to rhyme and using words like "shimmer" makes the poem better. I don't want to blame American high school arts education being completely about ?your own speshul creativity? rather than studying great art to learn what constitutes it, but apart from Amber being a narc moron I think that's the reason.
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2018
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2019
You're right and now I can't unsee it. Pretty sure Amberlynn has a stronger gravitational pull tho
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2018
Amber is furiously sassing the haydurs on Twitter right now, letting all of her glorious personalities have a chance to shine!
She's been using E.L.F. for YEARS guise, so she's JUST like Jeffree!
I mean, she does wear the same pants/shoes/bra in every video, but I guess that inconvenient fact is lost on our gorl. Apparently if she didn't buy tons of suuuper cyuuute ill-fitting tops that she'll never wear, her viewers would riot! Take that, haydurs!
And finally we have:
Sure, she purposefully and knowingly chose to go over her calories with cheesy carbs and badgered Becky into getting McDonalds within a few days of starting her 100-day challenge, but DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A MOTHER FUCKIN BINGE IS??? How dare you question her authoritah!
She is suuuper PROUD of herself, you assholes! DON'T RUIN THIS FOR HER!!!
She's been using E.L.F. for YEARS guise, so she's JUST like Jeffree!
I mean, she does wear the same pants/shoes/bra in every video, but I guess that inconvenient fact is lost on our gorl. Apparently if she didn't buy tons of suuuper cyuuute ill-fitting tops that she'll never wear, her viewers would riot! Take that, haydurs!
And finally we have:
Sure, she purposefully and knowingly chose to go over her calories with cheesy carbs and badgered Becky into getting McDonalds within a few days of starting her 100-day challenge, but DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A MOTHER FUCKIN BINGE IS??? How dare you question her authoritah!
She is suuuper PROUD of herself, you assholes! DON'T RUIN THIS FOR HER!!!
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2017
‚Hey Amber you just kicked that puppy in the face‘
‚YEAH?! But I did it on PURPOSE!
Normally I kick other kittens, too.
But today I ONLY kicked that puppy.
So that‘s a huge victory for me!!‘
‚That.... doesn‘t make it better.‘
‚YEAH?! But I did it on PURPOSE!
Normally I kick other kittens, too.
But today I ONLY kicked that puppy.
So that‘s a huge victory for me!!‘
‚That.... doesn‘t make it better.‘