DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Dragoonism]

From pre-stream 28-03-19

So on the upcoming AtK he wants people to ask him political questions since there is so much going on in the world and people surely wants his opinion on things.
HINTArticle 13HINT

Yes, thats right people, he is going to stream his entire birthday, he is going to be there for everyone and work hard on his birthday!
What else is he supposed to do in his unsocial and lazy life?

He supposedly got $20 000 in fake tips over the last few days and he needs to find another service instead of Muxy, but he didnt have time to do it yesterday since he had to make a ton of phone calls related to his trip to CT and then he and Kat went out the entire day to do... Stuff and tweeted a little.
As always he struggles with sounding busy and/or creative, can't come up with more than 1-2 things despite claiming to have done a ton!

He is going to research a new service at night later this week!
Phil: Someone on KoH, Twitter or Stream, please tell me a new good and easy to use service!

Now it isn't just "If you wanna see me continue stream and get free videos", he have now added "If you wanna see me keep my HOUSE!!!, if you dont wanna see me sell my house!"
How about cutting down on your expenses?

He had a ton of people tipping him during his day off, a total of 2 people!

He was in a car crash in high school that almost killed him and burned half his face!
Nice severe burn scars that just vanish!

But apparently almost dying and getting severely burned wasn't the worst, but his herniated disc that almost made him paralyzed waist down!
Good God some Seattle air fixed that...

No one wanna hear the pre-stream music while he is playing.
Who wanna hear it during the pre-stream?

He was ranked 5th in the entire world in MvC1 in the last major tournament held for the game.
X-Men vs. Street Fighter or Marvel vs. Capcom: Clash of Super Heroes?

He learn about his back problem for the first time in 2008!
Perfectly timed for his YT career!

His dad now have a serious back injury that he suffers from!

VR is a failure since someone didn't tell him about a new VR game and he can't play VR games since he is a interactive streamer who must see his chat constantly!
He needs to see the tips and mod the chat since he mods don't care anymore!

Sekiro is only about parry, unlike DS where you have to look for opening when fighting bosses.
Unlike DS where you can tank up and cheese the game easily...

He thinks that Vita is the biggest flop of consoles since it was more expensive and had only one game P4 Golden, but he hasn't seen any sales numbers.
Sales numbers? When did he start to care about that?

His channel is growing since he have about 530 subs and few gifted subs!

Pre-stream time:
Music 20 min
Talking 1 hour
Bathroom break 5 min
Total 1h 25 min

 

[EmperorGoutatine]

A blindman gave DSP $100 the other day.

Just sums up DSP's paypigs at this point.

 

[ZehnBoat]

Beside the fact he hoping for those day one views, he knows nothing about sports

what the fuck dood, the giants are in california? but they're called the new york giants! that's bullshit dood!!!

So Phil was driving on a "dangerous" road. A lunatic ran him off the road into a ditch. The insane driver also hit him since Phil said it was a "hit and and run". The driver sped off and was never caught. Phil's door crumpled and his car somehow burst into flames like in a movie. Phil's head got burnt but there is no scar tissue. Phil almost died and when his mom came to the ER to see him, she just scolded him for driving on that specific road. Phil then sued the driver who was never caught and got a huge settlement. This accident caused his back injury except when it was caused by playing touch football or by having to wear a backpack in elementary school.

if he was almost dead and put in the ER he probably wasn't awake or able to do anything about the flames
and yet he still has hair despite his head being on fire and most likely stuck in the car until someone pulled him out and put it out

but his mom combs his hair badly once and he gets a bald spot

 

[Equinox_]

what the fuck dood, the giants are in california? but they're called the new york giants! that's bullshit dood!!!


if he was almost dead and put in the ER he probably wasn't awake or able to do anything about the flames
and yet he still has hair despite his head being on fire and most likely stuck in the car until someone pulled him out and put it out

but his mom combs his hair badly once and he gets a bald spot

The doctors had a bottle of Seattle air on standby that was just enough to fix any scarring that could take place. Unfortunately not enough to fix his back until he moved there.

 

[actually]

He supposedly got $20 000 in fake tips over the last few days and he needs to find another service instead of Muxy, but he didnt have time to do it yesterday since he had to make a ton of phone calls related to his trip to CT and then he and Kat went out the entire day to do... Stuff and tweeted a little.

This excuse is especially funny given that he was tweeting shit out at 2:30 AM.

His channel is growing since he have about 530 subs and few gifted subs!

He has 60+ gifted subs this month. His "real" sub count is still in the 450ish region it always is.

 

[Agent Proper]

Sounds like someone needs attention.

 

[Freshtodeath]

why is he making phone calls? all he has to do is book a flight and hotel which you can do online.

Re back injury lore: Some people believe his back injury was exaggerated so he could continue getting settlements from the car crash. That's why when he moved out of the state of CT his back was miraculously cured. That is just speculation though. I feel like it's possible he does have an injury based on how he waddles.

 

[JMR]

I tuned in to the second half of the MLB stream to see him whiff badly. (Gif is the replay.) When he made contact, the ball went foul or at best opposite field, his timing was so off even two hours in.

Another time the ball was fouled tipped and he was so confused. Something like 'It made the sound of the ball getting hit, but it didn't show the ball go anywhere.'

Then a batter grounds into double play with Phil (Jaques DeCoque) on first. "Nothing I could do." (Actually true this time.)

But there is something way more honest about him with this create-a-player. In other games, it's got Phil running up and down the basketball court, jacking up threes. Or getting slammed by his opponents and powerbombing them in return. Here, he's taking his hacks and trotting (waddling) to first base: it's fine. And the way he's slouched in his loveseat between at-bats, complaining about the game... just like a baseball player who struck out and has to sit in the dugout. Perfect.

 

[Sparkletor]

Sounds like someone needs attention.View attachment 707289View attachment 707290

BREAKING NEWS!

POLICE HARASS BLACK MAN IN DOWNTOWN CHICAGO!

SWATTING AND GAY OPS TO BLAME! THERE COULD BE NO OTHER POSSIBILITY!

 

[That Damned Tiger]

Farms back?
View attachment 705423
Phil's attempt at a dab.

Somehow less capable of dabbing than even Chris Chan.

 

[bearsintrees]

I thought that dab emote tweet was a goof, but no. Behold this wonderful emote that you can pay $5 to have and share with all your favorite streamers and online friends.

"my arms are skinny cause they're super long"

 

[Dragoonism]

This excuse is especially funny given that he was tweeting shit out at 2:30 AM.

What makes it even more fun is that he claimed he was out with Kat to 10 pm, then he tweeted a little and they went to bed...

 

[N0thingICanDo]

So Phil is streaming TWD last episode and the main female character just kissed a girl, effectively reminded the audience who may or may not watch Phil's previous TWD playthrough that Phil made a series of choices so that the main character became Lesbian, chat reacted

Sing with me and press F for Khet please,


"Im Gay Im Gay Im Gay, Totalllllllllyyyyyy Gay"

 

[Sparkletor]

What makes it even more fun is that he claimed he was out with Kat to 10 pm, then he tweeted a little and they went to bed...

All you junior detectives forgot one thing...

Phil's tweets say they were made at 2am but you are not taking into account the Twitter online lag. Also since Phil was originally from Connecticut, his phone (like his PS4 Pro) doesn't realise he moved and is 3 hours ahead of his real time. They were probably made at 11pm and then straight to beddie bye.

Either that or Phil is lying. Probably Twitter lag.

 

[That Damned Tiger]

I thought that dab emote tweet was a goof, but no. Behold this wonderful emote that you can pay $5 to have and share with all your favorite streamers and online friends.

View attachment 707344

"my arms are skinny cause they're super long"

Phil's more fat than muscle. To call him just another fat guy does disservice to fat guys who could very well have more tone than he does.

So Phil is streaming TWD last episode and the main female character just kissed a girl, effectively reminded the audience who may or may not watch Phil's previous TWD playthrough that Phil made a series of choices so that the main character became Lesbian, chat reacted

View attachment 707351View attachment 707352View attachment 707353


Sing with me and press F for Khet please,


"Im Gay Im Gay Im Gay, Totalllllllllyyyyyy Gay"


View attachment 707354

Phil makes women gay, because of course he can.

 

[Preferred Penne]

View attachment 707318

I tuned in to the second half of the MLB stream to see him whiff badly. (Gif is the replay.) When he made contact, the ball went foul or at best opposite field, his timing was so off even two hours in.

Another time the ball was fouled tipped and he was so confused. Something like 'It made the sound of the ball getting hit, but it didn't show the ball go anywhere.'

Then a batter grounds into double play with Phil (Jaques DeCoque) on first. "Nothing I could do." (Actually true this time.)

But there is something way more honest about him with this create-a-player. In other games, it's got Phil running up and down the basketball court, jacking up threes. Or getting slammed by his opponents and powerbombing them in return. Here, he's taking his hacks and trotting (waddling) to first base: it's fine. And the way he's slouched in his loveseat between at-bats, complaining about the game... just like a baseball player who struck out and has to sit in the dugout. Perfect.

I watched the TIHYDP of MLB 14 and he was constantly swinging out in front of off-speed pitches that were about a foot out of the strike zone, and he would whine "I CAN'T HIT DUH BWAAAHHLLL!!"

Or he would be totally confused by a submarine pitcher and call him "a cheating asshole who doesn't know how to throw".

 

[actually]

I watched the TIHYDP of MLB 14 and he was constantly swinging out in front of off-speed pitches that were about a foot out of the strike zone, and he would whine "I CAN'T HIT DUH BWAAAHHLLL!!"

Or he would be totally confused by a submarine pitcher and call him "a cheating asshole who doesn't know how to throw".

Then boy howdy will you be glad to find out that the same shit is still true, even though Phil is playing on fucking beginner difficulty. That difficulty appears to make it so the AI will never purposefully throw a pitch outside of the strike zone. And Phil still routinely whiffs.

He also was completely thrown off by a sidearmer.

 

[Preferred Penne]

Then boy howdy will you be glad to find out that the same shit is still true, even though Phil is playing on fucking beginner difficulty. That difficulty appears to make it so the AI will never purposefully throw a pitch outside of the strike zone. And Phil still routinely whiffs.

He also was completely thrown off by a sidearmer.

If all he wants to do is hit home runs, he should just play Home Run Derby. I remember the fucker bragging and showing off about hitting a home run in BATTING PRACTICE.

 

[leChinkyRaccoon]

Then boy howdy will you be glad to find out that the same shit is still true, even though Phil is playing on fucking beginner difficulty. That difficulty appears to make it so the AI will never purposefully throw a pitch outside of the strike zone. And Phil still routinely whiffs.

He also was completely thrown off by a sidearmer.

Truth be told, back in the day, on the East Coast, Connecticut, if you pitched like that you'd get taken out behind the baseball diamond and get your fucking teeth kicked in.

 

[Prince Lotor]

why is he making phone calls? all he has to do is book a flight and hotel which you can do online.

Re back injury lore: Some people believe his back injury was exaggerated so he could continue getting settlements from the car crash. That's why when he moved out of the state of CT his back was miraculously cured. That is just speculation though. I feel like it's possible he does have an injury based on how he waddles.

No, the way he waddles is caused by his posture, the term for this posture is lumbar lordosis http://telespine.com/could-hyperlordosis-be-causing-you-low-back-pain/
Here are some things that can cause lumbar lordosis

• habitually poor posture
• obesity, especially where the excess fat is found mainly in the abdomen or front of the torso (yes, big tits can effect this too)
• weak abdominal muscles (Phil recently admitted he hasn't done a single push-up since before the 2010's; I guarantee you he has never done any kind of core strengthening exercise)
• a sedentary lifestyle, such as an office worker (especially one who spends all their freetime sitting as well)

Here's a good picture of what lumbar lordosis looks like, along with other images of postures that are out of alignment, note your knees are fully straight-legged locked in this posture, try to emulate it and walk around http://www.ennisphysioclinic.ie/m.posture.html

Lordosis due to weak muscles causes the muscles in your low back to tighten for long periods of time to try to stabalize the spine. This would cause you to have difficulty standing for long periods of time due to the posture. It can cause back pain, numbness, tingling, muscle weakness, spasms, . . .literally all the things Phil would cry about.

Recent spinal health research has found that a herniated disk is frequently a red herring when it comes to the discovery of the source of a patients back pain. In up to 70 to 80% of subjects scanned during a study of elderly patients they had a herniated disk (sometimes multiple) with absolutely no back pain, so the idea that Phil had back pain show up out of nowhere, received an MRI, and was told he had a mildly herniated disk that was causing all of this is exactly the kind of methodology that recent research has found erroneous.

I'm not exaggerating when I say ALL of his back problems are caused by exceptionally poor muscle tone and a hyper-sedentary lifestyle. Phil's claim that his "back-stretcher saved his life and allowed his disc to move back in place" is more that the stretching was actually healthy physical activity, he never actually had another MRI to confirm any changes to his disk, he just did some physical activity that relieved tension in his chronically tightened lumbar muscles.
His "shifting his weight to relieve pressure on my disk" is not how a herniated disk works, a herniated disk is bulging out past your vertebrate, shifting back and forth would cause the vertebrate above and below said disk to crunch over and over onto the part of the disk bulging out between them. This actually points to his bulging disk not being the cause of his back pain. If his bulging disk was the cause of his pain putting it into traction is what relieves pressure on it, shifting back and forth does not change the amount of force your spine is operating under, what it does do is artificially kick him out of the chronically terrible standing posture he has for the duration of the movement.
Literally all he needed to do was make a commitment to even a modicum of physical fitness through stretching, core strengthening, and some elevated heart rate cardio and he never would have had the issues he did, and probably still does he just doesn't notice do to living his creedo to the letter "Nothing I could do" by doing less physical activity than an actual coma patient in a long-term care facility receives.

I just think it's hilarious that due to Phil being such a lazy dumbfuck he had issues with pain and muscle spasms, thinks he has "driving anxiety" causing "panic attacks", refuses to drive a car for long periods of time or at speeds even approaching 45mph, has essentially become a shut-in, and requires a carer to leave his house because he refuses to do a sit-up or a 5 minute stretching routine. T-posing is his entire physical fitness routine.