Lovequest Misc Colin Communications - Updated

[Thetan]

I'm creating this thread to post miscellaneous communications between Chris and Colin.

The first set of text messages were sent right after Catie told Chris that she definitely didn't want to be involved in a romantic relationship with him, and that she was going to be seeing Colin (and probably sleeping with him). (Again, remember that Catie had never made any sort of commitment to Chris, she had a more "wait and lets see where things go" kind of attitude. After Chris's reaction to her weekend in NYC, Catie very firmly decided that she couldn't be in a romantic relationship with Chris.)

I am not going to try and justify these exchanges with Colin: they weren't helpful or productive in any way, they were merely for shits 'n grins. This is the main reason I abandoned Colin: he didn't serve any real purpose, except as an antagonist/foil for Chris, and I just didn't want to keep going there. Still, I think Chris's responses are funny, which is why I'm sharing.

I'll post more of these exchanges as I find them.

 

[Someone in a Tree]

You magnificent bastard. "Yeah, I may have a penis, but I do have a taint piercing. Bet you feel silly now, city boy."

 

[Kacho]

"Why don't you get on your motorcycle and join your bully brothers at the bar in the desert."

Chris needs to stop fucking watching tv.

 

[CatParty]

 

[Zamininc]

'I'm sleeping with your girl'

"HONOR ROLL!!!"

 

[Thetan]

I found the voice mails that preceded this text exchange. The first one was sent at fucking 3 something AM, which is why Colin was so pissy with Chris. The second one was a follow-up.

 

[SnergenFlergen]

 

[Someone in a Tree]

Chris thinking that listing his minor scholastic achievements will impress someone with a doctorate = Classic CWC

 

[Francis York Morgan]

This is the main reason I abandoned Colin: he didn't serve any real purpose, except as an antagonist/foil for Chris, and I just didn't want to keep going there.

Plus, it's the reaction a normal "outsider" would have to something like Chris. Colin says his piece and then goes on with his life.

 

[Cheeseburger Picnic]

"And I would take a shove up mine from her as well, regardless of the discomforting Pain up my intestine it would give me."

Take a shove up mine is a great CWCism. Also he really should have been paying attention during high school anatomy class instead of drawing naked ladies having sex with sonichu.

Edit: Also, am I just missing a bunch of references or is the whole second half of Chris's side of the dialogue random generator word salad?

 

[Le Bateleur]

Colin never told Chris that he was Batman, or said Julaaay. Or was there another character for that?

 

[axcel]

Yeah, I'm glad the Colin character was retired. I agree, he was way too weenish.

That being said: it's hilarious at the character flaws Chris chose to project onto Colin while knowing so little about him. He's wealthy and in good physical shape, so he MUST be "phony and superficial."

 

[DeadMansHand]

I like how Chris interprets "What the fuck are you talking about?" to mean that he's so "well read and knowledges enough to overshadow [their] pseudo=intellect"

Because referencing Quinn Morgandorffer is the height of intellect.

 

[cahoots]

"Maybe I'll lend you the dildo so you can shove it up yours."

Ok that was kinda funny good job Chris.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Hah! In that last voicemail we have a rare last-minute autism override:
"Have a g-- fair day."

"Nuclear-Stained Rubbish" is now how I refer to the barbage of 14BC.

 

[A Whole Block of Cheese]

"you've had 'the good life' growing up, with all this money falling into your lap."
Fuck off.

 

[lisaface]

So much craziness in there. He washes his hair while taking a bath? He'd let Catie stick a dildo up his ass? He's seen Yellow Submarine?!?

I searched the character he was comparing to Colin when talking about how they both laugh about things that are "so last year", and that character is from the TV show Daria (1997-2002).

I love that Bill Cosby is his first choice of a male who's "actually decent and respectable."

 

[Roosechu]

C R I N G E

 

[slep]

Chris went from calling his penis a "duck" to "ugly growth". Who says that Chris never changes?

 

[VenomPlug]

"Organ Sex Change Operation!" No Chris. No legal surgical clinic would approve you in your current physical and mental condition. Changing your gender is not as easy as changing your