Bryan Dunn / King of /pol/ (KoP) / The Armed Toast / The Exceptional Detective / BoomerPhil - Severely paranoid thin-skinned attention whore with hate/real boner for Ralph, Null, Jim, BSV, etc. "Right kind of gay" and "verified female". Legally banned from KF, 14 socks and counting, LOST A FIGHT TO THE GUNT OF ALL PEOPLE

Shaka Brah said:
Holy shit, thanks @Perspicacity for that. Did she actually marry Bryan or nah? Because that statement is clearly a cry for attention from weev. She obviously wants to get him back.
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Some quotes from our man Bryan "My ex girlfriend was crazy dude, fucking super crazy." "She stole my dog and pulled a gun on me." "She's still good friends with Ralph". Yea I'm gonna guess they never got married.
 
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Perspicacity said:
Some quotes from our man Bryan "My ex girlfriend was crazy dude, fucking super crazy." "She stole my dog and pulled a gun on me." "She's still good friends with Ralph". Yea I'm gonna guess they never got married.
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I love the opening to that article. Ralph should be actively shopping that one around to the UK papers in preparation for political hit pieces on Sargon

neural said:
Search for the term married in this thread, you will love the results. :story:
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The first page of results is descriptions of the kinds of dicks Bry Bry likes. I don't know why I expected anything else
 
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instythot said:
The first page of results is descriptions of the kinds of dicks Bry Bry likes. I don't know why I expected anything else
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OK I quoted the relevant part below, the whole post is probably a good read, as it's a complete timeline of Bryan's autism right up to the point where Metokur drags him out of the closet in front of 10,000s of viewers.

I really need to sit down and update it some time this week.

neural said:
One of the more bizarre incidents happens, in which it was revealed that the woman that Bryan continually claimed to be married to is actually his ex-girlfriend now and was never married to him, which is revealed via her very public rebuke. Bryan is roundly ridiculed here, cries "plz no bully" and eventually pledges to leave, hilariously, he returns with a sock made in the very same day, which is discovered almost immediately. Said sock is @LongJohn_loves_Silver .
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Perspicacity said:
So this is why you've been so busy Bryan, was wondering where you were. I thought you didn't want an internet presence??? That's not totally hypocritical or anything. Lookin tubby and unshaven, still cute though ?.

youtu.be

Warski at Busch Gardens with Alex & Dan - $3 TTS/ $7 Media

Support on Stream: https://streamlabs.com/warskiwahooski
youtu.be youtu.be

Broke Bryan couldn't get in the theme park.
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The surreal moment, Gamegate 2.0 has begun. Things got gayer than you can ever imagine, I gotta say good job, Bryan was entertained.
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Seriously though I need an explanation of this shit @Bryan Dunn . I never expected to see you on a fucking random irl live stream with Andy.
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Good god, this has got to be some of the cringiest shit I've ever seen. I know e-celeb meetups IRL rarely ever turn out well, but who the fuck seriously spends ten minutes in an IRL conversation in a public setting sperging about fucking GamerGate? In 2019?
 
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neural said:
OK I quoted the relevant part below, the whole post is probably a good read, as it's a complete timeline of Bryan's autism right up to the point where Metokur drags him out of the closet in front of 10,000s of viewers.

I really need to sit down and update it some time this week.
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Good God. I forgot how many threads there are devoted to Bry Bry crying about both being a cow and also at the very same time, not being treated with the utmost respect on a world wide Web site devoted to laughing at cows

I know he's not prolific enough as a cow for this, but is there any justification for making a subforum for Bry Bry just to keep all of these threads in one place?
 
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neural said:
I really need to sit down and update it some time this week.
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Good idea. Also, can we make this post OP or add it to the OP? OP has 0 information and the only links, that work are the reddit ones (and of course nothing was archived). Also, after accounts merging it looks... Surreal.
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instythot said:
Good God. I forgot how many threads there are devoted to Bry Bry crying about both being a cow and also at the very same time, not being treated with the utmost respect on a world wide Web site devoted to laughing at cows

I know he's not prolific enough as a cow for this, but is there any justification for making a subforum for Bry Bry just to keep all of these threads in one place?
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I don't know, he doesn't generate enough milk for subforum-tier cow. Maybe we can ask moderators to merge those threads with this one, although I'm not sure the end result is going to be easy to read.
 
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JuanButNotForgotten said:
Good idea. Also, can we make this post OP or add it to the OP? OP has 0 information and the only links, that work are the reddit ones (and of course nothing was archived). Also, after accounts merging it looks... Surreal.
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I don't know, he doesn't generate enough tard cum for subforum-tier cow. Maybe we can ask moderators to merge those threads with this one, although I'm not sure the end result is going to be easy to read.
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Is it possible to have a section just under the thread title to point a person to other resources/threads of interest for minor cows? Maybe that would be a good solution if it is

Something like that shouldn't get out of control for minor cows, and if it does get out of control might be a clue regarding promotion to major cow
 
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instythot said:
Is it possible to have a section just under the thread title to point a person to other resources/threads of interest for minor cows? Maybe that would be a good solution if it is
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Well, if it's possible, we could rewrite the original post and link those threads there.

Also, this is interesting. Is that why you've spent so much time in Ralph's thread, Bryan?
neural said:
and @theralph posting caps of him talking as himself in the DSP thread), which eventually lead to his official verification
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theralph said:
Watching your dumbass talk about yourself in the third person while sockpuppeting is pretty hilarious. I'm glad I stayed out of jail long enough to see this. Of course, I outed you months ago, but it's not like it took a genius to figure it out. You signed up with your own info, for fuck's sake. You've also made posts in the past talking about your streaming activities, further confirming your identity.

Basically, you're a complete mongoloid. I didn't know about your recently discovered Hispanic descent, though. That's an interesting new wrinkle.

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JuanButNotForgotten said:
Good idea. Also, can we make this post OP or add it to the OP? OP has 0 information and the only links, that work are the reddit ones (and of course nothing was archived). Also, after accounts merging it looks... Surreal.
719207
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I believe that @BoingBoingBoi was planning to do a new OP, and he wrote a portion of it, but it seems that IRL stuff stood in his way, I personally think that we should resurrect that effort.

And yes, one of the great joys of reading Bryan posts is when his sock posting gets merged, it adds a lot of hilarity to his autism.
 
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@Warsmith Kroeger here's the OP i drafted a few months back. i dont think i can find the time to do much more with it in the near future, but feel free to use it if you want. (i'm not sure which staff could or would modify the OP).

@neural made some absolutely crucial tl;dr posts but i can't find them. i think they're around p.130 but again, i cant find it. (did the xf2 upgrade mess with thread page numbers or the total posts per page?)

1. Introduction

Bryan Dunn is the pet cuck of the kiwi farms. He is an internet sperg and drama-whore of epic proportions who somehow has virtually nothing to say about anything. He is both a friend to whomever he comes across, as well as a victim of the merciless and at times slanderous hate of whomsoever he crosses. He both is above the drama that surrounds him, too busy to care about this thread and the stalkers who inhabit it, as well as acutely aware of whatever occurs herein. He has made many mistakes and has learned from them, but has somehow managed not to change in the slightest. He is an edgy, right-leaning gamergater with no patience for sjws messing with his video games, but is at the same time a cockthirsty fagslut who occasionally begs for nudes from married men. He disappears from time to time, recovering his strength after a beating or two from his harem of serial stalkers, as well as occasionally from his best "tops": @BSV and Jim "Senpai" Metokur. He tries to live up to the image of virtually every one of his internet idols only to look at best like a challenged younger brother. He manages to know exactly what topic happens to be tickling the internet's prostate on a given week, but as soon as he rocks up with his tiny member and claims to want a seat at the big kids table, he inevitably becomes the bottom of every joke in the room.

2. The Bryan Dunn Cycle

This thread has been a self-fulfilling prophecy. It need not, and indeed should not exist, were it not for Bryan's astounding reliability to complete what regulars here refer to as "the Bryan Dunn Cycle", represented in the following illustration by @James Earl Cash


bryandunncycle-jpg.384176



The cycle describes how Bryan swings between two extremes when he is online, which are punctuated by periods of silence. He is either an internet tough guy who talks a bunch of shit once he's successfully legitimized himself by inserting himself into internet drama, or he is a nice guy who wants to be everyone's friend and is unfairly victimized and bullied by slanderous trolls. That is, he talks shit until he gets hit, and then he cries foul and tries to kiss and make up. When that fails, he disappears for a while, only to reappear flailing all over again.

3. Notable events in this thread:

the tl;dr by @neural
<neural's post goes here>
<updated info will follow>
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edit: I made an oopsie: I believe @James Earl Cash is actually responsible for the bryan dunn cycle image, not neural, who corrected me on this.
 
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