Writing. I used to want to be a famous author. It's not that it wouldn't be nice but [this ties in a little with the ruined childhood thread, in a way] I learned about the way agents and contracts work, and book tours and the way your work can be changed without your permission to sell more, etc. What I like about my stories is that I can express myself and make something truly beautiful (or terrible, if that's what I'm in the mood to do.) And knowing it could be turned into something that generates money for someone else really put me off of wanting to do it for a living. So now I just write what I want, post it on fanfiction sites or wherever, or I write stories for people to make them happy. In writing "my way" it has remained pure and enjoyable for me. Sometimes I write stuff I never even show anyone. Writing is something I "can't not do." It's part of my identity and usually if I'm not doing it, something is very wrong. My little diatribes on this site help because I have a place I can write daily, then keep my novel-length projects going simultaneously. I've thought about starting a Patreon or whatever to make extra money while I write but the reason I decided not to is because then people's opinions might influence what I do, and that's counterproductive. Writing my way without worrying about what other people think or say about it makes me happy.
