Containment Random Chris Updates

[JULAY]

If I had to guess, I'd put Chris' IQ somewhere in the high 80s-low 90s. Much of his dysfunctionality is due to his upbringing and 'tism that gives the appearance of him being much stupider than he is "on paper". I know a guy with a tested IQ of 75, and though unlike Chris he holds down an I sort glass-tier job, he's almost illiterate and needs to use his fingers to do basic math.

I'll bet that the guy with the 75 IQ doesn't shit himself though.

 

[Arthur Calwell]

I'll bet that the guy with the 75 IQ doesn't shit himself though.

He can't drive, unlike Chris. Though like Chris he has been scammed out of several thousand dollars.

 

[Nebula Slasher]

View attachment 767654

Just another example of Chris being absurdly un-self-aware.

He's just becoming disjointed words at this point.

It's like this tweet is one of the titles of those weird youtube videos aimed at kids, like "Frozen Thanos Superhero Action Fight".

 

[ToroidalBoat]

[...]

Hand sanitizer: the official lolcow way to wash up on the go!

Or anytime, really.

 

[Tikbalang]

View attachment 767654

I doubt Chris wash his hands ever unless he's covered in oil or navy

 

[Looney Troons]

Chris might bathe in hand sanitizer for all we know. He used to think AXE was a shower alternative.

 

[Rupin]

View attachment 767245

I wonder who bestowed that on him. That was about a month after the Idea Guys were removed from power, though Chris is fond of reusing their old notes. Or he bestowed it on himself in some attempt to undo their damage to his imaginary world.

I like how he equates having bigger boobs to being more powerful.

 

[Moppo.]

I like how he equates having bigger boobs to being more powerful.

That's odd since Chris already declared himself to be a D-cup

My Breast Massage Routine 18+

A freeform breast massage routine I've figured out for myself; practice and perform for at least five minutes.

youtu.be

 

[Pony Horn]

In the top right DM, Sarah and Steve said, "Unfortunately for him, Christine has already agreed to only accept my help in that situation."

The person who posted the DMs said it was a response to him saying Null had a battle plan if Chris ever lost the house.

Unfortunately for Null? That's a really weird way of putting it.

I don't trust these people at all. Luckily it's not my problem. lol

 

[Raiken]

Chris might bathe in hand sanitizer for all we know. He used to think AXE was a shower alternative.

Chris used to have a bottle on him all the time during the gameplace days, and would use it when shaking hands. More recently during when he paid a whore he was panicking that he smelled weed but calmed down when he took a wiff of hand sanitizer.

 

[JULAY]

Chris used to have a bottle on him all the time during the gameplace days, and would use it when shaking hands. More recently during when he paid a whore he was panicking that he smelled weed but calmed down when he took a wiff of hand sanitizer.

Ah, classic CWCism... "She had done the weed"

 

[Wraith]

I like how he equates having bigger boobs to being more powerful.

It's not?

 

[Optimus Prime]

I like how he equates having bigger boobs to being more powerful.

Based on the brief time I got bored enough to try understanding Hyperdimension Neptunia, that's actually something we can blame on the omnipotent game console-chans.

See, I think the way it works in Hyperdimension Neptunia is that the size of their chests is directly relational to the memory of the real life physical console. Bigger busts = larger memory. More memory generally means the console has more power (this is significantly oversimplifying the matter since obviously this isn't accounting for necessary aspects like superior processor cores), therefore bigger boobs = more power strictly under that general concept.

Of course, by that logic, Chris shouldn't have manboobs period if he's Blue Heart/Commodore 64, because that thing's memory is probably less than the Ti-84 graphing calculator I used back in high school.

 

[Cardboard Box Mountain]

One would think he learned from David Bowie with the amount of times he has reinvented himself




That's a sentence and why is it spikey? We've seen Sonichu 7 and I sure as hell didn't see some medieval torture penis

When he drew it on the wall, he drew spikes on it.

 

[Seregios (Att. at Law)]

When he drew it on the wall, he drew spikes on it.

I know I'm in dangerous tard waters here, but I wonder why.

 

[Tikbalang]

Of course, by that logic, Chris shouldn't have manboobs period if he's Blue Heart/Commodore 64, because that thing's memory is probably less than the Ti-84 graphing calculator I used back in high school.

In earlier storage devices, they are quite big even though in only store 100mb.
C64's memory is 64kb, it fits well with Chris

 

[January First]

He can speak in full sentences that were, at one point, mostly comprehensible. He can express ideas and hold a conversation (although this is degrading). He can dress himself (albeit badly), he can prepare simple meals (if the kitchen isn't hoarded), he doesn't have to wear a tard helmet, and he is capable of self-toileting (although his poor diet and sloth prevent him from doing so on occasion). He doesn't screech and flap his hands about and he can go to loud, busy, overstimulating places without having a meltdown.
Had he been raised by two competent parents and provided with more specialized education, he could have lived a fairly regular life.

So can someone with an IQ in the mid-60s. There are multiple lolcows with confirmed or all-but-confirmed mild intellectual disability, and most of them are smart enough for people to believe they couldn't even be mentally disabled in the first place. That said, Chris is still above that range. He's probably around the 80 mark.

 

[The Dude]

You're all wrong. Chris is Sailor Sharts.

 

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

That said, Chris is still above that range. He's probably around the 80 mark.

Incorrect. Chris has stated that he has an estimated IQ of over 300, in his own True and Honest Words. Ignore the fact that such an IQ number is not possible.

Interestingly, canon Robotnik has an IQ of exactly 300, showing (i) that the writers of Sonic didn't understand IQ either and (ii) that Chris claiming to have all the powers and more of them than anyone else may be longer-lived than we thought.

 

[The American Hedgehog]

A few more Twitter DMs with Sarah and Steve got posted to the CWCki.