Sorry, this is very wordy. Because she is primarily active on YouTube and only a little on social media platforms, I'm mostly posting video links with highlight summaries instead of photos. If she gets rid of her YT account I have backups because I'm not new here. This is long as all hell because she has an enormous internet footprint and many rabbitholes you can fall down in researching. Also she never ever shuts up.
insta:
theadolphuschronicles (formerly _zebrastrong but some PETA-tards apparently got her booted, also had beautyby.sarahjean for her makeup business and happyvegantravler for her animal rescue/vegan rants, but both are gone now)
Youtube (
archive)
care package insta in which she stalks all the people from Special Books by Special Kids as well as several of our munchies like ChronicallyCourt and Amy Lee Fisher. To her credit, she does mostly send them to actually ill children.
Also runs
The.Power.of.Ten, the NPO she set up for donations for the care packages
Wishlist for the care packages.
Linkedin (
archive)
Model Mayhem (
archive)
More modeling
WeGo Health Award self-nomination (won't archive but it's just her name and a selfie)
Twatter she never used linking to a dead website (
archive)
Merch which people actually fucking bought, also available on
TeeSpring
Amazon wishlist in case you want to buy her something nice.
If you decide to surprise her with something not on her list, you can send it to the following address:
26601 Xerxes Trail, Elko, MN
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Sarah-Jean is a 34-year-old is a professional victim and self-proclaimed "medical wonder" who is beyond your typical munchie. Sarah-Jean makes it outstandingly obvious that she's making most of her problems up, admits to lying to her doctors and fudging tests, demands second and third opinions when she's told point-blank that there's nothing wrong, admits to "researching" new diagnoses and treatments she wants habitually, and will cite exactly which other munchies she's copying. I can't tell if she's self-aware and just doesn't give a fuck, or if she so ridiculously lacks self-awareness as to think what she's doing is okay/normal/justifiable. Her doctors call her out for being a munchie/refer her to psych all the time.
She grew up in and around New York City, moved to Minneapolis and possibly southern California as a teen (her father lived there for a spell and her mother still lives there), then moved to Queens, New York, lived very briefly in Las Vegas where she has some family, back to Minnesota, then in Tampa and St. Petersburg, Florida. She had some success as a make up artist along the way. A few years ago she moved back to Elko, Minnesota, a tiny exurb of Minneapolis-St. Paul, to become a full time unemployed sick kid living in her dad's house and going on adventures he pays for. She has gone to see dozens of doctors and specialists but no one can figure out what's wrong with her, probably because there is nothing wrong with her. Every time something is fixed, two more things appear. Her parents pay for her living expenses and she has no friends. If you're in the US and pay taxes then congratulations, you are paying for Sarah-Jean's constant munchie staycations at Mayo Clinic because she's on medicare and loves to brag about how everything she does is fully covered by it.
In her first videos she claims she has supraventricular tachycardia with two failed ablations, an undiagnosed eye condition that is so rare it's illegal to diagnose it in Minnesota (what?), and narcolepsy w/o cataplexy, and the list just grows from there. Currently she claims those diagnoses plus POTS (but also bradycardia), hepatitis C, neurocardiogenic syncope (the technical scary-sounding term for that thing that makes some people faint when they get scared or see blood), cluster headaches, gastritis, mast cell activation syndrome, restless leg syndrome, ovarian cysts, vaginal atrophy, patellofemoral syndrome aka Runner's Knee, irritable bowel syndrome, and both high and low blood pressure.
For her mental health she currently claims BPD, OCD, Tourette's syndrome, panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, autism with "severe verbal over-stimulation", major depression, an unspecified communication disorder, significantly low memory, and a schizotypical personality features.
Amazingly, none of these problems stop her from doing anything she wants to do. She can run around in the heat including living in fucking Florida for several years, clean up after and care for barnyard animals, go to theme parks, and attend local events but always makes sure to “crash” once she gets home and have a crisis so everyone knows how super duper sick she is. She claims to have survived advanced endometriosis (not fatal) and, the big one, cervical cancer. What she actually had was precancerous cells found on a pap and removed. Like, you know,
a lot of women who don't go on to claim they had fucking cancer. She had knee surgery a few years ago.
She doesn't actually name most of her medications but I've managed to scope out a few she's taken over her brief career: Adderall, Emgality (a -mab drug for migraines), Xyrem (for narcolepsy), Zyrtec, Benadryl, prednisone, Cromolyn, and Zoloft she won't take or even pick up at the pharmacy.
She refers to herself as a "zebra" despite not having even fake Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. EDS patients and the many, many fakers of EDS have long claimed the zebra as their mascot because of the med school standard advice, "when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." In other words, don't go for the crazy rare diagnosis if there's a much easier, more common explanation. EDS patients and fakers therefore fancy themselves the zebras the doctors have been trained to brush off as headcases. Sarah-Jean claims it's okay to use the zebra as her own mascot because the saying itself is not EDS-specific. The EDS fakers cry appropriation whenever it comes up. It's pretty fun if you like petty munchie slap fights.
She has a """service dog""" named Freckles that keeps running away from home. She also goes about her day independently without the dog quite often, a clear indication that she doesn't actually need it. She seems to not want most people to know she's trying to pass the dog off as a service dog because when she does have it with her it's often not wearing a vest, suggesting it has some behavior issue that make it clear the dog is just a pet. I'm not a dog behavior expert but its body language often looks stressed (hunched, licking nose, eyes darting, can't focus). She also uses a heavy, rigid bridge of the type used by the blind on guide dogs and people with major mobility issues when she does take it out, which is totally unnecessary. Freckles always looks like she wants to die.
She has a large collection of VOG-type dust masks in various colors and patterns that she wears most places but takes off to speak, shows off her meds/treatments and spends hours organizing supplies, films every doctor appointment, mentions her health every chance she gets, "faints" in public, and weaseled her way into supplemental oxygen for cluster migraines and a custom wheelchair for POTS her doctors told her over and over again she does not have. She is on cloud nine whenever she's given a new referral or a test or a toy, but any time she doesn't get exactly the news she wants from doctors (which is almost always) she has a crying temper tantrum on camera. She claims to be allergic to most opiates like all the munchies that want dilaudid. Also claims allergies to adhesives like many of them, because they all want Tegaderm specifically for whatever reason. She claims to know more about her health and medicine than every doctor she has ever seen and goes into appointments with exactly what she wants to be diagnosed with and how she wishes it treated already planned out. She admits she spends hours almost daily researching medical problems she thinks she might have. Her current YouTube theme music is from the soundtrack to the movie
Five Feet Apart about two young people with cystic fibrosis who are dying tragically in hospitals and fall in love, quickly replacing
The Fault in Our Stars as every munchie's favourite book/movie.
Sarah-Jean is also an obnoxious vegan and a scammer. She orders food and drinks but doesn't have the money to pay for them and cries her way out of it. She ran a fake animal sanctuary known as Happily Ever After and then as Sentient Souls and was accused of mistreating animals and misappropriating funds.
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She's banned from the WalMart closest to her house for attempted shoplifting. She's a former cutter and likes to pull out the 'I almost relapsed because internet bullies!' narrative whenever challenged. She is a lesbian and her ex girlfriend,
Caycee Breagel, was an animal hoarder whose property was full of hundreds of animals that were dead or dying. Between July 2017 and February 2018, Breagel adopted 144 cats (literally a gross of cats) and a dog from the Humane Society claiming she ran a rescue and shelter. In reality, the shelter was never opened though it had a physical location also full of starving animals and the rescue never really operated. She
got probation for it. Sarah-Jean's animals piss, shit, and puke all over her dad's house and she acts like this is normal.
After Jaquie died, Sarah-Jean posted this ridiculous snot-faced crying video that put her into my crosshairs.
But her first video was from June of last year, titled "MAYO CLINIC VISIT FROM HELL" wherein she asked for a port for at-home IV saline for an undiagnosed condition her doctors don't believe she has and is tragically told "just drink more" and "eat some salt." Like a good spoonie, she then films herself crying hysterically and explaining all the reasons these common sense interventions will not work in her special case.
Her second video, she goes out with her father and is just fine, everything is great in 90º F heat and high humidity (later claims heat intolerance that precludes wearing compression garments and could basically kill her), but then when they get home she has a mysterious "episode" that she, praise Jesus, was able to grab the camera and film for us. She breathes heavy and looks dizzy for a few seconds, then a jump cut to her laying in bed where she tells us she was found curled up in a ball and shaking and they almost called 911 for her because of a panic attack.
In late June she did a stress test, everything was fine. During these early months, she vlogs only once every few weeks when she scams her way into a new test or procedure she can't wait to document.
June 28, she got her second tilt table test. The first was in Florida and she was fine other than being a baby about it. The second was at a hospital in Minnesota with her regular cardiologist who told her to drink water and wear compression garments if she was getting dizzy and also fuck off and wouldn't give her a third ablation. She claimed she became almost totally paralyzed by some medication during this one. She also had a test she thinks was a modified TTT at Mayo once, which also came back normal. Then in September she has a third full TTT at yer another hospital.
On July 8 in the video AM I GETTING WHEELS? she goes to some medical supply place to get compression garments she doesn't want to even try and already “knows” won't help her, and instead, while no one is watching her, tries out wheelchairs she admits she doesn't need.
But Holy Duping Delight, Batman! Two months later, she is over the moon at being approved for a custom wheelchair. She claims needs this chair because of MCAS and POTS, two conditions she is not diagnosed with that absolutely do not require a wheelchair, and in fact the latter would be helped by walking. In a surprise move, she rejects the Tilite Aero that every munchie gets and got a Quickie Series 7 instead. She does get the coveted Smartdrive. She only uses this when she wants to look sick at doctor appointments and other important places. Anywhere else it proves to be not as much fun as she thought. On Insta she estimates that she uses it about 25% of the time, but I think it's way less.
Despite that she was eating an entire vegan pizza by herself in June, by the end of July she's claiming major GI problems and hints she may have gastroparesis. She decides pursuing the Gastric Emptying Study, which requires her to eat eggs, is more important than her vegan ethics. She got her test and to the surprise of no one, she's fine.
In August she felt neglected so she had a panic attack that she
swore was a "mini stroke." It wasn't, but she got a lot of attention at the ER for claiming it was.
(Farms does not like multiple embedded media so sorry, regular links now)
In September she got articulated knee braces and a
referral to psych, lol.
In October, she gets her
first IV saline infusion at Mayo and goes bananas because they only give her a 250mL bag, not the liter bags Jaquie and the rest of the bunch get. The doctor decides not to continue giving these infusions after the first, and even if he does, it will be at most 250mL once a week. Basically this doctor seems to want to shut her the fuck up. Days later she claims she fainted on her front lawn and was 'found lifeless’ to rationalize needing the life-saving salt water infusions.
The IV saline saga resumes. She wants a port and has decided she
needs to advocate for herself to get one NOW. She
complains advocates for herself until her doctor, who at first only wanted to give her the occasional 250mL when she was bitching, approves the 1L bags at home and starts the pre-op process for a port. She is very happy and can't decide whether to get PICC first or jump straight to a port.
She also sees a
motility specialist who tells her the reason she feels like shit is because she's got IBS and hard poopies and is hyper-focusing on her health, so she gives her vitamins and stool softeners. She announces she's most likely getting a port so she starts buying storage boxes to organize her supplies that she doesn't have yet.
Bonus: she's starting to get call-out comments
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And finally she gets her
first home IV infusions and she is still not happy because it's not exactly what she wants. It's a peripheral line, she's not happy with how it's being delivered, and she is only approved for 500mL bags, plus they didn't give her all the fun extras that she sees all the other munchies get in their deliveries. She hounds the nurse until she gets all the stuff she wants (except 1L bags). As soon as she's given an IV pole, she decorates it with her "Beads of Courage," strings of plastic beads typically given to children who have really devastating conditions that keep them hospitalized/require lots of surgeries. She admits she does this because all the other cool munchies do it. Note: most of said cool munchies are 10-15 years younger than her.
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In December, another Mayo holiday. This time for her
second round of allergy tests (the first round was pre-Youtube). She admits trying to bait them to dx MCAS without saying "mast cell" lest they catch on. Lies about symptoms and doctor calls her on her bullshit, refuses to do more tests. She loses her shit until the doctor gives her the name of a dermatologist who will test her for "fragrance allergies.' She admits a doctor from this clinic she's going to today has already told her she doesn't have MCAS. Surprise! Allergist tells her she doesn't have MCAS, doesn't have major allergies, and they won't do anything else for her, which makes her chimp out as usual.
(bonus: crazy vegan stops to scrape a dead cat off the street and show us the corpse because she doesn't want people to run it over so she pulls it over to the grass because I don't know.)
The next day she has an
early morning chimpout because she's still only getting 500mL bags of salt water. She shreiks at the doctor until he agrees to give her liter bags but he also informs her she will not be getting a PICC or port and calls her out for being a munchie. Like, point-blank says if he gives her a central line she'll want something else as soon as the novelty has worn off. She decides to shop for a new doctor even though it took her months to shop for this one. She goes to a doctor for fragrance testing despite having neither a referral or an appointment. She says she's going to lay on the bed and refuse to move until they test her. She finally leaves because they tell her there's no test or treatment for a fragrance allergy. But she tells them all her doctors think she has MCAS despite just telling people yesterday that no one thinks she has MCAS except her. She shops for a mast cell literate doctor (later admits she found one on a Facebook group for munchies who think they have MCAS).
bonus: the knitted piggie socks she is losing her mind over are by Jane and Bleecker and Jaquie was a huge fan of this brand, owning several styles, so of course, Sarah-Jean had to have them.
Her next video, three days later, she
finally gets an allergy test. She drives 3 hours each way (six hours round trip) to Duluth to get it. Gets skin prick and 24 hour urine testing. She doesn't react on the test, she has no allergies, but somehow she is given an MCAS diagnosis just on her reported symptoms which she admits she lies about to get doctors to think she has MCAS. Oy. Doctor calls her out for reciting WebMD articles at him. She worries that the doctor thinks she's a munchie and will psych referral her so she dials back.
Around this time she shows off her medical storage, explaining that she hoards the leftovers from old tests and treatments she no longer needs and has started a collection of cutesy PICC covers despite never having a PICC.
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On Christmas Eve she makes a long video
teaching other munchies how they can get IV fluids, too.
She goes
back to her MCAS doctor who tells her to take Zyrtec and Benadryl and gives her Epi pens for the emergencies she doesn't have, but won't give her Cromolyn (later says she has Cromolyn as if he gave it to her, but he did not). Hints she might have the beetus. Says she is simultaneously being prescribed prednisone by several doctors, which should never, ever happen if she's being transparent and admitting what drugs she is actually taking and who is treating her for what.
She took most of January off, but came back in the end to talk about her narcolepsy. She tries Xyrem and
decides it didn't work after one night.
Because autism is now cool instead of that kid your mom made you invite to your birthday, and because Jaquie claimed to have it, Sarah-Jean wants it too. She deliberately plays stupid disorganized weird girl and complains that her hands are too ouchy to write during the testing. She fakes a panic attack and leaves before the test is done. She's allowed to take it home and told to sit down and take it all at once but decides she doesn't have to do that. Gets herself a
'tism spectrum 1 with severe verbal over-stimulation diagnosis.
February she decides to
travel to Florida for nine days despite that she's definitely dying and thinks she might be getting a normie cold. She packed oxygen for some reason and TSA made her get rid of it. She draws a ton of attention to herself so she can complain about people talking about her. She wears a mask and takes it off to talk to the camera, negating the claimed purpose of wearing it. She has a panic attack and calls it anaphylaxis.
Her next vacation vee-log, which she titles "
UNIVERSAL STUDIOS (DISABLED)" starts with her singing Mary Frey's port song. For those who don't regularly stalk sick people on the internet, Mary Frey has real cystic fibrosis and a port. Whenever her port is deaccessed she sings "I ain't got no needle in my chest, in my chest." Every munchie now sings it when their own port is deaccessed. Since Sarah-Jean is too obvious in her munching to get a port, she tragically must substitute "arm" for "chest" in her rendition as she removes her peripheral IV. Despite that she was just dying, she decides to go to Universal Studios for her birthday. I'm genuinely surprised that with how far up Chronically Jaquie's ass she is, she didn't decide to go to Magic Kingdom, as Universal is decidedly more grown up. She coughs a lot and makes her friends push her chair. She gets home and decides it was not what she wanted and she is disappointed. Should have gone to Disney.
In the February 13 masterfully titles "
JUST A DAY IN THE LIFE | HEAVY MUCUS" she's back home. She jokes that she's going to ask Mary Frey, who I will remind you,
has cystic fibrosis, what to do about her sniffles. Most of this video is just unpacking medical shit and complaining but at night she decides she's bored and goes to Urgent Care for her sniffles. Urgent Care tells her nothing is wrong but gives her an antibiotic to shut her up. Her next video she
gets Cromolyn.
In March, her dad goes away to Belize for a week and her mother
flies in from California to babysit her. She goes out to see Five Feet Apart like a good munchie and sees herself in the tragic story of love and illness.
Also in March her _zebrastrong instagram was removed with no reason given by IG. I've seen some PETA fags claiming it was them as revenge for her abusing the animals on her farm and being affiliated with Caycee the hoarder, and they banned her on the grounds that she was claiming to have a non-profit for the sanctuary but did not. I don't really believe it but if it's true it's also really funny. Unfortunately she started her journey to permanent sick kid on the deleted accounts (_zebrastrong and her animal rights account) and those posts are lost to the ages. However, she is very prolific on her new account, often posting more than once per day.
Here she justifies drinking despite being on multiple medications that say not to, because she's a grown up and you can't tell her what to do neener neener.
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Using multiple devices to search out the problem that doesn't exist.
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Losing her shit because her dad asks for help at the farm and she is too sick and fragile for that and fuck you, daddy, don't you understand? (pay my bills n walk my dogs for me tho)
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She takes the rest of March off but came back for a cardio appointment in April where she explained that
she doesn't have POTS because it doesn't show up on the tests and her cardio still doesn't want to give her a port despite all her whining, her two ablations might have not been necessary either, and she fails to understand the placebo effect.
On April 28, Jaquie died and Sarah-Jean uploaded her eulogy which, to be fair, was still more respectful than Jan's. After this, she transitions to daily vlogs hoping to grab the Munchie Queen's tarnished crown. She also made this insta post that Jan liked.
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Brain on Fire/tumor saga starts. The day after her Jaquie video she starts complaining about
nosebleeds and not able to English goodly. She doesn't want to take a chance this is serious because Jaquie just died. However, this doctor tries say she's depressed and she gets pissed and goes home. She smacks herself in the face with her IV pump and this is supposed to be proof that she's really super sick with something gravely serious. The next day she's at neurology being told, again, that
she's fucking fine. Once again, she walks out "very pissed off" because she doesn't get attention for faking a neurological problem. He gives her Zoloft and she won't take it. She tells her audience once again that they know better than doctors. A couple days later she makes a video about how
dumb this stupid doctor is for stupidly prescribing her Zoloft like a dumb moron.
When she did her 'tism testing she also had a psych consult and in May she got the results from it. Surprise, they think she's somatizing, immature, low-average intelligence, and low verbal comprehension. Diagnosis: ASD1 with mild language impairment,OCD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, Schizotypical Personality Features, unspecified communication disorder (provisional).
In late May, after her nosebleeds and brain on fire stopped getting her attention, her
snatch started rotting and she was definitely dying this time. No, wait, it was fine. Still struggling to get attention, she latches on to another dead person, this time a little girl with Rett Syndrome and severe facial deformities, by taking a
video of herself on the fucking toilet and crying in her bed. She still wants a port and whines incessantly about how her unnecessary salt water infusions are ruining her veins but her meanie head doctor still won't help her.
When this still wasn't giving her attention she
"faints" on camera at a flea market. Has a meltdown because a turkey in the street keeps almost getting hit by cars because it keeps running into traffic.
Recently on insta, she's complaining about a guinea pig allergy as if this is a sure sign she has MCAS. Fun Fact: many people who work in a research facility with animals end up allergic to guinea pigs and rabbits, some after just a few exposures, but it's not life threatening. Just annoying.. You're not special, Sarah-Jean.
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And here's her diagnosis series of videos, something else she took from Jaquie:
My Life Story
MCAS
POTS
Narcolepsy
IBS/Gastritis
OCD/Tourettes
Autism
Depression/BPD
Not-Cancer