Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 196 14.1%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 790 56.9%
  • Total voters
    1,389
LordofCringe7206 said:
Jack could be the basis for an entire medical documentary called "This is what you shouldn't do after having a stroke".

Because my god, he has done literally everything you shouldn't do after you managed to survive not one, but two strokes. I don't understand how he hasn't already died, especially since he is still relatively close to when he had a stroke.
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He works pretty well as a cautionary tale in general. Just have him talk about his life at seminars while the projector behind him flashes "whatever this man says you do the opposite" in 50 point, bold, red font. You could repurpose all those WWJD bracelets to relate to Jack and scare kids into clean, healthy living in ways no Bible can.
 
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We have a man who ate five cheeseburgers and fries in a day within a year of having his second stroke. Every resource that I've pulled (Havard Medical, Cleveland Clinic, National Stroke Association) has said that saturated fats and high fat meats CAUSE strokes. They recommend eating lean meats like turkey or ham if you HAVE to eat meat.

Jack's trying to go out on his own terms, eating delicious meats.
 
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captkrisma said:
Jack's trying to go out on his own terms, eating delicious meats.
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"Delicious" 🤔

On a serious note, what the people who use YOLO as an excuse to engage in self-destructive behavior don't realize is that death isn't the only consequence of their habits. It's not a matter of choosing a slightly shorter lifespan over a lifetime of deprivation. If Jack has a third stroke, or suffers whatever other major health complication, it's not guaranteed to kill him. It's very likely to leave him crippled though. He already lost the use of his right arm and based on how he sometimes slurs his words he must be more impaired than he admits to. But he still refuses to renounce his gluttonous ways and even dismisses proven scientific nutritional facts as vegan propaganda or equally ridiculous bullshit.

He thinks he knows what he's doing but if he had any sense at all he should be praying that the next stroke takes him out because the alternative might be grim beyond his wildest imagination. I sure hope these really cool tours filled with dainty bites of burger, spoonfuls of keto-friendly mayo, and tiny sips of milkshake will be worth it when you're paralyzed and unable to take care of yourself, drooling in your wheelchair in front of a TV for the rest of your existence, Jack :optimistic:
 
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Damaged Goods said:
when you're paralyzed and unable to take care of yourself, drooling in your wheelchair in front of a TV for the rest of your existence, Jack :optimistic:
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Honestly I bet that sounds like heaven to him for the most part, with the only thing being a problem being that damn inability to just hork down the whole hoagie with no arms or mouth control anymore being a detriment to him.
 
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captkrisma said:
We have a man who ate five cheeseburgers and fries in a day within a year of having his second stroke. Every resource that I've pulled (Havard Medical, Cleveland Clinic, National Stroke Association) has said that saturated fats and high fat meats CAUSE strokes. They recommend eating lean meats like turkey or ham if you HAVE to eat meat.

Jack's trying to go out on his own terms, eating delicious meats.
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shhhh don't tell jack

he's adamant that his second stroke was caused by nothing more than high blood pressure (and that his first was because he was tired and was drinking energy drinks) because eating like shit, being obese, not exercising, and suffering from diabetes aren't all risk factors for high blood pressure
 
Aaway said:
he's adamant that his second stroke was caused by nothing more than high blood pressure
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Nah he blames sugar for his second stroke. That's why he did fake-keto for a while and went to sam's club, pointed at some desserts and said "You did this to me" or something.
He's blamed sugar and caffeine for his strokes because it's easy to blame them than it is to blame his his overall poor diet and lack of exercise.
 
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791957
 
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Aaway said:
well this guy put cayenne pepper in his eye because he's too cheap to see a doctor
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Come again? I must have missed this lore.

Damaged Goods said:
It's very likely to leave him crippled though. He already lost the use of his right arm and based on how he sometimes slurs his words he must be more impaired than he admits to. But he still refuses to renounce his gluttonous ways and even dismisses proven scientific nutritional facts as vegan propaganda or equally ridiculous bullshit.
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Jack can have his red meat but he never balances it with anything. He seems pretty lazy as well. I guarantee if Jack worked on it he'd gain some use back of that arm. It wouldn't be 100% or even 80% but he'd get some use back. The brain is pretty amazing in its ability to get things functioning again if you make the pathways. If Jack lost weight and was active regularly he'd really reduce the chances of another stroke and set himself up for a speedier recovery from one but whatever he can't take cooking advice so why would he take staying alive advice?

I really don't get how people can walk around looking like Jack does. I just don't get it. I don't get how you can look in the mirror and see someone unhealthy and think Yeah this is fine. Get out of the shower and you can't see your genitals or toes and think Hey no problem. I just don't get it.
 
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Jacks estranged weed smoking son has created "The first Adult Cannabis Cartoon Series “NUGZ” “Every strain has a story!”

www.instagram.com

Garrett “G⚡️Shock” Scalfani on Instagram: “Happy Shatterday World , wanna start this weekend off by saying Thanks to the homie @ezonedafirm and all the great people at @brealtv for…”

181 Likes, 15 Comments - Garrett “G⚡️Shock” Scalfani (@o.gshock) on Instagram: “Happy Shatterday World , wanna start this weekend off by saying Thanks to the homie @ezonedafirm…”
www.instagram.com www.instagram.com
 
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SmileyTimeDayCare said:
I really don't get how people can walk around looking like Jack does. I just don't get it. I don't get how you can look in the mirror and see someone unhealthy and think Yeah this is fine. Get out of the shower and you can't see your genitals or toes and think Hey no problem. I just don't get it.
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I kinda get that part. Plenty of people don't care about their appearance or love food more than a normal-looking body. What I can't wrap my mind around is not doing absolutely everything in your power for however long it takes to regain the full use of your body. That I'll never understand.
 
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