Stupid things you thought as a kid - we were all dumbasses when we were kids

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I don't know if I told you guys this, but as a kid, due to seeing photos and tv in black and white, I thought the entire world was in black and white until the 60s.
 
(This thread is golden. Lost my shit several times.)

NARPASSWORD said:
We all thought and said incredibly idiotic things as children, don't deny it. Here's a thread to share whatever stupid shit you did, thought, or said during your childhood, starting with this: When I was little, I thought old movies and shows were in black and white because color didn't exist back then.
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Mao Hao Hao said:
I used to think that everyone in the period before color pictures/TV could only see in black and white, and that it wasn't until the invention of color photographs and videos that people could see in color.
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Mariposa Electrique said:
I don't know if I told you guys this, but as a kid, due to seeing photos and tv in black and white, I thought the entire world was in black and white until the 60s.
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You guys ever seen this? This might be my favorite thing on *that* site just because how STUPID it is.

On to my own misconceptions. While many mentioned butt pregnancy (that I believed, of course), only one person (I think) mentioned girls having penises, which I thought was the case, because some asshole kid described sex to me as "it's when you touch peepees". I believed that up until 9 or so, when I randomly decided to read a sex-ed book, which was divided into "for younger than 13" and "13 and older" sections. Decided to read both and I was...satisfied with the knowledge, actually. Cleared up a lot of things.

I always liked guitar music, but it wasn't until I started taking music seriously, I learned that I confused bass guitar with rhythm guitar, that's playing lower notes (which my teen ass thought was the coolest thing, them downtuned power chords). And I learned the differences embarrasingly late.

I also thought that I've found something unknown, profound and abnormal, because I found out about masturbation at a very early age. Hearing it referenced from my peers gradually dispersed that belief.

I was also convinced that only I could produce those pops in my ears, when you swallow or clench? Disregarded that after asking parents.
 
Not me but when my mom was a kid some adult told her and the other kids in the family that the sky was blue because it was reflecting the ocean (as in the ocean is blue so the sky was reflecting its color.) And this is what this person believed, they weren't trying to trick the kids.
 
As a kid my mom and I used to sneak food and drinks in when we went to see movies because it was cheaper than buying it there and I thought if they ever caught us we would go to jail. But they never did. I still get a rush from doing this, like I'm some criminal mastermind breaking the law.
 
That my family loved me, cared about me and that I could trust them. Go figure.
 
I knew that when it was raining it wasn't raining everywhere, it was localized. In one place it is raining but next to that place it is not.

But the real tickler was this: when traveling with a car in the rain and it stops raining, did we drive outside the boundary of the rain clouds or did it just stop raining? How would one know? I spent a lot time thinking about things like that.

My parents told me that it was possible to drive out of the rain. I knew that already, it made sense, but as a 5-6 year old I didn't fully believe it because I hadn't seen it. So one time, my mom, being really nice, turned the car around on a country rode and we drove back to see if we could get back into the rain again. And we did!
 
Rigor Meowtis said:
I had no concept of death when i was very young, so I thought people would regress back to being a baby with their memories wiped and under the care of a new family. Then my mom told me about Jesus dying and I had an existential crisis during bath time.
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That took a turn.

I don't remember how old I was, but when I was probably like 8, I discovered that I, being a female, had a third orifice down there. I had a heart attack because I thought "well, shit looks like I need stitches." I ran to my mom upset and she told me that I am supposed to have that. She didn't say why though.

And then years later I found out that getting that hole stitched up is an actual thing, but it's only done by Middle Eastern and African people because women aren't allowed to experience pleasure during whopee.
 
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I thought when a cartoon was airing, the animators were busy making next week's episode.
 
I never really paid attention to clocks, so I thought that it would go from one hour to another hour instantly without any minutes in-between. I remember how surprised I was when I was waiting for it go from 11:00 straight to 12:00 but instead switch to 11:01. I was so confused at first.
 
When I was 4 years old, my goldfish died. My dad told me that it had gone to heaven. I thought that heaven was a physical place (like a building), and that some guy in a van came and picked up my goldfish and brought it there.
I pictured the guy driving the van as Billy Mays. I still don't know why.
 
I thought that cars were pushed along by the gas from the exhaust, like a jet engine. That's why sports cars and dragsters went faster, they had more exhausts.
 
I also got Paul McCartney and John McCarthy mixed up and wondered how he was still releasing albums when he was being held hostage in Beruit.
 
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