حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[TrippinKahlua]

I believe he goes here, it's a two year community college so there isn't room & board.

I initially read that as "Technical College of the Lolcow"

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Hannibal Lecter, or Buffalo Bill?

Spoiler

View attachment 13027
View attachment 13028

Christ, that sounds like it's going to devolve into some fucked-up Human Centipede shit. Except with a bunch of Molay Ringwoods joined at the navel or something.

Which leaves me with one question - @Connor, what did you do to get banned?

If this is any indication, hate speech, from one of his many "bitches & whores" rants.

Spoiler

 

[Smutley]

It seems a brief exposé was written about Connor by a classmate when he was in high school, primarily focusing on his autism, and how his autism makes him obsessed with his book. To the shock of absolutely no one, Connor's "focus" for his condition is movies and books, and he much prefers them to reality since he can't change reality.

There's not really all that much is funny, other than the few passages I've bolded

Living with Asperger’s: Inside the mind of one student

We all know someone who is different from us. Some people choose to dress a certain way, some have unique study habits, and then there are others who are different because of situations beyond their control.

Meet Connor Bible, who was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome when he was eight.

What is Asperger’s? For Connor, it is “a different way of perception… an alternate wiring of the brain.”

Aspies, a term for someone who has Asperger’s, tend to have difficulties with reading people’s body language. “Sarcasm is pretty difficult because I tend to take it literally. I do, however, have a sense of humor, which isn’t very typical,” Connor said.

According to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, certain ways of speaking and using language is often typical of Asperger’s syndrome. For instance, many speak with an overly formal manner or in a monotone voice, and have difficulties with non-verbal communication such as gestures and facial expressions.

Connor doesn’t let Asperger’s control his life. However, he does find school life to be difficult when it comes to essays because “essays need to be very organized, which I have difficulty with since I have a tendency to switch topics a lot.”

Switching topics, or going off on tangents about subjects in the conversation, are also typical behaviors of Asperger’s. As Connor puts it, his way of thinking is like “a stream of consciousness,” in that it is always flowing. Another characteristic is an intense focus on one particular area or several different areas. For Connor, it is reading, writing and movies—especially sci-fi thrillers.

Connor is currently writing a book titled ‘Redesigning Eva.’ It is about a girl, Eva Elliot, who is living in a world filled with people who are obsessed with redesigning themselves technologically. After being offered a job by the corporation Prometheus, Eva is turned into a superwoman.

Interestingly, his main character Eva may have Asperger’s.

“She is socially awkward, very isolated, not a lot of friends, and she is very confrontational. If this is true, if she really is an Aspie, then the book is almost an allegory for the desire by some to become neuro-typical, or a ‘normal’ person,” he said.

While there isn’t a direct cure for Asperger’s syndrome, education as to what is and is not appropriate can help someone with Asperger’s function among their peers.

Special Education teacher Hillary Savarese, one of Connor’s instructor’s, has taught several students with Autism or Asperger’s. She realizes that kids who have the syndrome “have average to high intellectual abilities, but also tend to have some social difficulties. Mostly it’s noticing what’s appropriate or what’s not appropriate, because they sometimes don’t know the repercussions of the things they say,” she said.

As with any medical condition, there is no textbook case for Asperger’s syndrome. While some traits might be shared between two Aspies, some other traits might be different. For instance, one might be interested in art while another in history.

“I believe every student is different,” Savarese said. “For every single one of them, I try to help them focus on their strengths instead of their weaknesses, and to get their peers to accept the differences. Since a lot of kids with Asperger’s see only the here and now, I help them focus on the future and to work toward their goals.”

Now, Connor’s goals for his future are to become a novelist by completing ‘Redesigning Eva,’ and to live a literary life around books, particularly in an atmosphere similar to a library.

“Reality sucks because it is hard and complicated. Fiction is better since you can change the plot and, essentially, make the future yours.”

Ms. Crandall's synopsis of Redesigning Eva is 10x more succinct than Connor's, and actually makes it seem like something I'd want to leaf through.

Tune in later for instructions on how to Create Your Own Connor Online!

Christ, that sounds like it's going to devolve into some fucked-up Human Centipede shit. Except with a bunch of Molay Ringwoods joined at the navel or something.

Could any artsy people draw some Molly Ringwalds joined at the naval?

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

It seems a brief exposé was written about Connor by a classmate when he was in high school, primarily focusing on his autism, and how his autism makes him obsessed with his book. To the shock of absolutely no one, Connor's "focus" for his condition is movies and books, and he much prefers them to reality since he can't change reality.

I can't believe she used "Aspies" in an essay.

Could any artsy people draw some Molly Ringwalds joined at the naval?

EDIT: Calling @Philly Cheese Steak ! But I can give it a shot.

 

[Pikonic]

Sarcasm is pretty difficult because I tend to take it literally. I do, however, have a sense of humor

It's just not a very good one.

 

[The Dude]

It seems a brief exposé was written about Connor by a classmate when he was in high school, primarily focusing on his autism, and how his autism makes him obsessed with his book. To the shock of absolutely no one, Connor's "focus" for his condition is movies and books, and he much prefers them to reality since he can't change reality.

There's not really all that much is funny, other than the few passages I've bolded



Ms. Crandall's synopsis of Redesigning Eva is 10x more succinct than Connor's, and actually makes it seem like something I'd want to leaf through.

Tune in later for instructions on how to Create Your Own Connor Online!



Could any artsy people draw some Molly Ringwalds joined at the naval?

Call it the Molly Ringworm.

 

[Johnny Bravo]

Hannibal Lecter, or Buffalo Bill?
View attachment 13028

Ugh. Connor, you're not a bad writer, but god damnit you need to edit yourself.

Having a character speak in metaphor and simile is an interesting choice. I don't have a clue what Klaus is supposed to be like, but I'm going to assume you wanted him to have an otherworldly quality. You've accomplished that; he talks like he's trapped in a bad 50s noir.

The biggest issue with his dialogue is you keep mixing up your metaphors. First Eva is an animal in a zoo, then she's a princess waiting for her faerie godmother. It can only be one or the other. Pick a metaphor and stick with it. I personally would go with the faerie tale angle. You seem to want to imply that Eva is an old soul, someone who behaves as if they should have been born decades ago, so comparing her to an old bedtime story works on two levels: 1) it places Eva firmly in the past, 2) it comments on her innocence and naivety, as she waits for outside forces to rescue her.

The second biggest issue is length. Klaus' dialogue goes on for too fucking long. The point of this passage is to show that Klaus sees through Eva and offers her a chance at redemption. Let's try cutting out all the bullshit and see what we're left with.

"You're very pale, Eva. From a distance you do not even pass as a member of the human species. Your appalling fashion sense indicates that you consider yourself different from your peers yet you walk with your face to the floor, mentally masturbating to delusions of rescue by a fairy godmother. Your fairy godmother has now come, but with a catch."

It's still shit. However if I spent more time tweaking it, it could be good. Let's go over the bullet points:

"You're very pale, Eva." - Eva spends a lot of time indoors and is missing out on life. This line also tells us something about Klaus; he's not afraid to be blunt.
"From a distance..." - I left this line in as a segway but it still needs work. If I gave a shit I would have tweaked it to allude to Snow White or another pale faerie tale character, setting up the metaphor.
"Your appalling fashion sense..." - Exactly what ti says. Eva tries to be different but lacks confidence in herself.
"Your fairy godmother has now come..." Klaus offers her an out but expects something in return.

That's all you need. Everything else was fluff, the equivalent of picking all the biggest words out of the thesaurus to make yourself look smart. All you've really done is bore your readers and waste their time.

PS - You're supposed to wear the eye patch UNDER your glasses you dummy.

 

[Roger Rabbit]

Hi, I'm RogerRabbit1988. You may remember me from such lolcow outings as Vade, Golden Knight, and Mylar Balloon fan.

But, with all honesty, I saw this one coming a mile away. Connor was an idiot from day 1.

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

If WrongPlanet members actually read this thread, they'll actually know who you are: Having irrational hate over adoption, obsessions over Molly Ringwald, inability to deal with criticism, and giving tons of excuses and including blaming ANYONE but yourself.

Even they are sick of him. That said, the WP forum is probably more befitting of his personality, given that it seems like it is more sensitive (or more of a hugbox, if you want to say that). I don't post there so idek but it looks like people are less willing to call someone out if they are annoying—after all, Connor was there for like three years, and only got banned when he requested it. That's part of what I like about this forum. We give it to you straight.

 

[Ivan Komarov]

Hi, I'm RogerRabbit1988. You may remember me from such lolcow outings as Vade, Golden Knight, and Mylar Balloon fan.

But, with all honesty, I saw this one coming a mile away. Connor was an idiot from day 1.

I remember you getting doxxed by Mylar and backpedaling :3

 

[Watcher]

Someone in Connor's Wrongplanet thread has shared some more opinions

I have lurked those forums for a while now and it reminds me a lot of high school cliques. Like they are the "cool" kids, the "jocks" that make fun of kids that are seen as lesser than them or weirdos, a.k.a. the "nerds."

There are people that they talk about in there that seem to deserve being derided and mocked like that Nick Bate dude and this Vade person but they also make fun of people that are mentally ill or have some kind of mental disability that prevents them from being able to exercise better judgement.

For example, they make fun of someone called MylarBalloonFan who likes 90's stuff and has a fetish for mylar balloons and also has autism. Then there is Jace who is clearly a schizophrenic and have had been trolled using his delusions against himself (note: as far as I am aware there are supposedly "no trolling plans" allowed on that site.)

These people also seem to have a disdain for anyone that is receiving disability for mental or developmental disabilities. They seem to have that meritocratic attitude of "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" that right wing people usually have. According to them, having a "tugboat" is a requisite of being a so called "lolcow."

The people on these particular forums seem to have outright derision especially for people with autism and even use the words "autism" and "sperg" in a derogatory manner. It seems that anyone that isn't "normal" by society's standards, or is seen as eccentric are potential lolcows and they get off on laughing at those that are targeted, not realizing that those people probably are in pain from their torment.

It shouldn't surprise anyone that those forums are full of trolls and a recent study shows that those that engage in trolling and cyberbullying share traits of the Dark Triad. Here's an article based on that study:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...rolls-are-narcissists-psychopaths-and-sadists

Since Chris Chan is no longer providing them with the entertainment that they crave, they have latched onto other (probably innocent) eccentrics of the internet to fill that void, I don't know what the effects are for the victims but I imagine that a majority of them suffer as a consequence.

Simply solution: Stop logging in!

 

[The Knife]

Someone in Connor's Wrongplanet thread has shared some more opinions

For the record, the person who claims to have been lurking is self-diagnosed with Asperger's, a.k.a. they're in ASD drag.

On the other hand...hurray! We're finally one of the cool kids!

 

[DN 420]

Someone in Connor's Wrongplanet thread has shared some more opinions

some cows get more compassion and outreach here than they do by their friends and family. chris

 

[Ruin]

First time in my life I've been referred to as a jock.

 

[silentprincess]

I was so spooked when I started to read his touching yourself chapter, that I could not read no more. I am still spooked now.

 

[wagglyplacebo]

we accept the person who believes that they are a menstrual pad here, its you Connor, you're the problem.

 

[HipstrsGonnaHip]

Since Chris Chan is no longer providing them with the entertainment that they crave,

Looks like someone needs to lurk a little more!

 

[Shiala]

From everything I've read here what disturbs me the most is his obsession with Molly Ringwald and his hatred of women and how he connects them.

He wants Molly to be his sister/lover/mother (which I'm ignoring for now but, uh, wow) and then goes on to imagine her in victimized situations where she's tortured or worse?

 

[Johnny Bravo]

some cows get more compassion and outreach here than they do by their friends and family. chris

We gave money to a retard who burned down his own house and he spent most of it on video games and Legos. We even bought his shitty artwork. I bet Chris' own mom wouldn't even buy his medallions.

 

[Arkangel]

We gave money to a exceptional individual who burned down his own house and he spent most of it on video games and Legos. We even bought his shitty artwork. I bet Chris' own mom wouldn't even buy his medallions.

And yet, we're still the "bad guys."