Dear Care and Feeding,
My son, age 11, and daughter, 8, often play with brothers in our neighborhood, Max, 13, and Tom, 12. Tom plays with my daughter quite well despite the age difference and enjoys playing pretend and stuffed animals with her. There is no one else her age or other little girls around, so I’m happy she has a playmate. Over the last couple weekends when the boys have been over, my husband and I have found clothes of my daughter’s, dresses, leggings, and tights and leotards, hidden (not hidden well) in the bathrooms, as well as unwrapped feminine hygiene products that are not clean anymore hidden behind the toilet paper rolls. Tom is frequently in the bathroom for 15 minutes or longer or will be in and out multiple times. We are sure he is trying on her clothes and experimenting with other products. There is no chance this is another child, as they’ve all been outside or far away from the bathrooms while this is happening.
My husband and I are trying to just not give him the opportunity to be in the bathroom for long periods of time and stay out of my daughter’s room. But my brother advised me to let him have access to both the clothes and tampons, as clearly he has a need that’s not being met elsewhere. Maybe he needs a safe space to figure things out. This child’s parents are quite conservative and I don’t imagine that they’d have a good response. I truly feel like I don’t care if he likes dresses or stimulating himself, but I don’t like it happening in secret in my bathroom with my daughter’s clothes. What’s the best way to handle this without embarrassing Tom and turning into the bathroom police? Ignore it, encourage it, try to stop it? I don’t know what to do.
—I Didn’t Expect This to Come Up
Dear I Didn’t Expect This,
Your brother has good intentions, but it is not actually your job to create a safe space for someone else’s child to try on tampons and wear your daughter’s clothing in your bathroom.
I agree that talking to the child’s parents is not the solution, but you are going to have to have a sit-down with Tom. Keep it light, don’t shame him, but be clear: You are glad that he and your daughter are friends, and he’s welcome in your house, but that you’ve found clothing and bathroom products in the bathroom and that taking things without permission and leaving them around is not appropriate behavior in someone else’s home. He should ask your permission before taking your family’s things.
I hope he can continue to have safe access to your home. If he shows an interest in discussing the larger issues at play here, please do convey to him that there’s nothing wrong with being interested in female clothing. You can order some books of his choosing and keep them at the house for him. (Heck, you can give him some clothes you no longer wear, if he wants to try them on in a private, nonbathroom space.) The main message needs to be that his interests are fine, but taking things without permission is not. I’m sorry if this is hard on him, but it’s a much better lesson to hear politely from a sympathetic adult than it is from either his parents or the parents at the next house he has play dates at, who may actually freak out.
TL,DR: a woman realizes that one of her kids' playmates. a 12yo boy who apparently enjoys a lot to play with her 8yo daughter, steals her aforementioned daughter's clothes, wears them and goes to the bathroom to masturbate, even sticking the mother's tampons up his butt, without disposing of the proofs.
Even though this kind of behavior should rise 10k red flags (if it were me, the little fucker would be out of my house in a second), this exceptional woman is worried about him, about his experimenting, about his conservative parents who would freak out and about how to stop him without hurting his feelings, so she asks help to an advice column.
The columnist is even more brain damaged, because he tells her she should buy for him a few books about transgenderism, so he can read them in the safety of her house. Nobody worried for the poor 8yo who could fall in the hands of a predator, if the behavior of the little pervert starts to escalate. The comments to the article are peak autism.
I read that, was properly horrified, and was trying to decide where to post it here. The troon megathread? No...because I don't think this kid is really a troon. I think he's definitely a pervert, possibly pedo, in the making. He may or may not also be an abuse victim at some point in the past himself. A lot of people believe that boys that age can't be perverts/predators and can't be abusive if they haven't been abused, but it absolutely can and does happen on both counts. But the crossdressing is really secondary to the utterly insane stalker behavior he is exhibiting towards an eight year old girl. Whose mother cares so little for her, she and her safety, let alone comfort and privacy in her own damn home, doesn't even merit an afterthought as mum scrubs jizz out of her favorite Frozen t-shirt and puts it back in the drawer.
The mom is clearly a wokeaholic who thinks she has caught a real live troon and she will get to save him, bring him out of the closet, and bask in the glow of secondhand queer celebrity status. And the columnist is more worried about not "outing" the little rapist-to-be to his mean republican parents than about anything a sane adult would care about here. Check out the cameo appearance of troon Slate employee Evan Urquart in the comments for bonus exceptionalism.
You are all SO fucking thinking that a high profile detransition wouldn't immediately get memoryholed by everyone on earth. If Caitlin went back to being Bruce tomorrow, the cover-up would be like the FTM shooter scaled up by a factor of 10000. Maybe one initial, sterilized report and then silence. If that. Or widespread "they were never trans" or "they can't speak on the commjnity anymore". Thinking it'll bring down the movement is so pie-in-the-sky that I have to throw in a few more rainbows.
TL,DR: a woman realizes that one of her kids' playmates. a 12yo boy who apparently enjoys a lot to play with her 8yo daughter, steals her aforementioned daughter's clothes, wears them and goes to the bathroom to masturbate, even sticking the mother's tampons up his butt, without disposing of the proofs.
The first step should be, as the columnist says, sit the boy down and tell him in clear, absolute terms that such behavior is not tolerated. No permission will ever be given. Skip the trans bullshit -- it is not your job, not it is within your capability, to sort out, investigate, or correct wayward sexual behaviors of someone else's preteens. If the boys tries this again, tell his parents and teachers.
Also tell your daughter to look out for red flags.
The first step should be, as the columnist says, sit the boy down and tell him in clear, absolute terms that such behavior is not tolerated. No permission will ever be given. Skip the trans bullshit -- it is not your job, not it is within your capability, to sort out, investigate, or correct wayward sexual behaviors of someone else's preteens. If the boys tries this again, tell his parents and teachers.
Also tell your daughter to look out for red flags.
That's not the daughter's job. Her job is to be a child and not have to think about this stuff. The parents' job is to keep track of the red flags and act appropriately. That means this little pervert is never allowed to cross their threshold ever again. Telling his parents exactly why would be a nice bonus, but is not strictly necessary. All that needs to be done is keep him away from their child.
Also, while this overtly-sexual and lacking-boundaries behavior could be a sign of abuse, we also live in a world where porn is easily accessible by everybody, even minors. Last year in GB it was acknowledged a worrying increase of assault/rape by minors on minors, even by siblings on siblings, and a lot of these case apparently were motivated by kids wanting to act scenes they saw in porn. So this kind of behavior should immediately cut away this boy from the kids in this family. But apparently the right of a young pervert to "explore his sexuality" (the mom said that she doesn't mind if he 'stimulates himself') is more important than protecting a little girl.
You are all SO fucking thinking that a high profile detransition wouldn't immediately get memoryholed by everyone on earth. If Caitlin went back to being Bruce tomorrow, the cover-up would be like the FTM shooter scaled up by a factor of 10000. Maybe one initial, sterilized report and then silence. If that. Or widespread "they were never trans" or "they can't speak on the commjnity anymore". Thinking it'll bring down the movement is so pie-in-the-sky that I have to throw in a few more rainbows.
They’d probably be shouted down as “problematic” or “transphobic,” no doubt through Medium articles and blog posts. Likely they’d be cast as the enemy for deliberately trying to undermine trans rights. The troon community, like any cult, shuns those who leave.
I think the change will come in about a decade, when there are a significant number of trans adults who did not choose to transition and are furious.
Also, while this overtly-sexual and lacking-boundaries behavior could be a sign of abuse, we also live in a world where porn is easily accessible by everybody, even minors. Last year in GB it was acknowledged a worrying increase of assault/rape by minors on minors, even by siblings on siblings, and a lot of these case apparently were motivated by kids wanting to act scenes they saw in porn. So this kind of behavior should immediately cut away this boy from the kids in this family. But apparently the right of a young pervert to "explore his sexuality" (the mom said that she doesn't mind if he 'stimulates himself') is more important than protecting a little girl.
Yeah from the behavior described that was my guess, that he was in over his head accessing explicit material online. Unless he was abused by Tampon Yaniv, he probably got all these ideas from porn.
'We’ve been given only one option, at the risk of unspeakable, devastating consequences: if a teen says she has gender dysphoria and wants to be a boy, then she should — must — be allowed to transition. That’s the story we’ve been sold, and it’s the only story we’ve been sold.'
'...to understand what kind of impact social media can have on a developing mind. I, in essence, became a different person after I started using tumblr. It’s an unhealthy, upsetting, and toxic environment to even observe, let alone participate in, as a teenager.'
'I saw my parents as bigots because tumblr told me to; because they held out for so long to prevent me from starting hormones. Anyone that slipped up and misgendered me was, according to tumblr, an enemy. One incident — one “she” — had the ability to make me absolutely hate someone.'
I just saw an FTM on instagram who is 18, they've been on T since 2017, and they've had top surgery and a hysterectomy.
What the fuck. The reason doctors don't like to do tubal litigations on 18 year old girls is because they're worried about regret. And a tubal litigation can be potentially be reversed, and it doesn't have anywhere near the potential complications of a hysterectomy!
I just saw an FTM on instagram who is 18, they've been on T since 2017, and they've had top surgery and a hysterectomy.
What the fuck. The reason doctors don't like to do tubal litigations on 18 year old girls is because they're worried about regret. And a tubal litigation can be potentially be reversed, and it doesn't have anywhere near the potential complications of a hysterectomy!
Someone on here said that in their area, women who want to be sterilized will go to the local FTM-treating doctor. Which seems like it could potentially be a bad idea, since they're not real gynecological surgeons, but what do I know.
Holy fuck I'm mad on the internet. That little shit would never ever be allowed anywhere near my house again. If I saw him in the yard, I would call his parents instantly. Who would counsel protecting this kid? Think about it: the little girl is 8, the boy is 12. That may as well be 15 and 25. That kid is way too old to not know exactly what he's doing and there's no damned way he hangs out with an 8 yr old girl for innocent reasons when there are two other older boys in this story he could be hanging out with. He's not a "budding, potential, future predator". He's a predator right now already and the very first thing I'd be doing after kicking his ass out of my house and calling his parents is trying to make sure he didn't already touch my daughter and if so, also call the goddamned cops.
Edit: honestly, if you think calling the cops is too much, consider that I would, in fact, let the kid leave without kicking his ever loving ass first. Which is frankly, very kind and mature of me.
Dear Care and Feeding,
My son, age 11, and daughter, 8, often play with brothers in our neighborhood, Max, 13, and Tom, 12. Tom plays with my daughter quite well despite the age difference and enjoys playing pretend and stuffed animals with her. There is no one else her age or other little girls around, so I’m happy she has a playmate. Over the last couple weekends when the boys have been over, my husband and I have found clothes of my daughter’s, dresses, leggings, and tights and leotards, hidden (not hidden well) in the bathrooms, as well as unwrapped feminine hygiene products that are not clean anymore hidden behind the toilet paper rolls. Tom is frequently in the bathroom for 15 minutes or longer or will be in and out multiple times. We are sure he is trying on her clothes and experimenting with other products. There is no chance this is another child, as they’ve all been outside or far away from the bathrooms while this is happening.
My husband and I are trying to just not give him the opportunity to be in the bathroom for long periods of time and stay out of my daughter’s room. But my brother advised me to let him have access to both the clothes and tampons, as clearly he has a need that’s not being met elsewhere. Maybe he needs a safe space to figure things out. This child’s parents are quite conservative and I don’t imagine that they’d have a good response. I truly feel like I don’t care if he likes dresses or stimulating himself, but I don’t like it happening in secret in my bathroom with my daughter’s clothes. What’s the best way to handle this without embarrassing Tom and turning into the bathroom police? Ignore it, encourage it, try to stop it? I don’t know what to do.
—I Didn’t Expect This to Come Up
Dear I Didn’t Expect This,
Your brother has good intentions, but it is not actually your job to create a safe space for someone else’s child to try on tampons and wear your daughter’s clothing in your bathroom.
I agree that talking to the child’s parents is not the solution, but you are going to have to have a sit-down with Tom. Keep it light, don’t shame him, but be clear: You are glad that he and your daughter are friends, and he’s welcome in your house, but that you’ve found clothing and bathroom products in the bathroom and that taking things without permission and leaving them around is not appropriate behavior in someone else’s home. He should ask your permission before taking your family’s things.
I hope he can continue to have safe access to your home. If he shows an interest in discussing the larger issues at play here, please do convey to him that there’s nothing wrong with being interested in female clothing. You can order some books of his choosing and keep them at the house for him. (Heck, you can give him some clothes you no longer wear, if he wants to try them on in a private, nonbathroom space.) The main message needs to be that his interests are fine, but taking things without permission is not. I’m sorry if this is hard on him, but it’s a much better lesson to hear politely from a sympathetic adult than it is from either his parents or the parents at the next house he has play dates at, who may actually freak out.
TL,DR: a woman realizes that one of her kids' playmates. a 12yo boy who apparently enjoys a lot to play with her 8yo daughter, steals her aforementioned daughter's clothes, wears them and goes to the bathroom to masturbate, even sticking the mother's tampons up his butt, without disposing of the proofs.
Even though this kind of behavior should rise 10k red flags (if it were me, the little fucker would be out of my house in a second), this exceptional woman is worried about him, about his experimenting, about his conservative parents who would freak out and about how to stop him without hurting his feelings, so she asks help to an advice column.
The columnist is even more brain damaged, because he tells her she should buy for him a few books about transgenderism, so he can read them in the safety of her house. Nobody worried for the poor 8yo who could fall in the hands of a predator, if the behavior of the little pervert starts to escalate. The comments to the article are peak autism.
You are all SO fucking thinking that a high profile detransition wouldn't immediately get memoryholed by everyone on earth. If Caitlin went back to being Bruce tomorrow, the cover-up would be like the FTM shooter scaled up by a factor of 10000. Maybe one initial, sterilized report and then silence. If that. Or widespread "they were never trans" or "they can't speak on the commjnity anymore". Thinking it'll bring down the movement is so pie-in-the-sky that I have to throw in a few more rainbows.
You're so pessimistic thinking it would just get memory holed and forgotten about. Right now? Maybe. In the future, no. If you can monetize the mutilation of your child as a troon the troon themselves can monetize their outrage, mental health issues, and of course- their attempts to de-transition. It's the perfect horror story in that it's based in reality, it's not fiction for a lot of innocent kids it's fact which makes it all the more horrifying. You can only hold up those rose tinted glasses up so long and we're currently in the era where there are a lot of 'high profile' trans kids. Those kids will grow up, they will eventually leave the nest, and they're going to get reality like a bucket of cold water- where will the blame go? to the rightful places- the parents, the medical world, the transgender movement.
Kiwifarms is literally a site devoted to cataloging drama but the fact remains for almost every human on earth the spectacle of stupidity that accompanies these things draws them in. There's a reason shows like Jerry Springer and all the similar ones last so long, people are horrified but enthralled by the utter insanity other people have experienced.
High profile de-transitioning is the ultimate real horror market. A big fuck you to the LGBT community that have been attempting to take and control spaces, a giant middle finger to the narrative the trans community have been trying to put forth as fact, and an affirmation of ultra conservative religious people. It's like the perfect storm and it's absolutely a matter of when not if.
There's a reason shows like Jerry Springer and all the similar ones last so long, people are horrified but enthralled by the utter insanity other people have experienced.
I completely blame Springer and the knockoff shock shows for this - some idiot comes out as a diaper-wearing doofus drinking vodka from a baby bottle, and even if the crowd jeers, some faggot at home doing the same thing finds validation in that, and then the jeers become OPPRESHUN and the ball gets rolling.
Really interesting interview. An endocrinologist who fights against transing children talks about biology, hormones, trans politics & how he thinks this shit will finally end (not in a good way).
The more of this shit I read, the more I think people are optimistic thinking it’ll change soon.
Because an eight year old girl who has been told that she has no right to feel comfortable in her own home, no right to say ‘no’ to sexualised behaviour that crosses her boundaries is a goldmine for predators. We are raising an entire generation of kids who are exposed to porn too early. Who are exposed to sexualised behaviour too early. Who are told that they MUST accommodate the sexual perversions of boys and men. And that they must not just tolerate but celebrate those perversions.
It’s scary stuff. This generation growing up now is going to have serious issues growing up. How will they raise their kids in turn when their own boundaries are so weak and they’re unable to say no and engage in critical thought?
The little sod would never cross my threshold again. Of course you tell his parents. He himself may have been abused and need help, but that’s their issue to deal with. The girls parents job is to protect their daughter from a predatory boy and they are failing dismally.
The more of this shit I read, the more I think people are optimistic thinking it’ll change soon.
Because an eight year old girl who has been told that she has no right to feel comfortable in her own home, no right to say ‘no’ to sexualised behaviour that crosses her boundaries is a goldmine for predators. We are raising an entire generation of kids who are exposed to porn too early. Who are exposed to sexualised behaviour too early. Who are told that they MUST accommodate the sexual perversions of boys and men. And that they must not just tolerate but celebrate those perversions.
It’s scary stuff. This generation growing up now is going to have serious issues growing up. How will they raise their kids in turn when their own boundaries are so weak and they’re unable to say no and engage in critical thought?
The little sod would never cross my threshold again. Of course you tell his parents. He himself may have been abused and need help, but that’s their issue to deal with. The girls parents job is to protect their daughter from a predatory boy and they are failing dismally.
Agreed. As much as we all like to dream about Yaniv getting his balls degloved by a Sikh with a vendetta, Jazz suing his parents into paupery, and the zoomers rising up and throwing gender doctors from helicopters, the more likely outcome is that this upcoming generation is going to be too shellshocked and damaged to mount an effective resistance, and we are going to have to wait a bit longer for all to be right in the world.
Saw this shared in a mom group. This is what now apparently passes for a post in "shitposting" groups in some quarters of the internet (not sure if it's still there, not in the original group)...attention-posting complete with a disclaimer about how her baby is too beautiful for public viewing, and if you ever say anything mean she won't put photos of her baby out there on the internet for pedos to gawk at again.
So...boy names. This is a boy child. But no one's going to put pronouns on the child, because mommy's already got plans for what her baby will want to watch, what he'll want to wear, who will be interested in dating him, who he should be interested in dating, what he'll want to be called...and spoiler alert, that last one is not "he."
In honor of this mom, and all the moms like her, I'd like to present a little ditty.
Mother, should I smash the status quo?
Mother, do you think they'll like drag shows?
Mother do you think they'll cut apart my balls?
Mother, will Trump build the wall?
Mother, should I get my marker changed?
Mother, should I get a neo-strange?
Mother, can you sign the consent line?
Will they stop puberty in time?
Hush now, baby, baby, don't you cry
Mama's gonna make all of your nightmares come true.
Mama's gonna put all of her hormones in you.
Mama's gonna keep you right here in our house.
She threw out your shirts and she bought you a blouse.
Mama's gonna keep baby's feminine charms...
Ooooh babe
Oooooh babe
Oooh babe, of course mama's gonna come for your balls.
Mother, do you think I'm trans enough?
Mother, do you think E's dangerous?
Mother, will a woman lend me her spare parts?
Mother, will E stop my heart?
Hush now, baby, baby don't you cry
Mama's gonna pick out all of your pronouns for you
Mama won't let any old cissy mock you
Mama's gonna dilate your newly-made hole.
Mama will teach you routines on the pole
Mama's gonna trans baby before his teens...
Oooh, baby
Ooooh, baby
Oooh baby, you'll always be a theyby to me.
Mother, did you have to be so dumb?
----------
(Ron Howard voice): ...and that's how you write a shitpost.
Saw this shared in a mom group. This is what now apparently passes for a post in "shitposting" groups in some quarters of the internet (not sure if it's still there, not in the original group)...attention-posting complete with a disclaimer about how her baby is too beautiful for public viewing, and if you ever say anything mean she won't put photos of her baby out there on the internet for pedos to gawk at again.
So...boy names. This is a boy child. But no one's going to put pronouns on the child, because mommy's already got plans for what her baby will want to watch, what he'll want to wear, who will be interested in dating him, who he should be interested in dating, what he'll want to be called...and spoiler alert, that last one is not "he."
In honor of this mom, and all the moms like her, I'd like to present a little ditty.
Mother, should I smash the status quo?
Mother, do you think they'll like drag shows?
Mother do you think they'll cut apart my balls?
Mother, will Trump build the wall?
Mother, should I get my marker changed?
Mother, should I get a neo-strange?
Mother, can you sign the consent line?
Will they stop puberty in time?
Hush now, baby, baby, don't you cry
Mama's gonna make all of your nightmares come true.
Mama's gonna put all of her hormones in you.
Mama's gonna keep you right here in our house.
She threw out your shirts and she bought you a blouse.
Mama's gonna keep baby's feminine charms...
Ooooh babe
Oooooh babe
Oooh babe, of course mama's gonna come for your balls.
Mother, do you think I'm trans enough?
Mother, do you think E's dangerous?
Mother, will a woman lend me her spare parts?
Mother, will E stop my heart?
Hush now, baby, baby don't you cry
Mama's gonna pick out all of your pronouns for you
Mama won't let any old cissy mock you
Mama's gonna dilate your newly-made hole.
Mama will teach you routines on the pole
Mama's gonna trans baby before his teens...
Oooh, baby
Ooooh, baby
Oooh baby, you'll always be a theyby to me.
Mother, did you have to be so dumb?
----------
(Ron Howard voice): ...and that's how you write a shitpost.
