Jasper Carewatch - ASPCAck-Ack-Ack

[Crichax]

Is Phil a Homestuck?

 

[Freshtodeath]

according to comments below his tweet it is rare for shelters to accept a declawed cat. So I bet Phil made a deal with kat he'd get a cat as long as it was declawed. He is fucked up he's a monster.

 

[Prince Lotor]

according to comments below his tweet it is rare for shelters to accept a declawed cat. So I bet Phil made a deal with kat he'd get a cat as long as it was declawed. He is fucked up he's a monster.

Municipal shelters, by law, have to accept every animal brought to them. Don't get your info from a bunch of Twitter randos just looking to shit on Phil for whatever their personal payoff is.

I'm having fun shitting on Phil because he just fucked his personal credibility into the dirt even harder, and it's funny to throw shit at him to watch him REE and get all fumpy and frazzled.
Animal shelters intake somewhere around 3.3 million cats and adopt out 1.6 miilion cats (and euthanize about 1 million cats) every year. There are somewhere around 90+ million cats living in American homes as pets. That one such cat found it's way to Phil's home with the particular story Phil told is odd, but not unordinary https://www.aspca.org/animal-homelessness/shelter-intake-and-surrender/pet-statistics
I lived near a University for many years and the number of dumb bitches who would get a kitten randomly during the school year and then just abandon it outside forever when they went back home for the summer because 'It's a cat, it'll be fine, it has instincts' was astonishing. . .at first.

Jasper does look like a 2 to 2½ year old cat to me. Until Phil fucks up and starts contradicting himself I'll take it at face-value that one of those 3.3 million cat's stories last year was: someone got a kitten and then got rid of it, then after months in a shelter Kathy adopted it. . .but I am really enjoying the memes shitting on Phil. Like Phil just says, 'I have a cat we adopted' and the internet responds with 'YOU MONSTER!!! GIVE IT BACK YOU DISGUSTING THEIF!!! YOU MUTILATED IT YOU HORRIBLE MONSTER!!!' to which Phil rejoinders 'GO FUCK YOURSELF! REEEE!!!!' ETA: Makes me think of this moment from Team FourStar's Fallout 4 playthrough

Spoiler

 

[Schmeckel]

That one such cat found it's way to Phil's home with the particular story Phil told is odd, but not unordinary

The one big thing in his story that just doesn't pass the smell test to me is how the cat came from Arkansas (or some Midwestern state...). A large city area like Seattle wouldn't need to import animals from other states, unless it was some hyper-specific breed of animal that was available in some other affiliated shelter (or the shelter facilitated a purchase from a reputable breeder, something my family did with a dog many years ago) . Unless part of the tale is that the cat had long since made it to the shelter by way of Midwest, it's just unfathomable that pig and pony went perusing local shelters and later said "golly jeepers, this one from Arkansas fits the bill!" I just can't get past that.

I still am of mind to believe that they A. Adopted young cat, B. Had said cat declawed, and C. Held off on telling the PRC so they could bilk kids out of their money as long as they could.

Phil is a liar of the highest degree. He'd lie about his own name if it meant conning a few shekels out of his paypigs. I just can't imagine him being genuine about an animal he held behind a $1000 pay wall after several months.

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

Yeah his story and explanations smell like shit. Him just pigsplaining how a cat works drives me up the wall as a cat owner myself.

He talks like it's this greatest thing like no one knows how cats work. Yes Phil, cats like to rest a lot and like other cat like things such as: Laser Pointers, Cat houses, looking out windows, and how they do whatever the fuck they want and when they want.

So just him going on about how this cat is the greatest thing it just tells me how much of a loser he is that he turned into a weird cat lady. If he had this thing for a year, why is he explaining so much shit cats do with such enthusiasm. It just comes off, to me, that he simply got this thing very recently. Or he's just putting so much happiness into it because he thinks it will generate him more views and donations about his new prop pet. Did the same thing with Khet with all those hopes of cooking meals for him and having another head to generate more income.

Also if cats can do whatever the fuck they want, like maybe pass out in the middle of the floor, why is he scheduling when the damn thing gets on stream and if it's even able to. It's hanging out with cat but what if the fucker wants to go lay down next to a door downstairs. It's just so damn strange.

Edit: Fuck I'm scrambled tonight. One last thing.
Seeing a girl throw a cat on stream might have got him some petty thoughts of showing his cat and how great of a person he is humanizing the thing.
Just like the girl on youtube who fakes her personality being bubbly and loving to her dog, then realize that she spits on it and treats it like shit when the cameras aren't on.

 

[DankSydePhil]

Declawed is now a banned word in phils chat btw.

Anyways tin foil hat time, just thinking here but I swear this was planned but only if the right time presented itself. Knowing if phil did this anytime during the year while doing his I need this money or ill lose the house scams he's done all year, constantly saying he's overdrafted etc, would of cause backlash. Adding to this point how Phil now these past few months has told his chat, Hey dont give women money and gifts cause they'll just use you, whoever that one guy in his chat that was donation telling Phil about his problems and Phil Phil basicslly saying they just want money, not you. But hey you can give me money and it goes to the stream. And my final point to wrap this all together all Alex Jones like, not even 2 weeks after Natalia “Alinity” Mogollon’s backlash of throwing her cat on stream and the marjory backlash that made. (Still till this day Phil will bring it up) just makes me think that one action itself was the opportunity Phil was looking for. Presents himself as this amazing animal lover to his Wheelchair fans, now we got a mascot for the steam when in reality he could of shown Jasper last year. And now not even a day after first showing Jasper, has a emote already made of said cat. This was quietly planned for awhile, and im willing to bet if Alinity never threw her cat, we wouldn't even know Jasper Existed.

 

[Pargon]

Declawed is now a banned word in phils chat btw.

Anyways tin foil hat time, just thinking here but I swear this was planned but only if the right time presented itself. Knowing if phil did this anytime during the year while doing his I need this money or ill lose the house scams he's done all year, constantly saying he's overdrafted etc, would of cause backlash. Adding to this point how Phil now these past few months has told his chat, Hey dont give women money and gifts cause they'll just use you, whoever that one guy in his chat that was donation telling Phil about his problems and Phil Phil basicslly saying they just want money, not you. But hey you can give me money and it goes to the stream. And my final point to wrap this all together all Alex Jones like, not even 2 weeks after Natalia “Alinity” Mogollon’s backlash of throwing her cat on stream and the marjory backlash that made. (Still till this day Phil will bring it up) just makes me think that one action itself was the opportunity Phil was looking for. Presents himself as this amazing animal lover to his Wheelchair fans, now we got a mascot for the steam when in reality he could of shown Jasper last year. And now not even a day after first showing Jasper, has a emote already made of said cat. This was quietly planned for awhile, and im willing to bet if Alinity never threw her cat, we wouldn't even know Jasper Existed.

I think this theory holds water. Phil has a history of using other streamers' and YouTubers' bad behavior to make himself look good, cf. ProJared, etc. Whether he already had the cat andjust saw the Alinity news as a chance or decided it was a good enough excuse to finally cave to Kat and go and get one, the proximity of Alinity's fuck-up and Phil introducing Jasper is suspect.

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

Yeah his story and explanations smell like shit. Him just pigsplaining how a cat works drives me up the wall as a cat owner myself.

He talks like it's this greatest thing like no one knows how cats work. Yes Phil, cats like to rest a lot and like other cat like things such as: Laser Pointers, Cat houses, looking out windows, and how they do whatever the fuck they want and when they want.

So just him going on about how this cat is the greatest thing it just tells me how much of a loser he is that he turned into a weird cat lady. If he had this thing for a year, why is he explaining so much shit cats do with such enthusiasm. It just comes off, to me, that he simply got this thing very recently. Or he's just putting so much happiness into it because he thinks it will generate him more views and donations about his new prop pet. Did the same thing with Khet with all those hopes of cooking meals for him and having another head to generate more income.

Also if cats can do whatever the fuck they want, like maybe pass out in the middle of the floor, why is he scheduling when the damn thing gets on stream and if it's even able to. It's hanging out with cat but what if the fucker wants to go lay down next to a door downstairs. It's just so damn strange.

Edit: Fuck I'm scrambled tonight. One last thing.
Seeing a girl throw a cat on stream might have got him some petty thoughts of showing his cat and how great of a person he is humanizing the thing.
Just like the girl on youtube who fakes her personality being bubbly and loving to her dog, then realize that she spits on it and treats it like shit when the cameras aren't on.

IKR - and what about the fucking idiocy of "cats and frogs get along no problem.." ( heard it on Teven restream) .WTF, even a non cat person knows cats beat up on smaller creatures as a matter of course. What a complete spastic he is...

 

[Cyber Bowling]

The one big thing in his story that just doesn't pass the smell test to me is how the cat came from Arkansas (or some Midwestern state...). A large city area like Seattle wouldn't need to import animals from other states, unless it was some hyper-specific breed of animal that was available in some other affiliated shelter (or the shelter facilitated a purchase from a reputable breeder, something my family did with a dog many years ago) . Unless part of the tale is that the cat had long since made it to the shelter by way of Midwest, it's just unfathomable that pig and pony went perusing local shelters and later said "golly jeepers, this one from Arkansas fits the bill!" I just can't get past that.

I still am of mind to believe that they A. Adopted young cat, B. Had said cat declawed, and C. Held off on telling the PRC so they could bilk kids out of their money as long as they could.

Phil is a liar of the highest degree. He'd lie about his own name if it meant conning a few shekels out of his paypigs. I just can't imagine him being genuine about an animal he held behind a $1000 pay wall after several months.

My sister adopted a cat from Tennessee despite living in a place roughly as big/bigger than Phil's/being nowhere near Tennessee. She wasn't specifically looking for out of state cats, she just went through an adoption agency directory and ended up picking that cat. I'm not even sure if it mentioned it in the description or not. If I remember right, the agency handles the transport stuff and you just pick the cat up from your local place. I actually buy that part of the story the most because I have a hard time imagining Phil wanting to go to a local shelter. He'd only be able to do so on his precious day off and I genuinely don't think he'd be assed to take the time to do something just for Kat, since it seems highly unlikely he wanted the cat. I think he'd just go online and hit up the first results, which would presumably be a larger non-state based adoption agency. It is kinda weird, but it doesn't seem like the type of thing Phil would lie about since it doesn't make him look better/potentially get him more money/insult someone he doesn't like.

Speaking of, remember how Phil tried to originally lie that one of the reasons he was visiting his parents was because Kat missed having cats and his parents had X amount of cats? Wonder how many other lies are packed into that CT trip.

The one thing I did question was how long he supposedly had the cat, but that's solely based on the fact that he didn't monetize it sooner. Knowing how Phil operates, I wouldn't be surprised if he got it shortly after the first time he mentioned it. That's usually how he operates. It seems like a relatively moot point though, given the layers of lies already associated with Jasper. At this point my biggest question is how long until he starts using the cat as an excuse for why he needs money. I think he'll sit on vet bills for a little, but I expect him to try and get sympathy donations from his whales by "casually mentioning" how hard it is to buy food or how he wants to get something for Jasper but just can't afford it.

 

[Freshtodeath]

Aren't animals from arkansas usually from puppy mill type places?

 

[DankSydePhil]

Declawed is now a banned word in phils chat btw.

Anyways tin foil hat time, just thinking here but I swear this was planned but only if the right time presented itself. Knowing if phil did this anytime during the year while doing his I need this money or ill lose the house scams he's done all year, constantly saying he's overdrafted etc, would of cause backlash. Adding to this point how Phil now these past few months has told his chat, Hey dont give women money and gifts cause they'll just use you, whoever that one guy in his chat that was donation telling Phil about his problems and Phil Phil basicslly saying they just want money, not you. But hey you can give me money and it goes to the stream. And my final point to wrap this all together all Alex Jones like, not even 2 weeks after Natalia “Alinity” Mogollon’s backlash of throwing her cat on stream and the marjory backlash that made. (Still till this day Phil will bring it up) just makes me think that one action itself was the opportunity Phil was looking for. Presents himself as this amazing animal lover to his Wheelchair fans, now we got a mascot for the steam when in reality he could of shown Jasper last year. And now not even a day after first showing Jasper, has a emote already made of said cat. This was quietly planned for awhile, and im willing to bet if Alinity never threw her cat, we wouldn't even know Jasper Existed.

More Proof

 

[A Money Creature]

More ProofView attachment 880877

Phil is a martyr for animals everywhere

 

[Schmeckel]

My sister adopted a cat from Tennessee despite living in a place roughly as big/bigger than Phil's/being nowhere near Tennessee. She wasn't specifically looking for out of state cats, she just went through an adoption agency directory and ended up picking that cat. I'm not even sure if it mentioned it in the description or not. If I remember right, the agency handles the transport stuff and you just pick the cat up from your local place. I actually buy that part of the story the most because I have a hard time imagining Phil wanting to go to a local shelter. He'd only be able to do so on his precious day off and I genuinely don't think he'd be assed to take the time to do something just for Kat, since it seems highly unlikely he wanted the cat. I think he'd just go online and hit up the first results, which would presumably be a larger non-state based adoption agency. It is kinda weird, but it doesn't seem like the type of thing Phil would lie about since it doesn't make him look better/potentially get him more money/insult someone he doesn't like.

Speaking of, remember how Phil tried to originally lie that one of the reasons he was visiting his parents was because Kat missed having cats and his parents had X amount of cats? Wonder how many other lies are packed into that CT trip.

The one thing I did question was how long he supposedly had the cat, but that's solely based on the fact that he didn't monetize it sooner. Knowing how Phil operates, I wouldn't be surprised if he got it shortly after the first time he mentioned it. That's usually how he operates. It seems like a relatively moot point though, given the layers of lies already associated with Jasper. At this point my biggest question is how long until he starts using the cat as an excuse for why he needs money. I think he'll sit on vet bills for a little, but I expect him to try and get sympathy donations from his whales by "casually mentioning" how hard it is to buy food or how he wants to get something for Jasper but just can't afford it.

Phil literally lies about everything and anything, regardless of the reason. I mean, shit, he's lied about having extra food from taco bell in a video. "THAT BIG BAG OVER THERE? THERE'S NO OTHER FOOD IN THAT BAG, IT'S JUST THERE FOR DECORATION." I have no doubt that in order to keep the horse in the barn, he would absolutely go shelter hopping (especially because there's not too much human interaction involved). If his story was "Found cat on site, was in Midwest city, adoption agency handled the transport, cat came home..." that would be another thing entirely. But his tale is that, for some reason or another, this cat HAPPENED to be transported to Seattle, and all his paperwork HAPPENED to be lost, and they just HAPPENED to find that one declawed cat that was the best cat in the history of cats.... No. Phil's a documented liar, and taking any part of his story at face value...well, if you do that, I'm a Nigerian prince with a bridge to sell you.

The fact he didn't monetize the cat sooner is an interesting twist, though. I bet his calendar doesn't have game releases on it anymore. It has money disasters for him to use to generate pitybux from his fans. First it was back state tahxes that lasted for months, then federal tahxes that lasted for months, then it was parents possibly dying (but they're in good health), then the mini overdraft arc, and now we're getting into the hardcore begging season with the feline DLC. Once the contributions start to dry up, we'll be onto the cat DLC has errors and needs to be patched saga.

And the funny thing is? There's a lot of things that we're discussing that he could easily prove right/wrong with just taking a picture of the adoption agreement (or whatever, it's different from place to place, the cat we just adopted came with an info sheet listing all the kittens from the litter and the home they came from) with certain info redacted. But, no. That would require 2 minutes of work and he can't possibly do that between shtreems.

 

[ZehnBoat]

The one big thing in his story that just doesn't pass the smell test to me is how the cat came from Arkansas (or some Midwestern state...).

phil is making shit up to make himself seem bigger and more important
in phil's tiny pickled mind he can't just say "we went to a shelter and got the cat"
that's for ordinary morons, for the plebs
phil's cat has to have been through a long trip
en epic to rival Gilgamesh and Beowulf

and when phil finally buys his grill, it wont be "i went to the store and bought it"
it'll be "I WENT TO THE STORE AND A DETRACTOR TRIED TO BUY IT BUT THE MANAGER SAID HE LIKED MUH 10 YEAR LEGACY AND LET ME KILL THE DETRACTOR AND EVERYONE IN THE STORE STOOD UP AND CLAPPED AND SEXY WOMEN THREW THEMSELVES ON ME BUT I SAID SORRY BUT IM MARRIED *points thumb at door* TO MY WIFE, KHET, OKAY?"

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

More ProofView attachment 880877

Fucking bingo. He's just like all the other assholes who humanize their pets to make themselves look like caring hoomons. Him parading his cat, virtue signaling for animal abuse, and acting like a complete clown about it.

It all makes sense now. I doubt he had it for a year now. He probably wanted to bank on recent animal abuse fuckery going on because that shit was trending from the cat throwing thot to the recent bitch spitting on her dog.

Sounds familiar huh? Oh projared did something bad? Better act like he's the worst thing ever and Phil is a good boy. Etika, someone you dont know whos picking up some trend on twitter? Pretend like you care and make it about you for trolling/depression. Oh some bitch threw her cat and someone spits on their dog? Better get a cat asap and pretend like you fucking love the thing.

It all makes sense to me at least. Like I said before, he acts like someone who got their first girlfriend and will not shut the fuck up about it. That it's a cat and you shouldn't be this enthused about it unless he has some motive or some sort of agenda to go right ahead and use the fucker. Especially if you claim to have had it for a year or so already.

This dude doesn't care for pets. He has had family cats(hasn't met one ever before btw hint hint), a pet rabbit when he was a young shit who probably didn't care for it. Was probably more of a family pet. And fucking caged gerbals(hamsters?).

Let's see how long he can keep this up. I give it a month before the cat isn't put on a pedestal because this animal abuse trend dies down.

 

[mollymawk]

The 1K cat is all decked out with frivolous items, including a choice of cat beds to sleep on.
No garbage food for this cat. He eats the good-quality stuff with real sardines in it.
A "lot of people" have been asking for Phil's wife's cat merchandise.
Foreboding loud noise signals the 1K cat merch is negative juju.
Which Khat is Phil referring to? It is very confusing. Consider renaming your wife.

Mentally ill people want to harm the 1K cat. [1] [2]

========

Phil pawing at the laptop, each strike representing a "hint".
Phil believes he is too lenient with bans.
Immediate lie, followed by the actual truth. Just an archive channel.
"I can pick up a controller and play any game on Pro mode."
"If you are only here to see me suffer, leave".

"I guess you're just immature, unlike me."
People change.
Morons everywhere.
Dissing EVO staff.
"I will ignore troll tips from now on."

Miscellaneous [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

 

[Nigel of Ukip]

Very random, but would someone happen to have the clips of Phil saying he will not wake up Jasper because he's not an asshole, or whatever?

 

[millais]

Pretty soon there will be more Instagram/Twitter photos and Twitch footage of the Cat than of the Kat

 

[PieceofShet]

Pretty soon there will be more Instagram/Twitter photos and Twitch footage of the Cat than of the Kat

Cat cant say no to dsp exploiting him.

 

[Adamska]

More ProofView attachment 880877

Pig is so goddamn happy he can show off this cat finally, especially to pretend that he isn't a pile of shit who will never be called by his birth name again by me due to how much of a pig he acts like. Especially since he made so much money off of it.

Shame he'll just ignore Jasper until he dies.