Community Munchausen's by Internet (Malingerers, Munchies, Spoonies, etc) - Feigning Illnesses for Attention

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If you’re “lucky”. Lol. All of that sounds like an absolute pain in the ass, especially if you don’t need them. I guess the flip side to that coin is, if you don’t really need them, you don’t have to really use them. I guess that’s why it is rare to find any munchies that have spouses and children. Ain’t nobody got time for a toddler yanking on yer port that you don’t really need. Who wants to pretend to need a wheelchair to go use the bathroom the 50 times a night you have to while pregnant? Ugh.

They only have to use them when they feel like it, and they don't have to go to work or school or shopping or any other mundane crap wherein all of that would become burdensome. They trot out their toys for instagram posts, doctor appointments, WalMart runs, and Disney trips, but they can take off their sick kid costume and say they're having a good day whenever it becomes annoying.

It's how that obnoxious little snowflake NJ/Paws & Love/whatever her name is can have an unspayed "service dog" that goes into heat every few months and has to be pulled from work until it's done (and is now getting an unneutered male puppy that she has no intention of castrating, which will surely not result in her "service dog" getting pregnant all the time and being unable to work.) Someone who actually needed that dog would not be like "yeah whatever I can put my life on hold for six months while my dog goes into heat, becomes pregnant, has a litter, and nurses it!
 
They only have to use them when they feel like it, and they don't have to go to work or school or shopping or any other mundane crap wherein all of that would become burdensome. They trot out their toys for instagram posts, doctor appointments, WalMart runs, and Disney trips, but they can take off their sick kid costume and say they're having a good day whenever it becomes annoying.

It's how that obnoxious little snowflake NJ/Paws & Love/whatever her name is can have an unspayed "service dog" that goes into heat every few months and has to be pulled from work until it's done (and is now getting an unneutered male puppy that she has no intention of castrating, which will surely not result in her "service dog" getting pregnant all the time and being unable to work.) Someone who actually needed that dog would not be like "yeah whatever I can put my life on hold for six months while my dog goes into heat, becomes pregnant, has a litter, and nurses it!
Oh. Dear. God. In. Heaven. What in the actual fuck a duck. Wwhyyy?! Just why?! You need a service dog so badly you can have time/energy to deal with a dog period, and potential puppies?!

Listen, I’m not going to tell disabled people they shouldn’t have puppies or children or ponies or whatever they desire to raise, but don’t fucking tell me you NEED a “service” that a service dog performs and then tell me it’s fine if that dog has to take time off from doing that task.

Okay, let’s say you have seizures and the alerting your dog does allows you to take necessary precautions to avoid having seizures in deadly places (crossing streets, while taking a bath, etc.) Now, that dog is pregnant, then nursing, and what, your nursing dog is just going to stop nursing to come and alert you?

What kind of “task” does she pretend this dog is necessary that she can’t do herself?!
 
What kind of “task” does she pretend this dog is necessary that she can’t do herself?!
I don't follow her too closely because she enrages me in the worst, not fun way, but from memory she claims a FND/conversion disorder that causes periodic paralysis and POTS/GP symptoms which require a wheelchair (when it's not inconvenient to be in one), a picc line, and a service dog to do nearly everything from her. She also claims to sometimes be "non-verbal" either because of 'tism or PTSD or something. Someone else can correct me if i'm wrong.

She's one of the worst w/r/t abusing owner-trainer service doggo laws. Her first, Hero, was super reactive and attacked other service dogs at some conference. She "retired" him then un-retired him a dozen times, got a new puppy to train while still working this batshit reactive dangerous animal. Then got both the old service dog and the puppy into schutzhund/IPO, something that should absolutely disqualify the puppy for service work on the fucking spot. Then she started working at the kennel she trains her dogs at, and she bought yet another puppy while her current one is still very young. Now she thinks spay/neuter is "mutilation" so while I think Hero is neutered neither of the puppies are going to be. So to review: she has a "service dog" she sometimes works who has a bite record and dog reactivity and is training schutzhund; a "service dog in training" that is unspayed and training schutzhund, and an unneutered male puppy coming home soon that is also probably going to be training schutzhund. She's also always broke and begging for money online so people on IF (post deleted because "boolyeeng") were speculating she was intentionally getting the male so that she could get her female pregnant and sell the puppies as natural service dogs to other munchies.

Let me explain the magnitude of training a "service dog" but also a schutzhund dog. Shutzhund is a dogsport developed for German Shepherds which revolves around mastering three disciplines: tracking, obedience, and protection. Those first two, whatever. I'm a huge fan of tracking as a recreational activity for those dogs who live nose-to-ground as it provides needed physical and mental stimulation. Obedience? Great. They do heels, down-stays, retrievals, recalls, ignoring other dogs and distractions, stuff that a service dog should learn. Protection? Danger Will Robinson. They train the dogs to seek out, bite, and hold onto a decoy (human being wearing a heavily padded sleeve) on the handler's command. First they track around a field of blinds looking for the decoy then bark to let the handler know, prevent them from leaving the area until called off by the handler. Then the decoy pretends to attack the handler or try to escape and the dog must jump up and bite them on the sleeve and not let go until called off. It's a lot like police dog training.

Her dog already has aggression issues, she's already shown she can't stop him from lunging at other dogs, and now she's training him to bite humans. And she's training her "service dog" to bite humans too. Because, you know, she's totally under control and there is no chance that dog gets frightened by someone she thinks is attacking her handler but is actually a small child or a store clerk and reacts the way she's been trained to react.
 
What’s with these spoonies saying their pain is past the end of the pain scale? The universally accepted pain scale in the medical model ends at 10, period. Do they realize how blatantly stupid and unbelievable they are? Not to mention, the pain scale is an arbitrary fucking number range. So you want to say your pain is a 16/20? That’s the same thing as a 8/10 you fucking idiot. A 20/20? That’s a 10/10 and you’re still fucking lying. These brats make it worse for everyone else.
It’d be more believable if these people claimed a decrease sense of pain that led to the massive amount of complications they have, but that wouldn’t get them fun pain meds.

Decreased pain sensitivity is possible and 100% genetic. I’m waiting for someone to successfully fake not noticing a broken bone or kidney stone. You know just raise the pain tolerance bar.
 
Ophelia has fucking bed sores, probably from sitting on her fat ass and not moving at all.
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Maybe going off all your meds would be good for you since apparently they don't help one bit
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They need to grow up, put away the dolls and toys, and you know, adult. But munchies are allergic to adulting.
 
Ophelia has fucking bed sores, probably from sitting on her fat ass and not moving at all.

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Maybe going off all your meds would be good for you since apparently they don't help one bit
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They need to grow up, put away the dolls and toys, and you know, adult. But munchies are allergic to adulting.
Jesus H Christ. You have to be fucking immobile to get bed sores. Just being sedentary or extremely lazy won't do it. Old people in nursing homes are able to avoid bed sores. Unconscious people in comas avoid them. But this fat ass can't? I bet her hygiene is just fucking stellar, too. God the stench that must waft off her...
 
I had to rate this as optimistic for two reasons: 1) that our blessed leaker delivers on the update 2) that she’s dying and actually needs any of the medical resources she’s wasting. If you’re gonna tease and bait with dying, just do it. Don’t waste the Narcan.

So stunted she has to resort to getting attention with death and suicide baiting. 15 years old and I’d give you a pass on that. Otherwise, go smoke a bowl, grab a beer, and do what the rest of us do with our horrible lives and complain about capitalism on reddit.

IMO she's one of the most successful munchies. I do believe she has very significant health problems now, caused by her addiction, munching, and ED. So now she's getting what she wants, full access to attention from medical staff because she messed up her body so badly.
 
Jesus H Christ. You have to be fucking immobile to get bed sores. Just being sedentary or extremely lazy won't do it. Old people in nursing homes are able to avoid bed sores. Unconscious people in comas avoid them. But this fat ass can't? I bet her hygiene is just fucking stellar, too. God the stench that must waft off her...
Taking it to another level to get Medicaid to pay for a mattress and ROHO cushion. I find it “highly” interesting that she claims to have been a zombie with her meds, which everyone noticed and developed bed sores. Literally, high and comatose from meds and has the audacity to blame doctors, while claiming she feels so much better when she missed a dose. I literally laughed my ass off when she said she felt better missing meds. Yes, that’s what happens, dear Ophelia, when you take medications YOU.DONT.NEED.

Let’s be optimistic and pretend she’s getting opiates. What happens when you take opiates and you’re not in serious pain? Number one, you experience more side effects such as drowsiness and sedation. Number two, your body’s brain and neurotransmitters decide that you no longer need to produce your own opiates (endorphins). So, you down-regulate your own pain relieving mechanisms while up-regulating your number of pain transmitters in your joints. Your body is tricked into thinking that, since it isn’t injured and you are getting opiate receptors blocked, that it needs to become more sensitive at sensing pain. So, what ends up happening is that tolerance to pain goes down, natural pain relieving response goes down, and sensitivity to pain goes up.

This is why addicts effing hurt everywhere when they stop taking opiates. Or they keep wanting more to relieve pain as tolerance builds and builds.

This doesn’t happen in patients who have a legitimate painful chronic condition that is communicated on the body’s mu receptors. If the body has a condition that causes constant opiate (mu) mediated pain, (muscular type pain and some spinal cord injury that is NOT nerve pain or disk pain), the body generally fatigues of producing it’s own endorphins over the first few hours to days. Relieving this pain with opiates early actually stops the body from developing chronic pain cycles. If a chronic pain cycle has developed, this pain, untreated can eventually lead to adrenal fatigue (marked by high cortisol that drops off) and actual complete adrenal failure (then complete cortisol depletion).

People with this type of pain usually (barring issue with cytochrome p450 enzyme genetic issue) respond well to a low dose of opiates and once a therapeutic dose has been achieved, maintain that dose for years and years, sometimes decades, without need to increase dose and with very minimal side effects. Patients who NEED this medication to avoid adrenal compromise are usually high functioning on meds, able to work, have families and DO NOT display any of the zombie-like symptoms Ophelia mentions her family noticed. They also do NOT feel better when missing a dose. This is how pain management physicians determine whether opiate therapy is appropriate or not, and whether patients need the medication. If a low dose doesn’t work, a high dose could cause amplified pain syndrome.
 
So I just discovered a girl I graduated high school with is now a Chronic Lyme Warrior. She is a failed actress living in Cali now and currently directing a music video (I think) about avoiding ticks. Here is a pic she posted on Facebook today. I can update more if anyone is interested as she continues her brave fight.





Edit: sorry, I didn’t see that someone already made the sacrifice for S-J’s video. Thank you @Kate Farms Shill!
 

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I love how the only people who ever compare things to the pain of childbirth are ones who have never been through childbirth.

Childbirth pains vary greatly. I've seen everything from complicated, painful cases that eventually go in for an emergency C-section to babies sliding out of that birth canal like it's been greased up with WD-40 and you just gotta catch 'em.

This can't compare to munchie pain which is like a 79/10 on a good day.
 
I agree that Jonzie she's been really "successful" in the same way Kelly Ronahan has. She's clearly done actual damage to her body by keeping it at a very low weight for her entire life, poisoning herself with household chemicals and laundry soap (she claimed pica but my assumption has always been she did it to cause organ damage/make herself sick enough to be hospitalized), taking unnecessary medications, and finally moving on to hard drugs. I'm pretty sure she was also purging (if she isn't still) and that will fuck your heart up. She might not have all the toys but she's got the legitimate health problems to get herself hospitalized for weeks on end.
 
IIRC she's Canadian, in Ontario I think? Not sure how the health system works there for things like wheelchairs.
Many Ontarians have private health insurance in addition to the provincial plan (OHIP), and many employers provide it as part of benefits, as OHIP doesn't cover things like prescriptions.

Ophelia has fucking bed sores, probably from sitting on her fat ass and not moving at all.

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If she's in 30/10 labour pain all the time, some bed sores should be barely noticeable.

Childbirth pains vary greatly. I've seen everything from complicated, painful cases that eventually go in for an emergency C-section to babies sliding out of that birth canal like it's been greased up with WD-40 and you just gotta catch 'em.

This can't compare to munchie pain which is like a 79/10 on a good day.

I literally had a patient sneeze out her (premature, low birth weight) baby in the hallway while they were prepping the room for her emergency C-section.
 
Not a munchie (she's under 18 and from what i can see, legitimately sick if not somewhat obsessed with her own illnesses), but this picture from an unnamed Instagram user sums up what's wrong with spoonie culture. It's the wrong shade of pink, guys.

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Looks like salmon. Alright just fucking paint it then? You know they make the shaky shaky cans and bubblegum pink paint comes out of them right. Why is the world so hard for munchies.
 
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