Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

I have already made plans for this movie, and that new 'trailer', if you even wanna call it that, has done nothing to change my mind. My best bud and I are gonna download it from somewhere, gather our D&D group together with a lot of popcorn, sodas, and sweets, dim the lights, and just laugh our asses off together. We'll only close off this awful fucking saga, but we won't be giving the Rat a single red cent while we do it.
 
I have already made plans for this movie, and that new 'trailer', if you even wanna call it that, has done nothing to change my mind. My best bud and I are gonna download it from somewhere, gather our D&D group together with a lot of popcorn, sodas, and sweets, dim the lights, and just laugh our asses off together. We'll only close off this awful fucking saga, but we won't be giving the Rat a single red cent while we do it.
If you're running a D&D game, maybe try to do something similar to what was it called, something like Project: Alice

Take the piss out of the ST by statting up all the Mary Sues, and pitting your players against them in order to establish peace. Plot is that some Imperial remnant portal fuckery (trying to access some higher plane of hyperspace for faster travel, to outmaneuver and hopefully defeat New Republic fleets in detail) tore a portal to a twisted alternate universe where nothing makes sense (the Disney canon). This alternate reality of fuckery is spilling over into the Galaxy and it's up to the party to stop it by assassinating beings that hold most of this alternate universe's energy, IE, Rey.

Now, here's the thing. Don't make this an easy "lol the bad guys have the shittiest stats" campaign. If you have a Star Wars roleplaying system, stat the enemy faithfully. So Rey would have max stats in everything and every skill and power, since she just... does. The party will need their wits, their skills, and a bit of luck to win.

Edit: The thing I mentioned at the start was called Target Alice, and you can find it here.
Edit 2: HERE is the full thing. It got trimmed.
 
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I can't get over how stupid that double-bladed lightsaber design is. I know lightsabers are retarded for combat in 8 billion ways if you think about it, but even ignoring that necessary suspension of disbelief, when would you ever want to fold the lightsaber leatherman-style so you have two separate parallel blades and a more awkward handle? Is this the barbecue lightsaber that comes with a built-in meat fork function? If the blades fused into, like, a laser broadsword or something I'd still think it was dumb but it wouldn't be distractingly dumb.

At least the crossguards on Kylo Ren's lightsaber look pretty cool, and the in-universe explanation of them being "energy vents" because he was too much of a dipshit to build his lightsaber properly is in keeping with his character.
 
Sometimes I love youtube comments.

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I can't get over how stupid that double-bladed lightsaber design is. I know lightsabers are exceptional for combat in 8 billion ways if you think about it, but even ignoring that necessary suspension of disbelief, when would you ever want to fold the lightsaber leatherman-style so you have two separate parallel blades and a more awkward handle? Is this the barbecue lightsaber that comes with a built-in meat fork function? If the blades fused into, like, a laser broadsword or something I'd still think it was dumb but it wouldn't be distractingly dumb.

At least the crossguards on Kylo Ren's lightsaber look pretty cool, and the in-universe explanation of them being "energy vents" because he was too much of a dipshit to build his lightsaber properly is in keeping with his character.

The crossguards is fucking retarded.
 
If you're running a D&D game, maybe try to do something similar to what was it called, something like Project: Alice

Take the piss out of the ST by statting up all the Mary Sues, and pitting your players against them in order to establish peace. Plot is that some Imperial remnant portal fuckery (trying to access some higher plane of hyperspace for faster travel, to outmaneuver and hopefully defeat New Republic fleets in detail) tore a portal to a twisted alternate universe where nothing makes sense (the Disney canon). This alternate reality of fuckery is spilling over into the Galaxy and it's up to the party to stop it by assassinating beings that hold most of this alternate universe's energy, IE, Rey.

Now, here's the thing. Don't make this an easy "lol the bad guys have the shittiest stats" campaign. If you have a Star Wars roleplaying system, stat the enemy faithfully. So Rey would have max stats in everything and every skill and power, since she just... does. The party will need their wits, their skills, and a bit of luck to win.

Edit: The thing I mentioned at the start was called Target Alice, and you can find it here.
Edit 2: HERE is the full thing. It got trimmed.

I'd be preaching to the choir, anyways, dude. There's not a single player in my group that likes this garbage. We've come up with better Star Wars ideas, and played them, than anything that's been in these miserable abortions of story telling.

Besides, that stuff doesn't sound fun in the slightest, and while it is Disney policy to make sure nothing is fun or interesting, I can't do that to my group. I know what's expected of me, and unlike Ruin Johnson, the only real way you should subvert expectations in a game is to try and exceed them. The last Star Wars game I ran ended up the party hijacking the Death Star prototype and nuking the ever living shit out of Coruscant just to kill the Emperor and replace him with themselves. Wasn't a bad way to end a campaign, considering they started out as a cheaper, more badly run Planet Express crew. Ain't no way Disney would ever let something nuts like that happen in its own shitty EU.
 
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Disney really messed this up. It is rather obvious they did not go into this trilogy with a real plan, otherwise they would not have hired Doofus to direct TLJ. At the very least, you could have expected bland but smooth, slickly presented entertainment. Instead they've churned out disjointed, nonsensical pablum which was obviously designed by consensus, via various different groups and workshops and focus groups that didn't really coordinate, and was overseen by people with the personalities and imaginations of Human Resources directors and petty, overly officious bureaucrats.
 
Almost assuredly given enough time. The Valkyrie director for example is going right to this right before production, so expect deep hurting.
It is inevitable, everything not far enough left or gasp not left-wing is infiltrated and utterly corrupted to a hollow sjw shell as has happened many times now
In case anyone's interested, MSW recently did a podcast that most likely confirmed the whole Kylo Ren/Spider Oracle leak I talked about a few weeks ago. But the worst part is that said leaks and rumors also confirmed that Kylo will indeed have a romantic attraction towards Rey.

And speaking of "Rey", her character at Galaxy's Edge was arrested and taken in by nu-Troopers. They proceeded to call Kylo Ren and he started talking about how cute she was, a reference to the upcoming romance in the film...

Zorry Bliss has also been confirmed to be an anti-hero or the Lando of this movie, as she will have a connection to Rey as her ship is the same as the one that dropped Rey off on Jakku as a child... Zorry Bliss has also had scenes shot that feature her and Luke together and there are new rumors going around that she's actually Rey's mother and is none other than Mara Jade Skywalker who dropped Rey off on Jakku for her own protection... This is ridiculous and insulting enough to be true.

Kylo Ren will rebel against the FO after Palpatine's pawns start taking over.

And Lando's appearance in the movie is pure coincidence in typical JJ fashion.


I feel ya man, but as much I appreciated it I honestly hope Disney doesn't bring back the old EU or even a "fixed" version of it. Disney will probably just fuck it up horribly or wokify it even more than they did their own shitty Disney EU. Hell Disney's shit makes even the Jedi Prince novels look charming by comparison. Best thing for SW right now is for it to get sold to people who actually care about it or put it to rest before it gets humiliated any further.
Are they trying to make me cry from the continuing rape of Star Wars? Because it's getting closer to either that or snapping (i still have from page 600 to read to catch up, fml)
 
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