Operation Chris Eater commences

[Ca Ira]

microbreweries, vineyards. . . ie, all the stuff Chris and Barb would never go to.

Craft beers aren't for everyone. I'm perfectly happy drinking Micolobe and Samual Adams.

I'm already in Charlottesville and checked into a shitty motel. Gonna go to the trial tomorrow but in the meantime, I think I'll go on a Chris' Places of interest tour. Might even eat at his favorite McDonalds.

From this day forward, people will look after you as you pass and say, "There goes a man who has zapped to the extreme." I hope you're not staying at the Days Inn, by the way.

 

[Sir Walter Raleigh]

Arrive at the courthouse early wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase. The moment you see Chris and Barb, introduce yourself as their public defender. You know; for the "lulz" as the kids say. Call yourself Atticus Matlock Wright. Then explain that the charges have been dropped and he's free to go and we can see the start of "Bail Enforcement Saga."

Actually, just don't do anything stupid or conspicuous. Maybe after the trial take a day trip to D.C. or go to Monticello and heckle the tour guide and the historic interpreters. Or whatever you want to make the trip to Charlottesville fun.

 

[draytonsawyer]

It's possible that nothing much will happen. This matter could be continued and drag on for months before it gets resolved.

 

[sparklemilhouse]

No.

That's cute.

I'm sad we won't hear about Chris's new 'do.

broken in to places

Wait. When did he break into a place? Other than that time he thought it was ok to get prizes out of the back room of game place.

 

[draytonsawyer]

Of course, Chris might exercise some of his legendary tact and get locked up for contempt of court.

 

[Shadow]

I'm so excited to hear the reports.

More riveting than the OJ trial.

 

[Dudeofteenage]

It's possible that nothing much will happen. This matter could be continued and drag on for months before it gets resolved.

Yeah, this is my feeling too. There is a slim chance that Chris will have some kind of outburst in the courtroom, but other than this is likely to be pretty boring. We won't see any serious drama for months.

 

[soIregistered]

If you eat at Chris' favorite McDonald's, you may have the McRuns and not be able to make the trial. I hope you were careful.

 

[blackie toy]

Naturally you can't expect pure legal skill out of a PD, but I wouldn't disregard their ability. They passed law school just as much as anyone else, just couldn't get, you know, an actual big boy lawyer job.

Never discount PDs. Most of them have far more courtroom experience per year than any private practice defense lawyer. Some of them will even have more acquittals. The big drawback is that they have a massive caseload, far more than any private practice defense lawyer would ever have.

Seriously. The fact that they didn't get into prosecution (which is where the people who do white collar defense come from) or somehow walk into a mob defense practice doesn't mean a damn thing after a few years of practice.

 

[Thomas the Tankchu]

Go forth, brave scout! Tell your people of the adventure you have overcome! Bring our boys back home and maybe you'll get that shiny Sonichu Medal of HONEST

 

[SpessCaptain]

The time is coming, brothers and sisters: soon judgement day will be over and the world will see judgement on Chris: soon, SOON. SOOON. .swf

 

[A Hotdog]

I'm so eggcited that I couldn't sleep. Gosh.

 

[Shadow]

The time is coming, brothers and sisters: soon judgement day will be over and the world will see judgement on Chris: soon, SOON. SOOON. .swf

Please go to jail Chris. ()

In all seriousness, the more Chris gets small slaps on the wrists and autism get out of jail free cards, the more it feeds into his ego that he's done nothing wrong at all.

 

[Phantasmagoric]

People over at 8chan and the like are saying he will get probation.

He already was on probation. He's going to either get the jail time in his felony class, or a fine, in my opinion.

 

[CWC Tok]

I'm so eggcited that I couldn't sleep. Gosh.

We're all like a bunch of children the night before some Hellish, autistic Christmas.

 

[Tenacious D]

Never discount PDs. Most of them have far more courtroom experience per year than any private practice defense lawyer. Some of them will even have more acquittals.

You have to remember that most criminal cases do not result in trial; last I saw, something like 90-95% of US criminal cases end in a plea bargain, so even a good PD rarely faces a real trial. In fact, given their monolithic workloads, there's a lot of pressure on PDs and prosecutors to solve cases as quickly as possible by avoiding a trial. Any PD who is determined to take cases to trial instead of pleading out is probably not going to be very popular with his colleagues who then have to pick up the slack.

Generally speaking and going purely by statistics, if you engage a private defence, you can expect someone who has handled fewer cases but has more actual trial experience. In Chris' situation, though, this is all academic. Even if he engaged Rob Bell again, the best Chris can hope for is a decent plea bargain.

 

[CWCissey]

Just over two hours to go right? Do you think Chris is up yet?

 

[A Hotdog]

Just over two hours to go right? Do you think Chris is up yet?

Probably getting his hair did!~

Offtopic: As a preparation for this, Who wants to watch the Animal Crossing Documentary with me on synctube?

 

[Shaky]

Probably getting his hair did!~

Offtopic: As a preparation for this, Who wants to watch the Animal Crossing Documentary with me on synctube?

Yeah alright.

 

[theobservdr]

Well it'll be hard to say what happens, Chris probably will have a tougher time getting off since he is a repeat offender. And the fact he might have a hard time getting a good lawyer due to the game place court case