Careercow Robert Stanek - Mediocre Author and Great Sockpuppeteer

GrandNumberOfPounds said:
OK, this ticked me off. Stanek claims he was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross. This clown is lucky that the Stolen Valor Act was struck down or he'd face prison time for pretending to be a war hero. What a joke.
Click to expand...
He did post proof. Not being familiar with peculiarities with US military, I can't vounch for how worthy it is.

Still, he can't really blame people from being more than a tad bit sceptical, what with his track record of always posting truthful information everywhere.
*squint* come to think of it, I really wonder if that form is shopped...

Phil Ken Sebben said:
Does anybody actually have a copy of this first book of his? I'm really curious to read it.
Click to expand...

I have Keeper Martin's Tale (which is "adult version" of Kingdom Elves Reach Whatever 1 & 2, and by "adult version" I mean it's two volumes in one and the chapter headings aren't in kiddie font.)

I've yet to properly start reading it, but the bits I've seen just ooze utter mediocrity. Not painful to read, but I just always get the feeling I should go read something a bit more worthwhile.

Phil Ken Sebben said:
Also, from what I've read on the subject, the names of the characters and places are stolen from different languages.
Click to expand...

The map in the book is hilarious. You can just look at it and bask in the awesome Slavonic glory of it all, and wonder "gee golly, I hope this is as good stuff as The Witcher." Well, not actually, only a few names look Slavonic actually. Russian, in fact. Hmmmm. Kingdoms of Sever, Vostok, Zapad, Yug. ...North, East, South, West. *facepalm* Krasnyj Road. It's a colour. Can you guess which? Pretty prominent in Soviet nomenclature, I say, so you may have heard it. Belyj Forest, likewise, white forest. City called Solntse (Sun), rivers Krepost' (strength), Veter (wind), and Mir (my absolute favourite Russian word meaning roughly peace, world, universe, and a fucking awesome space station that regrettably no longer exists), and a vaguely defined map feature that could be a mountain range or a road called Zashchita (guard, defense, shelter). Suffice to say, Sapkowski this guy ain't.
 
  • Informative
Reactions: Karen Riley and He Sets Me On Fire
TRUE and HONEST DFC recipients

Does anyone know when he claims he was awarded the DFC? I thought he was in around Desert Storm but there are no Staneks listed as having the DFC (the recipients are listed by date of action, so Stanek would be somewhere from page 13-17).

I have a lot of respect for veterans, so I'll give him credit for serving during wartime. However, he has no business claiming to have a citation he didn't earn.
 
c-no said:
stanekfun.jpg
Click to expand...
OH MY FUCKING GOD HE WAS THERE
Sorry, excuse me for my rage and sperg.
It's actually just that I've recognized where that was, specifically some Barnes and Nobles in New York.
Ahhhh, now I feel pain.
 
Robert Stanek is mentally ill. There's no other explanation for his behavior. You can dismiss Gloria's insanity as childish naiveté (although that excuse is getting harder to entertain.) With Robert, he's clearly a scam artist piece of shit. I hate his dumb ginger face, his smug, retarded smile, how he dares to even photoshop himself into a picture with the late, great Brian Jacques. His books suck. They're generic fantasy tripe.

Look, I think self-publishing is a good idea in theory. Cut out the big, scary, evil corporate middle man and all that. The problem is, I don't think Amazon or iUniverse anticipated the number of delusional people who believe themselves to be talented, even deserving of fame.
 
  • Feels
  • Mad at the Internet
Reactions: Karen Riley and autism420
I do like that it says his nearest living relative is Roberta Stanek...who is presumably him wearing a wig and speaking in a falsetto.
 
  • Feels
Reactions: Karen Riley
GrandNumberOfPounds said:
TRUE and HONEST DFC recipients

Does anyone know when he claims he was awarded the DFC? I thought he was in around Desert Storm but there are no Staneks listed as having the DFC (the recipients are listed by date of action, so Stanek would be somewhere from page 13-17).

I have a lot of respect for veterans, so I'll give him credit for serving during wartime. However, he has no business claiming to have a citation he didn't earn.
Click to expand...

Heres the DFC society with another gigantanormous list...with him very absent from it.

http://www.dfcsociety.net/?page_id=699

As for his "proof" that wwwolf linked to above, occam's razor points to it being far more likely (and keeping with his character given how many fake awards he plasters his shitty novels with) that this award is just another in a long, long line of lies he has spewed forth to feed his ego, since the only alternatives would be him having too much modesty to trumpet his award at any and every military site/association possible (inconcievable) or that there is some conspiracy stopping him from getting the recognition he deserves (possible only in his sad little mind)
 
  • Informative
Reactions: DavidFerrie
I completely agree with Judge Holden. Stanek has a reputation of being a liar and a manipulator, so I wouldn't put it past him to do something as low as claim an award for heroism that he never earned.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Karen Riley
DykesDykesChina said:
image002.jpg
Click to expand...

Why do people think that one solid color makes a perfect background? It looks so blank and disgusting; the least he could've done was add a second color or some sort of texture instead of dumping vomit yellow.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Karen Riley
random_pickle said:
DykesDykesChina said:
http://www.robertstanek.com/keepermarti ... age002.jpg
Click to expand...

Why do people think that one solid color makes a perfect background? It looks so blank and disgusting; the least he could've done was add a second color or some sort of texture instead of dumping vomit yellow.
Click to expand...

Piss yellow background with bloody diarrhea red text, man, and the cover is just stupid, a mirrored photo of a waterfall? really? come on, that's highschool middleschool stuff, also, the title is really generic, i won't be surprised if all his books were just cookie-cutter stories as well.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Karen Riley
FemboiBunny said:
random_pickle said:
DykesDykesChina said:
http://www.robertstanek.com/keepermarti ... age002.jpg
Click to expand...

Why do people think that one solid color makes a perfect background? It looks so blank and disgusting; the least he could've done was add a second color or some sort of texture instead of dumping vomit yellow.
Click to expand...

Piss yellow background with bloody diarrhea red text, man, and the cover is just stupid, a mirrored photo of a waterfall? really? come on, that's highschool middleschool stuff, also, the title is really generic, i won't be surprised if all his books were just cookie-cutter stories as well.
Click to expand...
From what I heard, he has two "age" versions of his fantasy books, one for kids and one for adults. Would that count as cookie-cutter?
 
I think Stanek's thought patterns when designing his book covers went as follows: "Hmm, I got these free nature photographs here... it might look cool when I mirror them, giving a bit of a psychedelic vibe... yeah, that's great. I'm done! Wait, I need to fill the rest of the cover with something. The title and my name PRINTED IN VERY BIG LETTERS because I'm the greatest fantasy author EVAR. And something to fill the background with... yellow, yeah, that looks cool. Now I'm a published literary genius!"
 
sarah.jpg

Um, is it wrong that this raises a grand number of Rule-34-related questions in my brain?

I mean, what do these things look like when they're fully grown? :julay:
And how does her bathing suit work? Where/how is the front part connected to the back part???
 
  • Feels
Reactions: Karen Riley
DykesDykesChina said:
http://www.bugvillecritters.com/images/sarah.jpg
Um, is it wrong that this raises a grand number of Rule-34-related questions in my brain?

I mean, what do these things look like when they're fully grown? :julay:
And how does her bathing suit work? Where/how is the front part connected to the back part???
Click to expand...

The hell is that horror?

Also:

Earthworm Tim
Click to expand...

Wow, he really does suck at originality doesn't he?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Karen Riley
DykesDykesChina said:
Anyone know why he's speaking in that Eastern-European accent? Is he from that region ("Stanek" sounds Eastern European) or is he just trying to give his voice an exotic timbre?
Click to expand...
As far as his biographies can be believed, he's an American who considers himself a Slav by the virtue that his father was Hungarian. Or something along those lines. And the accent? No idea.
 
  • Informative
Reactions: Karen Riley
Well "stánek" is at least a Czech word, as I understand it (but doesn't seem, according to the infallible Google translate, to be Hungarian), and all those Slavic languages share words so odds are yeah he's got Slavic ancestors at least.

As for that video, that is in no way an "Eastern European" accent, and it also says at the end "Voicing-Karl Fehr" so...
 
Butta Face Lopez said:
and it also says at the end "Voicing-Karl Fehr" so...
Click to expand...
Yeah, never actually heard the guy speaking before so I had no idea. People tend to complain that Stanek's audiobooks, which were read by him, sound as if the guy was drunk all the time. The trailer guy doesn't sound drunk - the script, however, was clearly written by someone in middle of a "oh shit I'm wasted and I promised to send the script by tomorrow and it's 2 AM" panic.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back