Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

So hey, about that poster...
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Can someone explain to me what the hell this thing is?
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And why am I getting “goofy hillbilly sidekick” vibes from it?
 
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SteelPlatedHeart said:
So hey, about that poster...
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That poster is just so bland and boring. Sure, it's probably because Rey Sue is the largest thing on that poster, and she's bland and boring, but there's just a lack of emotion into it. Everything feels so stale and old already. It's like the characters are asking "Why am I here? What do I do? What're the stakes anymore?"
 
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Dr W said:
I think the fundamental difference between Tolkien and Lucas, as compared to Wendig and Galaxy's Edge, is that the extra material is there, but you don't have to see it. Even the Prequels were somewhat subdued in comparison to the ST in how hard it shoved the lore in your face, to say nothing of the OT, which has only sparse references here and there in order to make it feel more like a world.

What's happened with the ST is that this background information isn't isolated from the main story. Instead of being handed a drink with a weird name at a theme park, you're told "THIS IS COCA COLA IT WAS FOUND BY X AT Y AND IS THE BEST Z IN THE GALAXY" and so on and so forth. The material is a nonstop deluge of background fluff with a few pieces of the 'present' thrown in by comparison. Yellow Yoda, for instance, is fucking everywhere at all times and knew Anakin and gave him some shit and is a supersoldier and etc. etc. etc. That would just be horribly Mary Sue if it weren't rubbed in everyone's face at all times. Instead of just being a massive Sue, she's also an insufferable one.
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Worse still, where LotR and the old SW used additional materials to flesh out the world, the ST comes with a list, long as my arm, of required reading, without which you're just SOOL when it comes to understanding the plot of the movies.
You need to read books or comics to figure out how ROTJ connects to TFA. You need to read books or comics to know who most important characters are and why they are important. You need to read books and comics, to figure out what the hell was going on in the goddamned movie you just watched.

SteelPlatedHeart said:
Can someone explain to me what the hell this thing is?
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It's some random walk-on alien that the main characters will bump into. It'll give them some infos for a McGuffin and then tag along with some fat, farting pilot modeld after Chuck Wendig (no, I am not kidding) on some irrelevant sideplot.
SteelPlatedHeart said:
And why am I getting “goofy hillbilly sidekick” vibes from it?
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Cause that's what that thing is.
Looks like they stole that creature from "Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy", doesn't it?
Dr W said:
That's Chuck Wendig.
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Fuck, that made me laugh out loud. Well done.
 
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RomanesEuntDomus said:
Worse still, where LotR and the old SW used additional materials to flesh out the world, the ST comes with a list, long as my arm, of required reading, without which you're just SOOL when it comes to understanding the plot of the movies.
You need to read books or comics to figure out how ROTJ connects to TFA. You need to read books or comics to know who most important characters are and why they are important. You need to read books and comics, to figure out what the hell was going on in the goddamned movie you just watched.


It's some random walk-on alien that the main characters will bump into. It'll give them some infos for a McGuffin and then tag along with some fat, farting pilot modeld after Chuck Wendig (no, I am not kidding) on some irrelevant sideplot.

Cause that's what that thing is.
Looks like they stole that creature from "Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy", doesn't it?

Fuck, that made me laugh out loud. Well done.
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$10 says the alien says some variation of “Make the universe great again” at some point.
 
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SteelPlatedHeart said:
$10 says the alien says some variation of “Make the universe great again” at some point.
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He's supposed to be a comic relief sidekick, so he's supposed to be sympathetic. I guess we can expect First Order Admiral Pryde to yell something along those lines, though. Or Palpatine's ghost.

I hope we get a cringey "Make the Empire great again" line.
Too bad it's already too late to shoehorn a Greta Thunberg reference into the movie. then again, we don't know what they are reshooting...
 
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RomanesEuntDomus said:
Worse still, where LotR and the old SW used additional materials to flesh out the world, the ST comes with a list, long as my arm, of required reading, without which you're just SOOL when it comes to understanding the plot of the movies.
You need to read books or comics to figure out how ROTJ connects to TFA. You need to read books or comics to know who most important characters are and why they are important. You need to read books and comics, to figure out what the hell was going on in the goddamned movie you just watched.
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Rogue One did this too a bit, with Saw Gerrera. Having not made it that deep into TCW, I was 'uh, who?'. But they at least did a moderate job of giving you a rough feel of who Forrest Wittaker was supposed to be.
 
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Manwithn0n0men said:
But they also want to tell a "Classic Story" but in a way that appeals to a "new generation"
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Almost everything I've seen that pulls this garbage fails on a narrative level. There's a reason why "classic stories" have followed tropes across language barriers for thousands of years of storytelling. It's like trying to re-invent the wheel with something triangular shaped, it just doesn't work as well.

Clownfish talk about scant details on Nintendoland due to GE being a failure.
They open with the information that GE has reversed one of their policy's and are now allowing droid testing to try and drive excitement for product. https://wdwnt.com/2019/09/photos-dr...-star-wars-galaxys-edge-at-hollywood-studios/
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wow, much excitement. We've talked about how we could improve the park before and I've had an idea, pocket racers. Combine droid building, customization ($$$), 80's nostalgia and gain an area with high guest interaction and cheap upkeep.
 
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Jub-Jub said:
Almost everything I've seen that pulls this garbage fails on a narrative level. There's a reason why "classic stories" have followed tropes across language barriers for thousands of years of storytelling. It's like trying to re-invent the wheel with something triangular shaped, it just doesn't work as well.

Clownfish talk about scant details on Nintendoland due to GE being a failure.
They open with the information that GE has reversed one of their policy's and are now allowing droid testing to try and drive excitement for product. https://wdwnt.com/2019/09/photos-dr...-star-wars-galaxys-edge-at-hollywood-studios/
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wow, much excitement. We've talked about how we could improve the park before and I've had an idea, pocket racers. Combine droid building, customization ($$$), 80's nostalgia and gain an area with high guest interaction and cheap upkeep.
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Aw shit you ninja'd me.

"We... We're sorry we didn't let you use droids and lightsabers in the park before! We still can't let you use lightsabers but now you can finally use the droids! B-But only on our 3 meter-long place mat... I-Isn't that exciting?! Yo-You can race them (but only within the mat) and you can move them... uh... around! PLEASE COME TO THE PARK!" - Bob Chapek

Geez what a fucking joke. And you still cant take advantage of their useless in-park features that have them respond to certain stores and non-existent actors. I wonder if the Florida park has run out of memory chips for their droids yet like the California one did?

Anyway on to where I left on the legit leak as proven by crazy frog along with some details revealed at Triple Force Friday/SW Celebration and other leaks which match up with the legit one.

1: Poe is revealed to have been a former smuggler alongside Zorry Bliss to make sure you understand that he's the Han Solo of these films. Zorry Bliss is human who looks like her actress (same with Phasma) by the way and has no connection to Rey (so much for that Mara Jade theory). Zorry is just a Boba Fett replacement who serves no importance other than adding another strong female to the group and filling the Boba niche now that Phasma is dead (at least I think she's dead...). There is another bounty hunter character who will finish what Zorry started.

2: Finn's sister Jannah is revealed to be from a "water-drenched moon" which may be Endor. Disney has destroyed Endor. Despite that Disney canon states that Endor was protected by the Rebels using some last minute shield generators and tractor beams somehow and that there are no human settlements on Endor.

3: The name of the true MacGuffins (aside from the sith dagger) are Wayfinders (which have been mentioned in many other leaks). They seem to be related to the Sith and there are two of them. One is owned by Kylo Ren which he obtained from Vader's corpse while the other one is Palpatine's which is on Endor. After 3PO's husk reads the dagger, the words he says TRIGGER something in Rey which makes her see visions of Endor and it makes her realize that Palpatine's McGuffin Finder is there. Now Rey and others race towards Endor to find the McGuffin.

4: Rey and the others arrive on Endor where they meet Finn's sister who initially thinks they're enemies before teaming up with them. She then accompanies them for the rest of the film. Rey then finds Palpatine's wayfinder within Death Star remains. When she touches it she sees a vision of herself as a Sith entering Palpatine's chambers and serving as his apprentice, which horrifies and pains her which is then sensed by Emo Ren, who somehow warps himself into the vision to disrupt it, thus saving Rey from the mental pain. This is due to their shitty Force Bond.

5: Rey and Kylo then confront each other physically as the vision ends. He starts talking about her parents again and says that he was telling the truth when he said they were nobodies who sold her for drinking money (yet never explains how he knows this), but reveals that they did sell her but it was for her safety... somehow... and they used the money on drinks to drown their sorrows... because... reasons... JJ... please stop.

6: Ren then shows Rey his full vision from TLJ which shows how her parents were killed via the very same sith dagger that Rey now holds. This infuriates Rey and they both begin fighting on the ruins of the Death Star on Endor. This is called a Force Flash or something. Apparently its a more powerful space-time breaking version of Luke's Force projection...

7: Mara Jade is confirmed to be alive in Disney canon via Galaxy's Edge... on the wall of a bathroom stall...
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For you plebs not well-versed in alien gobbledygook, it says "Mara Jade Lives" in Aurebesh.

That faggot Matt Martin who is basically the new canon keeper is confused about this and says that Mara Jade's confirmation was never officiated, at least to him... Could this be some GE employees taking their revenge against new canon? Could some tourist have done this himself just to fuck with Disneyfucks? Is this some stupid tease for Mara's appearance on the Mandalorian? If true, I'm horrified at what they might do to her considering that Luke already has a "superior lover" who is a POC in Marvel, but if not and its just an imagineer screwing with Martin and Disneyfags then it amuses me.

There's more to tell but I need a moment to deal with all this insanity.
 
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Uranus Pink said:
EVS also mentioned in one of his earlier videos he got a nice five figure check for character Atrocitus he co-created appearing in one of the DC fighting games iirc.
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Which is especially funny sense Atrocious’s role in the story was only marginally more important than grid’s
 
SteelPlatedHeart said:
And why am I getting “goofy hillbilly sidekick” vibes from it?
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Because that's exactly what it is. His name is Klaud as in "dur what a clod". The Star Wars website refers to him as a dear old best friend of Chewbacca's who we've never heard of until now who Chewbacca recruited into the Resistance since the Resistance needs all the help it can get, even if its a limbless fat sack of stupidity and hick stereotypes. However he doesn't interact with Chewy much. Klaud's real role is to serve as sidekick to Chuck Wendig Snap Wexley (who is Chuck Wendig's OC self-insert from his Aftermath books). Klaud and Snap will be serving as the film's primary source of comic relief during Resistance heavy scenes while Rey, Finn, Poe, 3PO, BB-8 and R2 are off somewhere else looking for the wayfinder macguffin.

Basically the SW-equivalent of these two.
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Behold the secret weapon of the Resistance... Klaud. Replacement for Rose Tico.
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I just love how R2 looks on from behind with an almost stunned aura as JJ marvels at his creation.
 
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