What is your craziest food story?

[skauk]

Like, have you ever tried making 20 chicken breasts for some ungodly reason?

Dump cheese accidentally on a cake?

Put something you thought was one thing, but was actually another thing on something that shouldn't have that?

What is your crazy food story?

 

[TFT-A9]

Craziest thing I ever did (that wasn't outright retarded) was deep frying a fucking turkey.

Not doing that ever again. Fucking terrifying even when I followed instructions. It didn't help that the fryer looked like it was going to fall apart in a stiff breeze.

 

[Spastic Colon]

Yes, I've made 20 chicken breasts (for a sorority supper club) -- no crazy problems with it.

I once had a birthday cake catch fire when it was in the oven -- like full flames. Had another birthday cake get half eaten by a dog who counter surfed (fortunately it was not chocolate).

I once put a ton of paprika on my oatmeal instead of cinnamon one morning. That was nasty.

Worst food I ever made was the first thing I tried to make from scratch after I got married. It was soup (how can you mess up soup?). It was so awful that it made me gag. I'm sure my husband was rethinking our marriage after that one. Fortunately, I got better at cooking.

 

[Karl der Grosse]

I once bought a chocolate chocolate chip Otis Spunkmeyer muffin from a ghetto convenience store. I opened it and bit into it only to discover that it was, in fact, a thin crust of muffin surrounding a liquid mold core.

 

[BoingBoingBoi]

actually just the other day our friends hosted a "cooking party". It's kind of a neat idea---you rent a venue with a ridiculous amount of cookware (all le creuset), and about 6 different workstations with stovetops and ovens, as well as cutlery, dining sets, and a very large table. you just bring your ingredients, cook a bunch of shit, and eat it. if you pay an extra $40 or whatever they clean up too, so you don't even have to do the dishes.

anyway, there were supposed to be 8 people, but instead there were 18. we show up a bit late and it's pure fucking madness. 18 chinks tripping over each other, spilling shit, trying to see however much oil and ungodly spice they can add to various pans full of whoever the fuck knows what---vegetables, noodles, spam, fish, literally anything. i wanted to cook something western, so i show up with tomato sauce i made earlier in the day to add to a pan full of cooked gnocchi and mozzarella to then be browned in the oven a bit. I then had to make double the amount of chicken piccata i planned to amidst a fucking chinkstorm of autism when i suddenly realized that everyone would be using chopsticks, so nobody would be cutting up pieces of chicken. this actually wasnt the worst thing though, since piccata flavorings (lemon, capers, parsley, white wine) actually do well in a "stir fry" style dish with smaller pieces of chicken that are chink-friendly.

overall everything worked out and tasted pretty good---at least my dishes.

without chinks, i think this kind of party could actually be pretty sweet.

 

[YourMommasBackstory]

Me and my friends were drunk and hungry, so we decided to make some dumplings(we had dough and grounded meat). But we were to lazy to make each one, so we made one bigass dumpling. We realised how exeptional we are when we started to boil it - after 10-15 minutes it was cooked outside, but inside was still raw.

 

[Inflatable Julay]

i ate a whole taco bell $5 box

i have done this multiple times

 

[Lioness]

I once put a ton of paprika on my oatmeal instead of cinnamon one morning. That was nasty.

The other day I accidentally put cayenne pepper on my peanut butter and honey toast instead of cinnamon. I feel you.

Other than that, several incidents of mistaking the salt for sugar when someone in the household decided to switch containers without informing anyone. The memory of super salty flapjacks still haunts me.

 

[TFT-A9]

The other day I accidentally put cayenne pepper on my peanut butter and honey toast instead of cinnamon. I feel you.

Other than that, several incidents of mistaking the salt for sugar when someone in the household decided to switch containers without informing anyone. The memory of super salty flapjacks still haunts me.

actually I can see peanut and cayenne working interestingly, just not on toast

 

[Prince Lotor]

My friend got this idea that he wanted to have a 'Weed Meal' so he got me and 4 other people to have a dinner party where we each brought a different dish that we had cooked an ounce of weed into. I infused it into some Extra Virgin Olive Oil and made a quick salad dressing for the first course, he made some buttery mashed potatoes, etc. and we were blasted out of our fucking minds for like 48 hours.

 

[TFT-A9]

My friend got this idea that he wanted to have a 'Weed Meal' so he got me and 4 other people to have a dinner party where we each brought a different dish that we had cooked an ounce of weed into. I infused it into some Extra Virgin Olive Oil and made a quick salad dressing for the first course, he made some buttery mashed potatoes, etc. and we were blasted out of our fucking minds for like 48 hours.

Weed EVOO? How did the infusion affect the flavor? How much THC do you get out of just infusing instead of doing like weed butter and heating it a bit to coax the THC out?

 

[Jason Wynn]

When I used to smoke weed, my friends and I would eat like we were pregnant women craving bizzare food combinations.

Caramel and marshmallows on a meat lover's pizza, yellow mustard on mint flavored ice cream, trying to inject cheese into jello...

 

[Prince Lotor]

Weed EVOO? How did the infusion affect the flavor? How much THC do you get out of just infusing instead of doing like weed butter and heating it a bit to coax the THC out?

You can get almost all of it if you know what you're doing, Extra Virgin Olive Oil is actually one of the better oils to use due to the lack of impurities is my guess https://ardentcannabis.com/blog/how-to-infuse-cannabis/
If you don't have fancy equipment a double boiler is your best friend. I ground it up and put it in the top of a double boiler with the amount of oil to salad dressing for 5 people for about 90 minutes, adding water from a kettle as necessary and stirring occasionally, then poured through a mesh screen and once cooled funneled into a bottle to take to the party.
You want to heat it for a decent amount of time so that the THCA activates and converts to THC https://ardentcannabis.com/blog/decarboxylation-myths/
When I make weed butter I put it in simmering water for like an hour, then I throw the butter into the water and boil for 10 minutes, pour everything in the pot through a mesh screen into a container to put in the freezer, after a bit all the butter will solidify on top of the water for easy removal.

When I used to smoke weed, my friends and I would eat like we were pregnant women craving bizzare food combinations.

Caramel and marshmallows on a meat lover's pizza, yellow mustard on mint flavored ice cream, trying to inject cheese into jello...

I actually never got hungry i.e. "The Munchies' from weed and my friends and I would specifically not eat for a few hours after smoking because our experience was that eating made us feel less high, it certainly made food taste better when we finally did eat but it never specifically made me hungrier than usual. I've definitely had the munchies when drunk though, never combined anything but definitely ate some odd things in succession.

 

[Dysnomia]

We were poor. One Christmas we had nothing but a few canned goods and bottles of juice. Me and my brother had to share a can of sloppy joe sauce. Just the sauce. I remember watching Creep Show while eating sloppy joe sauce on a plate.

I ate food I found on the ground because I was so hungry. A schoolyard had all these soft pretzels just thrown everywhere. I guess the kids didn't want them. They were absolutely fine.

 

[Black Waltz]

I made a cake because I got pissed off at a game once.. I know, not that crazy.

 

[TFT-A9]

I made a cake because I got pissed off at a game once.. I know, not that crazy.

Portal?

 

[Black Waltz]

Portal?

I think it was binding of isaac

 

[A Pare A Teeth]

Training as a chef, left in charge of a private lunch meeting.

Found and served smoked eel, and was confused by the plates coming back with chewed up, spit out food.

Smoked eel ≠ smoked salmon.

Who knew raw eel was so disgusting, and should be cooked before serving.

 

[ricecake]

Russia, middle of the night, middle of nowhere, 75% of our crew just obliterated on vodka (myself included). We hear a boat pull up right beside our camp. This badass (sober) Russian chick grabs a gun and heads over. Comes back 5 minutes later with two rough looking dudes in tow, "our friends" now apparently. "Our friends bring a tasty treat!"

Fucking crab poachers. In exchange for cigarettes and vodka, they gave us seemingly endless crab legs. HUGE, massive crab legs. We were out in the bush without butter so we just boiled them in salted water. Keep in mind we had been in the wild for a month at this point with no meat except canned beef parts put in soup and fish a couple of times. We went crazy eating that crab. I was so drunk and full of crab. I ate til I got sick, vomited and came back and did it again. We were drunk and giddy and eating like starving animals.

The next morning, someone had cleaned up all traces of the hedonistic bacchanal the night before. It was like a wild fever dream.

 

[Floop]

When I was a kid I made brownies, but I confused teaspoons for tablespoons and put in too much oil. Brownies are interesting when they’re really fucking soft at the bottom with bits of egg shell inside them.