Nope. Try again.
Slander only applies to the spoken word.
"Defamation" is a catch-all term for any statement that hurts someone's reputation. It's extremely loose with its application. For example, it mainly applies for instances where a person writes something nasty about someone in a campaign commercial.
The law of defamation varies from state to state, but there are some generally accepted rules. The statement must be:
- published
- false
- injurious
- unprivileged
A defamatory statement must be false -- otherwise it's not considered damaging. Even terribly mean or disparaging things are not defamatory if the shoe fits. Most opinions don't count as defamation because they can't be proved to be objectively false. For instance, when a reviewer says, "That was the worst book I've read all year," she's not defaming the author, because the statement can't be proven to be false. In this particular instance, saying Holden is a horrible person who believes women are worse than dogs isn't even false. Because you've admitted women are worse than dogs. Saying "Holden wants to sleep with his mother" is also not false, because you asked her three times for sex... and by the 'standard person test', if a person asks for something three times, odds are they want whatever they're asking for. I will admit, the statement "holden's on meth" is probably not true, but it's not defamatory because this site is in no way 'injurious'. Which leads me to:
The statement must be "injurious." Since the whole point of defamation law is to take care of injuries to reputation, those suing for defamation must show how their reputations were hurt by the false statement -- for example, the person lost work; was shunned by neighbors, friends, or family members; or was harassed by the press.
Someone who already had a terrible reputation most likely won't collect much in a defamation suit. You were known in reddit circles and other forum circles WELL before you were known here. You already had a terrible reputation before you came here. And as you've said, anyone who read what we've written wouldn't know it was you anyway. We have facts wrong, we have your name wrong, and apparently we have a lot of shit just wrong. So, no harm, no foul.
Better go get some ice for those burns.