Jasper Carewatch - ASPCAck-Ack-Ack

[millais]

Holy fuck if he is legit paranoid about the cat being doxed that's hilarious. Is he scared about his houseplants being doxed as well?

He probably bought Khat a $75 prize orchid as one of her birthday gifts, and he doesn't want anybody to see it because he was too lazy to take off the tag after bringing it home from the plant nursery.

 

[bearsintrees]

TBH, he's probably hiding where he got it from because the adoption fee could be a few hundred dollars or more. Would further harm his "I'M SO POOR DOOD" narrative.

I hope if he did adopt the cat, that he paid an appropriately high fee to a humane shelter who 100% needs the money.

But he's also doing the thing he does by saying Jasper was unwanted and damaged where he downplays the cost of a new possession like when he'll buy something unnecessary but say "It was cheap!"

The Jasper origin story just doesn't pass the smell test to me. It's the rare "I hope DSP did a selfless good thing" event that I just can't believe til I see the never-happening proof.

 

[Muppetmode]

I hope if he did adopt the cat, that he paid an appropriately high fee to a humane shelter who 100% needs the money.

But he's also doing the thing he does by saying Jasper was unwanted and damaged where he downplays the cost of a new possession like when he'll buy something unnecessary but say "It was cheap!"

The Jasper origin story just doesn't pass the smell test to me. It's the rare "I hope DSP did a selfless good thing" event that I just can't believe til I see the never-happening proof.

Couldve been a situation where he was the first person to see the cat so he got dibs, I’m not sure how pet adoptions work.

 

[Sparkletor]

My personal theory is that, "Jasper was unwanted because he was declawed" is completely false.

Jasper is allegedly running around tearing things up and tries to bite your face off while you sleep. People didn't want Jasper because he is a hellcat and nobody wants that. Maybe Jasper is possessed by a demon and that's why Kat felt an emotional bond. Is that why he wears a bell indoors? So they can hear when he is sneaking up on them to murder Phil?

 

[Adamska]

My personal theory is that, "Jasper was unwanted because he was declawed" is completely false.

Jasper is allegedly running around tearing things up and tries to bite your face off while you sleep. People didn't want Jasper because he is a hellcat and nobody wants that. Maybe Jasper is possessed by a demon and that's why Kat felt an emotional bond. Is that why he wears a bell indoors? So they can hear when he is sneaking up on them to murder Phil?

Jasper's issues most likely stem from how he had trouble keeping a home and being bounced around a lot. Add that with little attention or affection from the scared shitless Pig, and you have a cat that's like "You will give me attention. Bad OR Good." who then gnaws on the cables.

 

[MisterTalentMan]

Dave didn't declaw the cat. When he spoke about it first time he didn't use his normal phrases but basically he repeated what Khet told him about declawing and how inhumane it is. It's pretty apparent because he described the procedure and how it harms the animal. The later he probably heard from people at the shelter.
I don't think Jasper had been in Phil's house more than a few days when he started to promote his "positive reveal". The first Jasper appearance is the only time he showed any interest in the couch and its surrounding. He was new to the room. That's why only recently we found out that he likes to chew wires. He never was in the room before that so DSP couldn't know this quirk.
Dave doesn't interact with the cat. You can see it in the way he pets it. He doesn't know how to do.

 

[Raven'sChild]

I don't think Jasper had been in Phil's house more than a few days when he started to promote his "positive reveal". The first Jasper appearance is the only time he showed any interest in the couch and its surrounding. He was new to the room. That's why only recently we found out that he likes to chew wires. He never was in the room before that so DSP couldn't know this quirk.
Dave doesn't interact with the cat. You can see it in the way he pets it. He doesn't know how to do.

I have said this from the start. He's not had that cat for any length of time, much less close to a year. Anyone who has ever owned a cat or been in a house where one lives would know that it would be next to impossible to have kept that cat from darting inside the office the second he opened the door to go on any of his many breaks. Not once did the cat sit outside the door and Meow? Did he lock it up in the downstairs bathroom during every 2nd stream when Mrs. D$P wasn't there? Not once did he show up on stream with any scratches on his arms...though this is an easy one as he is visibly afraid of the beast so him playing with the cat in any way other than via a distance toy like the string toy he uses on stream ( Pro Tip: IF you don't want your cat to think wires and cords are toys...DON'T buy toys that look like strings, cords or wires. Would think this a no brainer, but...). Lastly his 'child with a shiny New Toy' demeanor during the first few streams: Oh look! Look! he's on the loveseat! That's so silly! Oh! Look! He got on the table/ stepped on the laptop/knocked the wireless keyboard off the arm of the Loveseat! He doesn't sperg out like he used to and that is telling in and of itself. A month in and the shine has already come off the rose.

 

[Sparkletor]

I'm really interested in how people say it's common for shelters to import cats from hundreds of miles away.

How does a person go about getting a job driving a van of cats across the country?

When I go to the animal shelter there is usually one old lady and a bunch of teenage volunteers. Sometimes one dude in his early 30's.

I don't live in the Pacific Northwest, but the other areas I've been in don't seem to be in desperate need of cats. In rural areas they don't even name the cats because there are so many. In urban areas after midnight cats are running around every other street.

Now I don't want to accuse anyone of being a liar,(except Phil) but I'm skeptical of a Nebraskan animal shelter paying someone to drive to Washington to give them a common tabby. One of those bald Egyptian cats maybe. A Persian or Siamese, okay. But a barn cat? I just don't buy it.

From what I've read, unadopted animals go two places. 1: the gas chamber and 2: the furnace. Hitler didn't invent this method. Animal shelters aren't making money. Then last cat I got was like $50. If they have 30 cats and 20 dogs, that's like what? A day's worth of food? And these guys have been there for weeks and getting vaccinations and veterinary check ups.

I am able to believe a family from Nebraska moved to Washington and then was unable to care for Jasper. Then they left him at the shelter. I do not believe someone drove over 1,500 miles to bring a barn cat to Washington.

 

[Muppetmode]

Maybe if it’s overcrowded they might shuffle some somewhere else, but I’d assume it be to a closer shelter. The family moving and giving up their pet does sound plausible and probably is what he meant by jasper coming from Nebraska. I’m assuming he wants jasper to sound more special than he is

 

[Sparkletor]

Renton to Nebraska is a 22 hour drive.

Are you telling me that an animal shelter paid someone to drive 44 hours round trip to drop off a barn cat?

 

[Muppetmode]

If anything it’s probably more likely that the cat came from another shelter in Seattle area than Nebraska. But I think your theory of it coming from a family from Nebraska sounds more likely than someone driving just to drop off the cat

 

[Sparkletor]

If anything it’s probably more likely that the cat came from another shelter in Seattle area than Nebraska. But I think your theory of it coming from a family from Nebraska sounds more likely than someone driving just to drop off the cat

Seriously, have you ever heard anyone ever say, "my job is to drive a truck of cats a thousand miles"?

Sure, "I catch cats and bring 'em to the pound" is a thing. But from Nebraska to Washington? Doesn't Kansas need cats?Missouri? Oklahoma? Colorado? No, this short haired tabby is so special we need to drive him to Washington to hope someone adopts him.

I thought Jasper sat there for weeks because nobody wanted a declawed cat. Are you telling me that an an animal shelter would pay to ship an unacceptable cat 1,500 miles?

If they used the most fuel.efficient van they would get 32 miles.per gallon. At current Nebraska cheapest price of $2 per gallon that would be $92. Nebraska minimum wage is $9. At 44 hours that would be $396. That would total $488 for just the delivery. At $50 a cat, at pure profit, that's 10 cats.

So if a van had 10 cats they would make $12.

This makes no sense.

Animal shelters from one city may ship excess animals to a neighboring city. An animal shelter in Nebraska wouldn't ship a Jasper to Washington.

 

[break these cuffs]

Seriously, have you ever heard anyone ever say, "my job is to drive a truck of cats a thousand miles"?

Yes, sort of. My local shelter has gone down to Florida to pick up a few dozen dogs rescued from Puerto Rico. I live in fucking Maine. My mother was involved in a greyhound rescue organization and drove 1,000 miles to the breeders/tracks in Florida once every 2 months or so to pick up animals. The Connecticut drive was closer. It's volunteers who do it, in their own vehicles often times, who sometimes get reimbursed mileage/gas.

Does it make a whole lot of sense? No, but these places have a way of doing things and it's been like that for decades. I think they'd be served spending that gas money paying someone to create and coordinate regional rescue and shelter networks so they could more economically and effectively move animals.

Now did Dave's story actually happen? Who the fuck knows. He lies about shit seemingly at random, but a shelter in WA could absolutely get animals from NE.

 

[Schmeckel]

On mobile, so I'm far too lazy to go through the quoting rigamarole. Forgive me.

@Sparkletor is right on the button with the doubting the details of the Ja$per transfer. The way that Phil spun it is as thus: Ja$per was a cat in some Midwestern state, Phil and Khet were looking for the perfect pet for their family, Let's not forget that Ja$per was already declawed, and then Ja$per just HAPPENED to be transferred from this Midwestern state to Seattle, and Phil and Khet snapped him up. There's a bajillion red flags here, which should come as no surprise in the realm of dsp.

1. Most no-kill shelters will take in any critter, regardless of circumstance. Local shelters here have a bevy of animals from cats and dogs to chickens and hedgies. Unless there's some particular market for a specific breed/type of animal, most shelters will send feelers out to the local area. They're not going to send some "send all" email to affiliated shelters to ask for specifically declawed cats.... To have transported across the country... And then adopted.

2. No-kill shelters DO work together to put animals in their forever homes. But, they don't just ship critters from site to site, let alone state to state, just to avoid killing critters. If some good Samaritan offers to take in some unfortunate soul at their own expense (Khet's expense by proxy of Phil), then said shelter would absolutely facilitate a transfer. The issue here is just how or why some shelter would randomly relocate an animal to somewhere else without their previous records.

Tl;Dr - Could Dave's story be true? Sure. Is it likely? No fucking way. Anyone with 2 brain cells to rub together can see through his shit. Those without? Well, they ultimately get threads here in this sub forum.

 

[Sparkletor]

Yes, sort of. My local shelter has gone down to Florida to pick up a few dozen dogs rescued from Puerto Rico. I live in fucking Maine. My mother was involved in a greyhound rescue organization and drove 1,000 miles to the breeders/tracks in Florida once every 2 months or so to pick up animals. The Connecticut drive was closer. It's volunteers who do it, in their own vehicles often times, who sometimes get reimbursed mileage/gas.

Does it make a whole lot of sense? No, but these places have a way of doing things and it's been like that for decades. I think they'd be served spending that gas money paying someone to create and coordinate regional rescue and shelter networks so they could more economically and effectively move animals.

Now did Dave's story actually happen? Who the fuck knows. He lies about shit seemingly at random, but a shelter in WA could absolutely get animals from NE.

Fair enough, but is a purebred greyhound more valuable than a barn cat?

Do you know people who take stray cats from Florida to Maine?

Like I said, in the previous post, a valuable animal would make sense. A purebred, a Persian, a bald Egyptian, a show cat.

A greyhound costs between $500 and $1000 to raise from a puppy to adult. Compare that to a barn cat. Jasper is a mutt. A greyhound is a purebred.

Now I recognize your analogy, but it is not what I am looking for. Rescuing greyhounds is not the same as rescuing cats.

A greyhound, a Dalmatian, a Pomeranian, a Corgi, etc. They are all beautiful and magnificent animals. A barn cat is about as rare as a rabbit.

Now I agree that people rescue animals. I find it hard to believe that shelters are transporting tabby cats 1,500 miles.

I don't doubt people pick up greyhounds and bring them to Maine. You could sell a greyhound for a lot of money. I do doubt people take cats from Nebraska to Washington. A random cat costs almost no money. It just doesn't make logistic sense.

I don't want to be a jackass, but maybe people are going to Florida for greyhounds because there are more greyhounds in Florida. Do you have a lot of dog racing in Maine? I assume people get old race dogs from Florida because Florida has more greyhounds than other places. Cats are everywhere. You don't need to import cats.

Can I believe Jasper was born or lived in Nebraska? Yes. Do I believe an animal shelter would drive him 1,500 miles to find a home? No.

I highly doubt Renton is in so need of basic bitch cats that they are outsourcing to Nebraska. I do believe that an organization that rescues greyhounds would go to any length to rescue greyhounds. However, rescuing animals used and abused for human gambling are not the same as cats.

The entire reason Phil even mentioned Jasper was from Nebraska is because Phil is Phil. Did Phil eat an apple? No, it was a Granny Smith organic apple imported from Peru. Did Phil have a sandwich? No, it was a homemade honey glazed ham sandwich with artisan whole grain bread. Did Phil get a cat? No, it was an imported declawed short haired tabby from Nebraska.

 

[break these cuffs]

Fair enough, but is a purebred greyhound more valuable than a barn cat?

Do you know people who take stray cats from Florida to Maine?

Like I said, in the previous post, a valuable animal would make sense. A purebred, a Persian, a bald Egyptian, a show cat.

A greyhound costs between $500 and $1000 to raise from a puppy to adult. Compare that to a barn cat. Jasper is a mutt. A greyhound is a purebred.

Now I recognize your analogy, but it is not what I am looking for. Rescuing greyhounds is not the same as rescuing cats.

A greyhound, a Dalmatian, a Pomeranian, a Corgi, etc. They are all beautiful and magnificent animals. A barn cat is about as rare as a rabbit.

Now I agree that people rescue animals. I find it hard to believe that shelters are transporting tabby cats 1,500 miles.

I don't doubt people pick up greyhounds and bring them to Maine. You could sell a greyhound for a lot of money. I do doubt people take cats from Nebraska to Washington. A random cat costs almost no money. It just doesn't make logistic sense.

I don't want to be a jackass, but maybe people are going to Florida for greyhounds because there are more greyhounds in Florida. Do you have a lot of dog racing in Maine? I assume people get old race dogs from Florida because Florida has more greyhounds than other places. Cats are everywhere. You don't need to import cats.

Can I believe Jasper was born or lived in Nebraska? Yes. Do I believe an animal shelter would drive him 1,500 miles to find a home? No.

I highly doubt Renton is in so need of basic bitch cats that they are outsourcing to Nebraska. I do believe that an organization that rescues greyhounds would go to any length to rescue greyhounds. However, rescuing animals used and abused for human gambling are not the same as cats.

The entire reason Phil even mentioned Jasper was from Nebraska is because Phil is Phil. Did Phil eat an apple? No, it was a Granny Smith organic apple imported from Peru. Did Phil have a sandwich? No, it was a homemade honey glazed ham sandwich with artisan whole grain bread. Did Phil get a cat? No, it was an imported declawed short haired tabby from Nebraska.

These are rescue organizations. The kind of rescues that you adopt from for $200 to cover the spay/neuter and deworming. These are VOLUNBTEERS who are just below PETA freaks in terms of what they would do for animals. Did you miss the part where they do the same shit for stray dogs taken off the street in Puerto Rico? They don't do it for single animals, they do it in batches. They have exchanges between shelters. I'm done explaining this. I have first and second hand experience of people driving for days and paying out of their own pocket to rescue animals and every time I come into this thread to explain it, people say it doesn't happen.

Maybe this will give one of you retards ammo for a troll donation to Phil.

 

[Wurstbrot]

I have first and second hand experience of people driving for days and paying out of their own pocket to rescue animals and every time I come into this thread to explain it, people say it doesn't happen

We've learned from the best *snort*.
Well, maybe not the best, but loudest.
Well, loudest when everyone else is silenced.
Well, and even then he is the most dense.
Well, dense but paper thin skin.
So, we've learned from an insecure manchild.

Uh, no, never happened. Debunked.

 

[millais]

I wonder if he will get it in his head to make J2k wear a costume for the Halloween stream as well. I'm sure there are all kinds of overpriced novelty wearable decorations for pets.

 

[Sparkletor]

I wonder if he will get it in his head to make J2k wear a costume for the Halloween stream as well. I'm sure there are all kinds of overpriced novelty wearable decorations for pets.

Phil already said no, so there is a 50% chance it could happen.

 

[Schmeckel]

I wonder if he will get it in his head to make J2k wear a costume for the Halloween stream as well. I'm sure there are all kinds of overpriced novelty wearable decorations for pets.

Didn't he post an instafacesnap picture of himself in a Target wearing one of those stupid big-head cat masks? I think the likelihood of this happening is closer to 75% than anything else.