حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 125 13.1%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.7%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 528 55.3%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 228 23.9%

  • Total voters
    954
What is IntensitySquared and why are you WP's archenemy?

Another autism site. The difference is that WP is an autism support site, whereas IntensitySquared is a forum that just happens to be populated by autistics.
It's WP's "archenemy" because a lot of members there were banned from WP, so they hate it, and a few WP members have the idea that IntensitySquared is a bad, evil place.
 
Connor people keep asking you what woman mistreated you and how and you keep refusing to answer. You're making it seem like no woman actually did anything to you and that you're just bitter because no gf.
The same way he claimed his friend stabbed him in the back, then admitted they never did and he made it up?
 
Connor once ate a licorice jellybean and didn't like it. Now Connor believes all members employed at Jelly-Belly are actively trying to poison him.

Connor once tried to tie his shoe and couldn't get the laces to tie evenly. Now Connor believes all shoelace manufacturers are committed to making him trip down the stairs.

Connor once had a ketchup bottle make a flatulent sound when he squeezed it. Connor now believes that all ketchup products are intentionally trying to infect him with a gastrointestinal disorder.

Connor once saw a girl maybe lift her eyebrow a little bit when she looked at him. Connor now believes that all women are gold-digging degenerates who are utterly repulsed by him.

Connor once had his hair cut by a barber who told a dirty joke. Connor now believes all barbers are sexual predators and opts to let his mother trim his hair with a soup bowl.

#ConnorLogic
 
Happy EVA-Day, Kiwis! I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have~
evaday.PNG
 
Connor once ate a licorice jellybean and didn't like it. Now Connor believes all members employed at Jelly-Belly are actively trying to poison him.

Connor once tried to tie his shoe and couldn't get the laces to tie evenly. Now Connor believes all shoelace manufacturers are committed to making him trip down the stairs.

Connor once had a ketchup bottle make a flatulent sound when he squeezed it. Connor now believes that all ketchup products are intentionally trying to infect him with a gastrointestinal disorder.

Connor once saw a girl maybe lift her eyebrow a little bit when she looked at him. Connor now believes that all women are gold-digging degenerates who are utterly repulsed by him.

Connor once had his hair cut by a barber who told a dirty joke. Connor now believes all barbers are sexual predators and opts to let his mother trim his hair with a soup bowl.

#ConnorLogic
This pretty much sums up Connor. Connor makes Chris look sane and rational by comparison.
 
Connor once ate a licorice jellybean and didn't like it. Now Connor believes all members employed at Jelly-Belly are actively trying to poison him.

Connor once tried to tie his shoe and couldn't get the laces to tie evenly. Now Connor believes all shoelace manufacturers are committed to making him trip down the stairs.

Connor once had a ketchup bottle make a flatulent sound when he squeezed it. Connor now believes that all ketchup products are intentionally trying to infect him with a gastrointestinal disorder.

Connor once saw a girl maybe lift her eyebrow a little bit when she looked at him. Connor now believes that all women are gold-digging degenerates who are utterly repulsed by him.

Connor once had his hair cut by a barber who told a dirty joke. Connor now believes all barbers are sexual predators and opts to let his mother trim his hair with a soup bowl.

#ConnorLogic
I keep missing him. I guess this means I should throw away my computer, get addicted to heroin, and sit in the park giving advice to pigeons all day because clearly I'm never getting another chance with Connor.
 
This pretty much sums up Connor. Connor makes Chris look sane and rational by comparison.

I'm not certain I could go that far with it, but what I do know is that Christian has produced more comics than Connor has written, Christian has, in some facet or another, eventually responded to criticism, and Christian is actively turning a marginal profit off of his creation. C̶h̶r̶i̶s̶t̶i̶a̶n̶ Christine Weston Chandler is more productive than you, @Connor. For the love of all that is sacred how can that not spur you into action?
 
I'm not certain I could go that far with it, but what I do know is that Christian has produced more comics than Connor has written, Christian has, in some facet or another, eventually responded to criticism, and Christian is actively turning a marginal profit off of his creation. Christian Weston Chandler is more productive than you, @Connor. For the love of all that is sacred how can that not spur you into action?
You're right, maybe it's not that bad. I should have been clearer since I was referring to Connor's paranoia and outlandish conspiracy theories or whatever the fuck it is he believes. At least Chris has an understandable reason for being ridiculously paranoid since he was trolled excessively for years. Connor seems like the kind of delusional moron who is acting like this because he is an edgelord that sits on his ass and watches movies all day, and I get the feeling he thinks he's a character in a movie or something extremely retarded.
 
You're right, maybe it's not that bad. I should have been clearer since I was referring to Connor's paranoia and outlandish conspiracy theories or whatever the fuck it is he believes. At least Chris has an understandable reason for being ridiculously paranoid since he was trolled excessively for years. Connor seems like the kind of delusional moron who is acting like this because he is an edgelord that sits on his ass and watches movies all day, and I get the feeling he thinks he's a character in a movie or something extremely retarded.

That and Christian's antics are entertaining as opposed to being hair-rippingly-frustrating. More than any other forum topic I've frequented here, Connor has been extended hand upon hand offering to help him out in absolutely any facet of his life, and he's done nothing but turn a toxic gaze back to the one offering aid. I had high hopes for him when I'd first begun this thread, but the deeper I went the more dismal his situation seemed to become.

He's never suffered hardship, he's never endured pain, he's never experienced loss, and yet he is wholly and completely convinced that his is a world that is the very definition of suffering, and he seems entirely content to continue down this path that leads to nothing but wizardry. Between the rage and frustration, I do pity Connor, because it is a misery entirely of his own construct. He has every tool at his disposal to lift himself from the mire, and chooses, actively, to wallow within it.

To be so wholly apathetic and terrified of change that you can't so much as reach for the rope cast to lift you from the marshes must be an utterly miserable way to live. We've all tried to help him, we've all tried to change him, and yet he furrows his brow, spits his vitriol, and sinks a little bit deeper every day.

Edit: And no, @Connor, that is not 'edgy' nor 'mysterious', nor is it 'brooding'. It is imbecilic and we wish to Hell that you'd listen to us.
 
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That and Christian's antics are entertaining as opposed to being hair-rippingly-frustrating. More than any other forum topic I've frequented here, Connor has been extended hand upon hand offering to help him out in absolutely any facet of his life, and he's done nothing but turn a toxic gaze back to the one offering aid. I had high hopes for him, when I'd first begun this thread, but the deeper I went the more dismal his situation seemed to become.

He's never suffered hardship, he's never endured pain, he's never experienced loss, and yet he is wholly and completely convinced that his is a world that is the very definition of suffering, and he seems entirely content to continue down this path that leads to nothing but wizardry. Between the rage and frustration, I do pity Connor, because it is a misery entirely of his own construct. He has every tool at his disposal to lift himself from the mire, and chooses, actively, to wallow within it.
I pity him, too. Now that you put it that way, I'm convinced that Connor is mentally stunted and could not outgrow the angsty and whiny mindset that people experience as a phase when they are teenagers. Connor is almost 21 and the crap that he says sounds like something a whiny 14 year old emo douche would say while trying to be edgy. Connor can't change and that's what makes a lolcow. We all go through idiotic phases at some point in our lives, but lolcows are the ones who can't move on from those phases and grow up.
 
I missed Connor...

@Connor, since you won't tell us about the time a girl treated you like shit, there's Something That I Want to know from you:

Why do you hate Disney songs? It's A Whole New World out there when you Be A Man and embrace them. As Long As There's A Moon, you'll feel on Top Of The World when you Listen With Your Heart and sing. No one wants to become Part of Your World and who knows, maybe if you Make It Right and accept the greatness of all Disney songs you'll get to Kiss The Girl.
 
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