Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[skellig58]

And the hamburgers have juicy fertile wombs....

edit because my stomach turned while writing this.
I accept all horrific ratings as my due.

 

[AbraCadaver]

And the hamburgers have juicy fertile wombs....

edit because my stomach turned while writing this.

Wimpy understood that he had to at least convincingly pretend to offer something of equal value in return in order to get a hamburger.

Werner records himself screaming that all hamburgers ignore him, that he shouldn’t have to pay for one, that he offered 1/4th the going price in payment and that should be more than fair, that the hamburgers should be grateful he wants to eat them at all, that he demands a giant hamburger with all the trimmings be delivered to his house right fucking now or else he will have no choice but to continue to not be able to afford hamburgers.

Then he lays down in his damp twin-sized stained mattress and hallucinates hamburgers screaming for pickles outside of his window.

 

[FatherPucci]

If you arn't in it Lucas is livestreaming and getting obliterated by everyone right now, worth checking out

EDIT: Unfortunately the best content was after it ended and the chat was still going. He kept asking people to tell him why they loved him and went silent after everyone told him how they felt. Shame that part got erased.

Tell Me Why You Love Me

www.youtube.com

 

[skellig58]

That was utterly disturbing. The way he'd try to get all (hahaha) sexy for the camera. So fucking greasy. Now I need the decontamination shower! And a barf bag.

 

[Da Dude123]

This Lucas is reminiscent of classic Lucas YouTube videos of years past. He goes on about how he hears young women in Spokane talking about how they hate the oligarchy. Pretty sure that is his schizophrenia. He also talks about how he has an EBT card but was still able to buy a $100 board game. He also goes on about how he is handsome and that if you're attractive he may take you to Fire Pizza but not Churchill's just yet. He also says that he can provide healthy children due to his superior telomeres. Oh, yeah, and possibly my favorite. A almost 40 year old man who refuses to work and lives in a home for societal rejects tells everyone they need to "grow up". LMAO!

Maybe You're Like Me

https://paypal.me/lucascolbywerner Instagram: lucaswerner79

youtu.be

 

[Man vs persistent rat]

I've noticed he looks even more verifiably bald when his hair isn't glued flat to his skull, the widows peak is continuing its steady circuit towards the crown of his head until it becomes an isolated island of fluff.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

I've noticed he looks even more verifiably bald when his hair isn't glued flat to his skull, the widows peak is continuing its steady circuit towards the crown of his head until it becomes an isolated island of fluff.

View attachment 986039

Not to get all Vidal Sassoon, but growing out his hair was a mistake. When you've lost that much, and your solution is "just grow what I have left really long and slick it down!" your pretty well fucked.

Only one man in history made this look good, and Lucas is no Julian Sands.

 

[Man vs persistent rat]

Yeah he's in the no-win situation where he has to comb his hair back to hide his bald crown, but this in turn exposes his receding peak.

A guy who thinks he looks like such a stud could never sacrifice his hair, of course. If Jude Law can't cheat time, somebody living like Lucas sure can't.

 

[Mushroom Soup]

View attachment 986039

Telomere Snake

 

[AbraCadaver]

Fucking shave your head, m8

it looks a treat on most men, far better than the bizarre balding patterns

 

[JuniperFalls]

Fucking shave your head, m8

it looks a treat on most men, far better than the bizarre balding patterns

Most men don't have heads as egg-shaped as Lucas's, though.

 

[Poop Shoot]

Fucking shave your head, m8

it looks a treat on most men, far better than the bizarre balding patterns

He's fat with a fat face. He'd just look like Humpty Dumpty.

 

[mothman96]

He's fat with a fat face. He'd just look like Humpty Dumpty.

I'm thinking he'd look more like uncle Fester.

 

[Rescuetoast]

once you hit that point of hair loss you either shave your head or you just sort of accept it and give up on trying to hide that you’re going bald- which happens to a lot of men, even men in their early 20s sometimes, and there’s not inherently any shame in it. Anything else just looks bad and like you’re trying too hard.

 

[A whole lotta nope]

He should just cut all the curly greasy pieces in the back off. It's not a good look. Balding is inevitable for a lot of men, best thing to do is to roll with it.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

He should just cut all the curly greasy pieces in the back off. It's not a good look. Balding is inevitable for a lot of men, best thing to do is to roll with it.

Hear, hear. The neck drape is the worst part. It's longer than you'd think, too. When he was on his walk, some of the mullet looked about a foot long....off the neck. Ick.

 

[Garfieldchu]

So for The Wern Halloween costumes and roleplay, get a mullet wig, grease it up and shave some baldness into it.

 

[Mushroom Soup]

I like men with long hair, even if they're balding a bit. Lucas really needs to bathe though.

 

[Man vs persistent rat]

I like men with long hair, even if they're balding a bit. Lucas really needs to bathe though.

If he does, should we get you in contact? You can get a forum achievement for it if you message Null with proof.

 

[Mushroom Soup]

If he does, should we get you in contact? You can get a forum achievement for it if you message Null with proof.

I'm a millennial so my womb isn't juicy enough.