When I was a wee lil boy, I became obsessed with the idea of somehow being able to create small earthquakes using my body after seeing a fuckload of characters in games and anime do it, and I thought if I trained enough I’d be able to do it. So for years I’d go through little spells where I’d slam my fists into the ground or jump up and stomp down with all of my weight repeatedly in a sad attempt to create a shockwave strong enough to knock other people back. My plan was to master this technique and then enter the WWE or UFC or whatever as “The Earthshaker” and win every championship imaginable by knocking all the other contenders around like rag dolls with my alpha-as-fuck attack.
I eventually stopped after one of my slamming sessions made my hands so sore that I couldn’t open my fists anymore and I started panicking. I was a really fucking dumb kid.
