- Joined
- Sep 21, 2014
I know people who do that, so it wouldn't surprise me.
Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Googleshng / "Violet Hargrave" / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) Alley / Violet Cassandra Ocean - Delusional Zoe Quinn Stalker, Libelous Tweeter, Thirsty Gnome, Faux-Tranny Neckbeard Incel, Micropenis, "Known Troubled Person", Creator of "Massive vs the Masses", Self-Described "Noise Making Thing"; Lives in Niantic, CT
- Thread starter chimpburgers
- Start date
I know people who do that, so it wouldn't surprise me.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
I'm pretty sure that it's that Jake is fat and ugly, lives in a hole that he never comes out of, where he gets more free food than an entire family could possibly eat, and makes up stories. And also he's a dude.
- Joined
- May 25, 2016
Holy Gnomey, that's some shit.
Jake said:
The "young innocents" can come "stay in its hole"? Fucking Freudian bullshit man.
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2017
Jake is being ever-so-subtle as usual and letting us know he wants to stay in Chelsea's hole.
nicetry
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2017
I'm just picturing Chelsea coming across this 'fairy tale' and laughing her ass off. Jfc
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2014
Violet won't share food with other people either.
Something has to be deeply wrong when someone calls such a filthy whore "innocent".
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2018
Jake just threw this onto his tumblr:
Oh man, this is probably one of the dumbest and funniest things I've read. Without context, it's stupid and nonsensical, but with all of the context of Jake's life it's such a masterpiece of failure. The one notable event in his pathetic, sad-sack life is that all of his fake internet friends abandoned him, and he will never ever ever get over it. Imagining him weeping girlish tears into his bushy beard while writing this is just icing on the cake. I'd say he shouldn't change, but that's a given. I hope he never gets the courage to finally off himself because he always delivers the laughs for me.
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2018
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2014
I just found the original version of Jake’s fairytale.
One day, a young innocent was out for a stroll when she fell down a ravine. But her injuries weren’t severe and it was easy enough to climb out.
As she was leaving, she heard a sobbing noise. It was coming from a cave. “Boo-hoo-hooooo,” said the voice. “Please, my friends have all abandoned me.”
The innocent was about to go over, when she remembered the villagers talking about a hideous and predatory beast that lived in this ravine. “Are you that hideous creature that lures innocents into his cave?” she asked.
“No,” said the voice. “I’m actually beautiful and, being a woman myself, unable to harm you. I don’t know why people run from me.”
“But the villagers say you’re an ugly monster who entraps people,” said the innocent, who actually did have a boyfriend.
“Boo-hooooo, of course they would,” blubbered the creature. “That’s because they’re full-on Nazis. Let me show you this article I wrote explaining it.”
“No thank you,” said the innocent, who actually would have found it creepy to be referred to as an “innocent.”
“A-bloo-bla-blooo,” sobbed the creature, “It was the villagers who trapped me down here.”
“Are you sure?” said the woman. “Because the ravine really isn’t very deep at all. Look, you can just walk out there.”
“Waaaaaaaaaaa,” cried the creature, “I can’t, because I‘m too saaaaaad, and also I have PTSD from my friends abandoning me. I need help to get me out. Please help me, young innocent. Come over and help me, and mayhap stay for an episode of Kamen Rider.”
The woman didn’t want to watch Kamen Rider, because as an adult, she had no interest in kids’ shows, particularly ones aimed at boys. But she knew that people could be cruel, and sometimes made victims of those who didn’t deserve it. She edged closer to the cave. “Alright,” she said, “but I can’t stay for long, I have to get to work.”
“Yes, yes,” said the creature. “Come over to yon cave.”
“The cave you’re in? Because grammatically, that’s-“
“Boooo-hooooo-hooo,” interrupted the creature passive-aggressively.
The woman came closer and closer. When she was but a few yards from the entrance, the creature leapt out. To her horror, the woman saw that it was exactly as the villagers had described it - a huge, hairy, slavering beast. It grabbed at her with flabby arms.
She ran, scrambling out of the ravine. Fortunately, the creature was as lazy as it was bearded, and returned to the cave.
“Boo-hoo-hooooo,” it sobbed. “I can’t believe another friend abandoned me purely because of baseless rumours.” But the woman had gone, vowing never to return.
Later that day, the woman’s boyfriend came by and killed the creature with his Tommy gun, and it was pretty funny.
As she was leaving, she heard a sobbing noise. It was coming from a cave. “Boo-hoo-hooooo,” said the voice. “Please, my friends have all abandoned me.”
The innocent was about to go over, when she remembered the villagers talking about a hideous and predatory beast that lived in this ravine. “Are you that hideous creature that lures innocents into his cave?” she asked.
“No,” said the voice. “I’m actually beautiful and, being a woman myself, unable to harm you. I don’t know why people run from me.”
“But the villagers say you’re an ugly monster who entraps people,” said the innocent, who actually did have a boyfriend.
“Boo-hooooo, of course they would,” blubbered the creature. “That’s because they’re full-on Nazis. Let me show you this article I wrote explaining it.”
“No thank you,” said the innocent, who actually would have found it creepy to be referred to as an “innocent.”
“A-bloo-bla-blooo,” sobbed the creature, “It was the villagers who trapped me down here.”
“Are you sure?” said the woman. “Because the ravine really isn’t very deep at all. Look, you can just walk out there.”
“Waaaaaaaaaaa,” cried the creature, “I can’t, because I‘m too saaaaaad, and also I have PTSD from my friends abandoning me. I need help to get me out. Please help me, young innocent. Come over and help me, and mayhap stay for an episode of Kamen Rider.”
The woman didn’t want to watch Kamen Rider, because as an adult, she had no interest in kids’ shows, particularly ones aimed at boys. But she knew that people could be cruel, and sometimes made victims of those who didn’t deserve it. She edged closer to the cave. “Alright,” she said, “but I can’t stay for long, I have to get to work.”
“Yes, yes,” said the creature. “Come over to yon cave.”
“The cave you’re in? Because grammatically, that’s-“
“Boooo-hooooo-hooo,” interrupted the creature passive-aggressively.
The woman came closer and closer. When she was but a few yards from the entrance, the creature leapt out. To her horror, the woman saw that it was exactly as the villagers had described it - a huge, hairy, slavering beast. It grabbed at her with flabby arms.
She ran, scrambling out of the ravine. Fortunately, the creature was as lazy as it was bearded, and returned to the cave.
“Boo-hoo-hooooo,” it sobbed. “I can’t believe another friend abandoned me purely because of baseless rumours.” But the woman had gone, vowing never to return.
Later that day, the woman’s boyfriend came by and killed the creature with his Tommy gun, and it was pretty funny.
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2016
Imagine being so hung up on nothing at all. Jake thinks (or virtue signals) that everyone is a nazi trying to kill him but I suspect the thing most people feel after amusement and revulsion is pity. Well, pity might be too positive a noun... maybe schadenfreude.
I got halfway through and was going to negrate the shit out of you for not using "yon" but then you exceeded my expectations
I got halfway through and was going to negrate the shit out of you for not using "yon" but then you exceeded my expectations
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2018
If only yon creature could have looked cute and non-threatening. 
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2016
I assume he means casting a hulking man as she-hulk. She-Hulk could be a transgender allegory, just like most things, but it's not, it's about a small bookish woman that grows into an amazonian green lady that everyone adores and respects, she's a superstar, dudes like her. During the good run it was really about her being forced to be her brains, in her mousy body, and not the buxom green lady because the green lady is not allowed to practice law. Dan Sloth is an idiot but his She-Hulk run is really fun.
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2018
It might be more to do with Rhonda Rousey, who's probably being touted for She-Hulk and I believe has been roundly canceled by SJWs for I can't remember what, probably something they consider horribly transphobic but actually involves her being sensible.
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2015
They should be more worried about Rousey being a terrible, wooden actress and not that she thinks men shouldn’t be competing in the women’s category.
Branchland Count
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2017
Yessssss, innocent ones, come into yon cave, there I'll feed on you, I mean feed you forever.Jake just threw this onto his tumblr:
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2015
When Role Models Become Problematic: Ronda Rousey and Transmisogyny
When I see powerful women performing amazing athletic feats, it's inspiring. This is how I used to feel about Ronda Rousey.
It's all so predictable.
aquariumwater
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2017
Just girltalk... don't you ladies hate it when your local Target doesn't stock bras from the John Goodman collection?
I can't lie though, I honestly want to see Jake in a bra
I can't lie though, I honestly want to see Jake in a bra
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2016
How could this happen if trannies are indistinguishable from natal women? Isn't that the point of his collection of pictures of trans models that he has? He tells every tranny that he follows that they look "fantastic".
https://twitter.com/SecretGamerGrrl/status/1198013911380959232 (https://archive.is/GxzEC)
Jake doesn't understand a joke and says he needs a bra. IMHO this is all bullshit. There is no HRT, no cross-dressing, no wig wearing. If he had a new female wardrobe he could tweet pictures of the garments, and of his wig and his drug bottles. None of this would affect his pretend anonymity.
https://twitter.com/SecretGamerGrrl/status/1197949762093375488 (https://archive.is/mf16m)
Another unintelligent analogy from Jake: "anti-gay arguments tossed into the microwave for a few minutes". Just a few minutes but he didn't specify a power setting too. If he had that would have been thoroughly autistic.
What is his source for the "30/30/40 split of straight/gay/bi"? I suspect he just made this up.
Jake has Rhonda Rousey blocked. That's in case Rousey ever wants to read Jake's insightful and scientific tweets she can't and that would really hurt her. Jake is hitting her right where it hurts.
Last edited by a moderator:
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2014
Imma go ahead and say that a woman whose job involves physical combat, who may have to choose between her career and her life if this troon sports madness isn’t sorted, has more right to an opinion on this than a fat unemployed man whose greatest physical effort comes from straining on the toilet.
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2016
Holy shit, is Jake really suggesting the lgballiance is a right-wing front pretending to be homosexual? I've been following that one on Twitter pretty closely and can promise you it's a pack of lefty lesbians who are tired of dicks being thrust at them and feminists who see women-only opportunities being snatched up by men in wigs.