Tesla Cybertruck - Stock Price Indifferent, Twitter Apoplectic

[usernames can change now!]

Tesla has unveiled it's new pickup.



Yeah. Uh.



And then they broke the windows on stage, during a demonstration of the unbreakable "armor glass" windows.

According to Elon they've already recieved 150k preorders for the Cybertruck. It will be available with up to 500mi range, 14000lb towing, and starting at $39,900. Which is actually really impressive if you've only seen the stats and never seen a picture of it.

The pickup market in America is hilariously huge. Time will tell what Memetruck does to it.

 

[sasazuka]

Except for the wheels, the Cybertruck looks like it could be a drone vehicle rendered in filled-polygon graphics from the 1989 arcade game S.T.U.N. Runner by Atari.

 

[Your Average Soyboy]

It's a damn shame that the truck looks like Lara Croft's tits on the PS1 because the actual specs of the truck seem pretty good, although the $40k model seems kinda mediocre with a 200 mile range.

 

[Commander X]

 

[crocodilian]

I can't see it replacing the popularity of the F-150 in Burgerland. The Islamic caliphate probably won't give up their fleet of Hi-Lux for it. Europe hates trucks. Who is this thing for exactly?

 

[oldTireWater]

This is like fashion show stupid. Nobody wears/drives that shit.

You're a fag Elon.

 

[WeeMars]

Nobody drives that shit.

Sadly they most certainly will. I'm kind of looking forward to seeing these things and the dickwads who drive them out and about in like 2 years when the supposedly come out.

 

[Sam Losco]

I figured there would be enough stupid Tesla fanboys to buy this, but 150k preorders? Christ, I didn't think it'd be that bad.

This truck is top of the list of ugliest vehicles I've seen. I already wouldn't buy a Tesla simply because they can remotely do things to it since they are always connected to Tesla, but even if that wasn't the case, I would never buy this ugly fucking thing.

And the glass breaking thing is hilarious. They didn't test that before hand? The 500mi range is pretty fucking good though.

 

[Kacho]

It's fugly. They're trying way too hard to make it look sci fi and futuristic and obviously haven't put enough time and effort into actually making a quality vehicle.

 

[sasazuka]

I suspect that the Cybertruck design is for the early adopters who are impressed by retro-future gee-whizzery and that Tesla will eventually offer an electric pick-up truck with the same internals but a more traditional look for farmers and other laborers who maybe would consider switching to electric but don't want a truck that looks like it was a background vehicle from future San Angeles in Demolition Man.

 

[KittyGremlin]

I think it's weird and cool. Probably not nice in and of itself but it gave me some ideas.

 

[Quindoll]

Tesla can afford good engineers. But how the car will be, will only be seen if it actually comes out. What surprises me is the amount of alleged preorders. Preordering video games has shown time and time again to be a bad move. But thats how much money? Putting 40 k into a preorder is just insane.

And ya. Tesla isnt always the smart one. So they can also create a trainwreck. Dont forget the solar roof. Which is more expensive, less efficient and more prone to errors compared to the regular solar panel. But it looks nice...

This video from EEVblog goes a bit more into detail:

EEVblog #938 - Tesla Solar Roofs - Are They Viable?

Solar Freakin' Roofs! How viable is Tesla's Solar Roof concept? What did Elon Musk not mention at the product launch? How efficient are they? How much energy...

www.youtube.com

 

[AnOminous]

It's fugly. They're trying way too hard to make it look sci fi and futuristic and obviously haven't put enough time and effort into actually making a quality vehicle.

Yeah but it looks like sci-fi futuristic from the prop department of a B movie from the '50s. Or an arcade video game from the '80s.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

I like it. Would modify the fuck out of it if I could get one.

 

[AnOminous]

This shit is what you get when you have some stoned exec nobody can tell just to eat some fuckin Oreos and go to bed.


Along the same line as

 

[Strayserval]

i would be less put off by it if it had rear view mirrors, unless this truck has a rear camera that just never fails i wouldn't drive it.

 

[Beautiful Border]

It reminds me a lot of the Citroen Karin, I'd be very surprised if no one on the design team had seen it before

 

[Pixy]

i would be less put off by it if it had rear view mirrors, unless this truck has a rear camera that just never fails i wouldn't drive it.

Even vehicles with rear cameras still have wing and rear-view mirrors.

It's not going to score very well on safety. No wing mirrors (especially important if you load something like their ATV on it), a non-existent crumple zone, and anyone who gets hit by it head-on will be significantly injured because of the angular design.

Their electric ATV is pretty neat, but apparently you can only get it with the Cybertruck, which is rather unfortunate. The ATV would sell more on its own than Tesla's attempt at reinventing the pickup.

 

[Commander X]

It looks like a vehicle being driven by the main character(s) in a direct-to-video science-fiction-action movie from the mid-1990s, or an unsold sci-fi TV pilot from the late 1980s. The sort of vehicle that would have a dashboard panel full of blinking lights and pushbuttons and maybe a small TV screen stuck in the middle that displays wire-frame models of other vehicles or buildings or street layouts with random numbers scrolling across the top and bottom.

 

[AnOminous]

Even vehicles with rear cameras still have wing and rear-view mirrors.

It's not going to score very well on safety. No wing mirrors (especially important if you load something like their ATV on it), a non-existent crumple zone, and anyone who gets hit by it head-on will be significantly injured because of the angular design.

This obviously opens the owners, manufacturers, dealers and everyone involved with every part of this to huge liability lawsuits when someone gets crippled for life because some dumb piece of shit wanted this ugly ass thing instead of a normal car, for no sane reason.