Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 257 18.7%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 193 14.0%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 782 56.8%

  • Total voters
    1,377
I still love that even Jack refuses to use his own sauce. Shit, the fat fuck refuses to use his own seasoning mixes too like he did even a few years ago, maybe even do some shit like group samples and stuff to really show if and how he's making the "Best" anything.

What type of mushbrained tard fucking does this stupid shit? Especially when you know that have stock still left over just mothballing and going stale/rancid.

He bragged about his BBQ sauce being "the best you'll ever taste" to Texans and didn't even know how to properly barbecue. Nobody on its right mind would buy his sauce after that.
 
You mean Kent Rollins? He's pretty cool.


He does better with the kind of shit that would be used on the trail in the 19th Century than Jack does in a modern kitchen with every gadget that can be ordered online. Like Beef Wellington.


It's even "lazy man's" although he just calls it easy. Because he isn't exceptional like Jack.
Cowboy Kent is an absolute boss and all that wagon shit isn't for show as he is an actual trail cook and uses it regularly to feed cowpokes in the middle of nowhere. There is no comparison to Jack here.
 

New Jack video, today we get to see the dead hand in action:
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You can almost feel the numbness.
 

New Jack video, today we get to see the dead hand in action:
View attachment 1031021
You can almost feel the numbness.

He came, he saw, he jingled.
  • One minute, 40 seconds spent unintelligibly rambling about coffee and a machine that he reviewed in a previous episode.
  • Jack displays the Spanish language side of the box. Hay días tontos y tontos todos los días.
  • We “come on in close” to find that Jack has displayed the Heinz Mayochup bottle upside down.
  • Fifty seconds spent babbling about store-brand chicken sauces.
  • Jack reacts to the chicken sauce in disgust, claims he can still taste it, immediately dives in on the mayochup.
  • “To me they were all failures, so just stick with what you’re using. Great job.”
Just when you think he can’t possibly get any more lazy or worse, he ups his game.
 
Jack doing tech reviews...

It is so smaaaaaaaaaaaaall.

Yeah...great. That drive is a great tool for people who need high transfer speed and actually move around. SSD has no moving parts so it is a better choice if you work on the go and need the storage. I've had many laptops fail because the mechanical drive ends up damaged after months of being in my backpack.

That said it is a bad choice if the drive is going to just sit next to your laptop that never leaves your desk.

Okay, great, you can transfer 540mb/s with the SSD on 3.1. That's fantastic if it is an OS drive or gaming drive or I guess you were streaming to a network from it.

But let's take Jack's use case:

You have tons of cuckold porn you want to have access to on your laptop that never moves. You can spend $250 on a 2 TB smol and portable SSD drive or you can spend $170 on a 10TB drive that is a little bulkier. Sure the 10TB is only 160mb/s transfer but that's good enough for HD cuckhold porn.

What really bugs me is that outside of being totally ignorant about technology Jack probably returns everything he reviews. Claiming it isn't cheap enough and didn't have enough meat on it.

Nice to see Jack is consistent. He is as dumb at cooking as he is with tech. What a waste of money. SSDs are great as OS drives but offline storage? Dumb and expensive. I find this more offensive and wasteful than his cooking.
 
Nice to see Jack is consistent. He is as dumb at cooking as he is with tech. What a waste of money. SSDs are great as OS drives but offline storage? Dumb and expensive. I find this more offensive and wasteful than his cooking.
You could make an argument for an external SSD if you need to transfer lots of big files on a regular basis to and from an internal SSD.
BUT, Jack's use case is one or two files a week, coming and going from the mechanical HDD in his Mac. The only advantage at this point is that it is physically smaller. Which just means Jack is more likely to lose it or sit on the fucking thing and break it.
 
All I am going to say is that is is horrible and how can he claim to have such good sauce when he cannot even BBQ!!! This guy is such a fraud. I checked his youtube channel and he can grill on a gas grill, and a Traeger but I did not see any other type of smoker used. Anways BOO this turd!!!

So, when are we going to have a brave soul in this thread try one of Jack's rancid sauces?
 
View attachment 1031142

In case you needed some proof that Jack was an illiterate piece of garbage. He's surprised that Arby's doesnt have coffee, but if you could read the menu, you would have seen years ago they don't have any coffee.
Years ago Arby's (at least locally) served breakfast for a while. They must have had coffee then. It is a bit weird not to have it, but nothing to make a big deal about. I'm almost tempted to go down there and see if they do or not. It's about a mile and a half away, so unlike Jack, I'd consider walking.
 

New Jack video, today we get to see the dead hand in action:
View attachment 1031021
You can almost feel the numbness.
Because chugging sauces totally is a good topic for any show...

And I love how he hates all of them, probably because they're not chock full of butter, sugar, salt, soy, and any other calorie loaders possible.
Did he really attribute the Walmart Chicken Dipping sauce being sold out was because of his fucking review? Yeah, that's gotta be it you mong.
He is that delusional and dishonest; remember he is desperately trying to pretend this is a job just so he can lie to Tammy and himself that he isn't just a fat indolent manchild with an eating disorder.
View attachment 1031142

In case you needed some proof that Jack was an illiterate piece of garbage. He's surprised that Arby's doesnt have coffee, but if you could read the menu, you would have seen years ago they don't have any coffee.
This is pure mushbrained tardery combined with his inner middle-school girl. Rather than maybe admit he's just being senile and/or stroke addled, he tries to take the knives out on a place for not having something that my ass knew they didn't have. For years on end.

I bet you the only reason he didn't go full Karen was because he got dunked on hard by that cleaning company and he's scared to do it.
 
"No matter what you're cooking, seasoning and sauce are the most important things"

- Cooking with Jack

Well that's just pure dumbness. It certainly isn't the case with steak where quite often seasoning is completely superfluous, or you're looking at adding a touch of salt and maybe butter, and maybe waving a bit of garlic over it.
 
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Words *TAP* words *TAP* words *TAP TAP TAP* words *TAP TAP* words *TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP*
FUCK THAT WAS DRIVING ME CRAZY

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"This is the Kroger's version of Walmart's chicken dipping sauce."
You fucking faggot. How you gonna say it's they're a ripoff version of another store's ripoff version.
He talks about the Walmart brand version like it's always sold out. You know where Chick Fil A sauce won't be sold out? At Chick Fil A. You can just go there and get a tub of it no problem. Might be a tiny bit more expensive, but at least you're supporting the real innovators instead of fucking Walmart.

MayoChup, which is Mayo and Ketchup, both things we all are familiar with and have tasted together countless numbers of times, he calls it "Thousand Island without the relish" which is about 100x more abstract in comparison. \

He tells a story about how he would market his sauces (BBQ mind you). He started off with steak with sauce on it, but changed to hamburger because it got too expensive. Hamburger was still too expensive and decided to just let their customers drink it straight instead and that lead to the most sales.

He says seasoning and sauce are the most important things when cooking. If you think this, you have the palette of a fucking child. The ingredients are the most important thing. Give me good quality proteins and fresh vegetables with salt and pepper over an overcooked chicken breast with chick fil a sauce and canned vegetables with mayochup any day.

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Jack sings a little playful ditty here. "Let me pop this open here.. doot doot dootdootdootdoot doot.. and it pops open!"
"It smells like Chick Fil A sauce, I don't know if it is." Nigga did you buy it from Chick Fil A? Does the fucking label say Kroger's? Then it's not Chick Fil A sauce.
He says it's always sold out at Chick Fil A, and they want you to pay for it! You might as well pay for it at Walmart. What's with this dude constantly shilling walmart. Both places make you pay for sauce, so you might as well buy it from Walmart instead?

Jack smells the Mayochup twice unironically then goes on a rant about how weird it is that people smelled sauces before tasting them. That's one of the least weird things you can ever do with food. How something smells affects how it tastes you neanderthal. "Yeah tastes like Thousand Island........ with no relish." So contrived.

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Look how thick and viscous that catchup is. The way it comes out of the bottle "is just like catchup" says Jack. Thanks!
Jack also describes how it looks as "ewww". Always a good descriptor when talking about food.
 
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