Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[multiverse]

How utterly humiliating and amazing that it didn't create some sort of self-awareness on her part

Lol, self awareness. She ate a sheet cake with her face on it to celebrate her humiliation. And published it.

 

[Exhausted Always]

Real military issue doesnt come in her size. They throw you out if you get fat and fail to lose weight after all the usual interventions.

Not to worry...looks like she has hooked up with Massy Arias again according to her stories. Let’s see how this shit show plays out.

 

[Dumb Bitch Smoothie]

God she's so gross. I see fat people all the time but there's just something about her that just seems like she's a glitch in the simulation or something.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

Of course, just like when Self magazine desperately draped some fabric over Tess in lieu of putting her in an actual outfit because nothing fit, lol.
View attachment 1043449
Somehow every single size 22 in the world "runs small"! How weird.

Oh fuck. This picture has to be the funniest out of the SELF lot - it literally looks like they deconstructed a cute pink strap dress and then hung it in front of her. I assume that's not far from the truth. I really want to hear from people behind this shoot because I imagine the gossip is good.

 

[lamp shade]

This picture is an amazing trainwreck.

It also serves as evidence that she can’t tie her own shoes because I doubt she can bend over much more than that.

 

[LetThemEatCake]

Not to worry...looks like she has hooked up with Massy Arias again according to her stories. Let’s see how this shit show plays out.

Massy seems, in the grand tradition of useless, greedy trainers, to be shilling protein powders with various flavours added and to be recruiting Tess in some way to help shill them.

Because everyone will look at Tess's amazing figure and think wow, I want to look like THAT. Kaching!

Seriously, Massy clearly doesn't give a fuck how ridiculous she looks as long as maybe some Tess fans buy her grossly overpriced pouches of whey in pretty little girly boxes or whatever it is she's selling there.

Never get why people force this shit down themselves when eating actual protein-heavy food is cheaper, tastier and doesn't look like baby vomit.

 

[JambledUpWords]

 

[Burn Book]

Only tangentally related, but Ashley Graham, a plus size model who actually has a decent career, is on one of the covers of Vogue US this month, with the caption "the model who changed an industry". I think Tess might be seething a little.

 

[Cpl. Long Dong Silver]

Real military issue doesnt come in her size. They throw you out if you get fat and fail to lose weight after all the usual interventions.

I may or may not be familiar with AR 600-9. It was a joke about how fucking fat Tess is.

Really she would need two ponchos buttoned together

 

[JambledUpWords]

Only tangentally related, but Ashley Graham, a plus size model who actually has a decent career, is on one of the covers of Vogue US this month, with the caption "the model who changed an industry". I think Tess might be seething a little.

I saw the news too and immediately thought of how jealous Tess might be. Here’s the cover:

She looks better than Tess can ever hope to be.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

I saw the news too and immediately thought of how jealous Tess might be. Here’s the cover:
View attachment 1044412
She looks better than Tess can ever hope to be.

I'd assume that Ashley actually works to maintain her weight and even pregnant she's not just binging out on everything. Fatso couldn't even keep the one feature that M.ilk launched her for (ie having a "normal" face on a obese fatsos body) and has now wrecked even that via fillers and weight gain. Once you start packing on weight in the face you need to start losing serious weight to get rid of it as it tends to be the last place show weight loss in my experience.

 

[Water-T]

View attachment 1044374

Says the white woman who has never dated a non-white person, married a white dude, and stalked another white dude.

 

[JuniperFalls]

From upthread: "Yeah, my white husband ran out on me and our kid and skedaddled over to the exact opposite side of the planet because I wanted him to. No, really!!"

 

[Whatthefuck]

Says the white woman who has never dated a non-white person, married a white dude, and stalked another white dude.

I think she's alluding to her recent stint into faux lesbianism. All deathfats round this corner eventually.

 

[Punkinsplice]

I may or may not be familiar with AR 600-9. It was a joke about how fucking fat Tess is.

Really she would need two ponchos buttoned together

I knew you were joking! I brought up the military because it just highlights how the "healthy and hugely fat" delusion shatters when these people try to be included with every facet of society. I apologize for fucking up your joke, though.

 

[Cpl. Long Dong Silver]

I knew you were joking! I brought up the military because it just highlights how the "healthy and hugely fat" delusion shatters when these people try to be included with every facet of society. I apologize for fucking up your joke, though.

Nah you're good bro. You're right about deathfats and service.

I'm surprised there aren't more pushing for the DoD to accept more fatties.

 

[Barbarella]

I just got a better look at Tess’s Self photo, the one in her nude granny panties, and as much photoshop as they did on h, apparently they can’t do a lot over her tats, because it’s very clear she didn’t shave her legs for this shoot. (And probably is unable to at all. )

Looking close, I think the editor got some revenge on her because there are areas where they could have smoothed and made hairs and bumps disappear-and they didn’t.

Tess clearly can’t shave her legs. I suppose she could get them waxed but that would be expensive and take a lot of time to do the entire leg. She could have done laser hair removal too, but it may interfere with her tats. Now that hubby isn’t living with her, is it up to Jolene? Or one of the kids?

 

[Punkinsplice]

I just got a better look at Tess’s Self photo, the one in her nude granny panties, and as much photoshop as they did on h, apparently they can’t do a lot over her tats, because it’s very clear she didn’t shave her legs for this shoot. (And probably is unable to at all. )

Looking close, I think the editor got some revenge on her because there are areas where they could have smoothed and made hairs and bumps disappear-and they didn’t.

Tess clearly can’t shave her legs. I suppose she could get them waxed but that would be expensive and take a lot of time to do the entire leg. She could have done laser hair removal too, but it may interfere with her tats. Now that hubby isn’t living with her, is it up to Jolene? Or one of the kids?

Nair? Or maybe she can't bend to even do that. It wouldn't surprise me if depilatory cream burned her skin, though. I don't know how people use it! Time to get all granola Tess! Oh heah, that wouldn't agree with all the fake shit she uses, would it?

 

[Pineapple Fox]

I think she’s reached that point where’s she’s so fat she doesn’t need to shave, a side affect of obesity where hair can’t grow through the follicles. She did say, quite awhile ago, she has a waxer but that could have changed now that money is an issue.

I wonder if sets will shave them for her? I don’t know how that works but when you get tattooed and haven’t shaved yourself the artist will do it for you.

 

[LetThemEatCake]

I'd assume that Ashley actually works to maintain her weight and even pregnant she's not just binging out on everything.

Graham has lost some weight in the past few years and shaped up considerably. I've seen photos of her where it's very obvious. She and Tess are night and day when it comes to figure, attitude and basic suitability to be a model, 'plus size' or not. Tess is a short apple-shaped short beachball on legs with bloated limbs, where as Ashley always held her weight in a much more normal flattering way. Of course, Graham was never much more than 200lb at 5' 9" so there was less fat to have to store in odd places. She's way under 200lb these days as well. Tess probably has over 200lb on Graham at this point, as well as being 7-8 inches shorter. It should be reason for Tess to work harder to keep her figure, but it seems the opposite is true.

Graham's model book measurements are listed as Waist. 31.5". Bust. 42". Hips. 46.5" .. compare and contrast with Tess. And you can bet when Graham shows up for work, she has the measurements she was hired for, and can fit all the clothes picked out for her.