Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[WaltherPPGAY]

My God. That Nerd Crew sequence of headlines declaring the Tros the most popular and successful film of all time.

 

[Jewthulhu]

I personally cannot wait to hear how Rey goes around healing everyone and comes back from the dead because Disney made her literally Space Jesus. Fans will go ape shit.

Is that their emergency switch if killing Kylo goes poorly? Rey brings him back because she's space Jesus and wuvz him uwu?

 

[Creep3r]

Aaaaaaaaand the Nerd Crew have arrived to herald the coming shitshow

Also Mike seems to be beta testing the new disney approved soylent grin model...

I hate being so mushy but the Galaxy's Edge jabs gave me a warm feeling in that black hole I call a heart.

Is that their emergency switch if killing Kylo goes poorly? Rey brings him back because she's space Jesus and wuvz him uwu?

If I remember right, one of the leaks claimed she revives someone. Some rumors claimed it was Luke but most of it was unknown. Can you imagine the horror if she brings back Ren at the end and they both just chillax on the ruins of the Lars Homstead? That'll be the most shameless shipper pandering ever conceived... And it would shamefully work since the majority of the DT's fanbase are just shippers.

 

[Judge Holden]

If I remember right, one of the leaks claimed she revives someone. Some rumors claimed it was Luke but most of it was unknown. Can you imagine the horror if she brings back Ren at the end and they both just chillax on the ruins of the Lars Homstead? That'll be the most shameless shipper pandering ever conceived... And it would shamefully work since the majority of the DT's fanbase are just shippers.

Oh god its going to be like one of the batshit scenes in Jon Boorman's plan for Lord of the Rings where Aragon literally fucks Eowyn back to life after the Witch King kills her

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

Oh god its going to be like one of the batshit scenes in Jon Boorman's plan for Lord of the Rings where Aragon literally fucks Eowyn back to life after the Witch King kills her

Oh, so I guess that's what this is about:

Spoiler: REPOST

 

[Creep3r]

Oh god its going to be like one of the batshit scenes in Jon Boorman's plan for Lord of the Rings where Aragon literally fucks Eowyn back to life after the Witch King kills her

Christ Almighty... what if that's the kiss scene...? Rey just floats up Ren's mangled corpse from the pit and kisses his dislocated blood-stained mouth which brings him back to life, but its not because of the Force... Its because of the power of LOVE which is greater than any FORCE. So not only does Rey become the Force, she fucking surpasses it.

 

[Raging Capybara]

I'm legit hyped to watch this movie (a bootleg copy, of course). This shit sounds hilarious.

Remember Shrek kissing Finn at the end of TLJ? yeah, but 20 times worse, that's going to be the end of the "Skywalker saga". Man, the reviewers are going to have a field day with this dumpster fire.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Is that their emergency switch if killing Kylo goes poorly? Rey brings him back because she's space Jesus and wuvz him uwu?

He bring her back by giving her his life force apparently.

 

[Creep3r]

"FANS! PLEASE! Have faith in us! Even though we've done nothing or said nothing to deserve your faith. Not even your trust... Just consume product! PLEASE!"

I have no words...

Also, get a load of this. The absolute state of r/StarWars, the former save haven and HQ for shill drones everywhere is now contaminated beyond all reason, its even beyond the control of mods.

r/StarWars - This Character only exists to sell disney merch and has achieved/done nothing in the two films she has been in. Change my mind.

45,103 votes and 3,685 comments so far on Reddit

www.reddit.com

This is the breaking point. Even if the movie makes its profit back ten fold, the chaos before the storm is a fun ride.

 

[Crabbo]

I'm legit hyped to watch this movie (a bootleg copy, of course). This shit sounds hilarious.

Remember Shrek kissing Finn at the end of TLJ? yeah, but 20 times worse, that's going to be the end of the "Skywalker saga". Man, the reviewers are going to have a field day with this dumpster fire.

All the unpurchased reviews at least.
A lot of people are going to suddenly find mice money in their holiday stockings, and have unfounded love for a garbage movie. im predicting a 100% on rotten, to counter the ~40 user review scores which is only so low due to 'Russian troll-bots'.

 

[Jewthulhu]

I'm legit hyped to watch this movie (a bootleg copy, of course). This shit sounds hilarious.

Remember Shrek kissing Finn at the end of TLJ? yeah, but 20 times worse, that's going to be the end of the "Skywalker saga". Man, the reviewers are going to have a field day with this dumpster fire.

We need a "guess the review score" poll. I'm predicting a "critic" score in the high 90s-100 and a viewer score in the low 50s.

 

[Raging Capybara]

All the unpurchased reviews at least.
A lot of people are going to suddenly find mice money in their holiday stockings, and have unfounded love for a garbage movie. im predicting a 100% on rotten, to counter the ~40 user review scores which is only so low due to 'Russian troll-bots'.

Well. I was talking more about the likes of RLM, E;r and so on. I honestly forgot rotten tomatoes even existed, these will give it a sounding 10/10, no doubt. But I really don't care about those clowns.

We need a "guess the review score" poll. I'm predicting a "critic" score in the high 90s-100 and a viewer score in the low 50s.

The professional reviewers are just paid advertisements. It's going to range in the 95% or more on RT. And they're going to say it's the best since "Empire Strikes Back" willfully forgetting they said the same thing two years ago.

Speaking about that, when is the embargo?

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

The professional reviewers are just paid advertisements. It's going to range in the 95% or more on RT. And they're going to say it's the best since "Empire Strikes Back" willfully forgetting they said the same thing two years ago.

It isn't just the media who are paid to shill Disney crap:

Disney Caught Lying AboutvHiring Japanese Artists To Promote Film

The Wall Street Journal Reports: Japanese artists hired to promote Walt Disney Co. DIS 0.12% ’s movie “Frozen 2” on Twitter said they were instructed to hide that they were paid for the work, contr…

disneystarwarsisdumb.wordpress.com

Now you can't even believe randos on Twitter are genuine.

 

[PeeveTheSheev]

You see what's the problem? They can't pander to one set of fans without offending the other, and Disney wants both their moneys and good word of mouth. So what can they do

Who could have foreseen pandering to absolute lunatics would be a bad idea?

 

[Rotollo]

This is the breaking point. Even if the movie makes its profit back ten fold, the chaos before the storm is a fun ride.

yeah this was always going to happen, there was no way star wars could survive past the "skywalker saga" to be fair
even if 7 and 8 were really good, after 9 the public would lose interest.

 

[Reverend]

Well, Mandalorian was pretty good again. I didn't know Clancy Brown was going to be in it, so super nice surprise.

Watch Carnivale if you are a Clancy Brown fan boy like me. He's fucking amazing.

 

[Jub-Jub]

2. Established IPs have an established customer-base that they can shriek at. That the customer-base may not want what they're selling is not a conclusion they are concerned with, because they will get positive feedback from their idiot friends who will simply be happy that their preferred brand of Autism is being shoved in the public's face with all the subtlety of horse-cock guy. When the customer then rightly tells them to fuck off, they act like the customer should have no say in what they consume even though by all accounts they ultimately have absolute authority.

It's kinda amazing how Disney deliberately bought SW to expand into young -> mid age male demographic, then promtply spat in their faces, told them to fuck off, and chased after the mostly female tumblr demographic they already had.

Here's some shit vfx work i saw in a trailer.

Is Rey shooting the jumping bike weird to anybody else? At first i thought she had shakier hands than Micheal J Fox, but on closer inspection it looks like the blaster barrel jumps to make shooting more "dynamic".

In an interview with ABC news, JJ Abrams revealed that the movie will have a kissing scene. Whether he means something shitastic like Reylo or the PoeZorry kiss is anyone's guess.

Don't forget JJ's a hack so maybe Fin/sister incest is on the cards.

 

[Marissa Moira]

JJ Abrans can't even tell a lie properly, let alone a 90 minute story.

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

Don't forget JJ's a hack so maybe Fin/sister incest is on the cards.

I don't think he's ready to commit career suicide right now. He's got a bright future ruining DC films after Joker put them back on the map.

Hopefully he proves me wrong and does right by Superman.

 

[Creep3r]

So supposedly the only force ghosts in the movie are Luke, Leia and maybe Yoda. All the others only appear as voices when merging with Rey. The Emperor also apparently has all sith ghosts in him too but you can only hear them in voice. Can't have too many ghosts without scaring China. Which makes me think Luke and Leia's ghosts will not be transparent or glowing. Just kinda bluish.

Also make of this shit what you will.