- Joined
- Jan 5, 2015
Disney probably won't consider the Kinect related content canon, but the Fortnite one? Probably will...
Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off
- Thread starter CowReserach Inc.
- Start date
Disney probably won't consider the Kinect related content canon, but the Fortnite one? Probably will...
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2017
Ironically one of them does look like an alien set to be in Plan 9, but its covered in mummy wrappings.
I can already foresee the Wookieepedia page for it now.
"The Fortnite Tournament was an intergalactic battle royal event held in the Sugg System on planet Stonewood. In 38 ABY, after successfully destroying the Sith and ridding the Galaxy of the First Order, Rey Skywalker was invited to participate in this tournament after impressing the tournament managers who only chose the most powerful opponents from across the 27 galaxies. Her confirmation to participate in the tournament raised so much interest that the central offices of the Pangalactic Coca-Cola megacorp on Mygeeto offered to be the young jedi master's sponsor."
Nu-Lucasfilm might actually be stupid enough do it. They already went this far. Might as well go all out.
- Joined
- Apr 6, 2015
speaking of fortnite
does the rey skin make it so you win every game while doing nothing?
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
I feel the need to write something here. Kathleen Kennedy's disastrous stewardship of Star Wars. Hmmm. Kathleen Kennedy. Kathy K. Oh yes. I feel a song coming on.
Wake up Kathy, I think I got something to say to you
It's late December and all the online leaks have come true
I know you think it's woke, but to me it's just a bad joke
Oh, Kathy I couldn't have lolled, any harder.
You led us up the garden path, and you stomped all over the past
You fucked Star Wars, and that's what really hurts.
The insistence on subverting expectations fills us with rage
But that's okay, your asspatters think this is better than anything
Filled the script with stupid jokes, and killed off Supreme Leader Snoke
Oh, Kathy I couldn't have cringed, any more.
You led us up the garden path, and you stomped all over the past
You fucked Star Wars, and blamed the fans for pointing this out.
All we wanted was a film that at least didn't suck
But you turned it into a hot mess and fuck me what a mess; I mean, holy fuck
All you did was wreck the brand, and make characters nobody could stand
Oh, Kathy I couldn't have taken it, any more.
You led us up the garden path, and you stomped all over the past
You fucked Star Wars, nobody can save it now if they tried.
I suppose we should move on and pretend that it isn't real
Or at least make it clear how us loyalists really feel
But thanks to the "Legends" rebrand, there's nobody to lend a hand
Oh, Kathy I wish I'd never, seen your films.
You made a first class fool out us all, and sent Lucasfilm to the wall
You fucked Star Wars, but the rat loves you anyway.
Wake up Kathy, I think I got something to say to you
It's late December and all the online leaks have come true
I know you think it's woke, but to me it's just a bad joke
Oh, Kathy I couldn't have lolled, any harder.
You led us up the garden path, and you stomped all over the past
You fucked Star Wars, and that's what really hurts.
The insistence on subverting expectations fills us with rage
But that's okay, your asspatters think this is better than anything
Filled the script with stupid jokes, and killed off Supreme Leader Snoke
Oh, Kathy I couldn't have cringed, any more.
You led us up the garden path, and you stomped all over the past
You fucked Star Wars, and blamed the fans for pointing this out.
All we wanted was a film that at least didn't suck
But you turned it into a hot mess and fuck me what a mess; I mean, holy fuck
All you did was wreck the brand, and make characters nobody could stand
Oh, Kathy I couldn't have taken it, any more.
You led us up the garden path, and you stomped all over the past
You fucked Star Wars, nobody can save it now if they tried.
I suppose we should move on and pretend that it isn't real
Or at least make it clear how us loyalists really feel
But thanks to the "Legends" rebrand, there's nobody to lend a hand
Oh, Kathy I wish I'd never, seen your films.
You made a first class fool out us all, and sent Lucasfilm to the wall
You fucked Star Wars, but the rat loves you anyway.
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2019
Wait is Coca Cola seriously on the Star Wars wiki just because they sponsored an amusement park ride??????
Cod of War
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2018
Not just the wiki, it's a product in the Star Wars universe now.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2019
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2014
And your ability to suspend disbelief just got fucked squarely in the ear. Why let Sony do all the shameless product placement?
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2019
It’s like how Atari is still a thing in Blade Runner.
- Joined
- May 17, 2019
Here’s my thoughts on Fallen Order’s story after beating the game and collecting all the side content. I’m skipping anything about gameplay, level design etc. It’s worth playing through. The combat is very fun if contrived from a lore-standpoint, and the music is fucking spectacular and all original.
The game takes place 5 years after Episode 3. Main character is a Jedi padawan named Cal Kestis who is in hiding after Order 66 working on a shipbreaking planet. Really cool visuals of Old Republic Venators and ARC-170s getting broken down with no care for worker safety. Cal’s buddy almost dies in an accident but is saved after Cal uses the force. He’s one of the nu-aliens that all have human skin tone.
There’s also a massive Sarlacc donut steal on the shipbreaking planet called the Ibdis Maw.
Apparently the scrappers feed it metal and sell it’s literal shit. Later, the Imperials detain Cal’s UberPool after the accident was recorded by a probe droid. The “Inquisitors” the Second Sister and Ninth Sister kill some people, including Cal’s nu-alien friend and Cal escapes on a train, similar to the one in Solo. Train goes boom, Cal fights the Second Sister for a second and is saved by a former Jedi Knight and her nu-alien pilot friend. I will call them Bug-Eyes and Grumpy respectively.
Bug-eyes takes Cal to the planet Bogano, a conveniently unexplored/unknown planet according to Bug-eyes where a Jedi Master named Cordova placed a holocron with the dox for a shitload of force-sensitive children. He hid this info in a vault built by an ancient alien civilization called the Zeffo. I’ll get to them later. Cordova hid this info after having a vision of the Jedi Order getting 66’d. He tried to tell the Order, but no one believed him except Jocasta Nu. Jocasta Nu was the librarian Jedi who told Obi-Wan that Kamino didn’t exist in E2, and Cordova was besties with her apparently.
So, they raided the Archives and put the dox on a holocron. Anyway, he encrypted this holocron with the help of the little droid you see on Cal’s back all the time named BD-1. But, Cordova had to wipe the droid’s memories so the Imperials couldn’t capture the droid and decode the holocron. The idea being that, a Jedi would meet and befriend the droid and go visit other Zeffo vaults which would unlock BD-1s memories. This makes no sense, considering his memories were fucking wiped and anyone could theoretically find the droid and be nice to it but ok. Fun fact: Wookiepedia lists the droid’s alleged gender identity.
Anyway, Cal finds the vault and BD-1, learning of the existence of the holocron and the dox on it. Bug-eyes wants to use the info to rebuild the Jedi Order but the only way to unlock the vault is to follow Cordova’s path and pass his tests. The group leaves Bogano and goes to the Zeffo homeworld, conveniently called Zeffo. The planet as home to a community of archaeologists during the Republic era but they were all killed when the Empire took over. The Empire was also attempting to pillage the planet, apparently at the behest of Palpatine. Cal goes to an ancient Zeffo tomb, which has automaton guardians built by the Zeffo, which are frighteningly resistant to lightsabers. But, so is everything in this game. In the tomb, Cal learns of a Wookie friend of Cordova’s named Tarrful that may have more info about the Zeffo. The gang then goes to Kashyyyk.
After a pretty cool scene that is relevant to the AT-AT discussion from earlier, in which multiple AT-ATs are attacking a proto-rebel stronghold by walking through extremely deep water, Cal meets Saw Gerrera from Rogue One.
I honestly didn’t think is was Forest Whitaker doing the voice work, but apparently it was. The Wookies are hideous and are very clearly mo-capped humans with longer arms.
Once in the Zeffo tomb, Cal fights the Second Sister again and learns that she was Bug-eyes’ Padawan who was captured, tortured and turned to the dark side after Bug-eyes gave the Empire her location. Cal barely survives the encounter and is shortly knocked out and captured by a bounty hunter. Cal wakes up and is forced to fight in a gladiator arena for a crime lord called Sorc Tormo. Tormo had Cal captured to get back at Grumpy pilot alien for some gambling debts. Bug-eyes and Grumpy save Cal after several waves of enemies. This part has my favorite song in the game from a Mongolian Hunnu Rock band.
Tormo, his crime empire, and Grumpy’s gambling debts are never mentioned after this. Cal goes back to Kashyyyk and Tarrful tells him to go to the top of the Origin Tree, a big fuck-off tree that hasn’t been mentioned before Fallen Order if I’m not mistaken. Cal finds another recording telling him to find a McGuffin on Dathomir. He also fights and defeats the Ninth Sister’s Shrek lookin ass.
Dathomir is where shit starts to fall apart IMO. Dathomir has a decent bit of connection to the main canon. Darth Maul is from here, Asaji Ventress is from here, the Rancor is from here, etc. Is any of this referenced or shown? No. What we get instead is a pathetic Joruus C’baoth rip-off, zombies, baby not-Rancor, PTSD, and a weird massive bird monster. We do get Tina Ivlev as Nightsister Merrin who can absolutely get it though. Anyway, Cal has a vision of his Master, Jaro Tapal, over his guilty feelings about his Master’s death and his lightsaber breaks. He goes to Ilum to get a new kyber crystal to rebuild his lightsaber and goes back to Dathomir. There’s a pretty cool flashback to the moment Order 66 is enacted and you get to see a Lasat Jedi shit all over some clone troopers. As Cal and Jaro are escaping, Jaro is shot a bunch and Cal REEEs; using his Force Stasis ability to temporarily freeze people and objects. Cal overcomes his guilt and fights the C’Baoth rip-off with Merrin. Afterwards, Cal fins the McGuffin and Merrin joins his crew on the ship. They go back to Bogano to unlock the vault, but Cal is attacked by the Second Sister, Bug-eyes’ old Padawan, again. She loses the fight but steals the holocron. Cal goes back to the ship and Bug-eyes literally knights him, like its Medieval Britain or something, with his lightsaber.
The group then attacks the Imperial Inquisitor headquarters in an underwater base on a moon called Nur. This planet is a nu-planet and apparently a moon of Mustafar. Cal and Bug-eyes infiltrate the base after Merrin magickally CLOAKS A WHOLE FUCKING SHIP while they’re in visual contact with like 4 Star Destroyers. Cal finds Sister 2 in the interrogation chamber and defeats her again, taking the holocron back. Bug-eyes tried to be friends but Vader shows up. Fuckyea. Vader immediately kills Sister 2 and yeets Bug-eyes into a bottomless pit. Cal runs and barely escapes Vader, but is surprised by Vader while trying to leave the base. Vader is shocked by BD-1 and this lets Cal get a small hit on Vader’s armor and they have a Force tug-of-war with Cals lightsaber. Vader stabs Cal in the chest with his saber and is about to kill him when Bug-eyes miraculously shows up. She fights Vader, who is only using one hand and loses her saber. Cere has a second where she embraces the Dark side but then Cal says stop it and she instead makes a Force-field that can stop lightsabers.
Vader is about to break through it when Cal uses his saber to break a wall and flood the room, allowing them both to escape. There’s a Disney moment at the end where everyone is all friends now and Merrin makes a pass at Cal. Cal destroys the holocron because gathering the Force sensitive kids would make it easier for the Empire to find them and the story ends.
Characters:
Cal: Cal is fine. He has an arc, even if he isn’t drastically different at the end of the game. He isn’t insufferable, he says some genuinely funny shit especially when solving puzzles. I don’t understand the implied depth of his connection to Bug-eyes. His interactions with BD-1 remind me of Luke and Artoo. There just seems to be a lot that is implied about his motivations and friendships. Like, yeah he’s the MC. Of course he’s friends with the other people, of course he’s gonna go on this whole quest to resurrect the Jedi Order. He’s in a weird place in the canon though. He is simultaneously really strong and really weak. He can freeze people in place for almost 10 whole seconds, but only knows how to push and pull. He is proficient in single bladed, dual bladed, and dual wielded lightsaber combat, as well as how to construct and modify lightsabers on the fly, but has difficulty taking down a few stormtroopers. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that earlier. Cal gets a double bladed lightsaber, and later is able to separate both parts to dual wield. TMK that hasn’t been done in the EU or Disney canon. He did effectively stop his Jedi training when he was like 13-14, but that seems like a weird skill set to have at that age. There are some cool scripted scenes where he is being depicted envisioning himself as the new top dog in the Jedi Order with a bunch of Younglings calling him Master Kestis and stuff, but they never expand on that more selfish part of him.
Bug-eyes: Cool concept for a character. The corrupted Jedi who betrayed her order and Padawan. But I really don’t like Debra Wilson in the role. Her model is really creepy looking. Which is weird because Merrin and Cal’s models look pretty good. I’d have loved Niko Coster-Waldeau, or if you have to have a woman of color, Angela Bassett would be cash.
Merrin: Hot alien girl. Doesn’t really have much of an arc. She starts off wanting to murder Cal and anyone who isn’t a Nightsister/brother, but comes around when Cal shows her everyone who isn’t like you isn’t bad. Then she suddenly has a thing for Cal. They don’t do anything with that, and she never leaves the ship to help you.
Grumpy: He’s the gruff, wisecracking captain with a heart of gold who really cares for his friends trope. Except he’s a nu-alien. I don’t mind his design too much, and there’s plenty of jokes about his extra arms. He’s fine but doesn’t serve the plot worth a damn.
BD-1: I actually really like him. I don’t know if that’s actually because he has good interaction with Cal all throughout the game (there’s a button that is never referenced that you can press at anytime during gameplay to have a little exchange between Cal and BD), or what. He’s a damn sight better than BB-8. He does have a metric fuck-ton of utility for such a small droid that weirdly can’t actually talk, but I excuse some of it for the sake of the gameplay.
Canon:
How does this fuck with the canon. Well first, lightsabers seem incredibly weak in this game. At first, I excused it for a gameplay concern, but even in the cutscenes they’re weak. And then at the same time, they’ll have the same insane levels of power and utility that they’ve been shown to have in the books and movies. It’s really weird.
Now the Zeffo. According to the in-game info,
That’s all I have for right now. If I think of anything else I’ll add it. Feel free to ask questions too. You can find a link to a cracked torrent for the game below if you wanna play it on PC.
www.skidrowcodex.net
The game takes place 5 years after Episode 3. Main character is a Jedi padawan named Cal Kestis who is in hiding after Order 66 working on a shipbreaking planet. Really cool visuals of Old Republic Venators and ARC-170s getting broken down with no care for worker safety. Cal’s buddy almost dies in an accident but is saved after Cal uses the force. He’s one of the nu-aliens that all have human skin tone.
There’s also a massive Sarlacc donut steal on the shipbreaking planet called the Ibdis Maw.
Apparently the scrappers feed it metal and sell it’s literal shit. Later, the Imperials detain Cal’s UberPool after the accident was recorded by a probe droid. The “Inquisitors” the Second Sister and Ninth Sister kill some people, including Cal’s nu-alien friend and Cal escapes on a train, similar to the one in Solo. Train goes boom, Cal fights the Second Sister for a second and is saved by a former Jedi Knight and her nu-alien pilot friend. I will call them Bug-Eyes and Grumpy respectively.
Bug-eyes takes Cal to the planet Bogano, a conveniently unexplored/unknown planet according to Bug-eyes where a Jedi Master named Cordova placed a holocron with the dox for a shitload of force-sensitive children. He hid this info in a vault built by an ancient alien civilization called the Zeffo. I’ll get to them later. Cordova hid this info after having a vision of the Jedi Order getting 66’d. He tried to tell the Order, but no one believed him except Jocasta Nu. Jocasta Nu was the librarian Jedi who told Obi-Wan that Kamino didn’t exist in E2, and Cordova was besties with her apparently.
So, they raided the Archives and put the dox on a holocron. Anyway, he encrypted this holocron with the help of the little droid you see on Cal’s back all the time named BD-1. But, Cordova had to wipe the droid’s memories so the Imperials couldn’t capture the droid and decode the holocron. The idea being that, a Jedi would meet and befriend the droid and go visit other Zeffo vaults which would unlock BD-1s memories. This makes no sense, considering his memories were fucking wiped and anyone could theoretically find the droid and be nice to it but ok. Fun fact: Wookiepedia lists the droid’s alleged gender identity.
Anyway, Cal finds the vault and BD-1, learning of the existence of the holocron and the dox on it. Bug-eyes wants to use the info to rebuild the Jedi Order but the only way to unlock the vault is to follow Cordova’s path and pass his tests. The group leaves Bogano and goes to the Zeffo homeworld, conveniently called Zeffo. The planet as home to a community of archaeologists during the Republic era but they were all killed when the Empire took over. The Empire was also attempting to pillage the planet, apparently at the behest of Palpatine. Cal goes to an ancient Zeffo tomb, which has automaton guardians built by the Zeffo, which are frighteningly resistant to lightsabers. But, so is everything in this game. In the tomb, Cal learns of a Wookie friend of Cordova’s named Tarrful that may have more info about the Zeffo. The gang then goes to Kashyyyk.
After a pretty cool scene that is relevant to the AT-AT discussion from earlier, in which multiple AT-ATs are attacking a proto-rebel stronghold by walking through extremely deep water, Cal meets Saw Gerrera from Rogue One.
I honestly didn’t think is was Forest Whitaker doing the voice work, but apparently it was. The Wookies are hideous and are very clearly mo-capped humans with longer arms.
Once in the Zeffo tomb, Cal fights the Second Sister again and learns that she was Bug-eyes’ Padawan who was captured, tortured and turned to the dark side after Bug-eyes gave the Empire her location. Cal barely survives the encounter and is shortly knocked out and captured by a bounty hunter. Cal wakes up and is forced to fight in a gladiator arena for a crime lord called Sorc Tormo. Tormo had Cal captured to get back at Grumpy pilot alien for some gambling debts. Bug-eyes and Grumpy save Cal after several waves of enemies. This part has my favorite song in the game from a Mongolian Hunnu Rock band.
Tormo, his crime empire, and Grumpy’s gambling debts are never mentioned after this. Cal goes back to Kashyyyk and Tarrful tells him to go to the top of the Origin Tree, a big fuck-off tree that hasn’t been mentioned before Fallen Order if I’m not mistaken. Cal finds another recording telling him to find a McGuffin on Dathomir. He also fights and defeats the Ninth Sister’s Shrek lookin ass.
Dathomir is where shit starts to fall apart IMO. Dathomir has a decent bit of connection to the main canon. Darth Maul is from here, Asaji Ventress is from here, the Rancor is from here, etc. Is any of this referenced or shown? No. What we get instead is a pathetic Joruus C’baoth rip-off, zombies, baby not-Rancor, PTSD, and a weird massive bird monster. We do get Tina Ivlev as Nightsister Merrin who can absolutely get it though. Anyway, Cal has a vision of his Master, Jaro Tapal, over his guilty feelings about his Master’s death and his lightsaber breaks. He goes to Ilum to get a new kyber crystal to rebuild his lightsaber and goes back to Dathomir. There’s a pretty cool flashback to the moment Order 66 is enacted and you get to see a Lasat Jedi shit all over some clone troopers. As Cal and Jaro are escaping, Jaro is shot a bunch and Cal REEEs; using his Force Stasis ability to temporarily freeze people and objects. Cal overcomes his guilt and fights the C’Baoth rip-off with Merrin. Afterwards, Cal fins the McGuffin and Merrin joins his crew on the ship. They go back to Bogano to unlock the vault, but Cal is attacked by the Second Sister, Bug-eyes’ old Padawan, again. She loses the fight but steals the holocron. Cal goes back to the ship and Bug-eyes literally knights him, like its Medieval Britain or something, with his lightsaber.
The group then attacks the Imperial Inquisitor headquarters in an underwater base on a moon called Nur. This planet is a nu-planet and apparently a moon of Mustafar. Cal and Bug-eyes infiltrate the base after Merrin magickally CLOAKS A WHOLE FUCKING SHIP while they’re in visual contact with like 4 Star Destroyers. Cal finds Sister 2 in the interrogation chamber and defeats her again, taking the holocron back. Bug-eyes tried to be friends but Vader shows up. Fuckyea. Vader immediately kills Sister 2 and yeets Bug-eyes into a bottomless pit. Cal runs and barely escapes Vader, but is surprised by Vader while trying to leave the base. Vader is shocked by BD-1 and this lets Cal get a small hit on Vader’s armor and they have a Force tug-of-war with Cals lightsaber. Vader stabs Cal in the chest with his saber and is about to kill him when Bug-eyes miraculously shows up. She fights Vader, who is only using one hand and loses her saber. Cere has a second where she embraces the Dark side but then Cal says stop it and she instead makes a Force-field that can stop lightsabers.
Vader is about to break through it when Cal uses his saber to break a wall and flood the room, allowing them both to escape. There’s a Disney moment at the end where everyone is all friends now and Merrin makes a pass at Cal. Cal destroys the holocron because gathering the Force sensitive kids would make it easier for the Empire to find them and the story ends.
Characters:
Cal: Cal is fine. He has an arc, even if he isn’t drastically different at the end of the game. He isn’t insufferable, he says some genuinely funny shit especially when solving puzzles. I don’t understand the implied depth of his connection to Bug-eyes. His interactions with BD-1 remind me of Luke and Artoo. There just seems to be a lot that is implied about his motivations and friendships. Like, yeah he’s the MC. Of course he’s friends with the other people, of course he’s gonna go on this whole quest to resurrect the Jedi Order. He’s in a weird place in the canon though. He is simultaneously really strong and really weak. He can freeze people in place for almost 10 whole seconds, but only knows how to push and pull. He is proficient in single bladed, dual bladed, and dual wielded lightsaber combat, as well as how to construct and modify lightsabers on the fly, but has difficulty taking down a few stormtroopers. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that earlier. Cal gets a double bladed lightsaber, and later is able to separate both parts to dual wield. TMK that hasn’t been done in the EU or Disney canon. He did effectively stop his Jedi training when he was like 13-14, but that seems like a weird skill set to have at that age. There are some cool scripted scenes where he is being depicted envisioning himself as the new top dog in the Jedi Order with a bunch of Younglings calling him Master Kestis and stuff, but they never expand on that more selfish part of him.
Bug-eyes: Cool concept for a character. The corrupted Jedi who betrayed her order and Padawan. But I really don’t like Debra Wilson in the role. Her model is really creepy looking. Which is weird because Merrin and Cal’s models look pretty good. I’d have loved Niko Coster-Waldeau, or if you have to have a woman of color, Angela Bassett would be cash.
Merrin: Hot alien girl. Doesn’t really have much of an arc. She starts off wanting to murder Cal and anyone who isn’t a Nightsister/brother, but comes around when Cal shows her everyone who isn’t like you isn’t bad. Then she suddenly has a thing for Cal. They don’t do anything with that, and she never leaves the ship to help you.
Grumpy: He’s the gruff, wisecracking captain with a heart of gold who really cares for his friends trope. Except he’s a nu-alien. I don’t mind his design too much, and there’s plenty of jokes about his extra arms. He’s fine but doesn’t serve the plot worth a damn.
BD-1: I actually really like him. I don’t know if that’s actually because he has good interaction with Cal all throughout the game (there’s a button that is never referenced that you can press at anytime during gameplay to have a little exchange between Cal and BD), or what. He’s a damn sight better than BB-8. He does have a metric fuck-ton of utility for such a small droid that weirdly can’t actually talk, but I excuse some of it for the sake of the gameplay.
Canon:
How does this fuck with the canon. Well first, lightsabers seem incredibly weak in this game. At first, I excused it for a gameplay concern, but even in the cutscenes they’re weak. And then at the same time, they’ll have the same insane levels of power and utility that they’ve been shown to have in the books and movies. It’s really weird.
Now the Zeffo. According to the in-game info,
GeneralFriendliness and I talked about this a bit, and I thought that the Zeffo were a remnant of the game that Fallen Order was before it became Fallen Order. Respawn, the developer, has been working on this game since 2014 apparently and only made it a Jedi focused Star Wars story at Disney’s insistence. Now I think that Disney wanted to make their own version of the Precursors/Kathol/Old Ones etc. The Zeffo don’t seem to be THAT old and their story is left very vague and open ended. Additionally, if you removed the Zeffo from the story completely and had Cal going to JEDI tombs/temples instead of ZEFFO tombs/temples to find the clues from Cordova, literally nothing would change. I don’t know. The Zeffo haven’t appeared in anything other than the Fallen Order game and comic book, but Fallen Order is considered canon, so they have to be there for some reason or other.
That’s all I have for right now. If I think of anything else I’ll add it. Feel free to ask questions too. You can find a link to a cracked torrent for the game below if you wanna play it on PC.
Star Wars Jedi Fallen Order-CODEX - SKiDROW CODEX
DESCRIPTION CHECK UPDATE SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS SCREENSHOT TRAILER NFO A galaxy-spanning adventure awaits in Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order, a new third-person action-adventure title from Respawn Entertainment. This narratively driven, single-player game puts you in the role of a Jedi Padawan who...
www.skidrowcodex.net
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2018
So anyone else rewatching the entire series on lead up to the 20th? just finished the OT, decided Id watch rogue one with the rlm commentary track next. Gotta say it really is amazing how magical those film are, even today. I used to have unedited copies on vhs from years ago that my folks had, but it bit the dust 2 years back so it was my first time actually seeing the edits. Didnt actually bother me that bad. Though they did add a fuck ton of little shots of boba fett just.... standing around for some reason? like not even actually doing anything. I could just be crazy, but im pretty sure in the original he showed up even less.
I also just got news back that I will be indeed seeing episode 9 on opening weekend, because all my friends want to see it, and I dont get to hang out with them often. So all I ask my friends in this here thread, that you all witness me.
I also just got news back that I will be indeed seeing episode 9 on opening weekend, because all my friends want to see it, and I dont get to hang out with them often. So all I ask my friends in this here thread, that you all witness me.
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2014
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2018
disappointment is one unique way to bond with your friends I guess.
ScatmansWorld
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2019
In honor of episode IX’s official release coming at the end of the week, I bring you lolcow Tony Goldmark and his totally-not-mad “parody” of Star Wars fans.
AtomicAgeBoy
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2019
I also have played it to completion and mostly agree with everything here. Fun game overall.Here’s my thoughts on Fallen Order’s story after beating the game and collecting all the side content. I’m skipping anything about gameplay, level design etc. It’s worth playing through. The combat is very fun if contrived from a lore-standpoint, and the music is fucking spectacular and all original.
The game takes place 5 years after Episode 3. Main character is a Jedi padawan named Cal Kestis who is in hiding after Order 66 working on a shipbreaking planet. Really cool visuals of Old Republic Venators and ARC-170s getting broken down with no care for worker safety. Cal’s buddy almost dies in an accident but is saved after Cal uses the force. He’s one of the nu-aliens that all have human skin tone.
View attachment 1053692
There’s also a massive Sarlacc donut steal on the shipbreaking planet called the Ibdis Maw.
View attachment 1053693
Apparently the scrappers feed it metal and sell it’s literal shit. Later, the Imperials detain Cal’s UberPool after the accident was recorded by a probe droid. The “Inquisitors” the Second Sister and Ninth Sister kill some people, including Cal’s nu-alien friend and Cal escapes on a train, similar to the one in Solo. Train goes boom, Cal fights the Second Sister for a second and is saved by a former Jedi Knight and her nu-alien pilot friend. I will call them Bug-Eyes and Grumpy respectively.
View attachment 1053694
Bug-eyes takes Cal to the planet Bogano, a conveniently unexplored/unknown planet according to Bug-eyes where a Jedi Master named Cordova placed a holocron with the dox for a shitload of force-sensitive children. He hid this info in a vault built by an ancient alien civilization called the Zeffo. I’ll get to them later. Cordova hid this info after having a vision of the Jedi Order getting 66’d. He tried to tell the Order, but no one believed him except Jocasta Nu. Jocasta Nu was the librarian Jedi who told Obi-Wan that Kamino didn’t exist in E2, and Cordova was besties with her apparently.
View attachment 1053695
So, they raided the Archives and put the dox on a holocron. Anyway, he encrypted this holocron with the help of the little droid you see on Cal’s back all the time named BD-1. But, Cordova had to wipe the droid’s memories so the Imperials couldn’t capture the droid and decode the holocron. The idea being that, a Jedi would meet and befriend the droid and go visit other Zeffo vaults which would unlock BD-1s memories. This makes no sense, considering his memories were fucking wiped and anyone could theoretically find the droid and be nice to it but ok. Fun fact: Wookiepedia lists the droid’s alleged gender identity.
Anyway, Cal finds the vault and BD-1, learning of the existence of the holocron and the dox on it. Bug-eyes wants to use the info to rebuild the Jedi Order but the only way to unlock the vault is to follow Cordova’s path and pass his tests. The group leaves Bogano and goes to the Zeffo homeworld, conveniently called Zeffo. The planet as home to a community of archaeologists during the Republic era but they were all killed when the Empire took over. The Empire was also attempting to pillage the planet, apparently at the behest of Palpatine. Cal goes to an ancient Zeffo tomb, which has automaton guardians built by the Zeffo, which are frighteningly resistant to lightsabers. But, so is everything in this game. In the tomb, Cal learns of a Wookie friend of Cordova’s named Tarrful that may have more info about the Zeffo. The gang then goes to Kashyyyk.
After a pretty cool scene that is relevant to the AT-AT discussion from earlier, in which multiple AT-ATs are attacking a proto-rebel stronghold by walking through extremely deep water, Cal meets Saw Gerrera from Rogue One.
View attachment 1053698
I honestly didn’t think is was Forest Whitaker doing the voice work, but apparently it was. The Wookies are hideous and are very clearly mo-capped humans with longer arms.
View attachment 1053699
Once in the Zeffo tomb, Cal fights the Second Sister again and learns that she was Bug-eyes’ Padawan who was captured, tortured and turned to the dark side after Bug-eyes gave the Empire her location. Cal barely survives the encounter and is shortly knocked out and captured by a bounty hunter. Cal wakes up and is forced to fight in a gladiator arena for a crime lord called Sorc Tormo. Tormo had Cal captured to get back at Grumpy pilot alien for some gambling debts. Bug-eyes and Grumpy save Cal after several waves of enemies. This part has my favorite song in the game from a Mongolian Hunnu Rock band.
View attachment 1053700
Tormo, his crime empire, and Grumpy’s gambling debts are never mentioned after this. Cal goes back to Kashyyyk and Tarrful tells him to go to the top of the Origin Tree, a big fuck-off tree that hasn’t been mentioned before Fallen Order if I’m not mistaken. Cal finds another recording telling him to find a McGuffin on Dathomir. He also fights and defeats the Ninth Sister’s Shrek lookin ass.
View attachment 1053701
Dathomir is where shit starts to fall apart IMO. Dathomir has a decent bit of connection to the main canon. Darth Maul is from here, Asaji Ventress is from here, the Rancor is from here, etc. Is any of this referenced or shown? No. What we get instead is a pathetic Joruus C’baoth rip-off, zombies, baby not-Rancor, PTSD, and a weird massive bird monster. We do get Tina Ivlev as Nightsister Merrin who can absolutely get it though. Anyway, Cal has a vision of his Master, Jaro Tapal, over his guilty feelings about his Master’s death and his lightsaber breaks. He goes to Ilum to get a new kyber crystal to rebuild his lightsaber and goes back to Dathomir. There’s a pretty cool flashback to the moment Order 66 is enacted and you get to see a Lasat Jedi shit all over some clone troopers. As Cal and Jaro are escaping, Jaro is shot a bunch and Cal REEEs; using his Force Stasis ability to temporarily freeze people and objects. Cal overcomes his guilt and fights the C’Baoth rip-off with Merrin. Afterwards, Cal fins the McGuffin and Merrin joins his crew on the ship. They go back to Bogano to unlock the vault, but Cal is attacked by the Second Sister, Bug-eyes’ old Padawan, again. She loses the fight but steals the holocron. Cal goes back to the ship and Bug-eyes literally knights him, like its Medieval Britain or something, with his lightsaber.
The group then attacks the Imperial Inquisitor headquarters in an underwater base on a moon called Nur. This planet is a nu-planet and apparently a moon of Mustafar. Cal and Bug-eyes infiltrate the base after Merrin magickally CLOAKS A WHOLE FUCKING SHIP while they’re in visual contact with like 4 Star Destroyers. Cal finds Sister 2 in the interrogation chamber and defeats her again, taking the holocron back. Bug-eyes tried to be friends but Vader shows up. Fuckyea. Vader immediately kills Sister 2 and yeets Bug-eyes into a bottomless pit. Cal runs and barely escapes Vader, but is surprised by Vader while trying to leave the base. Vader is shocked by BD-1 and this lets Cal get a small hit on Vader’s armor and they have a Force tug-of-war with Cals lightsaber. Vader stabs Cal in the chest with his saber and is about to kill him when Bug-eyes miraculously shows up. She fights Vader, who is only using one hand and loses her saber. Cere has a second where she embraces the Dark side but then Cal says stop it and she instead makes a Force-field that can stop lightsabers.
View attachment 1053702
Vader is about to break through it when Cal uses his saber to break a wall and flood the room, allowing them both to escape. There’s a Disney moment at the end where everyone is all friends now and Merrin makes a pass at Cal. Cal destroys the holocron because gathering the Force sensitive kids would make it easier for the Empire to find them and the story ends.
Characters:
View attachment 1053703
Cal: Cal is fine. He has an arc, even if he isn’t drastically different at the end of the game. He isn’t insufferable, he says some genuinely funny shit especially when solving puzzles. I don’t understand the implied depth of his connection to Bug-eyes. His interactions with BD-1 remind me of Luke and Artoo. There just seems to be a lot that is implied about his motivations and friendships. Like, yeah he’s the MC. Of course he’s friends with the other people, of course he’s gonna go on this whole quest to resurrect the Jedi Order. He’s in a weird place in the canon though. He is simultaneously really strong and really weak. He can freeze people in place for almost 10 whole seconds, but only knows how to push and pull. He is proficient in single bladed, dual bladed, and dual wielded lightsaber combat, as well as how to construct and modify lightsabers on the fly, but has difficulty taking down a few stormtroopers. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that earlier. Cal gets a double bladed lightsaber, and later is able to separate both parts to dual wield. TMK that hasn’t been done in the EU or Disney canon. He did effectively stop his Jedi training when he was like 13-14, but that seems like a weird skill set to have at that age. There are some cool scripted scenes where he is being depicted envisioning himself as the new top dog in the Jedi Order with a bunch of Younglings calling him Master Kestis and stuff, but they never expand on that more selfish part of him.
View attachment 1053704
Bug-eyes: Cool concept for a character. The corrupted Jedi who betrayed her order and Padawan. But I really don’t like Debra Wilson in the role. Her model is really creepy looking. Which is weird because Merrin and Cal’s models look pretty good. I’d have loved Niko Coster-Waldeau, or if you have to have a woman of color, Angela Bassett would be cash.
View attachment 1053705
Merrin: Hot alien girl. Doesn’t really have much of an arc. She starts off wanting to murder Cal and anyone who isn’t a Nightsister/brother, but comes around when Cal shows her everyone who isn’t like you isn’t bad. Then she suddenly has a thing for Cal. They don’t do anything with that, and she never leaves the ship to help you.
View attachment 1053706
Grumpy: He’s the gruff, wisecracking captain with a heart of gold who really cares for his friends trope. Except he’s a nu-alien. I don’t mind his design too much, and there’s plenty of jokes about his extra arms. He’s fine but doesn’t serve the plot worth a damn.
View attachment 1053707
BD-1: I actually really like him. I don’t know if that’s actually because he has good interaction with Cal all throughout the game (there’s a button that is never referenced that you can press at anytime during gameplay to have a little exchange between Cal and BD), or what. He’s a damn sight better than BB-8. He does have a metric fuck-ton of utility for such a small droid that weirdly can’t actually talk, but I excuse some of it for the sake of the gameplay.
Canon:
How does this fuck with the canon. Well first, lightsabers seem incredibly weak in this game. At first, I excused it for a gameplay concern, but even in the cutscenes they’re weak. And then at the same time, they’ll have the same insane levels of power and utility that they’ve been shown to have in the books and movies. It’s really weird.
View attachment 1053708
Now the Zeffo. According to the in-game info,
GeneralFriendliness and I talked about this a bit, and I thought that the Zeffo were a remnant of the game that Fallen Order was before it became Fallen Order. Respawn, the developer, has been working on this game since 2014 apparently and only made it a Jedi focused Star Wars story at Disney’s insistence. Now I think that Disney wanted to make their own version of the Precursors/Kathol/Old Ones etc. The Zeffo don’t seem to be THAT old and their story is left very vague and open ended. Additionally, if you removed the Zeffo from the story completely and had Cal going to JEDI tombs/temples instead of ZEFFO tombs/temples to find the clues from Cordova, literally nothing would change. I don’t know. The Zeffo haven’t appeared in anything other than the Fallen Order game and comic book, but Fallen Order is considered canon, so they have to be there for some reason or other.
That’s all I have for right now. If I think of anything else I’ll add it. Feel free to ask questions too. You can find a link to a cracked torrent for the game below if you wanna play it on PC.
Star Wars Jedi Fallen Order-CODEX - SKiDROW CODEX
DESCRIPTION CHECK UPDATE SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS SCREENSHOT TRAILER NFO A galaxy-spanning adventure awaits in Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order, a new third-person action-adventure title from Respawn Entertainment. This narratively driven, single-player game puts you in the role of a Jedi Padawan who...
The Zeffo thing didn't really even occur to me but, yeah basically everything with the Zeffo could be replaced with Jedi stuff and story would minimally change. I guess I was intersted in the Zeffo lore so I just didn't notice. It was actually pretty fun to find few bits and pieces about the Zeffo and putting it all together as you go. That is where the game seems to drop the ball entirely in the end however since they basically tell you everything about the Zeffo and there is very little mystery left about them in the end.
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2017
That was a great but bold scene for a kids movie. In terms of cinematography, it would've belonged in a Saw-type movie or a Nolan Batman better than a Pixar one.
Yeah, they threw in as much more footage of him as possible after the fact, even though he had no writing or story for the most part. People just really dug the costume.
Although, the man underneath the mask...
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2014
There's a rumor going around that Ahsoka is in Episode 9.
.....Played by Brie Larson.
Is any of this real?
Are all of you another violent, Brianna Wu-induced hallucination and in reality I died sometime during my review of Bomber Bother?
.....Played by Brie Larson.
Is any of this real?
Are all of you another violent, Brianna Wu-induced hallucination and in reality I died sometime during my review of Bomber Bother?
- Joined
- May 25, 2013
The name Atari will remain an eternal cockroach.
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2019
Atari VCS™ - Game, Stream, Connect
Atari® returns to the living room with the Atari VCS™ — a completely modern gaming and video computer system, blending the best of consoles and PCs to delight a whole new generation of gamers and creators.
atarivcs.com
ATARI WHY DO YOU STILL EXIST
- Joined
- May 25, 2013
As far as I understand the ip of the name Atari has changed hands like at least a half dozen times by this point.I didn’t know this existed, but Atari is making an open source gaming and streaming device?Atari VCS™ - Game, Stream, Connect
Atari® returns to the living room with the Atari VCS™ — a completely modern gaming and video computer system, blending the best of consoles and PCs to delight a whole new generation of gamers and creators.
ATARI WHY DO YOU STILL EXIST