I intended this as a little Merry Holidaymas present to all us Jake fanatics. Originally I was going to just update some of the info in the summary posts and touch them up but then I watched some of
@Null's lolcow streams including on Jake and rethought how I was going to do this. Especially since Hellfire had already done such a bang up job and inspired by the streams notions of celebration I wanted to try and explain why Jake remains compelling at least to me. So I never intended this to perfectly line up with him sperging about his identity and at first I was somewhat displeased especially since I had to do some editing but now it works out. I still see this as a draft and would like to yon request if yon all would make suggestions (and corrections), yon can most definitely savage it. The "claims" list at the end is a work in progress, I was going to organize them better into topics so I could condense them (like all the pedophile accusations could be one even if it's not as funny for the punchline) and I also totally did not go through the entire thread for them but I've still been adding them randomly especially today, feel free to suggest more. (I realize now that I most should have been linking them all.) That's also why the credits at the end cut off as I wanted to skim more pages to credit more of our researchers. Anyway, this is too good of time to not sit on it anymore and put the pictures and formatting in here and post it:
Violet Hargrave's Fan Guide to SecretGamerGrrl aka Violet Cassandra Ocean/Jake Alley aka Googleshng
"Hatred breeds in the stagnant waters of ignorance" - Jake Alley, as quoted by his mother
EDIT: 2020 UPDATE: As confirmed by
@zedkissed60 he changed his name to Violet Cassandra Ocean and moved to an apartment in New London at some point, likely in mid-2019. He will remain "Jake" in this post because I am totally not going through and editing them all. I have updated the six questions however.
Who? SecretGamerGrrl aka Jake Alley aka Googleshng (2020 UPDATE: aka Violet Cassandra Ocean)
What? Depending on how you roll your character either an investigative journalist who is an expert on terrorism and also an indie game designer who fools onlookers into believing she is a woman or a fat male NEET nearing 40 who lives with his mother. (2020 UPDATE: Lives in an apartment.)
Where? Twitter and if tweeting 99.99% chance is currently located in the attic of the house at 11 W End Ave in Niantic, Connecticut, United States of America. (2020 UPDATE: Now 99.999% chance is located at: 35 Union St #315, New London, CT)
When? Jacob Lawrence Alley: June 9, 1981-2019; Googleshng: 1997-Present; SecretGamerGrrl: 2014-Present. (2020 UPDATE: Violet Cassandra Ocean: 2019-Present.)
How? Mostly through the Twitter home page. Some Tumblr usage.
Why? Because God loves us and wants us to be happy.
This will be more of an answer to "why does this young woman have such a large following here" than a recounting of The Total and Complete History of Jake Alley. Once you've decided that you too wish to become a follower of the Jake Alley Story you can get yourself up to speed through this
masterful chronology written by Hellfire which covers Jake's humble beginnings as a RPG fan onto his reinvention as a trans Gamergate warrior to the collapse of his entire "world" into Troon Twitter. We'll touch on some of this below to explain the fascination but for the most details be sure to venture to said chronology.
Jake likely would not have ever been picked up as a lolcow even though his earlier existence as Googleshng (an account he continues to post under on Talking Time forum) is fairly amusing, rather what eventually led to this thread was when the most important event of the last thousand years occurred: Gamergate.
For whatever reason, Jake viewed Gamergate as an existential threat to humanity and decided that he knew the best course of action to fight against this threat. Sign up on Twitter as SecretGamerGrrl and use the display name "Secret Gamer Girl" and the display icon of a creepy little girl shushing. Then head forth to argue with anyone who said anything supportive of Gamergate while defending the honor of victims like Zoe Quinn and Brianna Wu. (Anita not so much.)
SecretGamerGrrl existed for roughly two years on Twitter before she received a thread here. Within just a few pages they were doxed and revealed to be Jake Alley of Niantic, CT. This likely would have seen the whole thing fade into irrelevance except Jake had a clever move up his sleeve. As a result ever since SecretGamerGrrl has steadfastly refused to acknowledge being doxed. Even as their actions have continued to pile up evidence that the account is actually run by Jake Alley of Niantic, CT as the coincidences in their life experiences being exactly the same are simply too many to be anyone else. From time to time the SecretGamerGrrl account lies about the data contained in the doxing here, proclaims it to be an innocent man they are concerned about, and also claims that the dox within this thread has led to Nazi attempts on their life. I'm going to quickly move past this section because you now expect this kind of thing on the internet but we should first bask in a few more pictures of this young woman:
These last pictures are unique and requires comment in that it was at GaymerX East 2017, a convention where pronoun tags are commonplace. In all pictures of this event, Jake Alley has his turned around (or his hand covering it) so as to not be visible. This is also a key instance of Jake Alley claiming this is not SecretGamerGrrl despite another rash of improbable coincidences this creates. Including the fact that SecretGamerGrrl posted this about it all while claiming the Jake Alley listed on all the panels was a different person:
SecretGamerGrrl said:
I went to an LGBT-focused gaming convention not too long ago, presenting in as masculine a fashion as you can imagine, with a big shiny "She/Her" ribbon hanging off my ID badge, and not once was I so much as accidentally misgendered.
I still felt like some kind of horrible confusing fraud the whole time of course, but that was 100% internal.
BREAKING KIWI REPORTING: Crystal Frasier confirms that these are "pre-transition" photos of SecretGamerGrrl aka Jake Alley:
The Mystery
This continued denial through fanciful stories and complicated lies about not being completely and utterly doxed and the related submysteries are the hook that continues to push the SecretGamerGrrl/Jake Alley/Googleshng saga into an extensively beloved lore. This is because at roughly the same general time that Jake was being doxed here for somewhat unrelated reasons, a set of three entirely coincidental events were coming to a head and reshaped the then 35 year old man's world. First, he was betrayed by Zoe Quinn and left to die on the street. Second, he chose to subsume himself into the Rat King and Troon Twitter in general permanently. And lastly, Donald Trump was assisted by the Russians who started Gamergate into stealing the Presidency proving the need for Jake's investigative journalism on Gamergate terrorism. Each of these have spawned the three key submysteries that have helped Jake's thread to reach over a thousand pages after a relatively more normal pace early on.
Jake's relentless Twitter warfare against Gamergate got him invited onto the secret Spec Ops team of anti-Gamergate resistance fighters that eventually transitioned into Zoe Quinn's Crash Override Network. Jake came to believe that this gathering of tards and specifically his "job" of reading Gamergate threads on 8chan and Twitter all day would lead to not only the defeat of Gamergate (through prosecution of key members) but his becoming wealthy and obtaining a magical potion that would transform him from a "hulking brute" (Jake's words) into a "small non-threatening girl" (also Jake's words) and has since suggested that Zoe Quinn herself had promised him this. In retelling Jake has described the entire purpose of Crash Override Network as defending and providing for "unemployed trans women" even though Zoe Quinn, albeit a grifter who likely did overpromise something to get these idiots to work in her interest however briefly, is unlikely to have ever seen it as such let alone made such an absurd promise publicly. CON slowly fell apart, Jake sided with the wrong people in internal drama and almost assuredly everyone involved eventually discovered that SecretGamerGrrl was Jake Alley.
Jake has never truly forgiven Zoe Quinn for this set of events which she probably had very little to actually do with no matter what kind of scam she was running. At one end of his emotions he expresses anger; claiming she stabbed him in the back and was an abuser even though they do not seem to have interacted even all that much online, let alone in real life, unlike Jake's interactions with other members of the group. (A brief note: no one else, even those with potentially legitimate grudges against Quinn/CON seem to support Jake's version of events, especially the "offer" he imagines.) On the other end he claims it's all due to made up misunderstandings that unnamed whisper networks used to convince yon fair maiden into believing that Jake was actually a racist terrorist leader. He has written a number of instances of his own "Zoe Posts" that all indicate the same thing: it was Jake's fault. Zoe simply ignores him. His answer to this has been to spend over three straight years on Twitter begging people to explain the "misunderstanding" to Zoe, suicide baiting to get Zoe to respond to him, being incomprehensibly vague in attempts to get Zoe (or others) to respond and occasionally getting fed up and denouncing the abuser. He claims to have never told the story even though, as per usual, he has pretty much told almost every aspect of the story except a few connecting details.
The Mystery: What exactly Jake believes to have happened and if there was literally anything other than people blocking him for being Jake. Also, to some extent, what Jake believes will be "reversed" if his "friends" returned to responding to him on Twitter even though especially in Zoe's case their interests have massively diverged from Jake's in the three years since. Oh and what the fuck his deal with Zoe Quinn of all people is.
The Long Night Of Trooning
Jake's desire to transition into a woman isn't very special, especially not for the people in this section or elsewhere on the forum. What is special is Jake's understanding of all of this and how it all works. Think of how bad the troons on here in general do not understand science. Now eliminate all that knowledge and you have Jake Alley's understanding.
Jake initially believed that he was a hermaphrodite and that the doctor concealed this from his mother. At some point this changed into him actually being a woman but having a glandular disorder which caused him to be the male you see above. This later altered slightly into an endocrine disorder. Both were correctable with simple over the counter supplements although Jake never took these. Jake does not believe that chromosomes can determine ones gender, only the endocrine system can. At some point in late 2018 he began applying estradiol gel to his crotch and immediately began transforming into a woman indistinguishable from someone born as a woman. Until mid-2019 Jake adamantly insisted that HRT was the only thing needed to transition, that surgery of any kind was a bigot myth and all that was needed to transform into a woman was HRT which the body would respond to by reconfiguring itself properly. He continues to claim that transgender women cannot be told apart by the average person from regular women. Part of Jake's surgery factoids perhaps were related to his almost fearful discussion of what he would call The Surgery, more commonly known as SRS. At some point in mid-2019 he switched and became desperate to have The Surgery nearly immediately but was stymied because of "arbitrary" BMI requirements by uninformed doctors who would not perform it on Jake until he dropped under 280lbs.
Literally nothing that Jake has posted indicates he has done anything to transition. Other than maybe smeared that gel on his crotch. He claims in late 2019 that he passes completely with shoulder length red hair, freckles and the lusty attention of men. Yet he seemingly remains the only Troon on Twitter that doesn't post fifty selfies a day about how cute they are. The only image Jake has ever shared is of a painted fingernail. He's claimed to have gone out in revealing, and even sheer, clothing in the dead of winter showing off his new female body. This is despite other claims that he has no idea how to acquire clothing made for women due to having no female friends willing to take him shopping leading to him whining about having no female or winter clothing. This is not to mention that none of his understanding of how actual instances of transitioning or even just trooning works in the real world. In 2019 he also wrote a "fact checking" guide about transwomen that repeats many of the hordes of inaccurate claims he has made over the years despite his following of many many Twitter troons who can at least repeat the talking points. Jake continues to lament his body hair problem that he cannot figure out how to get rid of.
The Mystery: What the lies actually stand-in for. Jake's compulsive lying has a hilarious tic in which he cannot just lie as he has no real world experience with most things and interacts with literally nobody so he cannot simply overexaggerate real world events like most people on Twitter. It has to be tied to some actual thing that happened to him which causes the whole thing to collapse. For example, regarding Thanksgiving recently he claims a number of his family bigots constantly screamed his deadname over and over at him. In other words a bunch of family members attempted to get Jake's attention because he's Jake Alley. There's also the small question of just how far in real life Jake has taken this transition desire, has he even mentioned it to anyone beyond his mother? Or his therapist? (He has claimed to cut ties with past therapists for their misgendering.) Why not just troon out like a "normal" person on Twitter?
Investigative Journalist and Terrorism Expert
This is perhaps the ideal Jake "mystery" thread. It in many ways encapsulates everything that is the Jake experience. Delusions of grandeur, complete ignorance about subjects, mindbending laziness, self-inflicted damage, etc. The entire thing is one big "The Mystery" when you lift the cover page.
After failing as a game developer and with his extensive research files on Gamergate that he had compiled from reading 8chan Jake decided that he was an investigative journalist (with two decades experience as he counts his time reviewing RPGs as a young adult) with a specialty on researching terrorism. This has been the theme of everything he has ever "published" officially since adopting the SecretGamerGrrl persona. Where has this prominent journalist been published? Initially his Storify. Except he failed to back up any of it when the site went down. He's also had articles published on completely obscure websites once each. This creates one of the most baffling aspects of this particular mystery. Jake basically has three articles written under his pen name of "Violet Hargrave" (a name that took him 18 months to choose after deciding he should use a pen name) yet he still considers himself a professional writer with his main "profession" as investigative journalist. Even more baffling he quite regularly writes article length tweet threads (known to the thread as Googleshngs) and then just leaves them on Twitter. And during all of this his Patreon has and continues to promise two articles per week published to his Storify. Rather than vomiting this all onto Twitter he could write these as articles and self-publish them somewhere and instantly create some kind of support for his ludicrous claim as to being an investigative journalist. Along with a number of potential side benefits to actually pursuing this work.
But he doesn't. In fact, even more than the above two mysteries this one is extra baffling because he already produces the content he just does nothing with it. The extent of his laziness and self-inflicted damage is such that his main place of "business" both the SecretGamerGrrl Twitter and Patreon accounts DO NOT mention his pen name of Violet Hargrave without extensive searching. Nor does the SecretGamerGrrl Tumblr which is the one place he actually does seem to throw up random ramblings from time to time. His failure to hold onto this brand (even though he maintains to this day the website for World Domination LLC, his failed board game career that he now claims has totally nothing to do with him over a decade after it left him (and SecretGamerGrrl) with tens of thousands of debt) extends to everything else you can think of. SecretGamerGrrl.com, SecretGamerGirl.com and VioletHargrave.com all remain available for purchase. Despite LARPing as Violet Hargrave for nearly three years, and living his entire life on Twitter all day long, the VioletHargrave Twitter account remained available until October 2019 when
@AirdropShitposts randomly registered it out of curiosity. Literally overnight his entire pen name, that he has also used on a handful of tabletop RPG modules, can be stripped from him and ruined with almost literally no effort from a troll.
The Mystery: Why any of this has become his self-image, and maybe the biggest mystery of all, how it gets him nearly $800 a month on Patreon despite his failure to not only do it but to update the Patreon description of what it is he's not doing.
Further Research Locations
Hellfire's Near Comprehensive Jake Alley Chronology Through April 2019
Mad At The Internet - Intro To Secret Gamer Girl
Archive.org: Lolcow Wiki - Jake Alley
Done's September 2018 Jake Lawrence Alley Summary
Patreon Leak identifies SecretGamerGrrl as Jake Alley
https://www.twitter.com/SecretGamerGrrl
https://secretgamergirl.tumblr.com/
Things that SecretGamerGrrl aka Jake Alley claims that may or may not be true:
-He has never been doxed.
-Stalkers/Nazis have forced him from his home multiple times.
-Chromosomes have nothing to do with gender, the endocrine system determines it.
-He is a professional writer.
-He is a professional game designer.
-He is a freelance journalist with 2 decades of experience.
-If he were to appear on TV the chryon would say "Terrorism Expert"
-He was a professional video game reviewer.
-He lives in a one-room apartment.
-He needs $1000 a month so he can move into his own apartment.
-He lives with his mother.
-He lives with an unnamed abuser.
-He lives alone.
-He is constantly on the verge of homelessness.
-He is constantly on the verge of starvation.
-He is constantly on the verge of having no electricity or heat.
-He lives hours away from any restaurants or stores and even civilization itself.
-He lives in a ghost town.
-Doctors could not tell his gender at birth.
-He has a disability that slows his reflexes and prevents him from making facial expressions.
-People fawn over his body when he appears in public.
-He wears the same clothes he did twenty years ago.
-He is developing curves and becoming voluptuous.
-His high school attempted to withhold his diploma despite being a straight A student because he was too poor to look good in school pictures.
-The fat in his body redistributes itself regularly throughout the day.
-He will commit suicide.
-He has medical appointments from 9-5 every weekday.
-His mother is transphobic and will kick him out for coming out. (This has occurred multiple times.)
-He thought he was "prime blackmailing material" and was upset that Ron Marmolejo did not sexually harass him like other "vulnerable women."
-He has tried to commit suicide with a toaster in the bathtub but Suicide Prevention Cat saved the day.
-He desperately needs a new passport with the gender listed as female.
-People want him dead.
-People want to rape him.
-He has been (a little bit) sexually assaulted.
-His dad took him to a strip club at age eight to try and man him up.
-He does not know how to buy clothes on his own.
-Gifting things from his Amazon wishlist will help with becoming self-employed.
-Twitter blocklists are the cause of his unemployment.
-Whisper campaigns are the cause of his unemployment.
-A simple misunderstanding is the cause of whisper campaigns and Twitter blocklists.
-He has PTSD from looking at 8chan.
-He regularly has to educate his therapists on basic information.
-His issues are too scary/traumatic for his therapists.
-He has no idea why anyone has blocked him or refuses to talk to him.
-He is blacklisted from much of the film industry.
-He has had speaking engagements on terrorism issues cancelled because he is too controversial.
-Twitter is run by Nazis.
-He can't remember when he was last "safe enough to sleep through the night or just make a phone call."
-People are writing letters to his friends and employers to smear him.
-People he's talked to mostly on Twitter are actual friends. Also they explicitly hate him.
-He sleeps with one eye open next to a bug out bag.
-He will write two Storify's a week despite the site having gone defunct two years ago.
-Stalkers are preventing him from receiving health care, but he still is not doxed.
-He works 9 to 5 every day seeing social workers and correcting paperwork errors.
-Trans people do not have facial surgery, this is a bigot myth.
-Trans people actually have facial surgery but it is only minor when hormones do not work correctly.
-Trans women do not have any sort of "surgical penis removal, because THAT IS NOT A THING"
-He has, in a separate event from prior ones, moved to a new address due to a Twitter threat, he remains undoxed.
-Jesse Singal killed his career.
-Graham Linehan was a friend who became a terrorist.
-He was robbed, but it was merely the principle of the thing and he would have given it to the person if they asked.
-He receives food stamps.
-He does not have a drivers license or car. But he would live in a car if he had one.
-He has had extended periods where he did not have a safe or secure place to live.
-Zoe Quinn wants him dead.
-He rubs estradiol gel on his crotch.
-He would travel to New York City at any moment to meet a girl.
-Donald Trump is a self-admitted pedophile.
-Mark Kern is a pedophile.
-Frederick "hotwheels" Brennan is a pedophile.
-Mike Cernovich is a pedophile.
-Notch is a pedophile.
-Transphobes are pedophiles.
-Eron Gjoni is a pedophile.
-Sarah Nyberg is not a pedophile.
-He has never accused anyone of pedophilia without proof.
-Fascists were standing in front of his house, he remains undoxed.
-He has tried to "make a new start and get away from this."
-Most people cannot tell if someone is transgender or not just from looking at them.
-An old man told him his hair reminds him of his daughters.
-People told Zoe Quinn that he is a terrorist and a racist.
-"PHYSICALLY though? Nah. Gimme a good 5 years on HRT, a couple minor surgeries, vigorous hair removal treatments, a fix for my receded hairline, and a basic regimine of good diet, exercise, and proper makeup tips and I'd be a smoking hot middle aged woman nobody would ever guess was trans."
-Maria MacLachlan is an attempted murderer.
-Minecraft is a neo-Nazi recruitment tool.
-Brad Wardell sponsored a violent terrorist group.
-Gamergate wants to rape his corpse.
-He has received threats from "sources that seem positioned to actually make good on them" despite continuing to be undoxed.
-The Niantic Fire Department has a habit of destroying the mailboxes of transwomen.
-He has ingrown and infection prone wisdom teeth.
-His anonymity is the only thing keeping him alive and able to speak.
-Trans women have been drinking pregnant mare urine (known under the brand name Premarin) since the 1200s.
-
This comic was created by Gamergate to smear Sarah Nyberg.
-KAMEN RIDER
-Notch never worked in his life, just stole other people's ideas.
-Trump blackmailed reporters to get positive coverage during the 2016 election.
-Twitter makes him want to kill himself.
-Donald Trump raped a child.
-A unnamed female games writer ruined his career.
-He has powerful enemies.
-He has gone to the hospital for defending people from Gamergate.
-"Tankies" is a term from MMOs.
-His mother defaced his social security card.
-He is an inert lump.
-No one delivers pizza to his mom's house.
-Every single woman he knew including himself was contemplating suicide rather than live under Trump.
-He has to have a fight with his mom and come up with an alibi whenever a car or mail shows up for him.
-He needed a properly Female gendered passport before January 20, 2017 or he was in danger and it had to be done in secret or he was also in danger from his mother finding out.
-Random shady dudes cat call him.
-Random shady dudes follow him home and jump on the elevator to make small talk.
-The Kiwi Farms thinks he's Sailor Bubba because it was posted in his thread. Sailor Bubba remains a more passing woman despite not intending so.
-He has shoulder length red hair and freckles.
-His Twitter and e-mail accounts are regularly DDoSed.
-He still has not been doxed.
-When he was a child, other children would punch him in the face, kick him in the kidneys, sic dogs on him, and tie him up and throw him down ravines. (They knew he was trans.)
-Thanks to his magic transformation potion he has "double-girl skin" but also thinner skin and yet thicker skin as well. Thus needing sweaters and also being too hot like most women.
-He is too fat for surgery.
-His abs are coming in nicely.
-He has spent two years dieting and exercising.
-He just started exercising in December 2019.
-Ian Miles Cheong tried to have him killed.
Top Jake Alley Research Fellows include (but are not limited to)
@Hellfire,
@repentance,
@CyrusKissFanClub,
@Done,
@Chan the Wizard,
@Jaimas,
@D.Va,
@Yellow Yam Scam,
@chimpburgers
