Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Cyril Sneer]

Fuck it, I know the Vong isn't liked here... but I largely liked the New Jedi Order series. But not without issues of my own. Sometimes they went too far and made decisions that I felt was stupid. But in some strange alternate universe where I was given the power to reboot the EU, I probably would have had the cut-off point at the Hand of Thrawn duology.

The NJO certainly isn't perfect (there is, admittedly, quite a bit of rubbish, much of it involving the always-aggravating Jacen Solo), but there were so many amazing moments in that series that absolutely deserve to be put onscreen: The reveal of Elegos A'Kla's bejeweled skeleton, Corran Horn's duel with Shedao Shai, the Jedi commando raid on Myrkyr, the fall of Coruscant, Threepio outwitting a group of Vong warriors with only his communication abilities, Ganner Rhysode's last stand, the severely wounded Grand Admiral Pellaeon directing the Imperial Remnant fleet from inside a bacta tank, the New Republic-crewed Super Star Destroyer Lusankya accidentally coming out of hyperspace in the middle of a Yuuzhan Vong taskforce...and then immediately opening up with every one of its thousands of turbolaser batteries, the reveal of Zonama Sekot, the Mandalorians liberating Caluula Station...

I definitely would've ended the direct, movie-timeline-continuation EU with The Unifying Force, though. As much as many people argue that the NJO felt like it erased all of the accomplishments of the main cast over the course of the EU up to that point, I think that the remaining books published under Del Rey's imprint (AKA The Further Adventures of Darth Jacen) were where things really started to go off the rails (I mean, maybe it wasn't, strictly speaking, outside of the realm of possibility for the galaxy to devolve into another major war, but with the Yuuzhan Vong invasion so recent in memory, it really felt to me more like conflict for the sake of selling books rather than an organic development of in-universe politics).

I could forgive NJO if they hadn't destroyed so many of my favorite planets and killed so many characters. I mean they even thought about killing Kyle Katarn at one point and that's just unforgivable to even think of such a thing. Also I wanted Anakin Solo to be the next gen of Chosen One and fight his brother...

Not saying I'd want to adapt the NJO verbatim, but I think the basic plot of a war with a culture that's completely alien and inimical to basically everything and everyone on the GFFA is a very good one. I really liked the later books where they tried to show things from the Vong's perspective, how incomprehensible they found everything in the Galaxy in comparison with their own bizarre and unsettling practices and technology, how they were utterly convinced that they were the good guys and that their invasion was a noble crusade, rather than a genocidal jihad.

I had so many beefs with NJO, but now those beefs feel like nothing compared to Disney... Just fuck my shit up. Disney how could you fucking do this?!

Feels bad, man...

Make the new enemy something to fear and respect; too many times have the First Order (What a shitty name, call it something cooler like the Empire Resurrected, or ResPire) fucked up blatantly, and then all of a sudden grow "competent" when the plot demands it. In this new trilogy, make it that the enemy means BUSINESS; they blow up or take over multiple star systems, really dig themselves deep and show that they have the balls and power to do such things. Don't SAY that they can do this, actually showcase the foe's prowess in conquest. From there, tell a tale of resistance against an all encompassing enemy, one the likes of which the Galaxy has never fought before.

I think antagonistic Empires are a little over-played in SW at this point. I mean, we've got, what? The Galactic Empire, the Infinite Empire, the Old Sith Empire, the New Sith Empire, the One Sith Empire...the only one I'll give a pass to is the Felpire by virtue of not being head-bonkingly evil and for having the groovy Imperial Knights.

You can unironically thank Obama for that, he came in promising to fix the Great Recession and 8 years of Bush and turned out to be the personification of woke neoliberalism, so all the spurned exceptional individuals that bought it hook line and sinker became convinced peaceful reform was impossible and unironic communism is the only way. But enough about that, we're here to watch the Fall of Skywalker in real time.

And now he's considered irrelevant for being too conservative by the standards of The Current Year...

 

[Love Machine]

Wait did I miss something? Why did null hide the thread from public view.

Speaking of Palpatine, here's something I found on /tg/ .View attachment 1054589

I think @Shmuckleburg's /tg/ post may be on to something. Palpatine is the only who wins out in any of this (except the part where Rey fucks his shit up a la Korra), like a fucking chaos demon gone rogue.


Well we know all the main characters are straight as arrows now. Which means either JJ is a baiting woke bullshitter or Dr. Aphra's ship really does appear in this movie or you only see two ambiguous fags hugging in the background.

 

[Creep3r]

The NJO certainly isn't perfect (there is, admittedly, quite a bit of rubbish, much of it involving the always-aggravating Jacen Solo), but there were so many amazing moments in that series that absolutely deserve to be put onscreen: The reveal of Elegos A'Kla's bejeweled skeleton, Corran Horn's duel with Shedao Shai, the Jedi commando raid on Myrkyr, the fall of Coruscant, Threepio outwitting a group of Vong warriors with only his communication abilities, Ganner Rhysode's last stand, the severely wounded Grand Admiral Pellaeon directing the Imperial Remnant fleet from inside a bacta tank, the New Republic-crewed Super Star Destroyer Lusankya accidentally coming out of hyperspace in the middle of a Yuuzhan Vong taskforce...and then immediately opening up with every one of its thousands of turbolaser batteries, the reveal of Zonama Sekot, the Mandalorians liberating Caluula Station...

I definitely would've ended the direct, movie-timeline-continuation EU with The Unifying Force, though. As much as many people argue that the NJO felt like it erased all of the accomplishments of the main cast over the course of the EU up to that point, I think that the remaining books published under Del Rey's imprint (AKA The Further Adventures of Darth Jacen) were where things really started to go off the rails (I mean, maybe it wasn't, strictly speaking, outside of the realm of possibility for the galaxy to devolve into another major war, but with the Yuuzhan Vong invasion so recent in memory, it really felt to me more like conflict for the sake of selling books rather than an organic development of in-universe politics).

Not saying I'd want to adapt the NJO verbatim, but I think the basic plot of a war with a culture that's completely alien and inimical to basically everything and everyone on the GFFA is a very good one. I really liked the later books where they tried to show things from the Vong's perspective, how incomprehensible they found everything in the Galaxy in comparison with their own bizarre and unsettling practices and technology, how they were utterly convinced that they were the good guys and that their invasion was a noble crusade, rather than a genocidal jihad.

Feels bad, man...

I think antagonistic Empires are a little over-played in SW at this point. I mean, we've got, what? The Galactic Empire, the Infinite Empire, the Old Sith Empire, the New Sith Empire, the One Sith Empire...the only one I'll give a pass to is the Felpire by virtue of not being head-bonkingly evil and for having the groovy Imperial Knights.

And now he's considered irrelevant for being too conservative by the standards of The Current Year...

Don't get me wrong. I had a lot of beefs with NJO (still do) and I disagree with the execution of the Vong a lot, but my issue is more with the execution of the story rather than the premise. The idea of the Galaxy fighting an evil force of invaders from the void is one that's definitely interesting but needed better execution, and instead of having multiple authors work on that shit, keep it under just one author for more consistency. And don't nuke fan favorite things and kill at random if you want to make deaths seem more meaningful rather than for shock value. And for all that I've said about Vong in this thread, I like their organic tech and culture, and I like those creepy brain computers they had, the Yammosk. Its like Mindflayer Elder Brains but a hundred times more fucked up, dangerous and evil. But personally, I feel like a better choice for extra galactic invaders would've been the robotic overlords that enslaved the Vong who come to the galaxy to destroy and enslave organic life.

He'll be back...because no one is ever really gone.

Its a never ending pool of madness. Even the Sith Emperor from KOTOR would be amazed at all this death-defying bullshit.

Reminder to newfag arrivals:
The plot of Plan IX is on page 1023.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-...-about-last-jedi.32492/page-1023#post-5728521
For those interested in Galaxy's Edge info, shit's covered on page 499 and onward.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-...y-about-last-jedi.32492/page-499#post-4776843
For those interested in the worst DisneyEU novel, go to the Chuck Wendig thread, somewhere around page 10 for chapter screencaps.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chuck-wendig-charles-wendig-terribleminds.48930/page-10
For a detailed breakdown of box office info for every Disney Wars film, plus statistics, analytical shit, and China's relation to Disney Wars profits, see page 633.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-...y-about-last-jedi.32492/page-633#post-5227376
For those interested in where all the Hellish leaks started, it was on page 377.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-wars-griefing-thread-formerly-about-last-jedi.32492/page-377

 

[verissimus]

I hope Sheev does the impossible becomes a Sith force ghost and fucks with Rey for the rest of her life.

...you know I wouldn't mind Ghost Nappa/Palpatine that much.

 

[Cpl. Long Dong Silver]

You know outsiders have dogged fans for making Jake Lloyd want to kill himself.

Then we allegedly cyberbullied Hayden Christensen.

Oh and don't forget Ahmad Best wanted to suck start a shotgun because people hated Jar Jar.

I think alot of that was embellished, but to the shill journalists I want you to know I hope Daisy "Horseteeth" Ridley necks herself at her earliest convenience.

To quote that fetal alcohol eco Swede "you have stolen my childhood and my future". Fuck you Daisy. Fuck you for ruining the legacy of a great hero and his bloodline. Rot in hell bitch.

 

[Optimus Prime]

Speaking of, is anyone even watching the red carpet bullshit? Have there been any unexpected comments from the cast or some embarrassing moments?

A friend is giving me play by plays

- Mark Hamil looks like he wants to stop living
- JJ Abrams has the guiltiest worried face possible on a human face, meaning he knows the film is awful.
- Kathleen Kennedy is quite possibly insane
- fucking Merry from LOTR showed up for some reason almost to just throw shade on how shit this all is

 

[Cyril Sneer]

You know outsiders have dogged fans for making Jake Lloyd want to kill himself.

Then we allegedly cyberbullied Hayden Christensen.

Oh and don't forget Ahmad Best wanted to suck start a shotgun because people hated Jar Jar.

I think alot of that was embellished, but to the shill journalists I want you to know I hope Daisy "Horseteeth" Ridley necks herself at her earliest convenience.

To quote that fetal alcohol eco Swede "you have stolen my childhood and my future". Fuck you Daisy. Fuck you for ruining the legacy of a great hero and his bloodline. Rot in hell bitch.

If the Lucas trilogies were the Jedi Order, and Daisy Ridley (bear with me here) was Darth Vader, Kathleen Kennedy would be Palpatine.

fucking Merry from LOTR showed up for some reason almost to just throw shade on how shit this all is

That's actually kind of beautiful.

 

[Kane Lives]

The NJO certainly isn't perfect (there is, admittedly, quite a bit of rubbish, much of it involving the always-aggravating Jacen Solo), but there were so many amazing moments in that series that absolutely deserve to be put onscreen: The reveal of Elegos A'Kla's bejeweled skeleton, Corran Horn's duel with Shedao Shai, the Jedi commando raid on Myrkyr, the fall of Coruscant, Threepio outwitting a group of Vong warriors with only his communication abilities, Ganner Rhysode's last stand, the severely wounded Grand Admiral Pellaeon directing the Imperial Remnant fleet from inside a bacta tank, the New Republic-crewed Super Star Destroyer Lusankya accidentally coming out of hyperspace in the middle of a Yuuzhan Vong taskforce...and then immediately opening up with every one of its thousands of turbolaser batteries, the reveal of Zonama Sekot, the Mandalorians liberating Caluula Station...

I definitely would've ended the direct, movie-timeline-continuation EU with The Unifying Force, though. As much as many people argue that the NJO felt like it erased all of the accomplishments of the main cast over the course of the EU up to that point, I think that the remaining books published under Del Rey's imprint (AKA The Further Adventures of Darth Jacen) were where things really started to go off the rails (I mean, maybe it wasn't, strictly speaking, outside of the realm of possibility for the galaxy to devolve into another major war, but with the Yuuzhan Vong invasion so recent in memory, it really felt to me more like conflict for the sake of selling books rather than an organic development of in-universe politics).

Not saying I'd want to adapt the NJO verbatim, but I think the basic plot of a war with a culture that's completely alien and inimical to basically everything and everyone on the GFFA is a very good one. I really liked the later books where they tried to show things from the Vong's perspective, how incomprehensible they found everything in the Galaxy in comparison with their own bizarre and unsettling practices and technology, how they were utterly convinced that they were the good guys and that their invasion was a noble crusade, rather than a genocidal jihad.

Feels bad, man...

I think antagonistic Empires are a little over-played in SW at this point. I mean, we've got, what? The Galactic Empire, the Infinite Empire, the Old Sith Empire, the New Sith Empire, the One Sith Empire...the only one I'll give a pass to is the Felpire by virtue of not being head-bonkingly evil and for having the groovy Imperial Knights.

And now he's considered irrelevant for being too conservative by the standards of The Current Year...

Don't forget Ackbar's final contribution: literally doing a Gendo "Just as planned" move in annihiliating one of the Yuuzhan Vong's battle fleets, despite already in pretty bad shape health-wise. And that Bothan Chancellor doing an Allahu Ackbar on the Vong invaders as a final fuck-you to taking Coruscant.

There's so many good setpieces that could be mined from that series and it honestly only needed brushing up the odious parts to make it less shite.

 

[TheMysteriousAHole]

- fucking Merry from LOTR showed up for some reason almost to just throw shade on how shit this all is

Inbetween laughing my ass off over this whole situation, I gotta point out that dude is playing a minor Resistance character in the movie. 'Cause of fucking Lost and shit.

 

[DogEatDogFood]

- Mark Hamil looks like he wants to stop living

Mark Hamill looks like he wants to die since the very day that he knew how they were going to treat his character in TLJ

Spoiler

In other news, have screaming Palpy

 

[Ashen One]

Didn't see this one posted yet:

Spoiler

View attachment 1054584
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh, wow. I'm only following this to see the world on fire and even I am offended by how shitty an ending this is to everyone involved.

 

[Love Machine]

You know, even the prequels had famous scenes.... at least a few. maul vs obi wan, all the sheev scenes, order 66, even the younglings. But i cant think of anything from the new trilogy. Thats the saddest part, I will at least find solace if we have at least 1 last.... sheev scene.

 

[Creep3r]

- fucking Merry from LOTR showed up for some reason almost to just throw shade on how shit this all is

That's actually kind of beautiful.

It really is...

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

You know outsiders have dogged fans for making Jake Lloyd want to kill himself.

Then we allegedly cyberbullied Hayden Christensen.

Oh and don't forget Ahmad Best wanted to suck start a shotgun because people hated Jar Jar.

I think alot of that was embellished, but to the shill journalists I want you to know I hope Daisy "Horseteeth" Ridley necks herself at her earliest convenience.

To quote that fetal alcohol eco Swede "you have stolen my childhood and my future". Fuck you Daisy. Fuck you for ruining the legacy of a great hero and his bloodline. Rot in hell bitch.

I'd say "embellished" is an understatement. They blame the fans for their own sins.

Oh yeah! I member Jedi Knight! That was mega. And it had a better plot than the Disney Trilogy and, dare I say it, better acting too.

I think now's a good time to share this:

A full length Jedi Knight movie starring Jason Court and Christopher Neame would've been more enjoyable than the Sequel Trilogy by a parsec. There's not enough actual scenery for Neame to chew, he's about to start gnawing on Bennett Gillory's face.

 

[Cyril Sneer]

Don't get me wrong. I had a lot of beefs with NJO (still do) and I disagree with the execution of the Vong a lot, but my issue is more with the execution of the story rather than the premise. The idea of the Galaxy fighting an evil force of evil invaders from the void is one that's definitely interesting but needed better execution, and instead of having multiple authors work on that shit, keep it under just one for more consistency. And don't nuke fan favorite things and kill at wonton so as to make deaths seem more meaningful rather than for shock value. I mean, for all that I've said about Vongs in this thread, I like their organic tech and culture, and I like those creepy brain computers they had, the Yammosk. Its like Mindflayer Elder Brains but a hundred times more fucked up, dangerous and evil.

If I were to rewrite the NJO, I would probably emphasize how the long journey through the Void contributed to the Vong culture being as fucked up as it was when they arrived in the Galaxy. Like, they started emphasizing stoicism and personal sacrifice to survive the journey, and it eventually degenerated into this Aztec-level sadomasochistic madness.

But personally, I feel like a better choice for extra galactic invaders would've been the robotic overlords that enslaved the Vong who come to the galaxy to destroy and enslave organic life.

It's not a bad idea, but robot armies don't have quite the same "WTF?" alienness to them as the Vong in the SW setting.

Don't forget Ackbar's final contribution: literally doing a Gendo "Just as planned" move in annihiliating one of the Yuuzhan Vong's battle fleets, despite already in pretty bad shape health-wise. And that Bothan Chancellor doing an Allahu Ackbar on the Vong invaders as a final fuck-you to taking Coruscant.

There's so many good setpieces that could be mined from that series and it honestly only needed brushing up the odious parts to make it less shite.

My dude.

Inbetween laughing my ass off over this whole situation, I gotta point out that dude is playing a minor Resistance character in the movie.

I plain forgot about that...

 

[BipolarPon]

Mark Hamill looks like he wants to die since the very day that he knew how they were going to treat his character in TLJ

Spoiler

In other news, have screaming Palpy

View attachment 1054685

I would be making that face to, if i was revived from the dead only to have my legacy shit on by a plak of wood. Who were supposed to care about.

 

[Optimus Prime]

Kathleen Kennedy would be Palpatine.

Would she be Palpatine or that bitch in the comics who apparently was doing everything because Palpatine somehow was less than useless and she was the one calling all the shots?

 

[Cantercoin]

When you think about this, excluding the stupid-ass kiss, this really is a sexless trilogy. No one's getting fucked except for the old fans. Rey gets no dick and Poe doesn't get to molest that Stormtrooper booty.

EDIT:

Spoiler: God bless you further leaks

View attachment 1054570

I see they decided to break out the PS3 model for palpatine

 

[DogEatDogFood]

You know what's really fucking funny? The fact that probably are gonna mention the word "Snoke" zero times.

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

You know what's probably fucking funny? The fact that probably are gonna mention the word "Snoke" zero times.

Yeah, because he's a supreme fucking joke.