Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Love Machine]

Ewoks somehow took down Star Destroyers that were in space and now this ambiguous evil not-empire government that was only in power for less than year (maybe even just a few months) has been overthrown with no problem as all their ships are now simultaneously breaking down and their soldiers dying for no reason? Don't think about it too much. Just consume product.
View attachment 1057369
Funny thing is that this is another example of Disney's DLC style crockery, since in the Galaxy's Edge park you learn that Ewoks are actually brilliant engineers and hackers for no reason despite coming from a forest world devoid of tech, thus explaining IX's bullshit, but the only way you can know this is by going to the expensive as shit park and download the Galaxy's Edge app.

Also wtf is up with these assholes?
View attachment 1057368
Are they even remotely relevant?

God that's a cool stormtrooper... I can't wait to buy a toy of it.....

 

[Drihten]

100% grade
"don't dwell on the logic"

The only Hoffman I'm seeing is the giant rodent dick going down The Guardian's throat. Seriously, that has to be one of the worst "positive" reviews I've ever seen for any movie. Even if I was intent on seeing the movie, reading this would make me hesitant

The Guardian is notoriously shit and is known for being a neo-liberal rag, so we wouldn't lose anything if it was to shut down (Apparently they're in a bad shape financially).

 

[AtomicAgeBoy]

With what armaments are worlds rising up? Given that their big boss had just been demolished, why wouldn't the remaining First Final Order ships just land on the Ewoks and the Jakku natives and the Bespinites with both feet? Also if they "reign supreme" still, they surely still have enough manpower and matériel to keep control. Surely Pryde or whoever's next in the chain of command would take over.

Pryde died on Exegol when Finn destroyed the capital ship

 

[Dom Cruise]

View attachment 1057355
George, I am sorry I called you all those mean names over the Prequels that you made. I am sorry I hated your midichlorians and Jar Jar. Please George, just come back and make your dumb movies again, they were bad but there is some life in them unlike the completely corporate shit.

George must be a pretty happy man right now, no one will ever be able to work up the same bile towards the prequels after this.

 

[Silent Observer]

View attachment 1057367

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH OH FUCK REMEMBER THAT GUY WITH TERMINAL CANCER WHOSE LAST WISH WAS TO SEE THIS FUCKING TRAINWRECK?!

Dying Star Wars fan treated to early Rise of Skywalker screening

"The patient and his family are completely over the moon of Endor about it all."

www.cnet.com

Jesus fucking christ......i cant even fathom just how fucking awkward and depressing it must have been to be in that room with the disney rep and the dying man watching that horseshit

If your dying wish is to see a Disney Trilogy Star Wars film, then you deserve the terminal cancer. Sick Boi should've learned his lesson after TLJ.

EDIT: The above is a tasteless joke. I do not endorse the infliction of cancer on Star Wars fans

 

[BrunoMattei]

What does Armond White think of this movie?

 

[Creep3r]

God that's a cool stormtrooper... I can't wait to buy a toy of it.....

Don't forget the Funko POP tie-in!

 

[Grotesque Bushes]

Speakin of lovecraft.........ya wanna know who just got signed on to adapt his shit for screen?

There. Is. No. Escape...

I am 100% certain they'll aim high, and unintentionally they'll make this:

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

At this point i realy think the box office sales is going to be as bad as Ranger Soylo.
The shills giving mixed to bad reviews means that bad word of mouth is going to spread like wildfire more easily IT'S ALREADY SPREADING!
Genuine interest for Star Wars is almost nonexistent and if it wasn't for the Mandolorian or Jedi:Fallen Order there wouldn't be anything at all.

I realy hope we get to see JJ sperg the same way Ruin did with TLJ, it would be the cherry on top of the cake.

As much as I'd like that. I get the feeling most people would wind up seeing it anyway (albeit through a crappy pirate rip) just to see exactly how terrible it'll be.

If it makes as much as Frozen 2 has so far, or even beats Cats on its opening weekend, then I will be surprised.

 

[verissimus]

Don't forget the Funko POP tie-in!
View attachment 1057373

You spelled Tshi wrong. Come on.

 

[AtomicAgeBoy]

Ewoks somehow took down Star Destroyers that were in space and now this ambiguous evil not-empire government that was only in power for less than year (maybe even just a few months) has been overthrown with no problem as all their ships are now simultaneously breaking down and their soldiers dying for no reason? Don't think about it too much. Just consume product.
View attachment 1057369
Funny thing is that this is another example of Disney's DLC style crockery, since in the Galaxy's Edge park you learn that Ewoks are actually brilliant engineers and hackers for no reason despite coming from a forest world devoid of tech, thus explaining IX's bullshit, but the only way you can know this is by going to the expensive as shit park and download the Galaxy's Edge app.

Also wtf is up with these assholes?
View attachment 1057368
Are they even remotely relevant?

The stardestroyers above Endor seemed to be in a space battle of sorts, couldnt really make out what was happening. But don't worry, Ewoks didn't bring it down.
There is literally nothing about sith troopers, not specifically mentioned or anything, They were fighitng against the horse assault on top of the capital ship in exegol

 

[Drihten]

Don't forget the Funko POP tie-in!
View attachment 1057373

I'd prefer the Sneed Trooper funko pop to be honest.

 

[Cod of War]

They did cancel the Obi-Wan series, right? He is safe...right?

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

195 reviews and a score of 59%, if this thing ends up below 60%, my sides will leave the orbit.

I think at this point, we can conclude that the score won't end up that much higher, even if it gets a shitton of paid reviews, it has been shitbombed so hard, it won't be climbing out of that pit. It's beautiful.

They put him in charge of the mopping up operation

Underrated comment right there.

Would supreme jobber snoke getting help from ghost sheev have been better?

Depends on the execution, but to my tastes, bringing Palps back is always a bad idea. Only, if it had been executed in a competent manner, it might not be utter trash.
The way it did pan out though . . . sheesh.

Word has it @Null is going to delete the thread at 1488 pages so I'm glad you nerds are accelerating it

You won't be replacing Dynastia with this kind of weak sauce low effort shitposting, you know.

 

[Silent Observer]

I just want to take a quick rewind back to when Eric "Take It Up The" Butts cried like a bitch over the trailer and virtue signallers around the world came to his defense.

 

[AlexGroans]

Disney shills breaking rank, and a Star Wars film set to bomb harder than Solo. What a time to be alive

 

[Dom Cruise]

Remember the good old days of 2015, when TFA, while not great, was not a total embarrassment, it had its moments like “TRAITOR!”?

There was a feeling of potential, where did it all go so wrong?

 

[Creep3r]

There is literally nothing about sith troopers, not specifically mentioned or anything, They were fighitng against the horse assault on top of the capital ship in exegol

So all that stupid forced "hype" and merchandise tie-ins these nu-Sith Troopers had and they aren't even remotely relevant? Wow. Bravo JJ.

 

[Marissa Moira]

Ewoks somehow took down Star Destroyers that were in space and now this ambiguous evil not-empire government that was only in power for less than year (maybe even just a few months) has been overthrown with no problem as all their ships are now simultaneously breaking down and their soldiers dying for no reason? Don't think about it too much. Just consume product.
View attachment 1057369
Funny thing is that this is another example of Disney's DLC style crockery, since in the Galaxy's Edge park you learn that Ewoks are actually brilliant engineers and hackers for no reason despite coming from a forest world devoid of tech, thus explaining IX's bullshit, but the only way you can know this is by going to the expensive as shit park and download the Galaxy's Edge app.

Also wtf is up with these assholes?
View attachment 1057368
Are they even remotely relevant?

I guess they want the Ewoks to be in-universe Nigerians.

There was a push back in early 2018 about the wonders of up and coming african computer companies. It turned out to all be a sham or re-branded components from other western countries. CNN had an interview up about establishing a Silicon Savanna or whatever bullshit they called it.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

MovieBob gives IX an fucking 8/10.