Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[That Chris Guy]

It completely invalidated every movie before it. Why build a Death Star when you could destroy an entire planet by hyperspace ramming a single Tie Fighter into it?

I know, which is why it's all the more confusing that those that answered him said it wasn't contradictory. For that reason I don't blame him for that terrible piece of storytelling.

 

[Optimus Prime]

So, just to make sure I get what's going on with the DisneyEU...

- Leia basically gets kicked out of the Republic because she's Vader's daughter, which is a bad thing despite her being, y'know, a motherfucking badass in her own right. And Vader ultimately was the one who defeated Palps anyway.

- Rey, who is Palpatine's granddaughter, is not going to be subjected to the same unfair scruitiny even though Palpatine's entire plan was for her to succeed him, and he's the main evil entity in the galaxy?

I need a source for the Leia thing, because I feel like it's going to come up a LOT in arguments elsewhere and I have to prove to others that Rey is in fact going to avoid the same bullshit Leia was put through purely because of bloodlines, all because Rey is super special and can't possibly fail at anything.

 

[Rotollo]

I don't think I can get through it. Rob is virtue signalling like mad, mocking fans in that annoying Douchey McNitpick voice.

its like a weird bizzaro brad jones impression

Mauler has actually finished (or at least close to finishing it) the first draft of his video on this abomination. We may just see it by the end of the year after all

so in Mauler time, half a decade?

 

[Reverend]

Watching Doomcock's friday night livestream and he makes a solid point:

Rey and Kylo can force heal people. They can literally bring people back from the dead. If this power existed within them then why, for nearly the entire trilogy have we not seen it's use before? Even more importantly puzzling, why did Anakin Skywalker not find out about said force power and seek to acquire it at all costs knowing the woman he loved would die. He could, therefore, bring her back from the dead with ease and live with her forever. This concept invalidates the basis of Revenge of the Sith, Anakin's reason to turn to the dark side, and all jedi who are lost to Order 66 because surely if one Jedi survives they can bring them all back from the dead with a SNAP of the fingers.

JJ not only destroyed The Last Jedi, and Return of the Jedi, he needed to invalidate the Prequels as well.

Fuck him.

PS. If this was posted somewhere in these 1200 pages I missed it. Late/Gay and all the memberberries.

Mauler has actually finished (or at least close to finishing it) the first draft of his video on this abomination. We may just see it by the end of the year after all

Never gonna happen. June, 2020. I'll go see ROTS in the theater if he puts out a video before midnight 12/31/2019. This I pledge.

 

[Starscreams Cape]

As presented, Finn had no chance of being interesting. But there was potential in the idea of an ex-Stormtrooper overcoming brainwashing and trying to figure out how to live outside of the regimented world that twisted him when he was a child.

Ditch the Space Janitor crap and have him be a genuine child soldier and indoctrinated killer. Maybe he's set off by ... something or other and ends up in the hands of the Resistance, who try to rehabilitate him so they can get any inside information about the First Order that they can. His nemesis ends up being Captain Phasma, who was his commanding officer and lost a number of troops in the conflict where he changed sides, so she blames him for the loss of her men. Conflicting loyalties. Learning to be human and to trust. Trying to rehabilitate a guy who's been trained since childhood to be an emotionless murder-slave.

I think there was potential in this new trilogy. It didn't have to suck quite so hard.

LOL I'm sure they'd have loved to create a deeper movie with complex motivations. But how are they supposed to cram that in when they need to fill it full of current day progressive politics, prank phone call jokes (remember the first minute of TLJ) and douchey references to a 25 year old movie by Kevin Smith?

 

[Shield Breaker]

So, just to make sure I get what's going on with the DisneyEU...

- Leia basically gets kicked out of the Republic because she's Vader's daughter, which is a bad thing despite her being, y'know, a motherfucking badass in her own right. And Vader ultimately was the one who defeated Palps anyway.

- Rey, who is Palpatine's granddaughter, is not going to be subjected to the same unfair scruitiny even though Palpatine's entire plan was for her to succeed him, and he's the main evil entity in the galaxy?

I need a source for the Leia thing, because I feel like it's going to come up a LOT in arguments elsewhere and I have to prove to others that Rey is in fact going to avoid the same bullshit Leia was put through purely because of bloodlines, all because Rey is super special and can't possibly fail at anything.

According to general, Luke Skywalker was also ostracized for being Vader's son.

 

[Notgoodwithusernames]

So apparently Palpatine's big speech mentioned in the title crawl happened in the fucking fortnite event....... Im done.... Im just done

 

[Oaat]

I was going to wait until the movie finished but I can't wait I have to show you now.

DARTH REY JUMPSCARES HERSELF BY BARING HER TEETH AND SHE HAS CGI POINTY TEETH IT'S LIKE A SHITTY HORROR MOVIE

 

[feral cat #6385]

Well.......I guess yall should see this

....hah..hahhaha...hahahahaha...hahahahhaAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAAAAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

2Pac really needs to be Photoshopped into that.

 

[Rotollo]

So a dragon ball fan, a soyboy, a false flagger and an orbital pity party walk into a bar....

 

[HollaGemini]

I know movies and shows have to do it, but reminding the audience of what they should already know has to be done well.
This movie feels like every other line of dialogue is spoon feeding the previous movies events, and they cram it all in with no regard of how stupid it sounds.
I also dont like how beasts and animals are handled -_- "LETS BE FRIENDS"?! What happened to *drops a metal door on its neck*?
Every part of the movie is tainted with politics.
How long until they come for The Mandalorian you guys think?

 

[frozenrunner]

Ditch the Space Janitor crap and have him be a genuine child soldier and indoctrinated killer. Maybe he's set off by ... something or other and ends up in the hands of the Resistance, who try to rehabilitate him so they can get any inside information about the First Order that they can. His nemesis ends up being Captain Phasma, who was his commanding officer and lost a number of troops in the conflict where he changed sides, so she blames him for the loss of her men. Conflicting loyalties. Learning to be human and to trust. Trying to rehabilitate a guy who's been trained since childhood to be an emotionless murder-slave.

And none of that would really fit in with a proper, Flash Gordon-esque Star Wars story. But at least it would have been genuine, interesting character study. None of the new characters have enough complexity to them to be interesting except maybe Kylo Ren.

Lucas's prequel characters were flat, empty plot devices that were apparently written without theory of mind. They exist only to move towards the plot events that were inevitable when working backwards from the OT. They're awful.

So it's even more embarrassing that Disney couldn't do a much better job, but they didn't. It's like someone with no understanding of character tried to carbon copy the original characters.

 

[BipolarPon]

So apparently Palpatine's big speech mentioned in the title crawl happened in the fucking fortnite event....... Im done.... Im just done

So Fortnite and a kids Lego cartoon is more canon than Mara Jade and Kyle Katran.

2Pac really needs to be Photoshopped into that.

I'm gonna leave this here
Rise of Skywalker true ending.

 

[ZMOT]

I think there was potential in this new trilogy. It didn't have to suck quite so hard.

not under disney, not in current year, not under the people that were running the show. even with the best screenwriter and director it would still be dragged drown by KK and her tard daycare aka story group. the closest you'd have gotten would be MCU, and even that's more a positive exception than the rule.
look what else we got under disney. the awful comics. books with literal fart humor and a style you have to wonder if the author suffered brain damage. nah, it was fucked from the start. JJ would have just repeated lost and star trek, even if ruin johnson had not tried to be smarter than he is.

Ditch the Space Janitor crap and have him be a genuine child soldier and indoctrinated killer. Maybe he's set off by ... something or other and ends up in the hands of the Resistance, who try to rehabilitate him so they can get any inside information about the First Order that they can. His nemesis ends up being Captain Phasma, who was his commanding officer and lost a number of troops in the conflict where he changed sides, so she blames him for the loss of her men. Conflicting loyalties. Learning to be human and to trust. Trying to rehabilitate a guy who's been trained since childhood to be an emotionless murder-slave.

maybe it's just me, but I don't really need a super depressing wombo-combo of sad background checkmarks which only exist to throw in your face how "evil" the first order is. I mean what's next, first order concentration camps? showing how rey was a sex-slave for a few years?
don't get me wrong, there can be a space for that kind of stuff, but in a mainline episode it just feels off and trying to hard. and even if they really go with it it would never do the background justice, so might as well keep light and ambiguous.

EDIT; @frozenrunner beat me to it.

What the heck, what the hell did she do to provoke this? I'm a little out of the loop on this.

it's /tv/ being /tv/. big part of it posting it over and over to make it a meme, the rest is dudes like to look at females. add to that she's basically an official cosplayer for a "nerd" franchise and you get the rest.

 

[Slowboat to China]

And none of that would really fit in with a proper, Flash Gordon-esque Star Wars story. But at least it would have been genuine, interesting character study. None of the new characters have enough complexity to them to be interesting except maybe Kylo Ren.

Honestly, I do agree--Flash Gordon didn't really do angst and brainwashing. But a version of that story still could've worked.

I think that's one reason people are so het up about all of this. Expectations were high and had much further to fall. Wasted potential is far more frustrating than having shit be shitty.

 

[RumblyTumbly]

I just got back from seeing it.

It wasn't a complete train wreck of a film. Lord knows I've sat through much worse, but it was a total mess and in the end, it was just empty. I'd still say Attack of the Clone is the worst of the live action movies, Clone Wars animated film worst overall. When its all said and done though, I think this trilogy will be looked back on as a huge missed opportunity that imploded thanks to Rian's decisions in The Last Jedi.

And The Force is being used as a crutch to explain away inconsistencies and its beyond annoying. Literally any hole or inconsistency in this film can be explained with "The Force did it" and its ridiculous.

And now I REALLY want to see all three ST films all in a row just to see how much of a fucking mess the whole thing is, because these films don't feel like they belong together at all.

 

[Marissa Moira]

At least they didn't bother ending the movie with a pan out showing earth in the distance

 

[Fluke]

Not to suck filonis cock or anything but how can he make me care more about 5 clones on a shit hole in the outerrim in one episode ala 20 then Jar jar can with 3 movies and a hundreds of millions of dollars?

Spoiler: Clone wars Season 1 ep 5 spoiler

Characters
Cpt. Rex - Mainstay of the clone wars series hotheaded.
Cmd. Cody - Comander who does everything by the book
Fives - Rookie to the gang who does everything by the book
Echo - Low ranking clone solider, tactician
Hevy - Low ranking clone soldier who has been with the gang for a while hotheaded always looking for action.
Commando droids - New tactical smart droids
Plot
4 clones are stationed on a shithole rock in the middle of nowhere. This rock the last defense of the clone homeworld kamino. Kamino is an improbable target of invasion. Beacuse of this the station is one of the most boring in the galaxy. The clones are clearly frustrated at the lack of action and most of them start to slack off as there never has been anything of note going on. All of a sudden a seperatist drop pods full of the new intelligent commando droids drop on the rock disguising themselves as meteors. The clones miss this and the seps take controll of the station by killing all but four new clones whom escape trough the sewers the droids also force an all clear signal that makes it impossible for the clones to warn the republic. All of this is part of general grevious plan to invade Kamino

But there is a slim chance of hope for a our recruits as today is inspection day, Cmd Cody and Cpt. Rex are sent to make sure that the station is operating at peak efficiency. The high ranking clones contacts base before landing and the droid tries tricking the commanders trough an impression and the droid tries to force them to leave the clones refuse.
As Rex and Cody land. Rex notices something strange about the supposed clone speech pattern. Suddenly a flare litghts upp the sky and Rex blasts the rookie in the face.
What the hell Rex?! yells Cody.
Rex takes off his helmet to reveal a droid.
They then get ambushed by the droids who blows up their ship and they are forced too abandon the landing plattfrom. There they meet up with the rookies.
Rex forces them at gunpoint to take of their helmets. Rex explains that no matter the odds the clones have to defend their home.
After introductions are done the higher ranking clones decide to take back the station trough deception tricking the droids with the same trick the droids had used on them earlier . When the clones take back the station the seps realise that something is up as their unit is not responding, General grevious is desperate to hide his plans and sends a reinforcement ship that contains hundreds, if not thousands of droids. The clones realise that under these circumstances they could never win a battle trough guns and grit.

They discover that they cannot stop the all clear signal and they deicide that the best course of action would be to blow up the station. As this would force the republic to respond

Fives is horrifed cause this is not by the book
Echo comes up with how its gonna be done.
Hevy is explains how the explosives are gonna be used.

They take heavy arms from the armory. Hevy gets the gattling gun. They rig remote explosives. They fight of the first wave of the reinforcements

The detenator wont link to the explosives, hevy stays behind to fix it. While the other clones escapes trough the sewers. He dosent have enough time and instead decides to have a last stand. Hevy fights like a true spartan until he cant carry the weapon anymore. In his dying moments he hears the droids saying :
ehhh do we take prisoners?
He responds : I don´t and blows up the station

The republic comes and fights of the seps and pick up the clones. The episode ends with Fives and Echo at an award cermony where they get commentated. They both say they dont deserve this cause they failed thier orginal objective. Rex says they are wrong and invites them to serve in the 501st which is Anakins clone legion.

Answer : Jar jar is a director whom only care for bigger and "better" while fillony might use a lot of cliches is atleast competent in writing.

 

[Uranus Pink]

Why 27 discs? Even with special features and documentaries it there shouldn't be that many discs? Does the set include the original 'un-specialised' versions? Work prints? The Plinkett Reviews?

Extra discs could have an assortment of SW fan films and such. Or an assortment of vanilla SW cosplay porn.

 

[Saint Skittles]

I need a source for the Leia thing, because I feel like it's going to come up a LOT in arguments elsewhere and I have to prove to others that Rey is in fact going to avoid the same bullshit Leia was put through purely because of bloodlines, all because Rey is super special and can't possibly fail at anything.

End of Claudia Gray's "Bloodline," her secret comes out and she goes from favorite to take over the New Republic to her political career being fucked.