My girlfriend and I (cis ladies) are big fans of your work, but we're a little confused about the NoFap stuff. Masturbation is a healthy part of our routine - I'm actually trying to masturbate more, not less, to help my sex drive after going on anti-anxiety medication. 'PMO' is a fulfilling and normal part of our lives, and it saddened us to think of you denying yourself. Would you consider posting here about what brought you to r/NoFap and why it works for you?
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Thank y’all for the messages like this one, I absolutely love talking about this topic, and yes I will make a comic about how I got into NoFap and porn/sex addiction programs and why they’re right for me.
First off, thank you and your girlfriend for being big fans (pls tell her I say hi)! And this is just my experience with PMO (porn, masturbation, orgasm): I have been using porn and masturbation to deal with my emotions and life in general since the age of 13. I was confused, ashamed, and felt guilty of my sexuality/gender. I didn’t go out to play with other boys cuz I felt different and they could tell I was different, and they sure made fun of me for it. So when I had no friends to share my secret with, I became friends with PMO. When I hadn’t learned healthy tools yet, I just turned to what I could find at the time (PMO) to make me feel good whenever those negative feelings got too overwhelming. Instances turned into routine, routine turned into hobby, hobby turned into obsession, obsession turned into its final form, addiction.
Since the age of 13 until 2 months ago at 29, high school, coming out, college, coming out 2.0, transition, job, relationship, friendship… I used PMO to mask anger, sadness, frustrations, jealousy, anxiety… and I also used PMO to celebrate happiness and excitement. Everywhere I went, there I was.
But the one thing that finally made me realize that I really reaaaally do have this addiction is not the dream job I didn’t get, the relationship that could’ve been, the friendships I might’ve made, the goals I would’ve accomplished… it’s actually just the past two months of sobriety. I finally got a glimpse of what life would feel like when I’m not shackled by my addiction. And I wanna get the whole view one day.
Cheese aside, masturbation itself isn’t healthy or unhealthy, it’s the frequency in which you do it, if you’re abandoning something more important for it, your mental state at the time, etc. Example: work VS workaholic; shopping VS shopaholic.
Hope this is somewhat illuminating

Thank you again for your genuine and constructive questions and concern, I really appreciate it
