Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[wtfNeedSignUp]

I think the blowback from the critics is them feeling betrayed after they protected TLJ's plot decisions, only for it to be acknowledged to be shit by the next film (I'd insert a "You were the chosen one" meme edit if I was near a computer).

 

[Kulee Baba]

They keep saying this but so far almost everyone (including most people in this thread) who said they loved this movie also said that they were never really into Star Wars and don't even follow it, only like this movie as a mindless action flick. So again, this movie wasn't even made with fans in mind, just the generic movie going audiences with the only piece that could even be considered fanservice being Ian's acting but even his grand talent is horribly wasted in this film and they can't even come up with interesting new dialogue for him that isn't just rehashes of shit he's said before. This movie was made mostly with nu-fans and non-fans in mind yet they still want to blame fans for this movie blowing because it seemingly retcons TLJ even though it fucking doesn't. Luke is still dead, he died a fucking loser who lost everything, Holdo's stupid maneuver gets honored and named after her as a miraculous one in a million shit (and they expect me to believe she's the first idiot to ever try such a maneuver?), Porgs still exist even if only briefly, Rose Tico still exists but her romance was axed not because of fan backlash but because of chinese backlash (and even then the movie still bombed in China), Rey still steals everything Luke ever had, Snoke is still fucking dead and gets an awful one note explanation that says nothing about him and retcons everything that was previously stated about him Disney canon media and Reylo still happens and is more forced and awkward than ever. I could go on, but TLJ is not canon to this mess (and any shame it brought to Luke, Han and Leia was already carried over from TFA). It still fucking happens and Disney will never retcon this disaster purely because of their own ego. And of all the things these people could be bitching about, they choose to bitch about a non-existent retcon or because their Reylo ending wasn't as satisfying as they wanted it to be despite getting it, showing that pandering to shippers is fucking pointless.
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Pretty much this. One of the reasons why I could forgive even the worst decisions of the prequels is because in the end it doesn't change how things turn out in the OT. Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, 3PO and R2 still come out on top and get the hard-earned victory they deserve, and Kenobi is more of a badass than ever. People can keep saying the prequels raped their childhoods but at the end of the day it didn't change what made you love the OT characters and their glorious victory. Meanwhile the disney trilogy goes out of its way to undo everything the OT ever accomplished and taking a massive dump on its characters simply to raise its own status by repeating the exact same story. JJ, RJ and KK can honestly just fuck off.

The great news is these are just fantasy stories and no one needs to kowtow around a mainstream canon enforced by some corporate body.

At the end of the day the only canon that will matter in the long run is the canon of great American cinema. A New Hope & Empire Strikes Back will be discussed long after we're dead. Disney's Trilogy is only fascinating in the respect that something could go so awfully wrong.

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

I was never one of the "Lucas raped my childhood" loons in regards to the prequels... but they were bad. Just about any scene with a human was flat and dull and filmed in front of green cardboard. The whole trilogy was just jump cuts between Lucas directing a dull soap opera and ILM CGI marketing reels. Giving credit where it's due, I thought Ep3 rose to mediocrity... but the first two prequels are just so lifeless and wooden... even some of the best parts of the PT, the lightsaber battles, were over choreographed nonsense a lot of the time. I've said it before and I'll say it again... Whatever creative fastball Lucas once possessed was long gone by the time he decided to undertake the prequels.

As far as Disney, I wouldn't be surprised one bit that this whole trilogy gets retconned at some point. Inevitably, Iger and Kennedy will be out.. new people come on board... people that like making money and give zero shits about the egos of those who came before them... And the whole thing starts all over again... Probably with just straight recasted reboots of the OT.

Yeah, I don't ever see the OT getting rebooted any time soon. It's at "Wizard of Oz" status, culturally.

Plus, pretty positive Lucas has clauses in the contracts, that saids they can't. It's probably why Disney opted to kill his characters, than to allow them a satisfying end in the sunset...

The only time an OT reboot could happen would be when it's on verge of being public domain..

By that time either Star Wars has lost complete relevancy or it's identity has evolved past the Skywalker films(so no reason to do so either way)...

 

[Creep3r]

Probably with just straight recasted reboots of the OT.

I pretty much expected this to happen after they were through with their shitty 2022 trilogy (they gotta find new ways to milk this shit), but considering how polarizing the current trilogy is, I have to wonder if they will just cancel the 2022 trilogy or revamp it into a horrible OT remake to try and salvage their mess. Also yeah it would be nice if Disney shit could get retconned, but I just don't see it happening, at least not without retconning even the OT and also without Rian, JJ and all those involved with the films throwing a massive hissy-fit and possibly getting all legal about it like a bunch of greedy pricks.

 

[Lodoss Warrior]

TRoS's OK audience reception comes down to three things, imo:

The Mandalorian effect. After the garbage fire that was TLJ, people will take literally any mediocrity and elevate it to heights it doesn't actually reach. It also helps that this film at least pretends to respect the "traditional/casual" fan.

Jar Jar Abram's "strength." He's really good at big dumb booms and fast-paced films. So good, people often ignore how shallow the action is, and how broken the plot becomes. Regardless, it looks fun to people, and so people convince themselves that it's fun.

Finally, the "too big to fail" effect. No one wants to admit that near-half-century film legacy has gone down to flames and made its best moments completely meaningless. So, fans went to the movie wanting to like it--or at least, not wanting to despise it. The power of cognitive dissonance is strong.

We'll see how that audience reception goes in the next five years.

 

[Agent of Z.O.G.]

Before some replies, can anybody tell me if the red / sith stormtroopers were in the movie? I don't remember seeing them although like i said i missed the first ~15min or so and could have missed them while making food or taking a dump. They were fairly heavily pushed in marketing early on... did they get Yeeted like Matt Smith?

They're in the final battle.
They do stromtrooper things.

 

[Creep3r]

TRoS's OK audience reception comes down to three things, imo:

The Mandalorian effect. After the garbage fire that was TLJ, people will take literally any mediocrity and elevate it to heights it doesn't actually reach. It also helps that this film at least pretends to respect the "traditional/casual" fan.

Jar Jar Abram's "strength." He's really good at big dumb booms and fast-paced films. So good, people often ignore how shallow the action is, and how broken the plot becomes. Regardless, it looks fun to people, and so people convince themselves that it's fun.

Finally, the "too big to fail" effect. No one wants to admit that near-half-century film legacy has gone down to flames and made its best moments completely meaningless. So, fans went to the movie wanting to like it--or at least, not wanting to despise it. The power of cognitive dissonance is strong.

We'll see how that audience reception goes in the next five years.

Honestly, audience reception seems mixed to negative everywhere except Rotten Tomatoes. I've said it before, but Metacritics is always the one I prefer to rely on for audiences and critic reviews since there's no "anti-dislike bombing" safety measures over there.

Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker

Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker movie reviews & Metacritic score: No one's ever really gone... Rey's journey continues and the Skywalker saga concludes in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker....

www.metacritic.com

Hell this seems to be the consensus everywhere except RT.
One thing I have found odd though about RT is that the number of user reviews keep changing. The day before yesterday it said 20,000, but then it dropped to 12,000, then 9,000, then 8,000, then 40,000 and now 27,000. Also RT isn't even letting me post my own score/review despite that I was actually fairly nice on Solo despite my many grievances with it.

 

[BScCollateral]

The earliest i know of is the moon is a harsh mistress' by Robert Heinlien in 1966, in which rebels on the moon gain independence by flinging small rocks at hyperspeeds via a railgun and fuck up the Earth with the resulting force.

There's no hyperspeeds in Moon is a Harsh Mistress. They're just sending rocks into Earth's gravity field. That will give you nuclear-level yields.

 

[Lodoss Warrior]

Honestly, audience reception seems mixed to negative everywhere except Rotten Tomatoes. I've said it before, but Metacritics is always the one I prefer to rely on for audiences and critic reviews since there's no "anti-dislike bombing" safety measures over there.

Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker

Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker movie reviews & Metacritic score: No one's ever really gone... Rey's journey continues and the Skywalker saga concludes in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker....

www.metacritic.com

Hell this seems to be the consensus everywhere except RT.
One thing I have found odd though about RT is that the number user reviews keep changing. The day before yesterday it said 20,000, but then it dropped to 12,000, then 9,000, then 18,000 and now 27,000. Also RT isn't even letting me post my own score/review despite that I was actually fairly nice on Solo despite my many grievances with it.

Oh, I'm aware that RT is the outlier of the review sites, but I'm just reflecting on my own experience browsing through twitter and certain YouTube channels with large viewerships. Twitter seems to be a wash between people who see the good in the film (lol) and people who hate it.

Then again... Twitter.

 

[Bad_Guys_are_Good4EVER]

To be honest, J. J. Abrams should have never left Star Wars in the first place. Because he had written the scripts for episode 7-9. But he left after episode 7, and episode 8 was rewritten by a bunch of dumbasses who ignored the premise of what Star Wars was all about. So, when J. J. Abrams came back to episode 9, he had to work in episode 8 storyline into episode 9. Not to defend him for episode 9 crappy storytelling, but he really should have gone back and redone episode 8. But this is where Disney prode comes in and they refused to admit that episode 8 was garbage. That they still praise it to this day shows that Disney is only cares about having your money and not about having heart and soul into their own movies.

 

[The Decimator]

Based Ethan Van Sciver gets savage:

 

[Jaimas]

Watching the reviews here as well as the Korean Bootleg got me thinking - everyone who admitted to enjoying it in this thread either self-admittedly knew absolutely nothing about the movie series or were there for a popcorn-muncher (And were thus the exact audience Disney was banking on for this train-wreck). So while there's no accounting for taste, or, apparently, a generation of theatregoers who have lost anything remotely resembling quality recognition instincts, it has caused me to realize something interesting.

Kiwis who are familiar with the real toilet of bad movie design know that there's certain legendarily bad sequel movies, wherein any knowledge of the previous movie(s) is an active impediment to your ability to enjoy them. Plotlines, character motivations, and core concepts from previous films and movies will all be dropped in favor of either bigger production values or flashy ideas, often under the auspices of someone who has no idea what made the original(s) good and doesn't really care about it either. Previously some of the gold medal winners of this behavior included the likes of Highlander 2, Exorcist 2, and Conan the Destroyer. Probably the best-known video game example of this is Ultima IX.

I can now say with absolute certainty that TRoS belongs on this illustrious list.

it commits the same cardinal sin wherein the more you know about the movie series, the more it will manage to offend you, and not because of the simple disrespect but because it violates basic established rules of the universe and like a shitty product placement, it completely sucks you out of the movie. TLJ had a lot of this shit - the Hyperspace Ram being the most obvious example - but TROS does it continually throughout, inventing new shit out of nowhere, giving it zero fleshing out, contradicting existing lore and then giving zero fucks as it races ahead, savoring momentum.

And then you get to hear from a bunch of autistic speds about how you're a bad person because you can't look past internal inconsistency and see the real greatness lying just below the surface that they are never fully able to elaborate on.

 

[Creep3r]

On the bright side, as dim as it may be, the memes are fucking lit right now.

And the Babylon Bee just keeps getting more fierce.

Also fuck, how did I never realize this?

Watching the reviews here as well as the Korean Bootleg got me thinking - everyone who admitted to enjoying it in this thread either self-admittedly knew absolutely nothing about the movie series or were there for a popcorn-muncher (And were thus the exact audience Disney was banking on for this train-wreck). So while there's no accounting for taste, or, apparently, a generation of theatregoers who have lost anything remotely resembling quality recognition instincts, it has caused me to realize something interesting.

Kiwis who are familiar with the real toilet of bad movie design know that there's certain legendarily bad sequel movies, wherein any knowledge of the previous movie(s) is an active impediment to your ability to enjoy them. Plotlines, character motivations, and core concepts from previous films and movies will all be dropped in favor of either bigger production values or flashy ideas, often under the auspices of someone who has no idea what made the original(s) good and doesn't really care about it either. Previously some of the gold medal winners of this behavior included the likes of Highlander 2, Exorcist 2, and Conan the Destroyer. Probably the best-known video game example of this is Ultima IX.

I can now say with absolute certainty that TRoS belongs on this illustrious list.

it commits the same cardinal sin wherein the more you know about the movie series, the more it will manage to offend you, and not because of the simple disrespect but because it violates basic established rules of the universe and like a shitty product placement, it completely sucks you out of the movie. TLJ had a lot of this shit - the Hyperspace Ram being the most obvious example - but TROS does it continually throughout, inventing new shit out of nowhere, giving it zero fleshing out, contradicting existing lore and then giving zero fucks as it races ahead, savoring momentum.

And then you get to hear from a bunch of autistic speds about how you're a bad person because you can't look past internal inconsistency and see the real greatness lying just below the surface that they are never fully able to elaborate on.

Thank you for saying it so perfectly.

 

[Lodoss Warrior]

To discuss more general DisneyWars faggotry, I just discovered that there might be gay representation in the OT.

Apparently Tarkin is gay?

Way to go, Disney! In big bad Legends, there was no gay representation at all. Juhani who? Never heard of Ferus Olin either.

It's great that gays found representation in a man who literally blew up a planet.

 

[Creep3r]

To discuss more general DisneyWars faggotry, I just discovered that there might be gay representation in the OT.

Apparently Tarkin is gay?

Way to go, Disney! In big bad Legends, there was no gay representation at all. Juhani who? Never heard of Ferus Olin either.

It's great that gays found representation in a man who literally blew up a planet.

Yeah, it was part of that awful Blue Milk project, the From A Certain Point of View novel by Disney that also turned the Tusken Raider that attacked Luke into a rebellious gender confused being who hates his own people for not accepting him, canonized Skippy the Jedi Droid, removed Bea Arthur's relationship with Krelman, and turned the Trash Compactor Dianoga into a Force Priestess who was only trying to baptize Luke in sewage. Pretty much everything in it was a shitshow with only two decent stories, one of which was just a retelling of Garindan's EU story (the spy from ANH) and a short Boba Fett monologue by Paul Dini.

 

[BScCollateral]

To be honest, J. J. Abrams should have never left Star Wars in the first place.

No.

JJ Abrams seems to have a talent for sparking interest. I didn't care for Star Trek but there's no denying that a lot of people found it entertaining. I didn't see Force Awakens or Lost, but reactions (to the first seasons of the latter) were generally positive.

What JJ Abrams has never done is follow through with a promising start. It's bizarre, but his record seems to show he can make a good "first movie." He cannot make a sequel.

 

[Lodoss Warrior]

Yeah, it was part of that awful Blue tard cum project, the From A Certain Point of View novel by Disney that also turned the Tusken Raider that attacked Luke into a rebellious tranny who hates his own people for not accepting him, canonized Skippy the Jedi Droid, converted Bea Arthur's character from the Holiday Special into a whiny lesbian and turned the Trash Compactor Dianoga into a feminist Force Priestess who fights rapists and was only trying to baptize Luke. Pretty much everything in it was a shitshow with only two decent stories, one of which was just a retelling of Garindan's EU story (the spy from ANH) and a short Boba Fett monologue by Paul Dini.

Jesus Christ I thought you were joking about some parts until I searched Wookieepedia.

I guess this is a thing that exists now.

 

[Floop]

It’s still not that different from how it looked in the actual film. Seriously why was the mask just the same but they shit some red lines on it?

 

[Overcast]

Yeah, it was part of that awful Blue tard cum project, the From A Certain Point of View novel by Disney that also turned the Tusken Raider that attacked Luke into a rebellious tranny who hates his own people for not accepting him, canonized Skippy the Jedi Droid, converted Bea Arthur's character from the Holiday Special into a whiny lesbian and turned the Trash Compactor Dianoga into a feminist Force Priestess who fights rapists and was only trying to baptize Luke in sewage. Pretty much everything in it was a shitshow with only two decent stories, one of which was just a retelling of Garindan's EU story (the spy from ANH) and a short Boba Fett monologue by Paul Dini.

I'm still convinced there is someone up in Disney's chain of command who is clearly fucking with everyone at this point. And the people around them are too stupid to figure that out and keep paying them. If you're reading this, all I have to say is, my hat's off to you.

 

[Old Man Mario]

Based Ethan Van Sciver gets savage:
View attachment 1063036

I'm sure he was real upset about this when he was at his local cinema opening night.

Don't worry CG and Fandom Menace, your outrage paid for his ticket. Disney thanks you.